But we weren’t there yet. We hadn’t made the claiming bite, and I didn’t want to until I knew we were safe.
“Want you to fill me, Bay. Make me full.” His words penetrated the fog of heat that muddled my brain.
I rose above him, and focused on his flushed cheeks, his loose hair spread around his head like a halo. I gripped the base of my dick and nudged his puckered opening, but didn’t enter him yet. He gripped his thick thighs with white knuckles. “I thought about this so many times.”
I blew out a breath. “You think I haven’t?”
“I imagined how you’d look turned on, how you’d have trouble holding back. You are, aren’t you?”
I gritted my teeth as I nudged harder, until the very tip breached him. He sucked in a breath, and my arms shook. “Yeah.”
“Go on, Bay.” He tilted his hips so that the whole head of my dick slipped inside. I moaned as the tight ring stretched for me. “Fuck me. Hard.”
I slammed home, and he made no sound other than the breath leaving his lungs. Me, on the other hand, I was loud. I moaned long and low, throwing my head back as the tight, wet heat of Nash’s body clamped around my dick.
I felt an echoing squeeze in my heart, in my mind. This was more than fucking, this was a coming together that we hadn’t had the time yet to complete.
I whined as I pulled out and slammed back in, but Nash only watched me with a clenched jaw, the veins in his neck standing out red and livid as I fucked into him again and again and again.
His hard cock bobbed between us, crimson and leaking with pre-come. I wrapped my fingers around it, the hot length a perfect fit in my hand. Nash’s mouth opened on a silent moan, and I decided my goal was to make him gasp and tremble and groan.
I stroked his dick slowly at first as I pounded into him. He began to writhe beneath me, his hands digging in the dirt as he sought to keep himself in place. But my thrusts were moving him, moving us. My knees lost purchase in the earth, and I fell against him. Our chests heaved together, and his thighs clamped around me as I tasted the skin of his neck, salty with sweat and gritty with dirt. This was what I wanted, what I always wanted—rough, can’t-get-enough fucking on the ground, like the shifters we were.
I changed the angle, and a moan scraped its way out of Nash’s throat, the sound like a lightning bolt down my spine. He gripped my hair in one fist, his blue eyes wild as he met every one of my thrusts with his own. I pounded mindlessly, seeking my orgasm as his engorged dick slicked through my fist.
“Bay,” he gasped out, my name once again a chant on his lips as he threw his head back and came between us. The smell of his come as it landed in the grooves of his abs sent me into a frenzy. I thrust into him, wanting to implant myself in his body, in his heart, so we were attached, so he couldn’t leave me. Nash gripped my hair and wrenched my head to the side, then laid his teeth against my neck.
I came like a thunderclap.
My body jerked as my dick pulsed inside of him, filling him with my come. It wasn’t enough. I wanted to open a vein and let him drink from me, tear a strip from my skin and let him ingest me.
I dropped my weight onto him completely as my hips slowed, as the aftershocks of my orgasm continued to echo throughout my body.
Everything was wet—my face, my ass, my chest. Wet and gritty and still I wanted more.
Nash’s breathing was labored below me, and my body moved up and down on his with every breath he took. The hand which had previously been locked into my hair in a death grip was now slowly stroking my head.
Nash’s tongue licked up my temple, over my eyelids. “My Bay,” he said softly, and my heart skipped a beat. “Thank you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, and the sincerity in his voice caused more tears to leak out the corners. Why had he been taken from me? Why had we been denied this all these years? I had to stop thinking that way. He was mine now. He was back.
I slipped from his body as he rolled onto his side. His arms came around me, and I curled against him, nuzzling into his chest, his armpit, mouthing at his nipples. He sniffed my hair, breathing me in, and we reveled in each other’s scents.
The sun was out of sight, the moon on its journey across the stars when we came up for air, sitting up and looking around us. We needed to move on soon. The scent of our mating would overpower the ruebane and draw Noweres. But Dal—who’d continually surveyed terrain ahead of us while in her wolf form—hadn’t scouted any packs for days. So for now, I felt safe. Maybe it was false safety, but in Nash’s arms, I couldn’t summon the fucks to give.
“We looked for you,” I said, my hand stroking through the wiry blond curls on Nash’s chest. “After we mourned Lee, we looked for you. We followed your trail, but it led to a dead end. Dare tried to tell me you’d died too, but I wouldn’t believe it. I refused to believe it. Not when there was no proof.”
His body shuddered, and he squeezed me tighter. “For a brief moment when I was taken, I wanted to be found. But soon after…no. I didn’t want to be found.”
“What was a day like for you?” I asked. He still hadn’t revealed to me where he’d been, why he’d been taken. The longer I was in his presence, the more his silence about this stretched between us, a chasm we’d have to cross if we were to make this work. “Reese did manual labor from sun up to sun down. Is that what you did? Were you taken for labor?”
“Sometimes,” he said softly. “Other times we were left by ourselves in a cell.”
I swallowed. Shifters weren’t meant for that. We needed our kind, our pack. “I’m so sorry.”
“I got so used to being alone…” Nash shifted so he could look me in the eye. “I have to be honest with you, Bay. I’m scared of being back in a pack. I don’t know how I’ll feel.”
We’d be there tomorrow. One more day, and we’d be home. I couldn’t wait to see Dare’s face when I returned with Nash. I lifted my hand to cup his face. “It’s okay. There’s no rush to acclimate. You can have all the time you need.”
He didn’t look convinced.
“And the pack will accept you back,” I added. “You’re a hero now. Your sacrifice is practically a legend already.”
I thought that would make him happy. Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut and fell onto the earth on his back. He slung his arm over his eyes, and I instantly missed the warmth of his arms around me. I snuggled into him again, laying my head on his chest and listening to his steady heartbeat. “I’m scared too,” I admitted.
He was quiet for a long time, then he moved, wrapping an arm around my waist. “Why?”
“Dare says that I don’t care about much, but what I do care about, I put my entire being into. It was that way with Mom, it was that way with Dare.” I closed my eyes, letting the vision wash over me of Dare kneeling in the dirt, Gage grinning evilly over him. “I haven’t told anyone this, but when it seemed like Gage would kill Dare, my first thought was that I’d find a way to die too. I’d provoke Gage until he slit my throat, or I’d run out into a Nowere pack. I was going to give up, Nash. All because I couldn’t imagine going on without my brother.”
Nash’s hand once again sifted through my hair. “You were always close, who can fault you for that—”
“I can,” I said bitterly. “I was going to quit. Not stick up for the pack, for Mav. When it was all over and Dare lived, I was so ashamed that my first thought had been to die along with him. He wouldn’t have wanted that for me, and I shouldn’t have wanted that for myself. On top of that, I wondered what you’d think. If I’d given up.”
Nash’s hands slipped below my arms and hauled me up his body until we were face to face. He didn’t let my head go, gripping it with his thumbs at my temples. “I’m not one to judge, you want to know why? Because I wanted to give up too. So many times I wished for death, and there were moments if it would have been handed to me, that I would have taken it gladly. We’re not robots. We’re not Noweres. We’re alive and we feel pain.” His lip trembled, and he was gripping my face
so hard my skull ached, but I didn’t dare look away from his eyes. He shook, and his mouth dropped open like he’d say more, but then he closed it, his grip eased, and his eyes dropped. “I thought it was a weakness too.” His voice was a whisper. “But now that I hear you say it was…well, I realize we’re not weak, Bay. We didn’t ask for this life. We’re doing the best we can.”
“But what if something happens to you?” I said. “Will I want to give up again? Feeling this much for someone…I can’t lose you.”
A tear slid down his cheek, and I brushed it away with my thumb as a hole opened up in my chest. He blinked rapidly and leaned into my hand. “I don’t have the answer for that,” he said. “All I know is that you’re all that’s holding me together. So I guess we’re a little dependent on each other, huh? We can’t change how we feel.”
I smiled at that. He was right. “Then I guess we gotta keep each other alive,” I said softly.
His answer was a kiss to my palm. Then we were forced to leave the privacy of the bush and return to the group, who were snoring in a tight circle, a mix of human flesh and fur.
Nash lay down, and I curled up next to him, and under the light of the moon and stars, we slept.
Chapter Ten
I woke up sweating. Nash was wrapped around me like a vine, his legs tangled with mine, his arms clutching me possessively. I could have lay like that forever in his arms, especially because I usually woke up to him turned away from me. Except my bladder was screaming at me, and Nash tolerated a lot but probably not me pissing on him.
As I tried to pull away, his arms tightened, then lips touched the back of my neck.
Fuck, okay, peeing could wait.
He rubbed his nose on the back of my neck, his cheek, like he wanted to exchange scents.
When I couldn’t take it any longer, I spoke up. “Nash, gotta take a piss.”
His arms squeezed again until he let me go. As I stood up, Pace opened an eye at me, then yawned.
“Bay,” Nash called.
I turned around. “Yeah?” He didn’t say anything, and I began to hop from foot to foot while he stared at me. “What? Nash, I gotta go.”
“Right,” he said quietly. “Then go.”
He was acting weird again, but I didn’t have time to deal. I burst into the edge of the clearing and relieved myself, leaning back against a tree as relief swept through my body.
Something rustled in the bushes and I froze. A small pink nose emerged from a nearby bush, whiskers twitching.
A rabbit. The bane of my existence yesterday. Even though we’d just fed last night, no one would be mad about having a rabbit for breakfast. Maybe this one would lead me to more. I shifted, and the rabbit caught sight of me, tearing off. I crashed after him. I wasn’t worried about not making sound now. The rabbit zigged and zagged, hopped over fallen trees and splashed through puddles, all with me on its heels. I was close to chomping on its delicious bunny throat when it dove into a burrow.
I growled in frustration and dug at the hole, but the ground was dry and hard. He was probably well below me now, laughing at me.
Fucker.
I flopped down on my side, breathing heavily. I was going to have to find my way back to the clearing now, and there was no way I’d be able to track in my human form.
With an empty belly, I lumbered to my feet and sniffed my way back. After about ten minutes, I was worried I was lost, but then the sound of voices reached my ears.
I heard Pace first, and the whispered urgency of his tone was like a fist around my lungs. “I don’t like this. The thought of you going back makes me sick.”
I froze, his whispered tone making me think this was a private conversation.
The voice I heard next was one I hadn’t expected. Nash. He spoke in a flat, emotionless tone. “I don’t have a choice.”
“Yes, you do! You have a pack—”
“I won’t risk them.”
Risk us? What the fuck was he talking about? I remained behind a bush, my ears swiveled toward the direction of their voices.
There was a heavy sigh, and Pace spoke up again. “You think Bay’s going to understand—”
There was a short burst of sound, like swift steps in the brush. “Don’t. Don’t talk to me about him. You don’t understand. Any of it.” This time Nash’s voice held venom.
Pace had apparently heard it before, because his voice was steady. “I’m trying to get you to see that you have options.”
“I don’t.”
“And what do you want me to tell him when he comes back and you’re gone, huh? You think doing this to him three times won’t break him?”
“Bay doesn’t break,” Nash said quickly.
Pace snorted. “Everyone breaks, Nash. You of all people should know.”
Footfalls crunched on the leaves below, followed by a quiet, “I’ll see you again, Pace.”
“Fuck you, Nash,” he called after him.
Pace walked past me, muttering under his breath while I cowered in the bushes. As soon as he was out of sight, I emerged and padded quietly down the path after Nash. He thought he was just going to leave? After everything we’d been working to grow in the past week and all we’d talked about, he was going to fucking bail on me?
I was going to kill him. Okay, not kill him. In fact, I wouldn’t even hurt him. But he was going to feel the sharp side of my tongue. I shifted to my human form so I could pick my way through the brush on two feet.
I kept my distance, wanting to see the direction he was heading. After about a mile he took a sharp right along a river bank and continued north. I wasn’t a bad tracker—not as great as Dal—but I did all right. Except I was tracking Nash now, and I was pissed off, and so I wasn’t being as careful as I should have been.
I braced my weight on a small tree along the bank, and didn’t take into account the dirt’s erosion. So the entire trunk gave way, and, before I could catch my balance, my body pitched down the bank. I hit with a thump, crying out as something sharp dug into my back, then couldn’t make any sound at all when my head hit something else. Dazed, I slammed into the water with a splash.
I flailed, searching for the surface or the bed with my feet, my arms, anything to orient myself. But all around me was the silt-filled water, and my lungs screamed as they sought oxygen. Just as I thought I was really going to drown in this goddamn river, a splash reverberated through the water, then arms lifted me up and out. I heaved gulps of blissful, fresh air as my body was carried to shore.
I caught his scent, but even if I hadn’t, I would’ve recognized him. No one’s arms felt like his. He was muttering to himself too. “What are you doing here, Bay? And almost drowning? For fuck’s sake.”
I couldn’t talk yet, and he set me down on my hands and knees so I could retch up the contents of my stomach. I glared up at him, the ends of my hair dripping water in my eyes as I panted. “What am I doing here? Chasing you, asshole. Where the hell are you going?”
His eyes blazed, and he opened his mouth. No words came out. The chatter of Noweres filled the air.
My entire body ran ice cold. I struggled to my feet, rubbing my arms, but the ruebane was gone, washed off in the water. Nash had carried us to the opposite side of the river. We weren’t near the rest of our pack. We were trapped on the side of the bank with a rapidly approaching Nowere pack.
I didn’t have my knife on me—it was back at camp. We. Were. Fucked.
The last time I’d felt this helpless was when my brother was about to be murdered in front of my eyes. Was I going to have to watch Nash fall to Noweres? This couldn’t happen, this wasn’t meant to be.
Nash cursed under his breath. His gaze swept from me to the direction of the Noweres, then back to me. He looked as helpless as I felt, gnawing on his lips and running his hands through his soaked hair. Then he heaved a breath and squared his shoulders. His eyes matched his pleading tone. “Stay in your human form and lay down flat.”
“Wha—?”
He didn’t let me ask any questions as he shifted to his Were form. I wanted to tell him to shove it, that I’d fight to, but I didn’t want our last moments to be an argument. So I listened, every muscle in my body screaming at me to get up and face the undead fuckers. Instead, I followed his instructions and lay down on my back. If he thought I’d continue to lay here while he fought them for me, he had another thing coming. But when the first Nowere came into view, Nash didn’t fight. He lay on top of me, covering me completely from head to toe, enveloping me in his massive furred form.
I could barely breathe with his weight crushing me, his fur in my nose and mouth where my head was tucked under his chin, but I didn’t dare move or complain. I had no idea what this was going to do, but Nash had told me to do it, so I did. By now, several Noweres stood in a line in front of us, their jaws still chattering, as they scented the air. I waited for them to pull Nash off me, gouge his flesh, tear out my heart and rip my limbs from my body. I closed my eyes. When the first roar came, I’d fight to the death. No way would Nash and I go out lying down, no matter what he thought.
Part Two
NASH
Chapter Eleven
Beneath me, Bay was trembling. I wished that I could explain why I was laying on top of him, but there hadn’t been enough time if I wanted to save him.
I hadn’t wanted it to ever come to this, for him to find out this way. But with Bay’s life threatened, I had no choice. I wasn’t even sure this would work, but it was the only idea I had. From the reaction of the Noweres, they couldn’t detect him, my large body overpowering whatever scent he was throwing off, like I was his personal ruebane.
It had to work. Bay was going to live a long life. All these years I’d been ashamed of my immunity. It had done nothing but bring me pain—immeasurable pain—and heartache. It’d be all worth it though, if I saved Bay’s life. Except…he wouldn’t have even been here if it wasn’t for me.
Chasing Destiny (Silver Tip Pack Book 2) Page 10