Their hard work on the farm meant it could now be left without any harm coming to it, so now was the perfect time to stop and take stock, to start putting some sort of financial future in place and although he tried to stop himself thinking it, he meant for both of them. Jenny however had given no thought to such a permanent arrangement.
He had been disappointed to find Jenny had been unable to match his enthusiasm for the trip but he had stoically countered every excuse she had thought up until she had run out of ideas. This time it seemed he was unwilling to let her have her way and stay on her own at the farm. Instead he had insisted with desperate joviality that she just had to see the sights of London, that she would feel refreshed and energised by the vibrancy of the city.
It was a joviality that masked an implacable will and Jenny had felt her heart plummet at Jasper’s obvious enthusiasm for the trip. She couldn’t possibly admit to him what her real objections were, that she knew she would feel too far away, would be too far away from Jimmy. How would she manage without being able to sneak away and secretly watch him?
Even now, she hadn’t been able to find an excuse to get away and spy on Jimmy for a few days and she was getting anxious. Like a rat in a maze her mind had darted about trying to find a convincing excuse to stay at the farm instead of going to London.
Sitting opposite Jasper at the kitchen table she looked at his smiling face and was not deluded. There was a streak of pure steel about him these days and she felt her frustration turn to a tiny flare of full-scale hatred in that moment. Surely he hadn’t guessed her secret habit?
The hatred faded as suddenly as it had appeared. How could she hate Jasper? He was her saviour, the other half of her tattered soul. It was with a feeling of defeat she wearily agreed to go with him to London.
Jasper sang as he turned his car out of the farm lane next morning with Jenny sitting beside him. He was hoping she would come round, hoping she could find some sense of adventure in their journey so, resolutely ignoring her sullen mood, he turned his mind to planning the next step of his new life. The next thing to go would have to be his car.
Although he loved this large and expensive symbol of his success he knew it was on borrowed time. It was now a liability in these narrow lanes and would have to be replaced with something more low key. His mind ranged enjoyably over all the possible vehicles for the job as, humming under his breath, he drove on, determinedly oblivious of Jenny’s reproachful silence beside him. After all, he knew what he was doing was for her own good, wasn’t it?
Matty Tregoning had been taking advantage of these soft autumn mornings to try to augment his slender income before the onset of the October storms kept his small boat out of action. It would soon be time for him to relocate and moor his boat in the big harbour at Tregorran for the winter. This would enable him to still take her out on whatever calm days the winter sea allowed.
Most of the crabbing boats relocated to Tregorran if they could find a berth before the tiny harbour of Porthcarn was sealed off from the random fury of the winter sea for its own protection. Every October a mobile crane lifted and slotted huge baulks, squared-off tree trunks, across the narrow entry to the harbour to prevent the sandy basin inside the walls from being scoured down to bare rock by the storms.
Seawater still belched through the narrow gaps between the large wooden beams but its impetus was weakened and the few boats still left at anchor were protected from being smashed to matchwood by the worst of the weather. The protection would stay until the following March when the baulks were lifted out again.
It had not long been light when Matty stopped his boat over his most productive fishing ground off Pendew Point, just below Jimmy Fisher’s crumbling farmhouse, to haul in his lobster pots and try a bit of hand-lining. He was just reminding himself he would need to renew his fishing permit at New Year when he became aware of movement on the cliff top and straightening up he was startled to see Sunny Smith leaving Fisher’s farm. Even worse, a naked Jimmy Fisher was following her.
So that’s how it is, is it, he thought frowning. For Pete’s sake, what is his problem? The fucker never seems to have any clothes on when I see him! An’ he don’t seem to mind who sees him neither, he thought with asperity. It was obvious to Matty that their attention was so fixed on one another they were totally oblivious to the fact that someone might see them, even though Jimmy at least must have known there would always be boats out on the sea.
He could see Jimmy was laughing now, playfully holding onto Sunny’s arm and obviously trying to stop her from getting into her car. Sunny too was laughing and though apparently struggling to leave it was clear to Matty that she was reluctant to go.
He was unaware that his face froze as Jimmy swept Sunny up in tight embrace and kissed her lingeringly. Even from this distance Matty could almost feel the embrace himself and his experience of women told him how Sunny’s body must feel against Jimmy’s. He tried not to be aroused by his inadvertent voyeurism, concentrating instead on his feeling of betrayal.
For there was no doubt he was experiencing a pang of disappointment at the behaviour of his ‘goddess’ who was apparently not so wise after all. Jimmy fucking Fisher, for God’s sake! He felt he could have accepted anyone but Jimmy Fisher pawing her.
It was too much for him to bear and he gave way to the deep-flowing dictates of the chapel DNA of his village, indulging in a censoriousness more suited to the moral values of the older members of the congregation. It annoyed him that Sunny and Jimmy were much too absorbed in each other to realise he watched them. He wanted them to see him, wanted them to know he knew about them and their sordid liaison because of course it was sordid, wasn’t it? Things always were where Jimmy Fisher was concerned.
He wondered where Jenny Lawrence was, the poor, abused woman. How had the bastard managed to get rid of her so he could go around shagging other women in his own home? He felt he should make enquiries. What if Fisher had done away with her? He wouldn’t put it past him.
When Sunny finally managed to drive away, Matty decided he would definitely keep a close eye on her, and on Jimmy. Sunny needed to be protected from people like Fisher and who knows what he had done with Jenny? Matty determined he was just the bloke for the job of finding out.
Day had started well before dawn for Sunny and Jimmy, in fact it would be more true to say that night hadn’t really happened at all for them. Each of them was too aware of another, exciting presence in Jimmy’s bed to be able to sleep much. They had dozed lightly, exhausted by sex, until one or the other, once more aroused by the novelty of a new body lying entwined with their own, started the process of making love again.
It had been nearly dawn when Sunny had finally woken up to find herself looking straight into Jimmy’s deep amber eyes smiling into hers. She scrunched herself up, smiling back at him, aware of a novel feeling of satiated bliss. How come I didn’t notice before what an amazing colour his eyes are? They are so warm, she thought, and so they were ... for her. She was not to know they could also turn dark and infinitely threatening.
This morning, despite feeling physically exhausted, she felt more emotionally alive than she had for a very long time. She felt released, like the Sleeping Princess in the fairytale, only it had taken somewhat more than a chaste kiss to awaken her. She blushed now at the memory of their, often frenzied, lovemaking. Jimmy, who had been watching her face silently, saw the colour rise in her cheeks.
‘You’re blushing!’ He laughed, delighted and ready to tease.
‘No, I’m not ... I’m just hot.’ She hid the lie behind a smile and tried to sit up to avoid his intense scrutiny.
‘You're telling me!’ He laughed, pleased by her unintentional double entendre. ‘Oh no you don’t missy,’ he said, grabbing her round the waist as she made to get out of bed and dragging her back down beside him, ‘I know exactly what you were thinking.’
She raised her eyebrows at him in query, trying to put him off by appearing serious.
‘Yo
u were remembering last night.’ He snuggled his face into her neck to kiss it and she laughed, an uninhibited and most unladylike laugh, at being caught out, surprised by how well he knew her already. She would never know how many women had honed such apparent perspicacity.
For a moment they both lay quiet, remembering the excesses of the night before as Jimmy lightly rubbed his lips back and forth on her skin, savouring its velvety softness against them. Now, Sunny just wanted to be held close in silence and he had not the strength to do anything else.
‘I must go to work, Jimmy,’ she said eventually as the day got gradually lighter, wishing she didn’t have to go.
‘Oh no … ’ he groaned, rolling onto his back and flinging his arm out over the bedside with extravagant petulance. ‘Why must you? I want you to spend the day here … with me.’ His mouth took on the sulky schoolboy look and she laughed at such cuteness.
‘I’m sorry, Jimmy, but I wouldn’t feel right letting Edward down.’ It was true, she may hate the thought of work today but Edward had been a true and kind friend to her and she owed him.
Stuff Edward fucking Hervey, Jimmy had almost snarled in a moment of true self before recollecting who he was with. To tell the truth he was a little in awe of Sunny and in spite of her wantonness in bed had even begun to think of her as someone rather more genteel than he was used to.
She would have been surprised at his view of her had she known. Why he should have got that impression he could not fathom unless it was something to do with the gentleness of her nature. It was an idea he could not shake off and he could not help treating her with unaccustomed tenderness.
He had to admit to himself though he did rather like playing this new role, it gave him an unexpected feeling of nobility. He also had to admit to himself that if this was love, and he was now almost certain it was, it made him feel fucking marvellous.
Even so, he still didn’t want to have to share her with Edward sodding Hervey, and especially not today of all days. He would be able to make her change her mind, he was sure of it. Today she would not be going in to work, today she would have to phone in sick. It came as a serious surprise to him to find he could not persuade her to do that and that she was not as malleable as he had thought.
It was true they had both found it difficult to leave the bed and their communal nakedness, but once Sunny was in the shower she found it easier to fulfil her commitment to Edward and nothing Jimmy said or did could persuade her to change her mind. So it was with well-hidden ill grace that he got out of bed to make her some breakfast as she got ready to go, both to impress her and to hang onto her for a bit longer.
It amused her to find a naked man unselfconsciously making tea and toast when she came out of the bathroom but she sat down at the table and spread some honey on her toast without comment. Jimmy seemed to have forgotten he had no clothes on. He leaned over her to pass her tea to her and she knew a repeat of last night would start if she didn’t get away soon.
‘Now I really do have to go,’ she said with a last hasty gulp of tea, moving round the table to kiss him goodbye. The part of him that had given her so much pleasure last night now sat flaccid against his thighs and she gave it a gentle tug as she lightly kissed his upturned mouth and dodged his grabbing arms.
He caught up with her at her car door and playfully tried to pull her back into the house before kissing her passionately, forcing his tongue inside her mouth. That’ll give her something to remember me by today, he thought. Couldn’t imagine Mr. Namby-Pamby Edward Hervey doing that!
‘I’ll see you tonight then? Here, right?’ he shouted over the noise of the engine. They were less questions than statements, less statements than demands.
She arrived at the shop just before nine ‘o’clock. Right on time, she thought, that was lucky. Well, not lucky, nothing short of miraculous really, she chuckled to herself. Edward was late so, not having any keys for the shop, she leant against the wall in the sun and waited for him, allowing herself the luxury of recapping the events of the previous night with such success that she felt the slow burn of desire low in her gut.
Despite the speed and urgency of that first encounter in front of the fire, she had nonetheless managed to match Jimmy with her own climax, his cries of ecstasy exciting her to a fever-pitch that was completely new to her. Now, she could almost conjure up the sensation again.
Oh, come on, get a grip, you’ve got work to do, she thought trying to shake herself out of her erotic daydream. She glanced at her watch, wondering what the time was and, more importantly, where Edward was. A slow feeling of unease was beginning to rise in her. He was never late.
She began to feel guilty and wondered why she should. Surely his lateness couldn’t have anything to do with her, with her going to see Jimmy? No, of course it couldn’t. Why should it? That was just being conceited, wasn’t it? Despite this reasoning, a cold dread had taken hold of her insides as she saw, not just a possibility of this but a definite likelihood that somehow she was, in some way, responsible for Edward’s lateness this morning.
When he still hadn’t arrived by 9.30 she became seriously alarmed and returning to her car she drove much too fast back to Porthcarn, hoping she would meet his car coming towards her on the winding coast road.
The first thing she noticed as she ran up the steps to Edward’s cottage was that the curtains were open. Oh good, at least he’s not still in bed, she thought thankfully. She knocked on the door. When no one answered she peered through the glass, shading her eyes with her hand.
There was no sign of Edward in the lounge. There were a couple of empty wine bottles on the kitchen work surface and it looked as if someone had spilled something on the carpet, there was a large discolouration in front of a chair near the window. Perhaps he had had someone round for dinner? But where was he now? She knocked again, more loudly than she had intended as her panic translated itself in her knocking.
It was with relief that she saw him coming towards her from the staircase leading down to his ground floor bedroom, but the feeling was short-lived as he drew nearer and she took in the tousled hair and more than usually crumpled clothing. His face looked grey, his chin was apparently covered in iron filings and she had seen better eyes on a bloodhound.
‘Edward! What on earth is the matter ... are you ill?’ she said when he opened the door. Despite her sleepless night and concerned expression Sunny had a subtle glow about her that immediately told Edward all he had dreaded knowing. He avoided her eyes and mumbled something about being unwell, which after all was perfectly true. He was unwell, even if it was by his own hand.
He had drunk enough red wine to make himself pass out and when he came round he had been instantly sick, which although unfortunate for the carpet, had been fortunate for him and had helped his recovery process a little. He was unused to drinking large amounts of alcohol and he knew his hangover was just too overpowering to allow him to work today. In fact the way he felt now he wondered if he’d ever be able to work again.
‘Yes, no ... yes.’ He wondered whether to say something to her about why he was in this state before deciding against it. She might just be sympathetic again and he was frightened he would admit everything to her, tell her how much he loved her, wanted her, needed her, all that sort of stuff, and that, he knew, would be a mistake. Look what had happened when he had told Francesca, she had used the knowledge to destroy him. No, I’ll just say I’m ill and that’s it, he decided.
‘I’m not well … I just need to get back to bed.’ That’s a laugh, he thought. He had not been to bed at all and had had to get up off the bathroom floor to answer Sunny’s knocking. He had felt fairly safe on the cool floor of the bathroom even though he had still felt the need to hold on to it tightly.
‘I won’t open the shop today ... don’t worry, I’ll still pay your wages.’ He rubbed his forehead hard to try to ease the pounding inside it. And I expect you’d like to get back to bed too, he thought bitterly to himself.
‘Edwar
d, you can’t just not open the shop!’ Ignoring the fact she was his employee and it was hardly her place to chastise her boss and organise his business, she still felt she had to say something.
‘Edward, please! The shop is your livelihood and besides we could have people coming in for the books we’ve ordered for them. Customers will stop coming if your opening times become too erratic.’
She stopped and stared at him, expecting him to become somehow suddenly businesslike. It didn’t happen and he continued to look as if just standing up was beyond him so she tried another tack.
‘Look, you go back to bed and I’ll run the shop. I’ll pop in tonight to see how you are and make you something to eat. Shall I make your something now?’
It did not occur to her as she spoke that Jimmy might not understand why she felt the need to look after her employer, she only thought about that later. Just at this moment she had belatedly realised the empty wine bottles might have a lot to do with Edward’s indisposition so, when he refused to eat anything, she gave him some painkillers and made him a cup of tea instead.
Then, insisting he lie down on the couch, she covered him with a rug and placed a bucket beside him as an afterthought. Even if his illness was of his own doing she felt some sympathy for him thinking if he felt as unwell as he looked he must feel very ill indeed.
That day Sunny ran Edward’s bookshop and felt glad she had insisted on doing it. It was not just a way of repaying Edward’s care of her when she was laid-up with her injured ankle but it was also a productive day and she felt more alive than she had in ages. The customers had good-naturedly responded to her gentle, cheerful sales technique and she had easily encouraged them to buy books.
She decided to suggest to Edward that it might be a good idea to have some sort of loyalty scheme for regular customers; but always, at the back of her mind, was the thought of the coming night with Jimmy.
She rang him once but there was no answer and she wondered if he was working in his studio. All at once she remembered she had not yet seen the picture he had done of her the night before, the ostensible reason for her visit to him. Somehow it had been forgotten in their discovery of one another.
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