by Luz Gabás
She opened her eyes. Beside her, Lialia offered her breast to Iniko, who greedily grabbed hold of it. Lialia had four children, the last one Iniko’s age, and breasts overflowing with milk. Bisila looked at her with affection. Thanks to Ekon’s wife, she had not had to give up her work in the hospital to look after her son, as had every other woman who was now enjoying the party and their men. Mosi leaned down, searching for her lips. Bisila mechanically responded to his kiss while her mind wandered to the room where, probably, Kilian was kissing Sade.
Each in their own place, she thought. Like yesterday, and like each and every other day before. She did not feel jealousy or anxiety or even a deep sadness, rather, the inner certainty that the past and the present would not conquer the future. Time did not exist. A century’s wait would be reduced to a second the moment Kilian was completely hers.
She was a reasonable woman and extremely patient. More than that. She had an unquenchable faith in destiny’s strange designs.
“What are you doing here?”
“Oba told me you have been back for weeks. Since you didn’t come to visit me, I came to you.”
Sade strode into Kilian’s room with determination. She threw a glance around the simple room, went over to the bed, and sat down. The narrow dress tightened even more against her thighs. She crossed her legs and rocked her foot in the air.
“Aren’t you happy to see me?”
Kilian closed the door and leaned against it with his arms folded across his chest.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
Sade patted the bed, and her voice took on a syrupy tone. “Come on, sit beside me.”
“I’m fine here, thanks,” Kilian said brusquely.
Sade twisted her lips. She got up and walked toward him. “Relax, Massa.” She stopped just a few centimeters from him, raised a hand, and slid a finger along his strong jaw. “We have to make up for lost time.”
She planted a soft kiss on his lips, which he received coldly. With the tip of her tongue, she began to draw along the outline of Kilian’s mouth, as she had done so many times before.
Kilian closed his eyes and clenched his fists. After such a long time, she knew perfectly well how to excite him. If this continued, he would end up giving in. He had not been with a woman for many months, and Sade was more than tempting. Any other man, including himself in other circumstances, would gladly accept her offer. He would throw her on the bed and absorb all her exuberant heat. But something had changed in him. In his mind and his heart, there was only room for one person. He gently put his hands on Sade’s shoulders and moved her away.
“I’m sorry, Sade. No.”
She scowled. “Why?”
“It’s over.”
“You’ve gotten tired of me.” Sade pursed her lips. After a few seconds, she said, “Now I understand. There’s someone else.”
“No, that’s not it.”
“You’re lying. You’re not like your brother. He likes all girls. If you don’t want to be with me now, it’s because someone, and only one, has stolen your heart. Tell me, do I know her?” Her tone was high-pitched. “What has she got that I haven’t?” She shook her head. “Maybe she’s Spanish … Have you made plans for the wedding yet?” She cackled. “When you get tired of her, you’ll come back to me, as they all do.”
Kilian became defensive. “As far as I know, I have shared you with other men. I don’t owe you anything.”
Sade’s chin began to tremble, and her breathing became agitated. “Just because I make my living as I do,” she said through her teeth, “doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. You’re like the rest of them!”
Kilian wiped his brow. Large drops of sweat dissolved in his fingers. He had known for a while that this unfortunate scene would happen. He had thought of offering Sade different excuses, hoping that she, used to dealing with many men, would just accept it. But she was right. Not for one moment had he thought about her feelings. He felt his mouth go dry. He went over to the basin and filled a glass of water. Sade remained close to the door, her head held high. She was beautiful, much more so than Bisila. But she was not Bisila.
During his stay in Pasolobino, Kilian sometimes remembered his encounters with Sade, but he had not missed her. Besides, he now felt he did not need her. A new and exhilarating feeling followed him everywhere. He did not care that Bisila was married to someone else or that being with her was impossible. Life had many twists. And he was prepared to wait as long as necessary. Meanwhile, he would not enjoy the company of any other woman. He could not turn Sade into his Regina as Dámaso had done; he could not have a lover for years to then abandon her.
“The best thing to do is to forget me, Sade,” he said. He lit a cigarette and blew out the smoke slowly. “Nothing will make me change my mind.”
“We’ll see about that,” she responded in a threatening tone as she left the room.
The open door framed a starry night. Kilian went out onto the balcony and leaned on the railing.
Below, Sade briskly walked toward a small open-topped SEAT 600 where one of the young waiters from the club was waiting for her. A few steps before reaching the car, she heard a voice.
“Kilian now lets you into his room?” asked Gregorio as he came over to her. “He must have really missed you.”
“There’s nobody here that interests me,” she responded haughtily.
Gregorio stroked his small mustache as he let his eyes wander over the woman’s body.
Sade tolerated his scrutiny as an idea crossed her mind. She raised her eyes toward the bedroom balcony and saw that Kilian was still watching.
“And you?” she asked in a forced honeyed tone. “Have you not gotten bored with Regina? I can’t believe she tends to all your needs.”
Gregorio arched his eyebrow. “And you could?”
Sade bit her bottom lip. “Come visit me, and we’ll see.”
Gustavo stayed in the hospital for several weeks. It was not until after Christmas that his wounds healed completely.
At the beginning of the new year, and after ten years of total opposition to independence, the Spanish administration surprisingly initiated some actions to promote it. With the intention of treating the Guineans as Spanish and avoiding discriminatory attitudes, the emancipation law that went back to the 1940s was repealed, which meant that, after complying with a series of requirements before the Council for Indigenous People—such as having reached the age of majority, holding some academic certificate, or working for a colonist—the blacks now had the same rights to purchase the same products as the whites, provided the emancipated person had the necessary means.
To the astonishment of Emilio and Generosa, Gustavo was elected to one of the Neighbor Councils of Santa Isabel, one of the 188 seats created in the whole country. Men like him and his brother Dimas began to lead lives similar to that of the Spaniards. They moved into small houses with gardens in front, where they parked their small cars every afternoon after work, and collected their children from school.
“And not only that, Julia,” protested Emilio as he bounced Ismael on his knee. “On top of that, they speak to me arrogantly. If their father could see them! Ah! The old Dimas really was a good man.”
“Of course … ,” said his daughter. “He never contradicted you.”
“Then each person knew their place, Daughter,” intervened Generosa as she cleared the plates from the table. “Not like now. With this obsession they now have of getting rid of our sensible laws, soon they’ll allow marriages between whites and blacks, just wait and see.”
“I don’t see why you find it strange.” Julia shrugged. “France and England have opened the way to emancipate their Equatorial and Western African territories. Why would Spain be any different?”
“Because, child, thanks be to God, we have a caudillo who has known how to maintain order for a long time both here and in Spain.” She sighed loudly. “If he had the same energy as before, I can assure you he wouldn’t let himself be dragge
d along in this.”
“Times change, Mom.”
“Yes, but I don’t know if it’s for the better, Julia,” added Emilio. He looked at his watch, got up, and set the child on a rug with several cardboard horses. “Anyway, give our good-byes to Manuel. It was unfortunate he had to leave.”
“We’ve had a lot of accidents. The laborers have been fighting. That’s what politics does to people.”
Generosa bent down to kiss her grandson before saying good-bye to her daughter. Julia followed them outside.
“Don’t you have to take Oba with you?”
“That girl!” Emilio rolled his eyes. “Since she has fallen in love with that big ox, the only thing she cares about is going to Sampaka. Lately, she’s been very absentminded in the store, forgetting customer orders … If she doesn’t change, we’ll have to look for someone else.”
“Yes, as if it was a good time to train another … ,” commented Generosa, fluffing out her hair with her hands.
Just then, Oba appeared with sparkling eyes and swollen lips.
“A little longer and you’d have walked back,” Emilio scoffed.
“I’m sorry, sir.”
“Come on, get into the car.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but I need to speak to the mistress for a moment.” She looked at Julia with imploring eyes.
Julia noticed her father’s annoyed look and promised him she would not take long.
Once inside the house, Julia asked her, “What’s so important?”
“It’s to do with …” Oba rubbed her hands nervously. “It’s my friend Sade. A few days ago, she admitted to me she was pregnant …”
“And … ?”
“Well, the father is one of the employees of this plantation, and when he found out, he did not want anything more to do with her. My friend is very sad and worried, and I thought that, well, since you know him, you might be able to help with the situation and—”
“Who is it?” Julia cut her off.
“Massa Kilian.”
“But …” Julia sat down and rubbed her forehead, surprised.
“They’ve been friends for a long time.”
“Well … I thought that”—Julia tried to be as polite as possible—“that your friend had many friends.”
“Yes, but she’s sure that he’s the father. She’s very upset, Mistress. I know how much she loved the massa and how worried she is now that he has abandoned her.”
“Oba!” Emilio’s voice came from outside. “We’re going now!”
Julia stood up, grabbed hold of Oba’s elbow, and went with her to the door while whispering in her ear, “Not a word to anyone. To anyone, you hear?”
Oba nodded.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
When everyone had left, Julia picked up Ismael and hugged him as hard as she could. And what laws exist for these cases? she thought. None. It was the word of a black woman of doubtful reputation against that of a white man. Sade’s word against Kilian’s. A fine pickle. Was it that difficult to take steps to stop this from happening? She found it difficult to believe what Oba had told her, but she found it even more difficult to consider the possibility, if it was true, that Kilian had opted for the most cowardly option. The truth was that he would not be the first or the last to do so. You only had to take a trip around the streets of Santa Isabel to get some idea. And what could she do? At most, talk to Kilian and hope that it was all a lie.
Manuel came into the sitting room, looking tired, and fell onto the sofa beside his wife and child.
“A little free time at last.” He bent down and kissed Ismael on the head, and Ismael put out his arms for Manuel to lift him up. He noticed that Julia seemed a little distracted. “Are you okay?”
She thought about whether she should share the news with her husband.
“You know, Julia, on days like today, I wonder what the hell we are doing here. I know they pay me well, but I’m beginning to get tired of the cuts, the quinine, the imaginary illnesses and snakebites …”
It was definitely not the best day to bring up Kilian.
“You’re exhausted. Once you can get away to the jungle, you’ll forget about it.”
Manuel smiled. “Kilian was just telling me the same thing!”
Julia bit her bottom lip. So Kilian was at the hospital once again.
Although, she thought, if Sade’s claim was true, that chigger would be the least he deserved.
In the infirmary, Bisila finished giving Kilian’s toes a very thorough examination.
“You don’t have any chiggers, Kilian.”
“No? Believe me, it’s very itchy.”
Bisila gave him a skeptical look. “Then we’ll wait a couple of days and see what happens.”
“Bisila, I …” Kilian leaned toward her. “I wanted to see you. Before, we used to bump into each other everywhere.” His voice became a whisper. “Don’t you like talking to me anymore? Have I said or done something to upset you?”
Bisila diverted her eyes to the window.
Someone knocked gently on the door and opened it without waiting for an answer. Julia entered and addressed Kilian directly.
“I need to speak with you … alone.” She turned to Bisila. “Have you finished?”
“Not quite,” Kilian responded rapidly. “But if what you have to tell me is so important, we can continue later, if that is all right with you, Bisila?”
Bisila nodded, picked up her implements, stood up, and walked to the small adjacent bathroom. When she had finished washing her hands, she clearly heard the voices of Julia and Kilian through the wall. Was she imagining it, or had they mentioned Sade’s name? She listened closer.
“Sade asserts,” Julia said, “that you are the father and when you found out about it, you decided to end it with her.”
Bisila held her breath.
“In the first place, Julia, I have just learned from you that Sade is pregnant.” Kilian’s voice was level. “And second, it’s impossible I could be the father.”
“Yes, I know she’s a … I mean, you’re not the only one …” She clicked her tongue, a little uncomfortable. “But she’s sure about it.”
“And what do you think, Julia? If you have come here so quickly to tell me, it’s because you have doubts.”
“Kilian, even I know that during all these years, you have only wanted to be with Sade. It’s reasonable that …”
“You should ask Gregorio. Or didn’t you know that she has become his favorite mininga in the last few months? Maybe both of them thought that this would make me jealous, but it hasn’t worked. Sade has made up this story out of spite.” A long silence followed. “Julia, I give you my word that the last time I was with Sade was before I went on vacation to Spain. When I came back, she came to see me one afternoon, and that was when I made it clear to her that … well … our friendship … was over. It’s impossible that I was the one to get her pregnant, and I will not put up with any blackmail. Is that clear?” His voice was hard.
“I’m sorry for having doubted you.” Julia lowered her voice. “I don’t know what to say. If Sade’s reasons are what you suspect, I don’t think she’ll miss the opportunity to defame you.”
“No one can say they have seen me with her in the last few months.” Kilian paused. “You know me better than anybody, Julia. Were you really able to believe, even for one second, that I would have shirked my responsibilities?”
Even through the wall, Bisila noted a tone of reproach in Kilian’s voice. Seconds passed, and Julia did not answer. She heard the door close. She waited a bit longer before returning to the infirmary.
Kilian’s face lit up when he saw her. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come back.”
“You asked me to wait.”
Bisila knew now that Kilian had not been with Sade for months, but she did not want to get her hopes up again. The possibility existed that he had exchanged her for another friend. Even so, the relief made Bisila as daring as the first nighttime shad
ows.
“And what do you do after work? You don’t have any woman to keep you company?”
“Of course I do,” Kilian responded forcefully. Bisila looked at him, surprised by the clear and swift response, and he, with a gleam in his eyes, stared back at her for a long moment before continuing in a hoarse voice, “I’m never alone. Not for one second in the day. For months, you’ve been the only one in my thoughts.”
When Bisila got to the entrance to the dryers, she saw her father, Simón, and Kilian, and a smile lit up her face. The secret shared between the two of them accompanied her at all hours. She held her breath. They would probably have to make do with their intense and fleeting private encounters while offering casual greetings in public for the rest of their lives. Unless the spirits had pity on them and changed the course of things. For the moment, she consoled herself, the day had begun well.
That morning, Simón was impatiently moving across the metal sheets where the cocoa formed an uneven carpet, making sure that everything was working properly.
“What has you so nervous, Simón?” asked Kilian, drying the sweat that was blinding him. It was terribly hot. “The beans won’t roast any quicker no matter how many times you go round them.”
“I don’t want any delays, Massa. I don’t want the big massa to force me to be here on Saturday.”
“And what’s happening on Saturday?”
“My father is going to become the new chief, or botuku, for the Bissappoo area.” Simón puffed out his chest.
“Wow, congratulations, Simón,” said a surprised Kilian. “I have before me the son of a chief.”
“Yes, a real chief,” Simón specified. “And not like yours, who tried to be one without earning it.”
José shot a severe glance at Simón. The young man liked Kilian, but he was also a Bubi who sought independence for the island, separate from the continent. He never missed an opportunity to criticize the white colonists. José shared many of his ideas, but was very careful not to offend Kilian.