by Richa Resa
“Yes.” My voice came out cold and loud. Standing up, I walked beside Nora, who kept sneaking glances at me. I knew I was different, but I hadn’t changed who I really was. I was still Eunice and only Eunice.
“Nothing is happening to me, Nora, and I don’t think I look any different than I do every day,” I told her, feeling irritated.
She sighed as we sat down in the car. “Crystal Workhouse,” Nora informed her driver before facing me.
“I haven’t seen you like this. So unfazed. You look so distant and calm ever since we delivered the news of Anne’s pregnancy. I want you to be angry, shout out, bang and break things rather than be so calm. I don’t know what you feel like after all this, but I don’t want you to take the same path you did before. I don’t wish to see you being suicidal again.” She said the last part looking away from me. I knew this concern ate her up.
“I promised, Nora, I promised to never take that path ever again. I am tired of being betrayed, hurt, and of feeling sorry for myself. I just want to move forward. I am already broken and dead on the inside. I don’t think much more could hurt me. I seem so unfazed because I’m tired. Tired of being run on, of being pushed down, and humiliated. I am a person on my own now. I just want to change, become strong, and be someone who can’t be hurt again.” My eyes never left the road as I spoke calmly, without a hint of emotion. I didn’t want to look in her eyes and see the sympathy there, thus I looked at the road passing by. She didn’t say anything more, leaving us in silence.
Soon I saw the Crystal Workhouse coming into view. A place where I had been hurt for the very first time, where I had learnt about his betrayal to me. A place where I had learned about his wicked games, where I lit the hope inside of me for him to come back. It all started from here and it was going to end here, where it should have months ago. I wouldn’t have gone through misery if only I had the guts to stand up for myself and confront him in his office for what he had done. If only I hadn’t cared, loved and hoped too much, I might have been able to save myself. Save my heart and soul from being broken beyond repair, but my unwavering love for him had me blinded with hopes of getting everything back to normal. What goes comes around. I would have asked him for a divorce then and there months back if I knew the hatred he held for me.
“We’re here,” the driver said. Without wasting time, I got out and Nora did the same. I could see the characteristic change in her, she was no more Nora my friend, but my lawyer. Her cold, calculating eyes and stiff posture would make anyone cower away in fear. I followed Nora inside the building with my head held high. I had let these people see me at my vulnerable stage months back, but things had changed and so had I.
“We are here for Mr. Joshua Morris. He is expecting us,” Nora informed the receptionist.
“Just a moment, Miss.” The receptionist made a call while she looked at me curiously. Having talked a few minutes on the phone, she told us that someone would be coming to escort us. We waited just a few minutes before I heard a familiar voice.
“Eunice.” Her voice was still the same. Her polite tone was laced with concern and sadness. I looked up to meet her eyes. Serena stood there, her eyes glistening with tears. She took a few steps towards me and embraced me in a hug.
“I am sorry for all of this,” she whispered. “I should have done something, protected you from all of this. If only I wouldn’t have told you to wait for him, you could have been saved from such pain and misery. Forgive me for holding you back.” Her voice was cracking and I knew she was on the verge of crying and letting it all out. My arms encircled her, embracing her like she did to me. Moving my hand up and down on her back, I comforted her.
“It’s all right, Serena. This was meant to happen. It was just delayed. Let’s not give others something to look at.” I moved away from her, and Nora looked at us with warmth in her eyes.
“Let’s go,” I said with a fake smile on my lips. We made our way towards the elevator while curious people stared at us. As soon as we were enclosed in the privacy of the elevator, Serena looked at us, wiping away the tears that were welled up in her eyes.
“I’m sorry for all that happened and what you had to go through,” she said once again, looking at me.
“Don’t be like that, Serena, it was never your fault. I made the choice and you have nothing to be sorry about. You didn’t sleep with him, you didn’t destroy my marriage. It was all his doing. You couldn’t have prevented it.” I didn’t feel the stress and trauma of going through this divorce. Why should I? It had already ended the day Elle died. There was no hope for us. The elevator pinged, telling us of our arrival.
“He’s in the conference room waiting with his lawyer,” Serena informed us while leading the way. As we came closer to the conference room, I saw Alex coming out. His eyes were glued to me, sympathy lurking within them. He tried his best to do whatever he could to bring him back, but some things were meant to happen. Taking a few strides towards me, he pulled me in a hug. I didn’t want him to apologize; it wasn’t his battle, but mine, and mine alone. A battle that I have lost with losing him forever.
“It’s all right. Everything is going to turn all right and good,” I said before stepping away from him. Nora gave him a nod, and with that she walked forward with me in tow. Serena stood at the door, which was wide open for us to enter. Alex came inside with us. Once inside, my eyes fell upon him. His green eyes had turned dull, his face unshaven, and the dark circles under his eyes were very obvious. For a moment I would have pitied him, but I couldn’t. He wished for this, he brought this upon us and him.
“Mrs. Morris.” The man beside him stood up to greet us. Joshua’s eyes were glued to the table, never moving to acknowledge us. “And you must be Miss Nora Newman, her lawyer?” he asked.
“Yes, that is me,” Nora said confidently.
“I am Jackson Greer, Mr. Morris’s lawyer,” he introduced himself. Still Joshua’s eyes didn’t move to look at us.
“Shall we get started?” Jackson asked.
“Yes, we shall begin.” This time I answered with confidence strengthening my voice. At this I saw Joshua shift. Taking the seat directly opposite him, I took him in. He was no more the man I once loved, to whom I gave my heart. He was just an outer shell of the same person I fell in love with.
“Mrs. Morris, my client, Mr. Morris, has agreed to this divorce. However, he wishes to bring some changes in the terms you have given,” Jackson said, making me look at Joshua intensely.
What game was he now playing? My terms were as simple as possible, something that every man wished for. I didn’t want anything from him, no alimony, no money, or apology—nothing. All I asked was to be set free from this bond of marriage. Before Nora could say something, I interrupted her.
“What are they?” I asked while looking at Joshua, whose eyes were still downcast.
“Mr. Morris would like for you to have the house he currently resides in. He would like to give you all rights to it. In addition to this, he would like to give half the net worth of his belongings. In addition to this, he wills you to take anything you wish from him.” Jackson ended, producing the papers with new terms. So this is it, he’s willing to lose his wealth as an act of what—apology, being guilty, or being ashamed? Was it his plan to make me feel better, to buy my apology and forgiveness, if he asked for it?
“I don’t accept them,” I said loud and clear, forcing him to look up. “My terms were already set, I have no desire to change them. I would like this divorce to continue on the terms I previously asked for. I have no need for his belongings and his money, Mr. Jackson.” All eyes were on me except his as I spoke.
“My client wishes to have this divorce on her own terms, Mr. Jackson. Thus, it would be preferable if your client understands this.” Nora’s voice was stern and intimidating. Silence prevailed in the room, now all eyes on him.
“I insist…you take…these…Eunice.” His voice was hoarse and rough. For the very first time his dull green eyes stared in mine.
They were filled with guilt and regret. He was ashamed of himself.
“I can’t take away the sufferings I have inflicted upon you, nor the pain I have made you suffer. So please, I insist you to accept this token for all that you have suffered.” His eyes stared deep into my soul. We looked at each other in utter silence.
“I won’t. I would never take these things. Nothing can ever sum up to what I have suffered, neither can anything reduce the pain I suffer.” This was my decision and mine alone. I didn’t need anything from him. “This divorce happens on my terms. You owe me this, Joshua. If you really want to give me something, then give me this divorce on my terms without anything.” I didn’t plead with him, I ordered him while anger boiled within me.
“Please, Eunice, don’t make this difficult. I wish to give this to you. Please just have them,” he pleaded, his voice giving away his emotions. “Nora, please tell her to take it.”
“It’s her decision, Joshua, neither mine, nor yours.” She wasn’t siding with him.
“I’m saying for the very last time, Joshua—I. Don’t. Want. Anything. From. You. Nothing. From. You.” I emphasized every word. It felt like he didn’t understand because he stood up with anger flashing in his eyes.
“Why can’t you just take it, Eunice? I’m not taking something from you, but giving you something for your own good. Why the hell can’t you take it?” he yelled. Anger inside of me surfaced but I didn’t let it show on my face.
“Because I don’t want any reminder of you in my life. I don’t wish to have anything with me that relates to you, because I hate you that much, Joshua. I can’t bear to have anything that ever belonged to you to remind me about you.” My voice was laced with venom. These were the same words that he once said to me. I wished for him to suffer the same way I did. I wanted these words to inflict the same pain on him as they did on me. Silence consumed us, Alex sitting far away from us while Serena stood not so far from him. They all looked at me with shock.
“Papers, Nora,” I asked her, controlling my anger. She hastily took them out, giving them to me. Picking up the pen beside Joshua’s hand, I signed them. Reversing them back, I pushed them in front of him.
“Sit down, Joshua,” I instructed and he listened. His eyes filled with pain.
“Sign them for me, Joshua. Sign these and free me from you…let me go. Free me…from my sufferings and any…further pain.” I controlled my voice so it came out polite but it didn’t. He looked at me with those tear-welled eyes. The more I looked into them, the more I could feel my walls breaking down. I looked away from him to save myself from the pain he felt.
“Mr. Morris, I think we should look at them before signing them,” Jackson interrupted.
“There is…no need for it.” Joshua’s voice came out meek. Taking the pen, he looked at me for the last time before signing them off and freeing us from each other.
“It is…done,” he said, setting the pen down. I looked at him to see tears rolling down his cheeks. Nora took the papers, assessing them for one last time.
“You are a free woman from today onwards, Eunice,” she said, telling me the news. “Our work here is finished.” She grabbed her things. I stood up, looking away from a heartbroken Joshua, whose eyes never left mine. Serena came forward, bidding her goodbyes. Alex hugged me once again as we moved out of the conference room. I looked behind for the very last time, looking into those painful, broken eyes.
“Goodbye, Joshua.” My voice betrayed me. “Goodbye.” His eyes never left mine as I said this, only more tears formed in his. Closing my eyes, I turned and walked out of there. This was the end. From today onward, there wasn’t anything left that bound me to him. I was no more his and he wasn’t mine anymore. We were now on our own separate ways.
Chapter 20
Joshua
Her words cut me deep. I remembered saying the same to her. Was this what she had felt, like a knife slashing her heart? It didn’t matter that I cried in front of people but the fact that it was over got to me. My marriage was over, the divorce done for her and only her. She wanted me to let go and I did, but my heart and soul didn’t. Her voice was filled with so much anger and hatred that it broke me internally. Was this how she felt for the past so many months when she was with me?
I don’t want any reminder of you in my life.
Those words kept hitting me again and again, stabbing me right in the heart. This was my entire mistake. I didn’t wish to let her go without giving her most of what I owned; I had every intention to give it to her but her hatred shook me from the inside. I couldn’t survive with the knowledge that I had let her go like that, penniless. Yet, I did let her go like that because all she desired was to get rid of me and my memories. I couldn’t stop her because I couldn’t see her in pain anymore. I loved her and always will, and if setting her free from my memories would help her to get rid of her pain, then I would let her free from the cage of my memories.
“Mr. Morris? Shall I leave?” Jackson asked. I nodded to him. Alex still stood there, looking at me with a mixture of anger and pity. Serena had walked out beside Eunice.
Eunice was now gone, gone from my life. There wasn’t anything left anymore that held me to her, bound me to her. It was over. I had lost her today. My wedding ring weighed heavily on my hand, I couldn’t take it off. It gave me the hope that there was still a chance for me, but it was gone now. I slid it off my finger as tears rolled down my cheek. I cried in pain for Eunice, wishing that I could have got that one last chance with her. I wished that Anne wasn’t pregnant, at least then I could have had a chance to get her back. I wished to rewind my life and take back my words and actions. I wished to have never hurt her but it was all vain. I had done it, I had destroyed my marriage, I had destroyed her and us.
“Joshua,” Alex called from beside me. “It’s over, friend.” Why does it hurt so much to know that it’s over?
“Do you want me to drop you home?” he asked, concerned. I nodded willingly; I just wanted to be left isolated, relive some good memories between her and me. I wanted to lie on my bed and think about all the sweet times I had spent with her, how she changed me for good, and how I had destroyed her. I wanted to grieve for what I had lost today.
“Come on.” He pulled me from my seat and walked out. I followed him out like the dead person I was. My surroundings didn’t faze me. I was on my own in my small world where her hateful eyes haunted me. All the way back I couldn’t remember anything but her cold eyes. Alex dragged me out of the car, leaving me all alone in the house that I lived in.
“What would it take it to make it a home again?” I asked myself.
Her and only her, my subconscious mind told me. It was always going to be her and always her.
I lay in our bedroom looking up the ceiling with a bottle of whisky in my hand. I took drink after drink until all I could remember was her. I had come to the point where I was hallucinating her. I tried to reach for her only to have her disappear in front of me. Tears never stopped, my eyes turned swollen, and red.
We were over was the last thought before I let sleep take over my tired and broken self.
***
Two weeks later…
“Sit down, Joshua.” The rough voice of Mr. Brad Edgings didn’t sound pleased at all. Settling myself down in the seat in front of him, I could see his calculating eyes assessing me. I hadn’t expected to be here at all, I was still trying to gain control over my life.
“So you want to marry Anne?” he questioned, his voice sounding cold. Ever since I had come here, I hadn’t seen him giving away any emotions, though I had seen him happy in the past. I just nodded. The laughter filtered in from the other room, making his eyes shift there. He stood up and walked towards the door and shut it. His eyes looked through mine, telling me about his displeasure.
“You aren’t a man of many words, I see?” he asked, sitting back down.
“Yes sir.” My voice was tensed. I was scared to face Anne’s father and his wrath for destroy
ing his daughter’s future.
“I’m not proud of my daughter and her choices,” he said roughly, seeming distant.
“I’m not too proud of my choices either, sir,” I said with regret.
“You know I can’t look at my best friend now, or talk to him freely, without feeling guilty. I can’t go on like nothing has happened.” I knew he was talking about Eunice’s father. “My daughter has brought nothing but shame to my name. I’m not at all happy about what has happened, Joshua. Do you know I am Eunice’s godfather?” he asked with pain in his eyes. Standing up, he made himself a drink and stood there gazing into its depths.
“I haven’t had the guts to look in her eyes. I can’t call her because I’m so ashamed of my daughter. I’m disgusted by what you have done and what my daughter let herself be dragged into. My heart aches for Eunice, she’s like my daughter, and it hurts me to know that my own blood has destroyed her house.” He paused, giving me a glare.
“When her parents told me the truth about what happened after coming back from the hospital, her father and I wished to beat you to death. Jack was so broken after seeing his daughter in such a position that it broke me too. It was Eunice who asked us not to go after you and beat the shit out of you. If it hadn’t been for her, I don’t think you’d be alive, Joshua. Do you understand that?” His voice boomed with anger.
“I do…I do…understand…sir.” I could feel the tears glistening in my eyes. Old wounds were being ripped open with his words.