by Radclyffe
Marge paused, and Reese could see the pain of memory etched in the lines around her mouth.
"Im sorry," Reese began, knowing there were no words to heal this particular sorrow.
Marge shook her head. "It was a long time ago, but it was probably the greatest pain of my life. I had no idea what was to become of me. It felt like everything beautiful in my life disappeared. My innocence certainly died. I couldnt stand the pain, and I knew I felt the way I did because I was somehow very different from my girlfriends. I had no name for it, except "Queer," and I knew that was not a good thing to be. So, I started to drink, and managed to stay drunk through my last year in highschool. Thats what I meant when I said I tried to kill myself. It wasnt pretty, but it was very nearly effective."
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, shaking off the vestiges of the past. Turning questioning eyes to Reese, she asked, "What made you ask?"
"A girl," Reese said. "A girl who cant tell her father shes in love with another girl. She acts pretty tough, but I get the feeling shes scared. Mostly scared that someone will keep them apart, I think. Im trying to understand what thats like."
"Why?" Marge asked, not with censure, but with true curiosity. "What makes you care?"
Reese shrugged. "I have a feeling shes not the only kid in town in this situation, Provincetown being what it is. She says she has no where to go to be with her girlfriend. I need to understand what life is like for these kids if Im going to interact with them fairly."
"Theyre not like other kids, Reese. They have to fight hard to survive. Most of the time the whole world tells them they shouldnt be the way they are. They shouldnt dress the way they do, they shouldnt enjoy the things they do, and God knows, they shouldnt love the way they do. The boys get beat up, or they act out sexually all over the place in unsafe ways, and more often than not, the girls who admit to themselves what they feel end up leaving school or underachieving. If theyre not being self-destructive with drugs or alcohol, theyre getting into trouble some other way. Youll do them more harm than good if you try to prevent them from being who they are. Thats about all they have."
"I cant let them have sex in dark alleys or under the pier!"
"Why not?"
"Because its not safe! If I cant see them, I cant protect them! If a group of redneck toughs stumbles across two boys, or two girls for that matter, making out in some dark corner, they could do them real damage!"
Marge nodded in reluctant agreement. "Youve got a point, but there isnt much you can do about it. They have to be together somewhere, and most likely it wont be at parties, or dances, or at each others homes the way it is for straight kids. These kids feel like outcasts, and just about everything they see and hear reinforces that. They dont have much alternative to the dunes or the piers if they want privacy."
"A coffee house?"
"Good idea, but you have to remember that although Provincetown looks like the center of the gay world, most of these lesbians and gay boys dont live here. After the season ends, this town is about as prejudiced as any other. And the few gay kids arent going to want to make any public announcements, I wouldnt imagine."
"But at least for the four or five months of the season they can blend in a little," Reese observed, beginning to see the dilemma Brianna and her girlfriend faced. "Isnt there some place these kids can go?"
Marge nodded. "Theres a little hole in the wall out on Shank Painter Road that caters to the kids. The music is god-awful, and the foods even worse, but at least theyre welcome there. A couple of old queens own the place. They dont sell alcohol until ten oclock at night, which is how they get around having under age kids in the bar."
"Thats just up the road from the station," Reese remarked, wondering if Nelson Parker gave the place any thought. He certainly hadnt mentioned it to her as place she ought to keep an eye on.
"Yeah. I think theyre calling it The Lavender Lounge this year."
"Thanks, Marge. The information helps. I didnt know about this place. Ill have to drop by."
"Reese," Marge warned, "if you go in there looking like a cop, youre going to scare some kids away. They dont have much as it is."
"Point taken," Reese remarked. "Ill go in disguise."
" Yeah , right. With that build, and that walk, she just about screams "cop." Marge chuckled. "Try to blend in. Better yet, take a date."
"Are you volunteering?"
"Hell no. Then youd just be more obvious," she laughed. She grew thoughtful, then suggested, "Why dont you ask the doc! She can interpret for you."
"I hardly think I need a guide," Reese said, uncomfortable with the conversation suddenly.
"I just meant, shes a lesbian, and shes good with the kids," Marge said, not missing her friends discomfort. "Hey, Reese! Did you ever have a crush on one of your girlfriends?"
Reese stood abruptly, her face expressionless. "I didnt have any girlfriends. All my friends were Marines."
As Marge joined her for the walk back to town, she wondered about the strange life her new friend had lived.
Chapter Eleven
"Reeseyou there?"
Reese fingered the button on the microphone clipped to her shirt.
"I copy, Gladys."
"See the couple at the Lobster Pot theres a child missing."
"Ten-four," Reese said curtly as she began to hurry the few blocks to the restaurant. It was not unusual for children to wander away from their parents, but it was always cause for concern. Traffic was heavy and unpredictable, and with the miles of beachfront, the water posed a very real danger as well. She found anxious parents and a boy who looked to be about ten waiting for her.
"Im Deputy Sheriff Conlon," she said. "What happened?"
"Our daughter," the father began, "shes lost. We were just walking, looking in the windows. When we stopped for ice cream for the kids, Sandy was gone. We thought"
"Bill - " his wife interrupted in a cautionary tone.
"Its my fault," the young boy said tremulously. "I was supposed to be holding her hand, but then a couple of guys on rollerblades came between us and we got separated. She was still right beside me" he choked back sobs and hung his head.
His mother pulled him close. "Its all right, Greg, well find her. Its not your fault."
"How long ago did you last see her?" Reese asked gently, trying to keep them calm.
The husband and wife looked at each other in confusion. "Maybe a half hour?" he said uncertainly.
"And her full name?"
"Sandra Lynn James. Shes six."
"What is she wearing?" Reese continued, jotting notes on her small pad.
"Blue jeans, a yellow tee shirt and red sneakers," her mother informed Reese.
"Sheriff," the father said softly, "our daughter is handicapped."
Reese looked up quickly. "How?"
"She cant communicate very well. Shes not very verbal; shes easily distracted. She wont react the way a child usually does if theyre lost."
"What will she do?"
He shrugged. "Its hard to say. She might sit for hours watching something that catches her attention, or she may just wander."
"Can she swim?"
The mother stifled a cry and grasped her husbands hand.
"No," he said desperately.
"Tell me what she likeswhat does she like to do?"
For a moment both parents appeared confused.
"She likes the color red," her brother said into the silence, "and she loves birds, any kind of birds." He took a step toward Reese, his face determined "I want to go with youto look for her."
Reese knelt down until her face was level with his. "Your parents are pretty upset. I need you to stay with them, to make sure theyre okay. And I need you to think of anything else about your sister that will help us find her. Im going to give you a special number that you can call to reach me anytime. Okay?"
He searched her face, then nodded. "All right."
"Good," she said as she straightened. "Gladys," she signale
d into her mike.
"Go ahead, Reese," a staticy voice replied.
"Wake up Smith, and have both him and Jeff Lyons call me. Inform the Chief, and the doctor, of what we have. If someone finds a little girl, they may take her to the clinic."
"Right away."
Reese turned to the family. "I want you to wait at the police station. Ill have an officer take you there in a minute. I want to start a store-by-store search back along the way you came. Do you have a picture I can take?"
"Yes," the childs mother replied, fumbling through her handbag for her wallet. "Heres her school picture." She smoothed the picture tenderly with the tips of her fingers before handing it to Reese.
"Please find her, Sheriff."
Reese tucked the photo into her front shirt pocket. "Yes, maam, I will."
Reese radiod headquarters as she walked to the nearest shop. "Gladyshave Smith pick up this family and transport them to the station, and have Lyons start a car check at the town line."
"You dont think someone took her?" Gladys gasped in alarm.
"Its routine, Gladys," Reese replied grimly. "And call me with any information you get, okay?"
"Absolutely."
Reese spent the next two hours personally talking to every shopkeeper west of the place where the Joneses could last be sure their daughter had been with them. She scanned the crowds constantly, checking the benches and doorways along the route where the child might have stopped. There was no sign of the child. Finally, she phoned the station to speak with Nelson Parker.
"Its no good, Chiefwe need help. Its going to be dark in an hour and a half, and it will be twice as hard to sort through the crowds. Shes either injured somewhere, someone has her, or shes hiding somehow. Can you get volunteers, with a copy of her picture, to start a street-by-street search?"
"Theres a womens health group thats pretty organized. They can pull people together faster than I can at random. Where do you want them?"
"Have them meet me at the Town Hall in half an hour."
On her way there, she stopped to have photocopies of Sandys picture made. She was gratified to find fifteen people waiting for instructions when she arrived. As she handed out the childs picture and organized the volunteers into pairs with specific assignments, she saw Victoria King and her office staff arrive. She motioned for the doctor to join her.
"Is there anything special I should tell them about the child?" Reese asked. "You spoke with her parents?"
"I did, and aside from what sounds like some form of autism, shes perfectly healthy. My biggest concern is that its getting colder, and if shes out all night, hypothermia is a real danger."
"I know. I want her found before dark." Reese turned back to the volunteers, directing them off to their search. "Ive called the Coast Guard to begin scanning the shore, and the water. Where will you be if I need you?"
"Randy and Sally are both out searching, so I closed the office. I might as well wait there. You can page me. Ive got the Jeep, so Im mobile. Heres my card" she answered, scribbling her beeper number on the back. "Will you call me when you have something?" She searched Reeses face, knowing that she must be feeling the stress. Her dark blue eyes were more intense than usual, if that was possible, and her voice a little brusque, but her face betrayed nothing of her emotions. God, was she always this controlled? Tory couldnt help but wonder at what cost the stoic sheriff maintained her calm. As a physician she knew how high that price could be. "Reese?"
Reese was staring out over the harbor, her concentration barely penetrated by Torys voice. "Do you see that?" Reese asked softly.
Tory followed her line of sight, perplexed. "What? The kites?"
Reese nodded, her gaze captured by a particularly decorative red wide-winged kite. "She likes birds, her brother saidand the color red."
Tory stared at her, and then up at the sky. "Where would she go to get closer to them?"
"Toward the waterout onto one of the piers," Reese said grimly. "Will you call the sheriff and have him send one of the men out to check the piers at the west end? Ill start closer to where she was last seen."
"Yes, of course."
Reese looked down at her, fixing her eyes on Victorias as she gently took her hand. She pressed Tory's fingers lightly. "Thanks."
Tory felt the brief touch to the bone. The sounds of the crowd receded as her gaze locked with Reeses. She was riveted in place, scarcely drawing a breath. In that moment, she realized that Reese Conlon was the most intriguing woman she had ever met. And she was beautiful. " And Im in big trouble ," Tory thought. She swallowed, wondering if she would ever be able to look away. Thankfully, someone demanded Reeses attention at that moment, and Reese released her hand, turning aside.
Tory took a shaky breath. Right, find a phone, Tory girl, you can do that. Just walk away from her. She has no idea what shes doingshe hasnt a clue to the effect she has on any lesbian with a heartbeat.
And Tory realized with a shock that that was probably trueReese didnt know. And if she didnt know, what did that say about her? Tory considered what little she knew of Reeses past. Some part of her had always assumed that Reese was a lesbian, because she seemed like one, and because Tory found her attractive. But perhaps she wasntor perhaps she didnt know that she was! Tory shook her head either way, it lets me out. Theres no way Im getting involved with someone whos just coming out, or God forbid, straight!
She watched Reese stride down the sidewalk toward the center of town and willed her heart to stop pounding. It didnt work, but she tried to tell herself it was only her worry over the little girl.
**********
It was close to eight oclock when Tory tossed the last chart onto the cart beside her desk. It had been dark for two hours. She couldnt imagine how the parents must feel, or how frightened the child must be. She hated it when children were sick. It was often impossible to explain to them what was happening, or why she had to do things that hurt them. Too often, she simply had to do what needed to be done, accepting that sometimes she caused pain in the name of healing. But it never got easier. She thought about Katherine, the woman she had loved for ten yearsthrough med school and K.Ts surgical residency, until it had ended four years ago. Katherine had the surgeons wonderful, and irritating, ability to detach herself at will from emotions that threatened her equilibrium. A necessary skill for the operating room, but a deadly one for a relationship. Katherine had been so damn hard to resist, though, that Tory had forgiven her for every hurt but the last. Even her disarming grin and her pledge of undying love could not sway Tory then. That was part of the reason Tory needed to avoid any fantasies about the enigmatic Deputy Sheriffshe had that same irresistible quality of bravado and rakish appeal that Katherine had had. Once was enough! Reese Conlon might be charming, and gallant, and bravebut she was dangerous, too.
Tory jerked in her seat when the phone rang. "Yes?" she said abruptly.
"I have her, Doctor. Well be there in five minutes. The parents are on their way," Reese stated over her car phone.
"Whats her status?" Tory asked as she rose from behind her desk.
"Shes not talking. Shes not even crying. But I dont see any obvious injuries. Were just up the street"
"Bring her back to the procedure room."
"Roger that."
**********
Tory looked up a moment later to find Reese standing in the door of her examining room with a bundle in her arms. A tousled blond head poked out of a green flak jacket emblazoned with the Marine Corp insignia.
"Put her up on the table," Tory indicated brusquely as she reached for a stethoscope. Reese settled the child carefully on the paper-covered surface as Tory turned to the little girl with a smile on her face.
"Hi, sweetie," she said. "Im Dr. King. Can you tell me your name?" She laid her hand gently on the childs knee as she spoke. The little girl's skin was cool to her touch.
"Reese, theres a blanket in the warmer behind you. Get it for me, will you?"
Reese wrapped the
soft flannel around the young patients shoulders as Tory placed a plastic thermometer sleeve against the childs earlobe. The little girl watched her in silence, but she didnt seem to be afraid.
"Her temperature is a little low, but not dangerously so," Tory commented as she placed the bell of her stethoscope against the small chest. She noted the strong steady beat with satisfaction. Looking down, she realized the girls shoes and socks were missing.
"What happened to her shoes?" she asked as she slipped the stethoscope into her pocket.
"I took them off," Reese replied. "They were wet."
Now that she was satisfied that the child was in no danger, Tory really looked at Reese for the first time.
"Youre soaked, Reese! What happened?"
Reese shrugged. "She climbed out to the edge of a tide pool, following the kites, I think. The tide had come in quite a ways before I found her."
Tory shuddered inwardly at the image of a small child trapped by the swirling waters, unable to climb out and unlikely to be able to swim. She knew that rescue had come barely in time, and only then because of the intelligence and tireless dedication of the woman beside her. A woman, she noted now, who was shivering slightly while she waited to help further.
"You need to get out of those clothes, Reese," she said gently.
"Ill stay if you need me," Reese responded quietly.
Tory shook her head. "Shes fine. Her parents should be here soon. Go on."
"Ive got clothes in the squad car. Ill just be a minute," Reese said, reluctant to leave. She had known instinctively that the little girl was in no danger, but she was captivated by watching Tory King work. Tory took charge with a degree of command that Reese was used to, but with a gentleness and empathy that had been absent in the world of men Reese had inhabited. Reese was moved in a way she didnt understand, stirred by the interplay of fierce concentration and compassionate warmth that suffused Torys elegant features.