“Well, her problem just became our solution…” I mused. “We have a big engagement coming up ourselves and extra mana crystals will do us good. Lily, can I entrust this task to you?”
“Of course, Master,” Lily said, bowing deeply. “What do you wish?”
“Head up an envoy and bring a shipment of Fire Spice to the Lady Efera. But here’s the scam. I need you to pretend like we’re desperate for mana crystals. Rather than make our trade seem fortuitous, which could tip Efera off to our spying, make it seem like we’re in dire straits and we need her help. Of course, I want the best deal possible, so it’ll take some finagling. We can technically press her since we know she’s desperate for real, so try and get as many crystals per spice as possible.”
“Master,” Lily said, brushing her long blond hair back behind her ears. “I’m just a maid. The head maid, yes, but do you really think it wise to send me out to represent you?”
“I have faith in you, my dear Lily,” I said, smiling at her. “And frankly, I don’t have anyone else to send. The whole spy thing was your idea, so consider this just an extension of that job. Can you handle this?”
Lily nodded furiously while smoothing out her apron. “I can. I will not let you down, sir.”
“Good. Then get going. Let Sigmund handle putting the transport together, take as many people as you need and er…bring my uncle’s Karrack rifle with you. Don’t know what kind of dangers might be out on the road these days.”
Chapter 28
The key to an efficient tower strategy was creating delays. The longer it took for the enemy golems to reach their objective, the more damage they would sustain over time. The Burning Barrows’ map was properly designed for increasing the travel time already, with the maze causing the golems to move across the entire map in a right to left pattern until they finally reached the end, which contained my Mana Sphere.
In terms of efficiency, the map had proper damage coverage with the four Karrack Towers able to hit eight targets at once, as well as the ballistae that had full range to fire as the enemy moved across the realm. Three additional Miniature Trebuchets were placed in the back, their range long enough to hit anything entering the top of the second checkpoint and beyond.
But while I now had the silver to purchase more buildings, I didn’t really have any tower types that could affect the movement speed of my enemy. Phlogiston Cannons were brilliant at slowing down attackers, but only while they were within range of the fire. And being on the frontline meant they would be targets for Siege and Ignition Golems. Combined with their massive explosive damage when destroyed, they very well could ruin my maze design, even with the bronze lining on the barricades.
I scoured the guidebook that I owned, searching desperately for some language about the rules of shaping the battlefield itself. I had a rather sinister idea, but I couldn’t be sure that this plan was particularly legal. And while underhanded things were somewhat allowed outside of the battlefield, with a Judge watching my actions in a fight, I doubt I could cheat and not get caught.
“I’ve found it!” my research assistant declared. His name was Nigel and he had previously been indentured to work under one of Malphius subordinates. However, his career as an alchemist’s assistant was cut short when he had handed a phial of Electrical Substate 7 instead of Substate 8 (which was considered by all to be a rookie move) to his master. Two explosions, four surgeries and an opportunity for Malphius to test out his “Golem Hand Replacement System” had ruined Nigel’s reputation, his job opportunities and the use of his left hand for anything other than turning pages in a book. I hired him more out of pity than out of necessity. He mostly just milled around the estate until I needed him to look something up for me. I fear to say that he had more work today than in any other time under my employ.
I looked up to see the young man’s crystalline hand holding up the book. “You’re able to grasp things now?”
“Well, it can grasp things whenever it pleases,” Nigel replied. “But never when I want it to. Anyway, I found a passage here, in Barrister Leman’s Comments on The Gentleman’s War.” He struggled to pry the book out of his false hand with his real one, the two fighting for a second before he was able to free the legal tome.
He placed it on my desk and flipped to the proper page, pointing a shimmering green and yellow finger at the paragraph. “There!”
My eyes lit up at the passage. In regards to the battlefield, there is currently no agreed upon ruling about how a zone may be modified. Since tower placement constitutes a modification per se, as well as placing new buildings in a lot, there are currently no standing legal precedents that stop an individual from modifying the battlefield however they please. There have been six major battles in which a cunning Gentleman or Lady has changed up the field to make life for the invader much more difficult. See the classic tale of Lady Hirshfield’s Unending Moat for a proper example.
“So nothing prevents us from modifying the land,” I said. “Without the purchase of towers or units.”
“Quite capital!” Nigel said, making a fist with his hand and raising it towards me. “I’m trying to give you a high five,” he explained as I backed up a little.
“Ah, of course,” I replied. I quickly tapped the fist with my hand to acknowledge his desire for comradery. The fist was soaking wet. How was that even possible? “So, if I wanted to make a tar trap, something that stuck golems in place, what substance would work best?”
Nigel leaned back in thought for a moment. “Ichor has to be ruled out, because it’ll turn to vapor after the sun touches it for more than a few minutes. And tar is hard to come by. You’d never get enough to hold a golem down…oh of course! Slugtine extract. It’s cheap, easy to produce and spreads naturally when in contact with a surface. We’ll need to bake saltbrick, of course. But you could make square traps of your own with it. Golems walk through, even if they can muscle across, the Slugtine trap will spread around them, slowing them considerably.”
“But we’d need Slugtines to produce such a substance,” I countered. My spine shuddered at the memory of those horrible, glurping and glooping slug beasts, wandering the alchemical animal observatory. Slugtines had once been the largest threat to humanity, until we realized how invaluable their slime could be. Then overnight we had managed to capture the population. Damn things were crazy carnivorous, however. Get too close to one and well…let’s just say you’re fully conscious for the eight hours it takes to devour you.
“Well Malphius owes me quite a bit due to my willingness to test this arm of his,” Nigel said. “Why don’t you leave the resource acquisition to me? You just focus on building up those pits. Who knows? If this design works, we could sell it to Malphius! Could you imagine the payday?”
“I’d rather keep this proprietary,” I said. “So my enemies don’t know what I have in store for them.”
“Bah, knowledge should be given out to the world!” Nigel said, spreading his arms wide. “At affordable prices, of course.”
“Yes, yes, I’m aware what they kept repeating to us at the college. Go, find us a Slugtine. I’ll put some of the staff to work on the actual traps. You have two days.”
“Done and done,” Nigel said. He stood up and then paused, frowning a little. “Er, Richard…I’m a research assistant. This kind of work sounds like something a regular assistant would do. And since you’re the Gentleman of the House…I mean, shouldn’t I too get a promotion?”
“Tell you what, Nigel. You get me the Slugtine extract, I’ll promote you to First Alchemist of the Estate,” I said.
“What does that entail?”
“Anything I damn well want,” I replied. “I just made the title up. Go, we don’t have time for labor disputes.”
“Ah yes, the other phrase they taught us at college,” Nigel said with a chuckle. “Fine, I’ll be back with one horrible, gigantic slug.”
Chapter 29
I watched as the workers poured the
large buckets of bluish-green liquid into the dug out pits. These Vineyard workers were wearing at least three layers of protective clothing, with thick gloves to prevent any skin contact with the Slugtine extract. Nigel had made good on his offer to acquire the creature; now our garden shed had a hideous roaring slugbeast that screamed at all hours of the night. But Mister Slug, as Nigel had named it, did his job and he did it well. He produced enough extract to fill five of our Slugtine Traps. We fed the beast a steady stream of kitchen scraps and it seemed to be content enough. Perhaps it knew that a life of luxury in a garden shed, with plenty to eat, was far better than being in Malphius’ lab.
“This is an interesting stratagem, Master Richard,” Sigmund said as he stood beside me. “One that might land you in the courts.”
“I checked the laws and rules established thoroughly. There is plenty of documented evidence that participants of the game change up the lay of the land through simple day labor,” I said. “This is fully legal.”
Sigmund shrugged. “I thought everything had to be done in the Grid.”
“A dangerous assumption,” I said with a grin. “And hopefully one that my opponent will have as well.”
“Speaking of opponents…” my butler said, turning around and pointing to the swath of people that were beginning to arrive via carriage or horseback. “Is that the Count’s retinue?” These people were nobles for certain, beautifully dressed men and women with the most elegant of clothing and posture. They had attendants, maids and servants surrounding them, some holding bags, others carrying umbrellas and picnic baskets full of wine and food.
“Oh, right. Them,” I said with a sigh. “Sooooo…turns out that I agreed to something called an exhibition match. Since this is a friendly battle for sport, the Count invited all of his friends to come and watch.”
“We should have sold concessions,” Sigmund said as more people began to arrive. “How will they watch? You can barely see anything over those barricades.”
As if in answer to his question, two large horseless carriages with long flat beds designed to transport large quantities of material rolled up. In the back of these beds were all manner of ladders and benches. “The Count mentioned something about setting up stands for them to watch in his letter. Apparently, he assumed that I wouldn’t have them.”
“You sound sore.”
“Well, observation stands sound prestigious. For him to assume we didn’t have them means he assumes we’re poor and directionless.”
“We are both of those things, young Richard,” Sigmund replied.
“Yes, but I don’t want him to acknowledge it!” I hissed. More vehicles arrived and I could not help but feel that overwhelming sense of nervousness begin to creep up in my stomach. The Count was almost here, and the crowd was eager to see a big battle. Many had brought their children, as if this was nothing more than a spectacle. Then again, to them it was just a diversion, a day at the races, so to speak. They knew nothing about my wager, nor the fact that I was about to risk everything for four pieces of land. If I lost, I’d be humiliated in front of everyone.
“Any sign of Miss Lily yet?” I asked, shifting the subject and turning away from the throngs of people.
“Afraid not, sir. No word, no letter, nothing. She should have been back by now if all was well. The Lady Efera isn’t that far from here,” Sigmund said.
I gritted my teeth. What could have possibly happened? Bandits on the road? It was possible, but normally there were armed patrols of security golems to ensure such ruffians were scared away. Were Lily’s espionage efforts found out? The thought of my poor friend chained in some dungeon deep below the earth was frightening. Didn’t they execute spies?
I shook my head. Wait, I was getting ahead of myself. This wasn’t espionage against the state. Lily had letters of employ; she would be safe from any kind of consequences for her action. Maybe there was some other reason. Perhaps she was just having a long, long conversation with the Lady Efera. That was plausible, right?
A loud aoooga interrupted my increasingly panicked thoughts about my head maid. I turned to find that four large military wagons were pulling up, pulled not by propulsion nor by horses, but rather by huge golems that stampeded on all fours. They were ape-like in design, undoubtedly used for wartime. If an enemy force attempted to siege such a wagon, they’d have to deal not only with the soldiers within, but also the beasts of burden dragging the vehicle along.
The driver was honking his horn, some wretched contraption that drew in air to shriek out noise. The dense crowd cleared as these wagons rolled up to the entrance to the battlefield. Fifteen men wearing blue military jackets and armed with Karrack rifles leapt out of each wagon. They assembled into different parties and began to immediately scour the area, sweeping bushes, looking up trees and even harassing a few of the shadier-looking visitors. A commander with long red mutton chops shouted out orders as he disembarked from the lead vehicle.
“I don’t care if it’s a sharp-looking stick, if it can be used as a weapon, take it!” he said.
“Excuse me,” I said, approaching him. “Just what in blazes are your goons doing to my guests?”
“Security sweep, sir,” the commander said. He turned to face me and bowed deeply, taking off his flat cap in the process. “The Count is to be here shortly, and we must ensure his safety as well as the safety of your guests.”
Sixty men for a security sweep? Something was up here. Perhaps…perhaps the Count had been subject to an assassination attempt in the past? Or maybe he was just naturally paranoid. I realized that win or lose, this fight was a great opportunity to sit down with someone powerful and open up a conversation. Who knows, perhaps I could even make a friend.
“All done!” Nigel said, trotting up to me. “We’ve successfully placed the traps. I wish we had time to test them though.”
“So do I. But time waits for no man, it would seem,” I replied. Nigel’s golem arm swung up and patted me on the shoulder. It was surprisingly delicate (yet still sopping wet!)
“Hang in there, boss. I’m sure you’ll do fine. And, if you don’t mind my suggestion, I drew up a quick list of alchemical substances you can call upon when you use that one special ability you described to me,” he said, handing me a parchment. “Not that you need it, but…well, in the heat of things it’s easy to forget your options. Anytime I took a test, literally all of my alchemy knowledge vanished.”
I took the paper and examined it. This was quite a comprehensive list of alchemical mixtures I could use! “Well done, friend,” I said. “These look like they could be quite helpful.”
“My pleasure, sir!” Nigel said. “I mean, I am First Alchemist of the House now. Right?”
“Of course,” I replied. “We can negotiate your pay after I win this thing.”
“There he is!” someone shouted, interrupting our conversation. “It’s the Count!”
The crowd all turned to face the direction of the road as the Count’s vehicle rolled up. I was expecting some glamorous, expensive vehicle, perhaps even something with gold plating and diamond studs, but no, the Count was simply driving a regular wooden carriage carried by four horses. The creaky old thing looked to be in a state of disrepair even.
“He’s traveling incognito,” Sigmund whispered to me. “If he weren’t sitting at the helm of the driver’s seat, you’d never think a count was in that piece of junk.”
More confirmation that something was amiss. Win or lose, this meeting might be of the utmost importance to me. Maybe he too had suffered at the hands of my mystery assassin.
Even though the Count was within plain sight of me, it was nearly an hour before he headed to greet me. The crowd (and military guard) had surrounded the man, talking his ear off about all manner of subjects. The construction team worked quickly, erecting long wooden stands that were almost as high as the Judge’s tower normally was. This would give everyone a bird’s-eye view of the spectacle that was about to begin. I
nervously checked the Grid during this time, wondering if maybe I should add even more towers. I had the silver for it, right?
But…I was confident in my current design. The security level was 7 now, with the addition of those powerful trebuchets and my Slugtine traps. Rather than overspend, it would be prudent to observe the first wave and then adjust weaknesses accordingly during the downtime. This would let me both manage my money while also ensuring I didn’t waste efficiency on tower redundancies or overkill.
While the rest of the Count’s vehicles arrived, carrying the real stars of the show—the golems, I decided to familiarize myself with the list Nigel had cooked up for me. He was right about pressure reducing knowledge. While I could easily recite the alchemist’s alphabet backwards right now, in the heat of the moment most everything sort of vanished from my head. I was honestly lucky enough to remember Ichor that one time.
Alchemical Bombardment List
Quicksilver: When combined with a mana blast, causes a huge explosion damaging everything in a six square area. This explosion bypasses all forms of damage resistance.
Ichor: Binds all units in a target square for 1 minute.
Pulvarium: Causes target golem to become brittle. Every time the golem makes an attack, it receives half of the damage it deals out.
Lectinus: Accelerates the movement of all units within target square by 3x for 1 minute.
Aquani: Interferes with the pathfinding energies of a target golem, causing them to move through the maze backwards until they reach the beginning again.
Calator: Creates a four-square-sized black cloud upon impact, obscuring the targeting abilities of any unit within the area. Units cannot attack while within the black cloud, but turrets cannot target those units either.
Solin: This oil creates a thick coat around a target unit. Oil absorbs 90% of magical attacks for 2 minutes.
Gentleman's Wars: The Rules of Engagement: A Tower Defense LitRPG Series (The Great Game Book 1) Page 17