by Janice Lynn
For Jill’s time, the show had presented a matching check. She’d tried to refuse, but JP hadn’t budged. She’d earned the check. She’d tried not to flinch at his words. Rob might have had a different perspective on what she’d earned and how she’d done so.
Rob. Her heart squeezed. She missed him so much. Although JP had begged her to reconsider, she hadn’t seen Rob since she’d left him in the stairwell.
Well, that wasn’t completely true.
Foolish as it was, she’d watched the episodes Jessie had taped of JANE MILLIONAIRE over and over, just so she could see him. Last week along with the rest of America, she’d watched the grand finale where she’d made her choice. She’d cried when the camera had flashed to Rob prior to her making her choice and immediately after. He’d been tense, then relieved. Why had that footage been included? Even at the end of the episode when Jeff had opted to take the trip with the real princess, she was still puzzling over why Rob’s reaction had been shown.
Not that it mattered. He’d proven how little he cared. He’d been willing to let her go with Jeff. Would he have encouraged her to sleep with him to improve ratings as well?
And he’d had the gall to accuse her of sleeping with him to help her career. He was the one who put his precious Hollywood career above everything else, because in her heart she knew he had cared for her, despite what he’d said. In the long run, it hadn’t mattered. His career meant more to him than she ever could.
“You want me to do this?” Dan asked when he’d finished filling in the speeding ticket. Jill blinked. She’d totally phased out. Again.
She shook her head, hating that she couldn’t seem to keep her mind on her job and off Rob.
“I’ll do it.” She grabbed the clipboard and the man’s belongings, scribbled her name on the magazine, and climbed out of the car.
Surely with time, this craze would pass?
# # #
“Ratings were over the rooftops,” JP bragged as he leaned back in his plane seat.
Rob shifted his gaze from his laptop where he worked on polishing GAMBLER for his meeting next week with a WOLF executive to JP’s smug expression.
“Yeah, I saw the email with the numbers this morning. Looks like we’ll both be working for WOLF next season.”
“It’ll be a nice change of pace after JANE.”
Jane.
“Yep.”
“Are you going to look her up after we land?”
Rob’s forehead pulled into a tight vee above the bridge of his nose. “Why would I do that?”
“Because you should have taken her in your arms and told her to choose you rather than one of the bachelors. If you had, you’d have just spent a week in paradise with her rather than filming Kensington and Isabella.”
“You aren’t serious?” Rob gawked at his friend. “I stayed away from Jill so she could choose one of the bachelors. I worked hard to insure the show would be a success.”
“America wanted her to fall in love and be swept off her feet.”
“She didn’t want Kensington.”
“No,” JP agreed. “She wanted you.”
Rob swallowed.
“And you were a fool to let her go. You should have been the one down on your knees, not Kensington. A smart man would have proposed to a woman like Jane right then and there.”
Rob snorted. “This coming from a man who’s had six wives.”
“Soon to be seven.” JP grinned. “Just as soon as I meet her.”
Rob rolled his eyes. “I’ve learned my lesson on that score.”
“No, you didn’t.”
Rob’s brow lifted as he met JP’s intense gaze.
“Mandy burned you, and you shut down. You’ve not let another woman close since as far as I know. Not until Jane.”
“I didn’t—” Rob glanced at his laptop screen, but saw nothing but blurred lines.
“Don’t try to lie to me. I know everything. Even if the cameras hadn’t caught her conversation with her sister in the hallway, I already had a pretty clear picture of what was going on between the two of you. You think I don’t know you went to her room the night before her decision?”
“That was just sex.”
“Sure it was.” JP laughed.
Rob scowled.
“It was. She means nothing to me.” Not meeting JP’s gaze, he saved his work and slammed down his computer top.
“That’s why you’ve been in a piss poor mood from the moment I told you she’d taken your advice and left.”
With stilted movements he pulled out his attaché case and slid the laptop inside. “There was no reason for her to stay since she didn’t choose one of the bachelors.”
This time JP rolled his eyes. “Not if you don’t include the fact that she loves you. Although why, I’ve yet to figure out.”
“She only pretended to care about me,” Rob insisted. Her words in the stairwell had haunted him day and night. Only the knowledge that she’d faked everything from the moment they met had kept him sane.
“Really? Why would she do that?” JP asked the question Rob had asked himself a thousand times.
Rob pushed the case under the seat in front of him and straightened. “So I would help her career.”
JP appeared to consider his answer. “Possibly, but I doubt it. You know she gave the money to the Police fund for wives and children of officers killed in the line of duty.”
“I heard that. Great publicity stunt.” He settled back into his first class seat, hoping JP would take the hint and drop the subject. He did not want to talk about Jill. Nor did he want to think about her, but his mind had yet to take note. How long would it take before she quit monopolizing his thoughts?
“She’s refused to be interviewed, although I know for a fact she’s had offers from everyone from Oprah to Leno.”
“So?” Rob shrugged as if JP’s words were falling on indifferent ears. Unfortunately, they weren’t.
“Sounds a bit odd that someone seeking fame and fortune would turn down all opportunities to ride the media wave just so she could return to her former job as a cop.”
JP said what had been nagging at Rob’s psyche for the past week. From the moment Leno’s people had called trying to arrange an interview with Jill and he’d learned she’d already refused their offer, he’d wondered why. If she had really slept with him to further her career, why would she refuse free publicity now? He’d heard through the rumor mill several of his colleagues had actually offered her big screen female leads that she’d point blank refused, stating she was a police officer at heart, not an actress.
But he’d refused to delve into the meanings of Jill’s actions. He’d thrown himself into finishing the show. Not an easy thing to do when the couple being filmed were sickeningly in love.
Had he been wrong? And if he had, the thought of what he could have had, what they could have had together, threatened to destroy his ability to breath.
She’d claimed to love him. Had she?
JP seemed to think so. And he trusted JP.
Memory of hearing Jill tell her sister that she’d slept with him to further her career rang in his ears. With the clarity of hindsight, he knew she’d been joking.
Why hadn’t he realized it then? Why hadn’t he been willing to risk his heart, everything he was, to do as JP suggested and to have interfered when she’d sat on her throne facing the four remaining bachelors? He should have resigned from the show and asked her to choose him. Begged her to choose him.
His pulse picked up speed as he remembered the hurt look of resignation as she’d asked him not to throw away what they’d had, that she could forgive him for allowing her to choose another man. And he’d told her to leave.
Could she forgive him a second time?
He had to find her, prove to her he regretted his foolishness. It would take more than mere words of love for him to win Jill’s heart back. But how could he convince her he wanted her in his life? That without her, he had nothing but an empty h
ouse and a lonely existence?
He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted Jill. Was it too late? Would she forgive him for being scared to risk his heart?
She had too.
# # #
A very frustrated Jill sank onto her sofa to curl up with a bowl of popcorn and a soda to watch the final episode of JANE MILLIONAIRE. She’d considered skipping the show completely, but couldn’t bring her self to.
Not that Jessie would have let her anyway.
Her sister insisted she had to watch to see how it all ended. Reluctantly, Jill had given in to her sister’s wishes; too tired to argue when Jessie had been full of determination that she couldn’t miss this show.
Today hadn’t gone well. Chief had pulled her into his office and informed her that he had assigned her to a desk for the next month. A month. She wanted to be out in the field where the action was, not stuck inside four walls where the only action she’d see was that of a computer screen.
But he’d argued the force didn’t have the manpower to leave her out in the field with all the intentional ‘crimes’ taking place in hopes Jill would be the arresting officer. Since she hadn’t willingly provided additional fodder, the media were having a field day with the crime wave that had hit San Padres during the past two weeks.
Her choice had been to sit at a desk or go home on leave.
She bit into a kernel of popcorn and chewed the buttery morsel in frustration.
“Things will calm down in a few weeks, and you’ll be able to go back to work,” Jessie, with a bowl of her own, reassured as she plopped onto the other end of the sofa.
“My life will never be the same again.”
“If you really believe that, why don’t you start accepting some of the offers you’re receiving? My gracious, Jilly, you’re the envy of every woman in America right now.”
Jill rolled her eyes. “I think you’re mistaken. I didn’t end up with a man. The real princess did.”
“Maybe you should have stuck around and fought for Rob.”
“And maybe you’re forgetting that I went after him and he told me to leave.”
“And you believe that’s what he really wanted?”
Jill sighed. “Yeah, I know that’s what he wanted. Courtesy of his ex-wife, Rob has a wall around his heart that he’s not going to let me or any other woman through. Besides he hates lots of press attention, and I’m a darn media magnet. He’d rather walk across hot coals as to take this hellish ride with me.”
And she’d wondered a few times if knowledge of what she’d be going home to had played a role in his pushing her away? He truly shied away from publicity except in regards to his productions. A relationship between them would cause a feeding frenzy among the media.
She’d meant what she said. She didn’t want a man who was ashamed of her, who wasn’t willing to let the world know she was his. Nor did she want a man who could willingly send her away with another man. Rob Lancaster hadn’t been the man for her.
But as soon as the press quit following her, she planned to start a search for her Mr. Right. So what if she had a feeling they’d all fall short in comparison to Rob? She only hoped she could make room in her heart for this Mr. Right she planned to someday find.
“Oh, it’s coming on,” Jessie cooed as the theme music Jill had come to hate filled the room. Something along the lines of Love Is In The Air. Which had to be better than the old episodes of Law and Order she could now quote from memory. She couldn’t bring herself to actually watch Rob’s old films from his acting days, but watching Benjamin Bratt as a character who existed in her law enforcement world provided comfort to her aching heart, made her believe she’d find a man worthy of her love.
Nausea churned the popcorn in her stomach. Uh-oh. Maybe she’d better lay off eating anything else.
For that matter, had she ate anything today? A bagel early this morning, but nothing since. She probably wouldn’t have indulged in the popcorn if Jessie hadn’t had a bowl and soda waiting on the coffee table when she’d finished changing out of her uniform and into a pair of sweats and T-shirt.
A Got Milk t-shirt.
She’d seen the identical-to-Rob’s shirt in a T-shirt shop and had stopped the patrol car to go inside to purchase one in her size. Completely and utterly stupid, and Dan had totally laughed his butt off at her, but wearing it made her somehow feel closer to Rob. Like the old Law and Order episodes did.
Where was he tonight? With some Hollywood socialite working off his abundant testosterone? Or was he alone watching the opening to the show they’d helped create?
She probably didn’t want to know the answer because the thought of him with another woman might drive her to insanity. She chose to ignore that he would move on, would have other women in his life, in his bed. Probably already had.
She choked on a piece of popcorn she hadn’t realized she’d tossed into her mouth.
“You okay?” Jessie set down her fizzing soda.
“Fine,” she muttered before taking a long sip of her drink to wash down any remaining food in her throat. “Just fine.”
And she would be. Eventually.
Just as soon as she forgot Rob.
Did one’s heart ever forget?
Jill watched while her face filled the screen. It was a clip of her right before she’d left the castle.
“You can tell I’ve been crying,” she complained. “I look awful. Why didn’t they fix my make-up?”
“Maybe that’s the look JP was going for when he dragged you in front of the camera,” Jessie mused, causing Jill to glance at her sister.
“JP wanted me to look bedraggled and upset?”
Jessie shrugged. “You told me he and Rob were good friends in addition to being co-producers for the show. Like, maybe, he wanted his pal to see how heartbroken you were.”
“JP was one of the reasons Rob pushed me away.”
Jessie shrugged again. “Whatever.”
Jill’s gaze went back to the screen. A segment on Jeff and the real princess’ “honeymoon” played, ending with Jeff on his knees proposing to the woman he confessed to having fallen in love with when he’d met her in Central America. Isabella accepted, muttering words of love and what was the point of being royalty if she couldn’t make changes to some of her country’s more backward laws. In a segment filmed later, Isabella discussed plans to launch a women’s rights initiative; while Jeff headed up a health program to insure all the children in her country received proper immunizations and well-child care. The princess never looked happier. Neither had the beaming man next to her. Love and pride shined in Jeff’s eyes while he watched Isabella charm the camera.
They sure hadn’t dragged out the suspense of how the honeymoon week had gone. Confused Jill looked at her watch. There was still forty-five minutes of airtime. So what was going to play during the remaining time?
A commercial came on. Maybe she’d just go on to bed and forget watching the rest. What was the point in torturing herself with more memories of Rob?
“Want another soda?” she asked when she stood, stretching her tight, achy muscles. She’d emptied her glass at some point.
“Sure.” Jessie handed her the almost empty glass. “I’ll have diet.”
Jill rolled her eyes. “Like you need to diet.
“I’m auditioning for a big part next week. I want to look good.”
“You couldn’t look otherwise,” Jill said, earning a smile. Amazing how she saw her sister with a different light. When had Jessie grown up and she’d failed to notice? Funny it had taken five weeks away to realize her sister really could manage her own life--albeit in a way that made Jill cringe.
She walked to the kitchen and poured more soda, silently musing over the portion of the show that had aired so far.
“Jilly, get in here. Now,” Jessie yelled.
Jill grabbed the sodas and rushed to the living room. Jessie sat on the sofa edge, her gaze glued to the television. “Look.”
“What’s the rush?
” Her breath caught when she noticed the television screen. She and Rob chatted in the studio following her having read the bachelor’s letters. One of the glasses in her hand almost slipped from her trembling fingers.
This wasn’t part of the show. Why were they airing this?
Jessie took the sodas from her and sat them on the coffee table, which was probably a good thing because Jill knew she would have dropped them both when the following clips came on.
Footage she hadn’t even known had been recorded of her and Rob together from before the bachelors arrived. She and Rob laughing, smiling. She’d loved him even then. The evidence was there in the way she gazed at him like he was the sweetest thing since chocolate.
Next a clip of Rob’s face when she’d appeared at the top of the stairs on the night she’d first met the bachelors. Had he really looked at her like that? As if she’d totally taken his breath away? Their dance aired next, close ups of Rob whispering in her ear. Memories ran through her of how his words sent tingles along her spine, how his scent intoxicated her senses.
Her eyes watered at the longing, but resignation on both of their faces when the dance ended. Footage of them in the exercise room quickly followed, then her challenge in the foyer.
Jill sucked air into her shaking body while the screen cut to a car commercial.
“What’s going on?” Jessie asked. “Did you know they were going to show this stuff?”
Jill shook her head, opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. What was going on? JP had to be behind this. Rob would be livid.
“Here, take a drink.” Jessie shoved her soda at Jill.
The cool liquid did little to calm her nerves. Had she bumped her head while at work today and just didn’t remember?
“Oh, it’s coming back on,” Jessie exclaimed when a commercial gave way to Jill and Rob battling it out on the basketball court, her teasing him about playing for his kiss and his insistence she kiss one of the bachelors following his win.
“But as this next scene shows, I did kiss Jane. The very next morning.” Rob’s gorgeous face came onto the screen.
“Oh my gosh. He’s in on this. Do you know what that means?” Jessie gushed, jumping up from the sofa and bouncing around like a cheerleader on speed. “Jilly, do you know what this means?”