“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“I know, but I want to. I did a lot I wasn’t proud of, but I was trying to stay alive…” I shook my head. “I didn’t stay alive for me. I stayed alive because they threatened Hannah and this pack. So I endured.”
Bay’s kiss was soft, a gentle press of his lips to mine. He spoke against them, and I inhaled his words as he thanked me for staying alive, as he told me he loved me, that I was his, and he’d protect me. As he assured me I was home. With him.
We didn’t talk much as he rolled me onto my back, as he slipped between my legs, then into my body. The mating wasn’t frantic, it was slow and hot. Bay clutched me to him like I was precious, and, after fifteen years of not even being called by my name, I loved hearing it slip from his lips with reverence.
It was all worth it, every moment of my life, to get to this point. With Bay’s solid length claiming me, his teeth clamping down on my shoulder, and his whispered declarations in my ear.
Life wasn’t a guarantee, and I still worried about what was to come, the weapons the Blanks would use against us, and what they’d do to me if we lost. I couldn’t think about it now, though, not while I was in Bay’s arms.
After I came, Bay’s tongue went to work on cleaning up our releases, and I slipped off to sleep as he pulled me tight against him.
Chapter Fifteen
Dare wasn’t kidding when he said the next day we’d go to work. Bay and I woke up to Vaughn pounding on our door. He waltzed inside, smirking while Bay groaned about being denied morning sex.
He dropped a couple of egg sandwiches in our laps, told us to get cleaned up because “the smell of come is distracting” and get dressed.
Our pack had rudimentary plumbing thanks to the Arbor River outside, so we cleaned up in Bay’s small corner bathroom and reported to the meeting room we were in the day before, eating our sandwiches along the way.
Dare was already there, with Rua, G, and Vaughn. The questions began immediately, and I spent the next couple of hours explaining where the pack lived, what their structure was like, and how we could best help the Weres trapped there.
I was torn. I wanted more than anything to rescue my fellow prisoners, including Hannah. But risking the safety of the Silver Tip was breaking my heart.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I dared to ask my alpha.
His green gaze snapped to me like a lightning bolt. “You’re questioning the decision?”
Bay stiffened next to me, probably wanting me to shut up, but Dare hadn’t kicked me out yet, so I kept going. “They have weapons we don’t have, trained guards. I’m not saying I don’t want to bring their entire structure to the ground. But I also worry we’re embarking on a suicide mission.”
I thought Dare would snap at me, but instead he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, features crinkling a bit as his brow furrowed. “You might think my decision was hasty, but ever since I saw you in the Bluefoot pits, I’d agonized over where you’d been this whole time. Last night I spoke to Reese, who shares your fears and reservations. We talked it out, and in the end, we both agreed this is the best decision, the right decision. My guards agree, and we’ve already accumulated a group of twenty-five Weres to take on the mission. Once these bastards find out their guards aren’t coming back, they’re going to come looking. I intend to bring the fight to their doorstep.”
I didn’t have a response to that. He’d thought it through, and the decision was final. All the Weres around me matched his steely, determined gaze.
That was it. We were going to face the Blanks.
I nodded. “Okay, then let’s talk weapons. They have what they call cross-bows. I’d never seen anything like them, but from over a hundred yards away they can fire an arrow with enough force that it will pierce you straight through.”
Dare’s expression didn’t change. I wondered what would make him feel defeated. Maybe not much now that he had his True Mate abilities. “So,” he said. “Stealth. We need to get inside their walls and fight them from the inside. We can’t let them use their superior weapons long-range. How are their fighting skills?”
“The guards have weapons, but they are used to battling weaker prisoners in chains. They’re trained, but not in hand-to-hand combat with healthy Weres.”
“That’s our advantage.” Dare flattened his palms on the table. “You’re going to need to draw us a map of their compound and we’ll get a plan together.”
“I can do that.”
He pointed at Vaughn. “Add another shift to the training schedule focusing on sword and knife skills.”
“Done,” Vaughn answered.
“There’s something else.” I glanced at Bay, and walked to the door. After opening it, I hollered Pace’s name. A few moments later, the werewolf appeared, clutching a small satchel and biting his lip in apprehension. “Something that the Blanks don’t know about. The Whitethroat alliance will do more for us than you probably think.”
Pace reached the edge of the large table and turned the bag upside down over the top of it. A small pile of dirt and a ruebane plant fell onto the table.”
Dare’s eyebrows lifted as I pointed to the shiny leaves. “That’s ruebane. And the oil from its leaves makes us undetectable to Noweres.”
The alpha didn’t make a sound, his eyes huge and round. Rua leaned forward, squinting at the plant like it was a strange creature. Finally, Dare reached a tentative hand toward the plant. With a glance at Pace, who nodded in encouragement, he rubbed a leaf between his fingers. He sniffed at them, then rubbed the oil on the back of his hand, sniffing again. “And this works?”
“I can verify it works,” Bay said. “We were covered in that oil, and an entire Nowere pack walked right by us.”
“We grow it,” Pace said, “and are prepared to provide some to you. In exchange, we’d like some livestock and seeds for crops.” He swallowed and met Dare’s gaze head-on. “Also an alliance, the promise that you’ll help protect us should a nearby pack attack us for it.”
Dare studied him for a long time, before turning to the guards. “Vote. Yay or nay.”
“Yay,” they all murmured in unison.
“Then that’s done.” Dare said. “In four days, we’ll be leaving to rescue the Weres held by the Blanks.”
Pace’s wide eyes darted to me.
“Do you want to negotiate the terms of our trade deal now? Or wait until we return? Reese will not be coming with us, so you’re free to stay with him, learn some of our skills.”
“I can wait,” Pace said. “I’d be happy to spend more time with Reese, and also help should you need anything when you return.”
Dare stood. “Great. Then. Let’s take a break for today. Head out to the training fields, everyone. We need to be sharp.”
After being cooped up with Dare, Bay, and the rest of the guards, I needed to blow off steam. The more I talked about the Blanks, the more my fear sifted out of my body, leaving behind rough-edged grains of anger. Their threats were still there in the back of my mind, but it was hard to look into Dare’s eyes and not be carried along by his confidence in victory.
Vaughn looked ready to spill blood, G sat with quiet dominance, and then there was Bay, a silent, supportive presence who seemed to know when I was about to lose it.
He gripped my hand as he led me out of the Hive into the sunshine. I still hadn’t seen the changes made to the Hive after all these years, so we walked to where the farm lay spread out before us, crops in neat rows. I inhaled the earthy tang of cows and listened to their soft moos. Standing amongst the fruits of my pack’s labors reminded me why it was so important to preserve humanity in this world. Even if all I wanted to do was curl in a ball and forget about it all.
“This is new.” I pointed to a plot of land now brimming with green leaves.
“Yeah, we added two more sections to rotate crops.” Bay picked up a piece of straw and stuck it in his mouth as a cow lumbered over to us.
&
nbsp; She sniffed at my hand, her velvet muzzle tickling my palm. Her pink tongue explored between my fingers.
“I know it’s only been a day,” Bay said. “But are you adjusting okay?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s hard not to think it will all be taken away again. I used to wish I’d been born a Blank, so I didn’t have the memory of happiness and a home pack. Almost worse to know what I was missing.”
Bay leaned into me, knowing his touch soothed me. “You should talk to Reese. His life was similar, happy back before the Whitethroat pack was attacked, then he was trapped with the Bluefoot pack for ten years.”
“He and Dare seem very happy.”
“They are. Reese makes Dare laugh, and he reminds him why he works so hard to protect this pack.”
“I always knew he’d be a good alpha.”
Bay grinned. “I’m proud of him. Come on, enough petting cows and shit. Let’s train. We got four days now, remember?”
Right, and those grains of anger were rubbing my skin raw from the inside. “Let’s do it.”
I wasn’t the same fighter I’d been back when we’d sparred before. Being forced to fight to the death among other Weres had honed my skills out of necessity. I didn’t enjoy it, but I was going to make sure I was at the top of my game when it came to fighting the Blanks.
Bay stripped when we walked into the training area, and I did too. All around, Weres were fighting against one another. Vaughn was standing at the edge of a circle, barking commands at two Weres who were facing off in their Were form. The dirt was splattered with blood, but still they raged at each other, growling and snarling, claws whistling through the air.
When I turned back to Bay, he was loosening up his arms, flapping them front to back. I looked around. “Who’re we fighting?”
He blinked at me. “Uh, each other?”
I backed up immediately, holding out my hands. “Nope. No.”
“What are you talking about? We trained together as kids—”
I didn’t mean to cut him off with a growl. “We’re not kids anymore, Bay.”
His lips turned down, and he cocked his head at me as he spoke slowly. “I know that. But I don’t understand your hang up.”
A nearby training pair kicked up dirt as one Were fell to the ground with a pained squeal. When I turned back to Bay, his face was paler. I pointed at the two Weres. “Maybe some mates can do that to each other, but I can’t. I don’t fight like I used to. In my Were form, I’m rarely…” I searched for the right words. In our Were forms we were more animalistic, but our humanity, our consciousness, was always present. Either the Blanks had done something to me, or I’d adapted over time, but my Were form was much less controlled. Training often resulted in injuries, but I couldn’t hurt Bay. My Were wouldn’t allow it. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t think I’d be able to fight you in my Were form.”
He was staring at me like I’d lost my mind. And I had. Years ago. He stepped forward, his hands on his naked hips. “I need you to explain.”
I didn’t want to, but I’d noticed that every time I talked about what the Blanks had done to me, I gained a little more power, a little bit of myself back. “I told you they made us fight in our Were forms. And every time I shifted, I had to ignore my human emotions, my rationale. It was all about staying alive.”
“But you’re not worried about hurting me?”
I shook my head. “No, because you’re my mate. All my forms recognize that. And my Were won’t fight you. He’ll only protect.”
“Like back when you fought Vaughn. You nearly killed him.”
Guilt crept into his eyes. “Yeah. I don’t always think clearly.”
Bay looked away for a moment, his brows furrowed. “What do you think will happen when we reach the Blanks? How will you react when we have to fight them?”
He could read my mind, the fear in my eyes reflected in his.
“Are you going to be able to stick to a plan? A strategy? Or is your Were going to barge in on a suicide mission?”
My words tumbled out. “I don’t know.”
He swore under his breath and turned away, his hands on top of his head. “Nash…”
“I’m sorry I’m fucked up—”
“Stop fucking apologizing!” he shouted, whirling around with his fists clenched. “Just stop it! I can’t listen to it anymore. Every single time, your voice cracks on the r’s and my heart breaks. There’s nothing to apologize for.” He stepped forward and pointed at my chest. “The only thing you’ll ever have to apologize for is if you die. Do you understand?”
But Bay would be fine without me. He was before, and he’d be again. I was the one who was dependent. Still, I nodded. “Okay.”
He didn’t look convinced. And he might have kept arguing with me if Pace’s voice didn’t filter between us. “Hey, you two.”
He was watching us with raised eyebrows as a silent Baron stood at his side. “Hey,” I said, as Bay seethed beside me.
Pace tipped his head toward Baron. “You want someone to train with? He’s your wolf.”
This caught Bay’s attention. “He’s a werewolf.”
“He is,” was all Pace said.
“But—”
“Just let him show you what he can do. Nash, you up for it?”
I trusted Pace. “Sure.”
“Wait—”
“Bay, go.” I shooed him to the side of the training area.
He glared at me. “Fine. Kick his ass then, mate.”
Baron stepped into the training area and cracked his neck. In seconds he’d shifted to a massive gray wolf with a white patch on his throat. And by massive, I meant huge. He growled at me as he lowered his head, stalking around the edge of the circle. I shifted to my Were form and immediately my senses honed in on two things. My mate and a threat.
The threat was prowling on four large paws topped with sharp claws. No doubt this wolf could fight. My mate was out of the way, safe, but I knew I had to eliminate the threat, protect my mate.
The wolf lunged at me and I swiped at him. He avoided my claws but managed to clamp his teeth down on my leg. I kicked him off and ignored the warm trickle of blood. My mate’s heartbeat elevated.
We sparred a few more times, and while the wolf didn’t touch me again, I tore a deep gash in his haunch, so now he stalked with a limp. Some part of me was telling me not to kill the wolf, but the rest of me wasn’t sure why I couldn’t.
He circled the edge of the training ring, and that was when he stepped too close to where my mate stood, close enough that their smells mingled. My Were went berserk.
I rushed the wolf, quick enough that he couldn’t dodge out of the way. I caught him in the side, claws digging in, and we fell to the ground in a heap of fur. The wolf fought like a beast, jaws snapping, ripping part of my ear as I used my back legs to kick at his soft belly.
The wolf didn’t scream in pain when I tore a hole in his chest with my claws. He was going for my throat, but I couldn’t let him. I couldn’t fall because if I did, that meant harm to my mate. I got the wolf on his back and prepared to rip his throat out when a body blocked my way. A human body. My mate’s.
“Nash. Stop.”
I froze, jaws open, dripping with saliva, blood, and fur.
“Shift. Nash.” Bay’s voice again. “Shift.”
My brain was coming back online, the human part of me that told me I wasn’t supposed to kill. I wasn’t… Where was I?
My bones morphed back into human and I looked down at Bay, who was covering the human body of Baron.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” I shoved Bay aside and ran my hands over Baron’s body, calling for a medic, but the guy just bared his teeth at me in a bloody grin. “Damn, that was good,” he said, slurring his words around a swollen jaw. He turned to Pace. “Right, alpha?”
“Are you…are you okay?” I asked.
Baron stood up, holding his side where blood seeped out through his fingers. “Yup.”
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bsp; I stared at Pace, who was watching us with amusement. Who were these crazy bastards? “Nash, I would never have let Baron in with you if I wasn’t confident he could hold his own.”
“I almost killed him!”
Pace shook his head as Baron shifted back to wolf form and began licking his wounds. “Nah. I mean, okay, you were close and Bay probably saved a lot of healing time, but Baron would have wriggled out of it. He loves this shit.” He reached down and ruffled Baron’s ears. The wolf snapped his jaws at him, but Pace only laughed. “Well, guess we know no one should fuck with you, huh?” He walked off with a limping Baron.
I looked down at Bay, who sat on the ground staring at me. There was blood on his torso and I swiped at it, relieved when I saw it wasn’t his blood.
“You’re right,” Bay said slowly. “You’re not all there in Were form, are you?”
I suddenly wanted to get out of there, away from the other training Weres who were watching us with interest. I swallowed. “I told you.”
“You did,” Bay said softly. “You did.”
“I have no more secrets.” I spread out my hands. “I’m telling you everything. And waiting for the day you realize this is too much for you. That you’re going to have to take care of me for the rest of our lives…”
“Hey, hey.” He stood up and dusted off his hands. “What’s this about?” He gestured behind him. “What do you think my life is like, Nash? I live behind stone walls. I eat, train, and help keep this place running. I used to fuck other shifters, but now I just fuck you.” He stepped forward and gripped my hair. “My life wasn’t a party before you. Maybe everyone thought it was, but every single day, I knew something was missing. The reason I volunteered to travel to scout out the Whitethroat compound was because I’d grown so restless I couldn’t take it anymore. I was coming out of my skin. And I’m finally, finally content now that I found you.” He wrapped his other hand around my neck and caressed my jaw with his thumb. The warm of his touch spread through me. I was right where I’d always wanted to be. His smile was slow, spreading across his face like dripping honey. “You’re the destiny I’ve been chasing all my life, Nash.”
Chasing Destiny (Silver Tip Pack Book 2) Page 14