by Rex Stout
"I'll remember. What color roses do you like?"
"Green with black borders. If you sent me ten dozen roses I'd sell them to some customer. I'm a businesswoman."
She certainly was.
13
When Wolfe came down from the plant rooms at six o'clock, I was sprawled in my chair, no necktie, with my shoes off and my feet up on one of the yellow chairs, reading a magazine. As he crossed to his desk I gave him a lazy nod, yawned, and returned to the magazine. The sound came of his chair taking the seventh of a ton. I didn't see his glare because my back was turned, but I felt it. He demanded, "A stroke? The heat?"
I turned my head around casually. "No, sir, I'm fine. I'm just relaxing. Saul phoned a few minutes ago and I invited him to dinner. The job is finished. Floyd Vance is Miss Denovo's father. I was going to ring her and tell her, but maybe you'd rather tell her yourself."
"Pfui. Report."
I got my feet to the floor, no hurry, straightened up, and bent over to put my shoes on. When I am doing desk work the door to the hall and most of the room are behind me, and on the wall back of my desk is a mirror five feet wide and four feet high, for keeping an eye on people. I used it to put my tie on, combed my hair with my fingers, swiveled, and said, "I don't suppose you'll ever want the painful details of what led up to it, but if you do I'll be glad to oblige. An hour and a half ago a woman named Dorothy Sebor who runs, repeat runs, a shopping service in Rockefeller Center, said to me, 'But what can I possibly tell you about Ten East Thirty-ninth Street? I left there eighteen years ago. I loved that dump. Sit down.' If you don't mind I'll use my formula, not yours. I prefer T and 'she' to 'Goodwin' and 'Sebor.' "
I gave it to him verbatim, with him, as always, leaning
back with his eyes closed. When I finished he sat for a full minute, no movement, and then moved only his lips to mutter, "Very satisfactory."
"It was about time," I said with feeling. "Questions."
His eyes opened. "Why roses?"
I nodded. "I expected that. It came out without thinking, probably because she had struck me as not the type for orchids. She could probably get a lot more for Nero Wolfe orchids than for run-of-the-nursery roses."
"We'll send her some sprays of Phalaenopsis Aphrodite. They have never been finer. Having had time to consider it, you regard the job as finished?"
"I was just smacking my lips after so many hungry days. One will get you fifty that Floyd Vance is the father, but I admit it wouldn't be enough for a jury. It might be enough for the client, but I also admit there are other angles."
"Specify them."
"Well. The angle most important to us is your honor. Four days ago I said to Cramer, 'I am authorized to give you Mr. Wolfe's word of honor that if we get anything you might be able to use we'll pass it on to you before we make any use of it ourselves.' I added, 'At least two minutes before,' but that didn't cancel the commitment. We now have these items: One: Carlotta Vaughn became pregnant in the summer of nineteen forty-four and almost certainly wasn't married. Two: she spent the entire summer of nineteen forty-four in close association with Floyd Vance. Three: on Monday, May twenty-second, nineteen sixty-seven, four days before Carlotta Vaughn, who was then Elinor Denovo, died, Floyd Vance tried to see her and was chased by the receptionist, and he had been trying to see her before. I'd hate to undertake to tell Cramer that those three items, taken together, are not something he might be able to use. Of course your honor is your lookout, but I mortgaged it."
He grunted. "My lookout and my responsibility. Go on." "Then the angle that may interest me more than it does you. My honor isn't involved, but my feelings are, because I got my ass kicked twice by Cyrus M. Jarrett and I would like to return the compliment. What kind of a connection was there, and is there, between Jarrett
and Vance that caused Jarrett to start sending checks to Carlotta Vaughn, alias Elinor Denovo, two weeks after her baby was born and to keep on sending them until her death? That could be another item that Cramer might be able to use, but that's not why / want to know. Also, of course, Miss Denovo would like to know. I believe in satisfying the client. I also believe in satisfying me. All right, I withdraw my brag; the job is not finished. It's your move."
I expected him to start the lip act, but he merely cocked his head. "The point," he said, "is that we don't know which of two alternative situations faces us. If he is the father but not a murderer, establishing it will be dim- cult if not impossible. He did that many years ago. But if ‹he is also a murderer the situation is much simpler; he did :, that only three months ago. We'll resolve that and then decide how to proceed. Can you get him here this evening?"
"For what? Do I ask him if he still wants to meet you?"
"That would do to start. If he says no, tell him I want to meet him. Tell him I want to ask him why he didn't reply to the advertisement requesting information about Carlotta Vaughn, alias Elinor Denovo."
I had noted the listing of Vance's home phone, but got the directory to check on the number, and found that my memory had it right. It was a quarter to seven when I dialed, and if he ate out I would probably get no answer. But after two rings I got a hello.
"Mr. Floyd Vance, please?"
"I'm Floyd Vance."
"I'm Archie Goodwin. I work for Nero Wolfe. You may remember that we met at Lily Rowan's place, and you-"
"I remember."
"And you said you would like to meet Nero Wolfe to make a proposal. I reminded Mr. Wolfe of that just now when we were discussing something, and he decided he would also like to meet you. Could you come this evening, say at nine o'clock?"
Silence. Five seconds. "This is short notice."
"I know. It's not as urgent as a five-alarm fire, but if it's not too inconvenient… the address is-"
"I know the address." Silence. "You say nine o'clock?"
"Right. Or later if that would suit you better." "Don't be so goddam polite. I'll be there around nine." As I hung up, the doorbell rang, and I went, expecting Saul, and it was. I opened the door only a couple of inches and said through the crack, "You may not want to come in. No champagne. There are angles."
It was my fault. When Saul had phoned I had just got home, so pleased with myself and wanting to spread joy around that I had not only invited him to dinner but had also told him I would have a bottle of Dom Perignon ready to open. Then the angles had made it obvious that putting champagne in the refrigerator would be premature and I hadn't gone to the kitchen. Not that Saul needed any explanations or apologies; that long dry spell had got on his nerves too.
Anyway, along with the clams and broiled turtle steaks he drank more than half of a bottle of Montrachet, so all he missed was bubbles.
With coffee, in the office after dinner, we settled the program. When Vance arrived Saul would go to the front room, and as soon as the guest was in the office and seated he would leave, to go to 490 Lexington Avenue and collect likely objects for fingerprints. Since he had seen the lock he knew which keys to take from the assortments in the cabinet, and after he made his selections he helped me prepare the props in the office. We did a thorough wiping job on twelve objects: the stand by the red leather chair, two ash trays-one on the stand and one on the corner of Wolfe's desk-two photographs of Elinor Denovo in a drawer of Wolfe's desk, four glasses of different kinds, since we didn't know what he would drink, two books of matches-one on the stand and one on Wolfe's desk-and every inch of the red leather chair. Now and then I took a second for a glance at Wolfe, for comic relief. He sat with his fingers laced at the summit of his center mound, scowling at us. He knew darned well that what we were doing was a lot more important than anything he could possibly be thinking, and it hurt. He would have loved to take the position, and hold it, that he could solve any problem on earth or in outer space by leaning back and closing his eyes and working his lips. The trouble was that the little chores Saul and I did for
him were nearly always done somewhere else, but that time it was going on right there
in his office, before his eyes. I was surprised that he didn't get up and go to the kitchen.
Amy's father rang the doorbell at ten after nine. As I went to admit him Saul headed for the connecting door to the front room, and as I took him to the office and to the red leather chair I did something that I had done many times although I had learned long ago that it was absolutely useless. For a spectator in a courtroom to try to decide from a man's looks if he's guilty or not is natural and he has to pass the time somehow, but for a working detective it's pure crap. So I did it again. I looked at Vance's purled eyes, flabby cheeks, thin hair, saggy shoulders, down to his brown shoes that needed a shine, actually hoping to get a slant on the question, Did he kill Elinor Denovo? Nuts.
By the time I got to nuts Wolfe was saying, "… not that I scorn all trite expressions; some of the finest words and phrases in the language were once vulgarisms and are well worn. But a faddish cliche like 'image' as now abused is an abomination. You told Mr. Goodwin that my 'public image' needs expert handling and you would like to meet me. If you have some proposal to make I'll listen as a matter of courtesy, but don't call my repute my image."
"To hell with your courtesy. Shove it." Vance's voice was not as I remembered it. I had thought he was a fairly smooth talker that Sunday, but now the words came out blurry. He went on, "I've learned something about you since I talked with Goodwin. You don't give a damn about your public image. Did you get me here just to tell me you don't like cliches? Do I go home now?"
Wolfe nodded. "That's your question, why I got you here. My question is, Why did you come? I doubt if either of us expects a candid answer. In fact, Mr. Vance, I'm in some confusion about my objective. One possibility is that I would like to know why you prevailed on your friends to drive you to Miss Rowan's so you could meet Mr. Goodwin. Another possibility is that I would like to know why you made several attempts to see Mrs. Elinor Denovo last May. Still another is that I want to
ask you about your association with Miss Carlotta Vaughn in the summer of nineteen forty-four. And again, another is that I wondered why you didn't reply to an advertisement which appeared-"
"Jesus. Give me a pad and pencil. I'll have to make notes."
We hadn't wiped a pad. You can't think of everything. I got one from a drawer, and a pencil, and went with them, and he took them, probably because he was uncertain what to do with his tongue and so was glad to have something to do with his hands.
"As you see," Wolfe said, "I have-since you fancy cliches-an embarrassment of riches." His head tilted; I hadn't sat. "Beer, please, Archie?"
"Yes, sir." I took a step and stopped. "Something wet, Mr. Vance?"
He shook his head and said emphatically, "No." I started out, foiled because a glass or bottle is a "best bet, and as I neared the door Ms voice stopped me. "What the hell. Scotch and water. And ice."
Fritz, having been told that he wouldn't be needed, had gone out. In the kitchen I put Wolfe's beer and glass on a tray, and on another tray a wiped glass, a bowl which I wiped before putting icecubes in it, a pitcher which I wiped before putting water in it, and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black which I also wiped. That took a while and made me miss something. When I got to the office with the trays Vance had used his hands some more and had a cigar lit, so I didn't know if he carried them loose or in a case, or if he had used the matches on the stand. The cigar was a long panatela, nothing like a Gold Label Bonita, but that didn't bother me; if he had left that case in the hit-and-run car it would have been common prudence to switch. After serving the trays I went back to the kitchen for a glass of milk and when I returned to the office Vance had Ms glass in his hand and Wolfe was talking.
"… for I have no intention or desire to make any demand or indictment, and I don't think my client has either. I want only what I have been hired to get, information. I can't name my client, but if my questions reveal her identity to you, that in itself would answer my basic
question. The advertisement plainly implied that the woman once known as Carlotta Vaughn was later known as Elinor Denevo, but if you prefer to tell me nothing about Elinor Denovo we'll restrict it to Carlotta Vaughn. By the way…"
He opened a drawer and took out the two photographs. I had cautioned him not to handle them in a way that would make it obvious that he was taking care not to leave prints-the Police Department files already had samples of his-and he did all right, perfectly normal as he handed them to me and I passed them on to Vance.
"She was Elinor Denovo when those were taken," Wolfe said, "but had been Carlotta Vaughn only a year or two previously, so you should recognize her."
Vance handled them normally too. He had put his glass down, and with one in each hand he gave them a look, first the three-quarters face and then the profile. He looked at Wolfe. "So what? Sure I recognize her." He put the photographs on the stand. "I'm not denying that I once knew a woman named Carlotta Vaughn." He picked up his glass and drank.
"When and where did you first meet her?"
"In the spring of nineteen forty-four." He was no longer blurring his words; apparently a few swallows of Scotch with very little water had helped. "I think it was late March. My God, it was twenty-three years ago."
"Where?" Wolfe had opened his bottle but hadn't poured.
"I don't remember. I suppose some party. I was under thirty and I got around."
"And you hired her?"
"Well… yes."
"You paid her a salary?"
Vance took a swallow. "Look," he said, "I'm not going to toot my horn. As I said, I was under thirty, and girls were no problem. They seemed to like my style. This Carlotta Vaughn got it hard. I wasn't setting any rivers on fire in my business and she knew it-what the hell, everybody knew it-and she wanted to help, and she was smart. So I let her help. No, I didn't pay her."
"How long did she continue to help?"
"Oh, all summer. Into fall. Six months, perhaps seven."
"Why did she stop?"
"I didn't ask her. She just stopped."
"I think you can improve on that, Mr. Vance. Didn't she stop because she was pregnant?"
Vance tapped ashes from the cigar into the ash tray, put it between his lips and found it was out, took the book of matches from the stand and lit it, and blew smoke. He looked at Wolfe, opened his mouth and shut it, reached for the bottle and poured Scotch, picked up the glass, took a swig, and looked at Wolfe again.
"Yes," he said. "She was storked. So she said. It didn't show."
"So you had impregnated her."
"The hell I had."
"Certainly." '
"For God's sake. She was a nymph. She was a goddam tart. She didn't know herself who knocked her up. She admitted it. To me."
That showed, if we had needed showing, how impossible it would be to tag him as the father. There were three people-Raymond Thome, Bertram McCray, and Dorothy Sebor-who would contradict him on Carlotta Vaughn's morals and habits, and we could probably get more, but that would just be a squabble. However, he had a wide-open flank. What would he or could he say to the question, why did Cyrus M. Jarrett send her a thousand dollars a month as long as she lived? I decided he could say, and almost certainly would say, search me. Wolfe was probably making the same decision. He had poured beer and was watching the bead go down; of course he could merely have been thinking that Vance had used a cliche that was still a vulgarism. He turned his head to me and asked, "Is there any point in persisting?"
Meaning, have we got enough fingerprints?
"No," I said. Meaning yes.
He looked at his glass. The foam was down to the right level, exactly. He pushed his chair back, rose, and walked out. As he disappeared in the hall I told myself, for the twentieth time, that the furniture should be rearranged, so he wouldn't have to detour around the red leather chair when there was someone in it. An exit like that should be a beeline so you can stride.
I told Vance, "Serves you right. You used another cliche."
"Isn't he coming back?
"
"Sure, after you've gone."
"What the hell, you could have asked me on the phone, any time, if I knocked her up and I would have told you."
"Yeah, I tried to tell him that. He thought that question was too personal for the phone. Also he likes to do things the hard way, and he likes to hear himself talk."
He looked at his glass, saw that there was a couple of fingers in it, picked it up, and drained it. "I thought he was going to…" He let it hang, and started over. "He said he would like to know why I tried to see that Elinor Denovo. What the hell, I wanted that account, Raymond Thome Productions. I didn't know she was Caflotta Vaughn. The first I heard of that was that ad in the paper."
"You don't hear an ad in the paper. You hear an ad on the radio. You see an ad in the paper. On television you both hear it and see it. It's getting very complicated, and before we know it we'll-"
"Balls. I've heard enough of you. You're a pair of goddam loudmouths." It wasn't as easy as falling off a log to rise from that chair, and four of his fingertips pressed against the leather arm as he used leverage. When he was erect he told me to go do something, still another vulgar cliche, and I moved to get to the hall ahead of him; he might turn left instead of right, and Wolfe was in the kitchen. I didn't go to the front to open the door for him. Not because he was a liar; it just didn't seem to be called for.
When the door had shut behind him, with a bang, I went and opened the kitchen door enough to call through, "Company's gone!" and then to the stairs down to the basement storeroom for empty cartons and tissue paper and twine.
When I got back up to the office, loaded, Wolfe was standing at the end of his desk, frowning around at everything in sight. I put the cartons down on the couch and the paper and twine on my desk, and said, "I wouldn't trade images with that specimen, public or private. I
have never felt so sorry for a client. If she had known what she was going to get for her twenty grand…"