'Sit down. We cannot continue like this,' Sir Piers said abruptly. Eva noticed his jaw was tense, and his eyelid twitched spasmodically. 'It is clear that to persist with our marriage is to invite disaster. I underestimated your dislike of me and your love – if that is what it is – for your cousin. If you want him, with all his faults, I will begin to set in train an annulment as soon as the tournament is over.'
*
Chapter 10
Eva stared at him, unable to believe what she heard. Did he really intend to give her the freedom she had fought for? Abruptly he turned away to the narrow slip window and looked out over the bailey.
'Is it not what you want?' he demanded angrily.
Eva regained the power of speech.
'Of course it is,' she replied hastily. 'I – I thank you, Sir Piers,' she continued more slowly. 'I never wished for this tangle, I am sorry for it.'
'I will send to your father as soon as the tournament is over,' he went on, facing her again. 'It would be an abuse of Lord Henry's hospitality to bring such matters into the open during the tourney. May I ask you to be discreet until then?'
'Do you mean you don't want me to tell Gilbert?' she asked blankly. 'It would make matters far easier if I could.'
'He has a plot afoot, does he? What is it? Does he hope to take the opportunity of making you a widow?' he asked sardonically. 'You would be a much better match for him then!'
'Of course he has no such idea!' Eva retorted, stung into fury by this suggestion. 'Gilbert is honourable, he would not attempt, or even think of such a thing!'
'You should know him best,' Sir Piers replied with a shrug and looked again out of the window. There was a long silence.
'Will you – do you intend to marry Blanche?' Eva asked suddenly, unable to suppress her curiosity. Sir Piers glanced at her over his shoulder, a bitter expression in his eyes.
'I think one attempt at marriage is enough, Eva.'
Although she knew it would be better to remain silent, for some inexplicable reason Eva was compelled to go on.
'She loves you, that is clear. And there is no obstacle. She seems as wealthy as I, but even if she is not, what does it matter to you? You are far wealthier than either of us and do not need to make a marriage for mercenary reasons.'
'Unlike some?' he queried with a lift of his eyebrow, and she flushed at the scarcely veiled reference to Gilbert's relative poverty. 'I appreciate your concern for my marital wellbeing,' he went on in an even tone, 'but I do not intend to enter the wedded state again.'
Again there was a long silence and Eva did not know how to break it. Then to her relief Sir Piers excused himself and she was left alone.
She was free! That was her first thought, and then the realisation hit her that she could soon marry Gilbert. Indeed, her father was likely to be so angry with her that he would wish to rid himself of her as soon as possible, for he would feel the disgrace keenly.
She sat on in the small room, making plans and deciding how best to tell her father all that had happened. It would, she was well aware, be a difficult task to make him understand how she could reject a man like Sir Piers. But it was all well worth while if in the end she could have the happiness of becoming Gilbert's wife.
She was unaware of how long she had been in the room when the door opened. She looked up guiltily, thinking Lord Henry was coming in, and wondering how to explain her own presence there, but it was not Lord Henry.
'Gilbert!' she cried and sprang to her feet. He held out his arms and she ran across the small space that divided them and fell into his arms. 'How did you find me?'
Gilbert kissed her eagerly. 'Your – Sir Piers sent me a message. What has happened? He just said you were probably still here and would wish to speak to me. Why has he suddenly decided to throw us together after guarding you so closely?'
'Gilbert, he has agreed to seek an annulment! I shall be free, free to marry you!'
He stared at her in astonishment, and then took her gently in his arms and kissed her again, a long kiss which became more urgent as his arms tightened about her.
'Eva, I can't believe it,' he said, lifting his mouth from hers momentarily. 'Will your father agree?'
'He will be only too anxious to send me away, to forget it ever happened,' she laughed.
'We must think. I dare not leave Lord Henry now, I am about to achieve advancement. We must keep it secret and then after we are wed, and if I can obtain employment elsewhere you could join me. You could live at my manor or with your father.'
'I want to be with you!' she protested, pushing herself away from him and staring up into his eyes. 'I don't wish to be hidden away at your manor as though you are ashamed of me!'
'Eva, how could I ever be that? But you must see there will be talk, and my career could be broken before it has properly started. We will have to be circumspect for a while until all the scandal has died down.'
'It is not scandal! How can it be? I have done nothing wrong so why should you be ashamed of me?'
'I am not, I am proud to think you love me. Eva, let us talk of this some other time, for the moment all I want is to hold you in my arms, knowing I have the right to do so and it will soon be for ever.'
Eva submitted, but when they eventually separated there was a nagging worry in the back of her mind. She went to the little herb garden, sure it would be deserted while all the guests were at the fair, and sat there in the sunshine trying to sort out her thoughts.
*
It was natural Gilbert should be ambitious, and not wish his marriage and the undoubted talk that would surround it to blight his prospects, she told herself firmly. She must accept that and remain on his manor by herself. No doubt there was a great deal of neglect there which she could busy herself putting right. The thought did not enchant her, but she comforted herself with the promise it would not be for long, and soon Gilbert could be with her always, and she could live with him wherever his duties took him.
It was then that another vague, previously unconsidered worry forced itself into the forefront of her mind. Why, when Gilbert held her in his arms, did she not experience that fear, that sense of anticipation, the craving for the embrace to continue for ever, which she had known when Piers had kissed her? Why did she not feel that mixture of anticipation and delight, the desire to surrender entirely to his will?
The reason hit her as though a physical blow had been struck. She tried desperately to push it away, but it insistently returned, and she had to face it. Without having been aware of the process she had come to love her husband. When he kissed her or held her in his arms, she now admitted, it was desire and bliss she experienced, not fear, whereas with Gilbert's embraces she felt no more than a calm acceptance that it was a necessary part of being in love.
For a time Eva was too appalled and confused to think properly. What had she done through her stubborn refusal to accept Sir Piers as a husband? What hope was there for her now?
When she had grown calmer she began to consider the possible courses she could take. She could let it all happen as now was planned, and marry Gilbert in the full knowledge she did not love him, and probably never had. It had been a girlish infatuation, stimulated by the knowledge his family were so much less secure in wealth or position than her father. She had always felt a sense of compassion for her mother's people, thinking her father treated them unfairly, and when she had met Gilbert, young and handsome and charming, she had been very ready to think herself in love. But no longer. The very idea of marriage to him revolted her even more than it had done with Sir Piers.
Could she retrieve her marriage? Now she knew her real feelings that was her most earnest desire, but she did not see how Piers could ever forgive her and accept her again, this time fully, as his wife. Besides, he did not love her, and after her behaviour it was most unlikely he ever would. He loved Blanche, and although he had denied wishing to marry again she was certain Blanche would endeavour to change his mind once she knew the opportunity for herself e
xisted.
Briefly Eva wondered why, when Piers had been free before, Blanche had not succeeded in obtaining marriage from him, but she dismissed the puzzle impatiently, far more concerned with her own misery and the dismal future which stretched before her.
Nothing else was possible for Eva but to retire to a nunnery. Never again would she feel his strong arms about her or his hard demanding lips on hers. The mistake she had made would result in her being confined for the rest of her life within an existence she had always regarded with a shudder of revulsion, for although she performed her religious duties willingly and conscientiously the limited span of activity within convent walls had always repelled her.
*
With a sudden surge of determination Eva sprang to her feet. It should not happen. She was married to Piers, and she wanted, belatedly, but with more intensity than she had ever before wanted anything, to remain his wife, and become so in every respect. The recollection of his arms about her and his warm hard lips on hers made her feel faint for a moment, and then she clenched her hands into balls. Blanche should not have him! She would win him back for herself.
Full of determination Eva went swiftly through the outer bailey and down to the tournament ground. It was almost time for supper but there were still many guests from the castle there, and she searched for Sir Piers amongst the throng, but he was not there.
At last she returned to the castle, knowing she would see him at supper. She dressed with especial care in a close fitting gown of leafy green, the bodice cut lower than usual, fastening it with his brooch. Then she arranged her hair so that the rich colour showed beneath the lacy veil, and pinched her cheeks to bring colour to her face, which she knew was unwontedly pale.
When they met he greeted her calmly, but there was a distant look in his eyes and he did not appear to hear her determinedly bright comments about the day's events. Two or three times she caught his gaze resting on Blanche, and had to bite her lips fiercely to control the tears that threatened.
There was dancing after supper, and Eva remained close to her husband, knowing that he must ask her to partner him. But just as the musicians were striking up Gilbert appeared and bowed before her.
'Cousin Eva, will you honour me?' he asked, casting a look of triumph towards Sir Piers. Sir Piers looked astonished, then inclined his head.
'I wish you joy,' he said ambiguously and as Eva, fulminating silently against Gilbert for his inopportune appearance, walked into the centre of the great hall beside him, he turned and disappeared into the crowd.
Eva waited impatiently for that dance to end. She evaded Gilbert's attempts to hold her closely when the figures of the dance brought them into contact with one another, and shook her head angrily when he attempted to talk. She was desperately afraid he would make some revealing comment which would hint at their secret, knowing that once rumours started it would be much more difficult for her to win back her husband.
'Come outside and we will find a quiet spot,' Gilbert suggested as the dance ended, and Eva shook her head impatiently.
'Are you mad? We must behave as before. It will be intolerable for me if people are talking about us.'
*
She escaped from him and went to find Sir Piers, but he had vanished. She could not find Blanche either, and the dreadful suspicion they were together filled her mind. When she was spoken to she answered distractedly, and her partners received only the slightest attention as she constantly scanned the hall for a glimpse of one or other of them.
At last she spied Blanche talking to Lord John, and was struck by the manner in which he was smiling at her. Had he become enamoured of Sir Piers' mistress? What a coil if it were so. Lord John was a childless widower, she knew. If he offered Blanche marriage that could help her own situation, since Piers would have less reason for seeking to annul their own marriage. She resolved to do all she could to advance that friendship, but in the meantime where was Piers?
It was some time later before he reappeared and came towards her. With no expression on his face or in his voice he asked her to dance and they took the floor together.
By this late hour the musicians had turned to the more boisterous dances favoured by the lesser folk, and were playing the tune for a kissing dance. Eva determined to make the most of the opportunity thus fortuitously granted her.
At first Sir Piers held her hand so that she could not move close to him, but soon the figures of the dance forced him to circle her waist with his arm.
Eva moved as close within the embrace as she could, and felt him stiffen as her body came into contact with his. As soon as possible he released her, and as she glanced up at him with a shy smile on her face looked firmly over her head and refused to meet her eye.
Undaunted, Eva persisted. Half way through the dance the partners had to kiss, but Sir Piers, although he brought his lips close to Eva's, just failed to touch hers. For some time after that her spirits fell, but she knew her last opportunity would be at the conclusion of the dance when the men picked up their partners and swung them round, a chance for much kissing and cuddling which was freely taken.
She braced herself as the moment drew near, and then dexterously slipped her arms up and round his neck as he clasped her to him. For a moment she felt him hesitate, and then she was lifted off her feet and, as she was twirled about, she firmly pulled his head towards her and kissed him full on the lips.
For the space of a heartbeat she felt him respond, and then he drew sharply away from her and set her down unceremoniously on the floor, holding her firmly away from him.
'I am happy to see you are so pleased with the prospect of regaining your freedom,' he said coldly, and to Eva's dismay turned and walked straight out of the hall.
Fortunately in the flurry of the dance ending his actions had not been observed, and Eva was near a small doorway which led to one of the spiral staircases set in a corner tower. She slipped quickly through and retreated to the roof of the keep, fighting her anger and disappointment.
Standing by the crenellations at the top of the keep she stared unseeingly across the tournament ground, where the fairground folk and others who were sleeping in the open had lit dozens of small fires. What could she do now, she was thinking.
If Piers regarded all her overtures as expressions of gratitude, or pleasure at the ending of the marriage, how could she convey to him she had at last understood her true feelings? Besides, what would he care for the fact she now loved him? He did not consider love and marriage had to exist together, and might feel her sudden change of heart could complicate his life even more than her hostility had. Certainly he would fear her jealousy and find it more difficult to conduct his liaison with Blanche.
Perhaps if she begged his forgiveness, and told him she would never question his actions, never upbraid him for keeping mistresses, even receive Blanche with every gesture of friendliness, he would permit her to stay. Could she do it, she suddenly wondered, and knew that however hard she tried it was not in her nature to pretend indifference where she loved. Eventually the chill night air sent her back indoors. She went down to the hall and searched, but her husband had vanished, and she did not care to enquire of anyone whether they knew of his whereabouts. After this fruitless search, and knowing that even if she did find him she would be given no further opportunity that evening of demonstrating her feelings, she went slowly up to the dormitory where several of the ladies had already retired.
*
Eva recalled little of the next two days. Sir Piers, while outwardly as courteous and attentive to her as ever in public, had withdrawn behind a mask. He permitted no private conversation, and took care when he danced with her to choose the stately, dignified dances that did not permit of close contact. Gilbert spent a great deal of time in her company, but she refused to meet him except in public and had not yet summoned up the courage to tell him that however her marriage with Sir Piers progressed she could never take him as a husband.
'The last day,' Blanche e
xclaimed as they went once more to the seats arranged at the side of the lists. 'I confess I am somewhat weary of all the noise and the endless contests. I shall be glad to get back home to the boys.'
Eva smiled faintly. What would happen to her when the tourney was over? Sir Piers had not yet discussed it with her and she did not know whether he proposed returning to Granfort or taking her home to Rudge Manor to live while he began the necessary proceedings. Could she make a final appeal to him when at last they were forced into being alone together? Could she, without revealing her love and thus frightening him away, say she did not wish to cause trouble and had changed her opinion of Gilbert, no longer wishing to marry him?
'It might serve,' she said to herself, hope surging once more.
'What did you say? I was not paying attention,' Blanche said apologetically, and as Eva murmured it had been nothing of importance Blanche smiled towards Lord John who was approaching.
'Good morning, ladies. I have declined to take part this morning, my bones are too old for all this energetic activity.'
Blanche laughed.
'You are not old, my Lord,' she said bracingly. 'The fact you have a few grey hairs does not make you Methuselah. If I thought you an ancient I would not entrust my sons to your care.'
'I will come to make their acquaintance as soon as possible,' he replied, and Eva glanced at them with sudden suspicion.
They were smiling at one another fondly, and then Blanche, as though suddenly recalled to the present, shook her head slightly and began to discuss the forthcoming events, which would culminate in another mock battle.
Eva watched with little interest. Piers was not taking part until the final event, and she had not seen him yet today. Nor could she discern him amongst the knights gathered about the pavilions at either end of the lists.
At last the final event began. Eva could see Sir Piers waiting at the head of the group to her left, almost totally covered with mail but recognisable by the Granfort crest painted on his helm. She knew that Gilbert was on the opposing side. She had refused to give Gilbert her favour again.
The Baron's Bride Page 12