“She has to open her door sometime, and when she does I’ll tell her what I heard. I will. I’ll make her listen even if I have to find duct tape somewhere and gag her and tie her to her chair.”
“You might have to,” Braxton said grimly.
“What a mess,” Jeremy exclaimed, then sitting back at his desk, he dropped his chin into his hands and let out a heavy sigh.
“I just hate that she’s hurting, I just hate it,” Braxton said, shaking his head. “I have to make this better, but how? This is going to be so hard, so fucking hard.”
As the words left his lips, out of the blue the line that had been haunting him for years echoed through his brain.
In a way he was like the country he lived in, everything came too easily to him, but at least he knew it.
“Not anymore,” he muttered.
“I’m sorry?” Jeremy said. “What did you say?”
Braxton shook his head, then ran his fingers through his hair before looking at Jeremy’s earnest, worried face.
“Throughout my life things have fallen into place, both personally and professionally, while I’ve watched others struggle, but now, suddenly, what I want most in the world is slipping from my grasp. The one thing I care about above everything else has become the most difficult to get and to keep. How can that be?”
“That’s love for you,” Jeremy said, sound like a wise old soul, “and I think, because love really is the key to happiness, it can’t be taken for granted, and that’s what makes it so hard to hold onto.”
“What did you just say?”
“I’ll put it another way,” Jeremy said thoughtfully. “Maybe we’re not allowed to have it until we know how precious it is. I mean, really know, not just think we know.”
“Holy crap. How the hell can someone your age come out with something like that?”
“Now you’re embarrassing me,” Jeremy said, dropping his eyes. “The point is that lady in there who I care for very much is dying a thousand painful deaths. We have to do something. Over the last week I’ve never seen her so happy. Besides finding the man of her dreams, sorry,” he said, pausing and looking up at Braxton, “maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but I’m sure that’s how she sees you, or rather, saw you. Anyway, besides that, did you know she also just found the house of her dreams?”
“Hang on,” Braxton frowned.
“What?”
“You’ve just given me an idea. I’m not sure how we can pull it off, but it might work.”
“Tell me, I’ll do whatever it takes,” Jeremy said eagerly.
“I’ve made an offer on a house in Pacific Palisades. It’s on Mayfield, it has incredible ocean views and if I can get her over there—”
“Wait a second,” Jeremy said, holding up his hand. “Mayfield! I’m sure that’s the street Amanda’s house is on, the one I just mentioned. Her dream house.”
“No, it couldn’t be,” Braxton replied. “I’m sure she told me the home she looked at is north of Santa Monica.”
“Hello!” Jeremy exclaimed, throwing up his hands. “Pacific Palisades is north of Santa Monica, and the house is on Mayfield, I’m positive. It’s not listed, but Jack Mulgrew got her in.”
“The house I’ve made the offer on isn’t listed either!” Braxton exclaimed. “The moment I saw it I loved it, and when I walked inside all I could think about was Amanda and me living there together.”
“Yikes! Goosebumps,” Jeremy declared. “It’s the same flipping house!”
“That’s just weird,” Braxton frowned. “Totally weird.”
“Be that as it may, that house, that’s how we can get through to her,” Jeremy said excitedly. “I don’t know what your idea is, but tell me what you think about this.”
* * *
It was over an hour later that Amanda emerged from her office, and sitting at his desk, Jeremy studied her carefully. Her eyes were red and puffy and full of pain, but he could also see her determination to regroup and find her way back to some kind of functionality.
“Tea?” he asked softly.
“Yes,” she nodded.
“I’ve cancelled everything.”
“Thank you, Jeremy.”
“Are you going home?”
“I’m not sure where I’m going, but definitely not home. I can’t stand the thought of walking into that big empty house. I’m sure you know what happened, right? That fucking actor has been seeing me just because… shit, I can’t talk about it.”
“You don’t have to talk about it,” he said steadily, “and actually, you don’t have to go home either. There’s… no, never mind.”
“What?” she pressed.
“There is someplace else you should go, but you probably don’t want to be bothered with it,” he said as he rose from his desk. “I’ll fetch your tea.”
“Jeremy, what were you going to say? You have to tell me now,” she said firmly, playing into his hands.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, dammit, tell me,” she demanded.
“It’s about the house on Mayfield, and it is kind of important.”
“What about it?”
“Apparently there’s another offer on it.”
“Fuck. This day just keeps getting better,” she said sarcastically.
“It’s not as bad as you think,” Jeremy said slowly. “It might actually be good news.”
“How can it be good news? What’s going on?”
“Jack said he’s arranged for the owner to meet you. It’s unconventional to do that, but he’s sure once this person talks to you, she’ll be swayed to accept your offer over the other one, and it will give you a chance to discuss the furniture as well.”
“The furniture?”
“The seller may not want to keep it all. The thing is…”
“The thing is what?”
“The seller is only here for the day, but like I said, you probably don’t want to be bothered.”
“You’re wrong. I do want to be bothered,” Amanda said vehemently. “I love that house, and I’ve been wanting to move for ages, it’s just the circumstances,” she said under her breath. “I mean, I had ideas, but now…”
Worried she might change her mind, Jeremy stepped around his desk and grabbed her arms.
“Let’s go together. After everything you told me about it, I’m dying to see it, and I’ll drive.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you’re still not normal, and you shouldn’t sit behind the wheel, that’s why.”
“Not normal?” she said, raising her eyebrows.
“Not normal, as in, you’re still upset, I can tell. Stop stalling, woman. Go and wash your face. I’ll call Jack.”
“I am still in charge around here.”
“Not when you’re not normal,” he quipped.
“Are you sure the owner will be there?”
“Yes, yes, Jack said all day. He said I should call him when we’re leaving, and he’s even given me the lockbox code in case she has to run out and we beat him there. With this other offer in the air, I wouldn’t be standing here wasting time arguing with me.”
“You’re probably right,” she sighed. “Okay, call him and let’s get out of here. It’ll be worth the drive just to smell the ocean.”
* * *
Braxton had been sitting in a coffee shop in Pacific Palisades waiting to hear from Jeremy. He’d wait there all day if he had to, and when his phone chimed, announcing a text, he urgently grabbed it and opened the message.
We’ll be there in thirty minutes.
Letting out a long sigh, Braxton responded.
Great. See you there.
The home was only five minutes away, but not wanting Amanda to see his car when she arrived, he planned on parking down a side street then jogging back to the house. Finishing his drink, he left the coffee shop and stepped outside. The sun was bright and high in the sky, and he hoped it was a positive omen. Climbing into his car, he started the powerful engine and pu
lled out from the curb, and as he drove through the small village he could feel his heart beating against his chest. He’d done nothing wrong, but could he convince Amanda of that? Even with Jeremy there to corroborate his story, there were no guarantees.
“Thank goodness for you, Jeremy,” he mumbled. “At least you’re giving me a fighting chance.”
Turning off the main road, he drove a short distance, then rolled around a corner toward the house. As he passed it, he had to smile. It was charming, and he noticed how private it was. Set back from the sidewalk, sitting on a double lot with a tall hedge on one side and a brick wall on the other, the house had a decided sense of separation from its neighbors. The further he went down the block, the more he realized the neighborhood resembled Amanda’s famous street. The homes were immaculate with expansive grounds. Reaching the end, he turned the corner and parked, then he locked up his car and started to jog.
After an in-depth conversation with Jeremy, Jack had agreed to be involved and had given him the combination to the lockbox, but told him he’d still have to meet them there. Braxton hadn’t been surprised. Jack was a realtor and had a responsibility to be present when potential buyers viewed a property, and as Braxton approached he saw he was the first to arrive. Catching his breath, he opened the lockbox, let himself in, and wandered from room to room. He could see it all so clearly. The house was made for the two of them, but would Amanda listen to him? Would he and Jeremy be able to get through that thick head of hers? Wandering upstairs, he settled himself on a deck chair on the terrace and allowed himself to be mesmerized by the ocean. He’d been there a while when he finally heard the front door open and close. Though he’d been expecting her arrival, the sounds caught him off guard, and he felt an odd pulsing in his temples, but when he heard Amanda’s voice, a fierce resolve began to pump through his veins.
“I’m going upstairs, Jack.”
“I’m coming with you,” Jeremy said, much too loudly.
“Why are you shouting?” Braxton heard Amanda ask.
“No reason,” Jeremy replied.
“You’re acting very strangely.”
“Am I?”
“Yes, you are,” Amanda retorted.
Her voice sounded strained. It was clear her defensive edge had resurfaced, and hearing her footsteps coming down the hall, Braxton moved quickly to the side of the room so she wouldn’t see him immediately upon entering. Then, taking a deep breath, he readied himself for their confrontation.
Amanda’s heart was breaking. In every room she could see herself with Braxton, but she was determined to push on and see the house of her dreams a second time and not start crying, but it wasn’t easy.
“The master is in here,” she said, looking over her shoulder at Jeremy who was trailing behind her.
She walked in, then stopped, sniffing the air. Was that L’Occitane Cade? Was she so out of it she was imagining Braxton’s cologne? She heard the door close behind her, and turning around, she saw Jeremy leaning against it.
“Take a breath,” he said dramatically.
“Why?”
“Because I’m here,” Braxton softly announced.
Darting her eyes across the room, she saw him, larger than life and more handsome than ever, his piercing green eyes staring at her.
“What the hell?” she angrily demanded.
“You need to listen to me,” he said calmly, taking a step toward her.
“I don’t need to do anything of the sort! What is this, some kind of ambush?”
“Yes, it is, and you do need to listen to him,” Jeremy interjected. “You have this totally wrong.”
“What do you know about it?” she barked at him. “This narcissist,” she continued, flailing her arm in Braxton’s direction, “this playboy, has been using me. He’s been—”
“You’re wrong,” Jeremy said stridently. “I know everything about it, and you’re wrong.”
“What do you mean you know everything about it? How could you possibly know anything?”
“Amanda, you need to sit down, you need to stop firing questions, and you need to listen,” Braxton said, trying to control the desperation in his voice. “Five minutes, that’s all I ask. Please, just five minutes.”
As she stared at him, she felt a huge lump building in the back of her throat. It hurt, and it burned, and she knew speech would be almost impossible. Even if she could manage to utter something, she was afraid it would break open the dam and her tears would be unstoppable. Did he have to look so fucking gorgeous, and sincere, and hurt? So terribly hurt. Suddenly, all she wanted to do was throw herself against him and feel his arms around her, and she hated herself for it.
“Five minutes,” Jeremy repeated, breaking into her reverie.
Swallowing hard, she walked unsteadily to a chair near the window and sat down. Feeling weak, but still filled with angry pain, she dropped her hands in her lap and began twisting the folds of her skirt in her fingers.
“Thank you,” Braxton said gently as he moved toward her. “I didn’t tell you about One Autumn Day because Peter told me he was dealing with Erick Weintraub. I didn’t want to mention it, because I was afraid you would think I had asked you out for coffee because I was looking for your help. That was not my agenda, not for a minute,” he said earnestly. “My only desire has been getting to know you and spending time with you. I didn’t know we were meeting with you today until I was literally standing in the lobby. I was going to hide in the bathroom until Peter and Jim were in your office, then I was going to take off, and I was going to make sure they didn’t mention my name.”
“It’s all true,” Jeremy said. “I know, I was there. He thought he’d be seeing Erick. He had no idea you were involved, none, and when he found out he was totally freaked out. I heard him tell Peter Steinberg he didn’t want you to know that he was the actor attached to the script. He wasn’t after you for anything!”
“Thanks, Jeremy,” Braxton said, though not taking his eyes off Amanda. “I think I can take it from here.”
“Okay,” Jeremy said, but as he turned to head out the door, he paused and looked back at them. “I probably shouldn’t say this, but something is telling me I can’t leave until I do. Sorry if I’m crossing a line here, but Amanda, you have to listen to him. He loves you.”
A heavy silence permeated the room as Jeremy walked out, and though Amanda was still staring at her lap, Braxton could see her face; she was filled with conflict. Crossing the small space between them, he kneeled in front of her, and when she allowed him to take her hands, extricating them from the folds of her skirt, he knew they’d been able to reach her.
“I am so, so sorry you’ve been hurt,” he said tenderly, fighting his own rising emotions. “I don’t care about the script. I’ll burn the damn thing and delete it from my computer if I have to. I’ll do that to prove it means nothing, and you mean everything.”
“Braxton,” she whispered, as fresh tears began to spill down her face. “I don’t know what to say. I feel like a complete idiot for the second time today. I don’t know why I jumped to such a terrible conclusion. I should have known better, I should have trusted you. I’m the one who should be sorry, and I am, so very, truly sorry.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I totally understand how it looked. I do.”
“Can I ask? Was Jeremy right?” she whispered, gazing at him. “What he said when he left?”
“Yes, he was right, sweetheart. I do love you, I totally love you. I was buying this house because I wanted it for us. I know we’re just starting out, but that’s the truth. Do you remember what I said, I’ll always tell you the truth? I meant it.”
“Braxton,” she whispered. “I’ve never said this before…”
“Another first?”
“I feel the same,” she blubbered. “I love you too.”
“Come here, you precious thing,” he groaned, pulling her into his arms. “When I found out we were offering on the same property, I couldn’t believe it. Doesn’t it se
em like we’re supposed to make this thing work? Doesn’t it seem like it’s you and me, and this is to be our home?”
“It does,” she sniffled, pulling back and trying to wipe the wetness from her face as she stared at him.
“Why don’t we take the ultimate leap of faith and buy it together,” he suggested.
“You think?”
“Let me put it like this. I want to go to bed with you every night, and wake up with you every morning, week after week, and month after month.”
“You do?”
“I do, Amanda. We’ll probably hit speed bumps along the road, that’s inevitable, but I’ll just spank you through them.”
“What?”
“I was just kidding,” he grinned, “well, sort of.”
“This morning, when I thought we were over, I felt as if I was going to die. It was excruciating.”
“You know what that amazing assistant of yours told me?”
“What?”
“Maybe we’re not allowed to have love in our lives until we know how precious it is. Really know, not just think we know.”
“Jeremy said that?”
“He did, and when I thought I was losing you, that’s when I realized how much I treasure you. It was excruciating for me too. I was determined to make you see sense, so why don’t we jump off the cliff together? Buy this place and make it our own?”
“And turn that bonus room into a dungeon?” she said with a smile.
“That goes without saying,” he whispered.
“I want to, yes, please,” she nodded. “I love you, I love you so much.” Leaning into him, she closed her eyes and hugged him tightly.
“Sweetheart,” he murmured, “my precious sweetheart.”
“Braxton, please can I be your little girl again? I need to be.”
“Of course. When? Tonight? Tomorrow night? You just tell me.”
“Soon. I need to feel that thing… that safe thing.”
“I know what you mean,” he purred, tenderly stroking her back, “and I hate to say anything practical, but I guess we should call our realtors.”
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