by Jessica Roe
I turn my face away from his, unable to meet his unrelenting gaze any longer because I'm falling apart inside and I can't even express it. After everything he just said to me, after the way he just spilled his soul to me, I'm unable to even speak.
He swallows loudly, squeezing his eyes shut. When he presses his face into our clasped hands, I can feel the wetness from his tears against my skin. “Okay,” he murmurs, utterly broken. “Okay. But I had to tell you. I had to. . . Okay.”
For a moment he doesn't move, just hides his face in my hands. Then he stands abruptly and strides from the restaurant without a backwards glance.
I watch him go with my heart in my throat and more tears falling freely down my face than I ever thought I was capable of shedding. It isn't until I turn back to Oran a moment later that I realize Merry Fairburn's is deathly silent. Every single person in the building is watching me. Even Chef Reaman has stopped cooking to gape at all the drama through the swinging kitchen doors. Since the town is pretty small, I know most of these people and I don't doubt that this whole thing will have spread throughout Fortune like wildfire by morning.
Unable to speak, I gaze at Oran with my mouth parted. I can feel something pleading in my face, like I'm begging him to tell me what to do.
He just smiles softly at me, so freaking understanding, then tilts his head towards the door. “You should probably. . .”
“Yeah,” I choke out, nodding urgently “Yeah.” And then I'm scrambling out of my seat and running for the door.
Chapter 23
Nash
Is this what heartbreak feels like? This devastating, endless pit of despair consuming my entire being without any hope of freedom?
Because this? It fucking sucks.
It's. . .hell. It's the most painful, sadistic kind of torture in the deepest, darkest pit of hell. And the further I walk away from Merry Fairburn's, the less likely it seems that I'll ever be free of it.
I'd thought it had hurt when Bambi broke up with me. I'd thought that was heartbreak. I'd been wrong. That had been nothing, nothing compared to this.
I come to a sudden halt in the middle of the sidewalk, a hand swiping across my embarrassingly damp cheeks as my whole body stiffens. I'm standing in front of another restaurant and the people inside are checking me out curiously, but I don't give a shit about them because I'm coming to a realization.
And that realization is. . .
No.
No, I'm not going down this easily. Ivy rejects me one time and I just give up on her? I don't fucking think so. We belong together, I know that now with every fiber of my damned being and I'll hound her ass every day and every night for the rest of her existence if I have to, because she's the love of my life. I know I hurt her, and she deserves to be upset about that but she's just going to have to get over it because I won't give up on her. I won't give up on us.
Full of a renewed determination, I swivel on my heel, ready to go back in there and beg her for another chance on my hands and knees if I have to, but I freeze. Because Ivy is standing there, not five feet away from me, like every one of my damn dreams just came to life. Her face is flushed and there are little black makeup tracks on her cheeks from her tears and her hair is windswept from running after me; she's the most fucking beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
For a long minute we both just stand, unmoving as we stare anxiously at one another, our chests heaving.
Every inch of my body screams at me to go to her, to kiss her and love her and never let her go because. . .because she's here. I was a man trapped in the very bowels of hell, but with each passing second I rise from the depths and into the light because she's here. In front of me. But I remain still, because the last thing I want to do is frighten her away when we're so close to the edge of something. Something terrifying. Something incredible. If I make the wrong move right now I could lose this. Lose her. So I clench my fists and lock my muscles and wait.
“Promise me you won't change your mind!” she demands tearfully.
Every vow I just made to myself shatters at my feet. Unable to stop myself, I stride forwards and grasp her cheeks between my hands, holding on tight. So damned tight. “I won't,” I swear, my broken voice thick with emotion. “Not ever, Ivy. I love you so fucking much.”
Her small hands come up to rest over mine. “I'm not. . .I'm not great with words and talking about the emotional stuff, you know that.” She shakes her head as she tries to get what she wants to say sorted in her mind. Another tear slips free, so I catch it on her cheek with my thumb. “But I just want to kiss your stupid face all the time, and I want to spend forever with you because I know that these feelings I have for you, I'll never share them with anyone else. I wouldn't want to share them with anyone else.”
Heaven. That's the only thing this could be. Heaven.
The customers in the restaurant we've been standing in front of are now blatantly pressing their noses against the glass to watch us, and a little way away behind Ivy the people from Merry Fairburn's have all come outside to spy, including Eli and Ivy's date. The folks in this town are fucking hopeless.
But I don't give a rat's ass about any of them. Yanking Ivy's face to mine, I kiss her with everything I've been holding back for months, with everything I hadn't even realized I'd been holding back since I was seventeen years old. Her soft lips meld so easily against mine, so fucking perfectly, and she seems to care about our audience as much as I do because she fists her hands in the front of my t-shirt and tugs me closer. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pull her flush against me as our kiss grows heated. I walk her back, pressing her into the brick wall.
“Tell me you love me,” I demand against her mouth, not caring how desperate I sound. I don't have to care about things like that, not with Ivy, because I know she feels the need just as much as I do.
“I love you, Nash,” she murmurs immediately, pliant and wanting in my arms. “I love you so much, you big dummy.”
We're laughing then, laughing and kissing and crying and trying to get as much of each other as we can while still being semi-decent in front of our nosy fucking audience.
And I'm. . .God, I'm just so happy. So unbelievably fucking happy. I hadn't even know happiness like this existed. I mean, I haven't had a hard life and growing up I was always happy, but this, this is a different kind. I have never known a happiness like this before, not this all encompassing, unadulterated, pure and honest joy.
“Oh God,” Ivy suddenly murmurs, pulling back and scrunching up her face.
“What?” I want to know, my eyes widening as nerves shoot through me. She isn't having second thought already, is she?
“You do realize,” she says slowly, a wry smile turning up her lips. “that our moms are going to pitch a fit when they find out about us, right?”
Epilogue
Ivy
6 Months Later
Blair shakes her head as she she looks at her surroundings, the curls that have escaped her ponytail bouncing prettily around her face. “This is so over the top.”
“You only turn twenty one once,” I tease, grinning at her obvious discomfort.
We've had an unseasonably warm October this year, and we've made the most of it by throwing Blair's twenty first birthday party in Fortune Park. Originally we were just going to do it in Oli and Felicia's back garden, but the thing got kind of out of hand and so many people wanted to show up that we had to find a bigger venue. It's a pretty fancy shindig – there's a Gazebo and food and I swear half the town are here. By the willow tree, a small stage has been set up and a band from the local high school are playing. They're not half bad for a bunch of teenagers. Blair isn't a big fan of fuss, so watching her be the center of attention is extremely amusing.
She glances down at her white shirt dress, pulled together with a black belt around her waist. “I feel under dressed.”
“You look beautiful,” I assure her truthfully.
“Have you seen Silver?” she asks.
“Not for a while.”
“He's being such a weirdo today. I tried to put my phone in his pocket earlier and he squealed like a girl and ran off.”
I press my lips into a thin line, resisting the urge to laugh.
“Blair!” an eager voice shouts, and a pair of arms suddenly sweep her up and spin her around in a warm hug.
“Kip!” she exclaims happily. “What are you doing here?”
“You kidding? As if I was going to miss this!”
She quirks an eyebrow. “It's just a birthday. I don't know why everyone's so worked up about it, I've had twenty others just like it.”
The guy, Kip, catches my eye over her shoulder. I give him some wide shut the heck up eyes and mime zipping my lips.
“Sadie and Rafe are around here somewhere too,” he chirps, abruptly changing the subject. “They're with Ibbs, I think. Come on, let's go find them.”
Blair laughs and waves to me as he drags her away.
Calin passes by me with her husband as they make their way towards the food. She smiles at me, miming for me to call her later. Recently we started stocking some of my clothes in her boutique and the sale numbers so far have been so much better than we could have imagined.
“This dress,” someone suddenly murmurs in a gravely low voice in my ear as they sidle up behind me, sliding their hands around my waist. “is absolutely phenomenal. It does things to your ass that make me wanna throw you over my shoulder and take you home right the fucking hell now. And did I ever tell you that green was my favorite color?”
I spin in Nash's arms, reaching up on my tiptoes to kiss him because it's been hours since I last saw him and I need some lip action. Intending to make it a quick one – because our moms are around and they full on swoon (in a disgustingly smug way) every time they see us kiss – I go to pull away, but he refuses to let me go and it quickly turns passionate.
“Get a room!” Nathan hollers across the party, and Nash breaks free so he can give him the finger.
Nathan stands by one of the gazebo poles, flirting with a blonde who is most definitely not the short brunette he sidled away with earlier. It makes me sigh sadly, because after all these years he's still so broken over Ophelia. All of the women in the world won't heal him from that.
Nash starts to chuckle at something to our left, and I gladly take the distraction, watching as Zac ambles through the party with four month old Henry wrapped up in his arms, a gaggle of single woman following behind him. It almost didn't even come as a surprise when Hailee bailed on Zac and Henry a month after giving birth, but Zac has taken to fatherhood so easily and gracefully and has proven that he sure as heck doesn't need her. There've been plenty of girls chasing after him already, all half in love with him and just gagging to be his next baby momma. Apparently there's nothing sexier than a single father.
The party quietens down around us as the band takes a break, and a nervous looking Silver steps up on stage. He looks paler than I've ever seen him, his hands visibly shaking. Nash slips an arm around my waist and squeezes as Silver swallows hard and takes the mic.
“For fuck's sake,” Nash murmurs bemusedly in my ear. “Have you seen my mom?”
Felicia is standing to one side, emotional tears streaming down her blotchy face. She tries to dab them with a handkerchief but there's really no use at this point. “Be nice, she's just happy.”
“She's gonna give the game away. Silver shouldn't have said anything to her.”
“Well, he had to ask your dad. . .”
I trail off as the sound of Silver clearing his throat washes over us. “Hey,” he begins nervously. “I'm. . . Hold on a sec. Blair, babe? Where are you?” He searches the faces in the crowd before him until he spots her. She stands in the middle of them, staring up at him in wide eyed confusion. “Come up here, would you?”
Uncharacteristically shy, she shakes her head back and forth and mouths no way.
His confidence rises a notch, and he grins down at her. “Get up here, baby. Someone make her.”
Ibbie and Kip each take one of her arms and practically force her over to the stage. She pulls a face at Silver as she climbs the three steps up to join him, but she's fighting a smile as she takes the hand he stretches out to her.
He raises the mic to his lips again, but this time he's only looking into Blair's eyes as he speaks. “So it was exactly this day three years ago that I realized I was in love with Blair.”
Nash grunts at that.
“I mean, I'm pretty sure I'd loved her from the very first time she made me eat apology pie and forced me to buy milkshake just so she could drink it, but it wasn't until this day, three years ago, that I knew that I was helplessly, unconditionally gone on her, and I've been lost ever since – even if she does drive me crazier than anyone I have ever met.”
The audience titters at that, and Felicia full on sobs with joy. I love her and all, but man, she needs to take a chill pill.
Blair rolls her eyes. “Yeah, 'cause I'm the annoying one in this relationship.”
“Are you really arguing with me on stage right now?”
She grins deviously. “Guess so.”
“You're so-”
“Annoying?”
He huffs with exasperation. “Will you just let me do this?”
“Do what?”
“Propose, dumb ass!”
Everyone who'd been quietly laughing at the pair of them suddenly falls silent as a hush falls over the park. It seems like even the freaking birds have stopped twittering. You could hear a pin drop out here.
I have to smile, because that proposal, it was just so unbelievably them.
“Oh,” Blair breathes, her lips parting as the fight suddenly leaves her. Despite the big party and Silver's nervous behavior all day and Felicia's emotions running sky high and the fact that almost everyone else seems to know about it, she hadn't suspected a thing.
“Yeah, oh.” Silver's nerves are back in full force, probably because Blair's face is so unreadable now. The rest of us watch on with bated breath.
A beautiful smile slowly makes its way onto her face. “Then I guess you'd better get down on one knee.”
He blinks. “What, now? But I had a speech planned out and everything. I was going to tell you how much I love you and about how meeting you brought me to life for the first time and how I never want to live without you ever again.”
Even from here I can see the tears glistening in Blair's eyes. “You just did,” she utters sweetly.
Silver grins adoringly at her for a moment, his own eyes shining with emotion, then he drops down to one knee without another word. He fishes the ring from his jacket pocket. I can't see it from here, but I know it's the same one he picked out all those months ago. “Marry me?” he begs playfully, his confidence returned now that he's sure she'll say yes. I don't know why he ever doubted she would, to be honest. “Please-”
“Yes.” She grins, bending down to kiss him. “Yes yes yes, you big nerd.”
The ring goes on her finger, and then laughing joyfully, he stands and sweeps her into his arms. He spins her in a circle, kissing the holy hell out of her right here in front of everyone. It might just be the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
The crowd around us clap and whistle. There are plenty of people dabbing at their eyes, even from those who don't know Silver and Blair all that well and just showed up because they heard about the free food. But I get it, because being a part of somebody's proposal, it's an epic feeling. It makes you a part of their history, of their story. It feels beautiful, and it's making me pretty freaking emotional myself.
Nash grins down at me, so incredibly happy for the pair of them despite his earlier misgivings. “One day?” he suggests playfully, waggling his eyebrows up and down.
My returning smile is uncontrollable, and my heart thuds against my ribs at the implication. “Sure,” I tell him contentedly, wrapping my arms around his waist. “But let's not rush it, big guy.”
He chuc
kles, bending down to kiss me soundly. “Fine, but we're getting a puppy.”
“Deal.”
“I love you so much, baby,” he murmurs, pressing his forehead against mine.
Falling for him, for my best friend. . .it was the best thing that I ever did. Nothing has ever felt as wonderful as this. “I love you too.”
My cell dings. I pull back reluctantly to check the email.
“Who's that?” he asks. “Tell them to get lost 'cause you're busy making out with your sexy boyfriend.”
All the air whooshes out of my lungs as I read the email, and then I read it again to make sure that my eyes aren't deceiving me. “It's from Ophelia.” I glance up at him. “Her mom is really sick.”
“Which means?”
“It means. . .Ophelia is coming home.”
Across the park, the blonde with Nathan giggles loudly as he leads her away from the party, his hand firmly cupping her ass.
Nash sighs, slipping his arm around my waist and pulling me in tight against his side. “This is the calm before the storm then.” He kisses my nose, and then my lips, smiling against my mouth. “Guess we'd better enjoy it while it lasts.”
Track List
Stupid Thing by Nickel
Fancy by Iggy Azalea
Lie A Little Better by Lucy Hale
Simplethings by Miguel
Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran
I'm A Mess by Ed Sheeran
Wicked Game by Gemma Hayes
Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran
About You Now (Slow Version) by Sugababes
Find Love by Stepdad
Wonder by Lauren Aquilina
Shake It Off by Taylor Swift
Thank you all so much for reading Falling For Him. If you enjoyed reading about Nash and Ivy even half as much as I enjoyed writing about them, then I'm a happy little author.
For more information about any of my books or if you have any questions, come find me at: