by Caroline Lee
This time, though, the older man’s scowl crumbled a bit as he glanced at Jacob, and then Mae. He sighed, and bent over his breakfast. “She said no.” It was hard to hear around the mouthful of biscuit, and Tess exchanged glances with Cam, wondering if she’d misheard.
Her husband, as always, had no problem pushing for answers. “Who said no about what?”
Ian looked at Jacob once more, as if debating whether to explain in front of the boy, but then his shoulders drooped further. “I asked Agatha ta marry me, didn’t I? She said no.”
The sudden tightness around Tess’s belly matched the tightness in her chest, but for different reasons. She wanted her father-in-law to be happy, and he obviously wasn’t with this new development. She hadn’t even realized he’d been contemplating marriage, and wondered if Cam had known. Judging from the surprise in his expression—his face really was an open book—he didn’t.
“I’m sorry, Da. I didn’t realize…” The stiffness around her belly intensified until Tess had to bite her lip to keep from making noise. Cam liked to worry about her, and there was no need to bother him now. “Did she say why?”
Ian kept eating. “Her sister.”
“Agnes doesn’t want her sister marrying you?”
“No, Agatha just can’t stand the thought of leavin’ her twin. Rightfully so, I s’pose. They’ve been together their whole lives, after all.” Her father-in-law’s brogue got deeper when he was grumbling, but Tess couldn’t focus. “It was foolish of me to expect her ta leave Agnes, especially when I cannae offer her much.”
With a great whoosh, the pressure on Tess’s lower back released, and she couldn’t help the wince as she slowly exhaled. That one was really strong, but she couldn’t focus on the sensation, not with Mae trying to put jam on her own biscuit. Tess snatched the knife out of her daughter’s hand, knowing her jam would end up all over her tablecloth and floor.
“Could you move in with them, in town?”
“An’ leave ye and the kiddies out here all by yerself? Not with another grandchild on the way, I won’t. Ye need me.” Cam’s brows rose, and Tess was thankful that he—for once—didn’t say what was on his mind. They didn’t need Ian, true… but she loved the old grouch, and would miss him if he left the ranch.
“No, son, yer stuck with me. Agatha and I came to an arrangement. We’ll keep on the way things’ve been going, thank ye very much. Some stolen time, here and there.” He nodded, to let them know that he meant what he said. Another glance at Jacob, another mouthful of eggs, and then: “An’ maybe she’ll make an honest man outta me before we both die.”
“I don’t want you to die, Grandda.”
“Ain’t plannin’ on it, boy. What’ve ye got planned for today?”
“Dad is going to let me practice lassoing again! I got the stump a whole bunch of times, yesterday!”
The tightness was building in her lower back again, and Tess inhaled deeply, willing it to go away. She wouldn’t be able to stand another month of this constant pressure. This pregnancy had been different from her others, from almost the beginning, but she knew that each was different, and that her body was different with each one, as well. She was bigger, for instance, this time around, and Cam teased her about that too. He still thought it was funny his tiny little wife could bear his children.
Trying to ignore the tenseness of her muscles, she focused fondly on her husband across the table, sharing pointers with his father and their son. Jacob had been fathered by her first husband, who’d never even met the boy, but from the moment Cam had picked up her son out there on the Wyoming plains, the two were inseparable. In fact, when they’d finally discovered that they were pregnant again, and Tess had expressed hope it’d be a boy this time, so she could give him a son, Cam had been genuinely confused. Jake’s the best son a man could ask for, sweetheart. He’d kissed her brow then, and held her close, and she’d fallen asleep in his arms—as she’d done every night for five years—knowing that she was cherished.
Goodness, this contraction was strong. Trying to pay attention to what advice Ian was giving Jacob, she heard herself taking short, desperate gasps. The pressure was climbing up her back and sides, and making it hard to breathe. It wasn’t until she met Cam’s eyes, saw his thoughts as clear as day, that she knew the truth. This wasn’t a practice contraction.
He was by her side in a moment, taking her hand in his. He certainly was warm, wasn’t he? She gratefully leaned against his side until the pressure released, and she felt him exhale deeply along with her. He squeezed her hand. “Sorry, Jake. I think today I’ll stay with your mother in the house, if you don’t mind.”
Ian looked between the two of them, and she saw him counting quickly in his head. He knew the baby wasn’t due for another month, and saw the flash of worry in her father-in-law’s eyes the moment before he hid it and turned to her son. “I’ll take ye out to the barn, Jake. Think yer sister wants ta learn, too?”
Mae’s mouth was full of biscuit—and her face was smeared with jam—but she brightened. “I love horsies! Pick beans tomorrow!”
Her family cleaned the table, while she just sat holding Cam’s hand. Ian glanced at them once over his shoulder as he herded the children out the door, and she saw Cam nod gratefully to his father. Then he squeezed her hand. “He’ll send someone to get Annie and Molly when the time is right, too.”
“The time isn’t right at all, Cam!” She couldn’t help the way her voice rose, until she felt like she was wailing.
She brushed her hair back from her shoulder, and made soothing noises. “Maybe we counted wrong, sweetheart.”
“I didn’t.” The pressure began to build again, and it was alarmingly constant. It shouldn’t be constant, not this soon. “It’s too early.”
“Well then…” In one move, he’d swept her away from the table and into his arms. “It’s too early. We’ll deal with this together, sweetheart. Just like everything else.” She made a half-hearted protest that she could walk upstairs on her own, but he shushed her and squeezed her closer. Truthfully, she didn’t mind being carried, and he had a way of making her feel safe.
It wasn’t until he’d helped her change into a chemise and crawl back into bed, after he’d held her and rubbed her back through three more contractions, that she had to admit the truth. “This baby is coming, Cam.” It was too early, by at least a few weeks.
He was quiet for a long moment, and she wished that she could see his expression. But he was lying behind her on the bed, his boots off, rubbing her lower back. After too many heartbeats, he pulled her back against him, nestling her rear end against his hips, and resting his big hand on her swollen, tight belly. How many nights had he talked to this child? How many times had he rested his cheek against her womb, and told his son or daughter how much he or she was loved, and how much fun they were all going to have together? How many kisses, how many encouraging jokes, had he given to her belly?
And now, she felt him caressing her tight muscles, and felt his fear as strongly as hers. There was a very real chance they weren’t going to get the chance to meet this baby, after all.
Instead of agreeing with her, though, he kissed the back of her neck. It was his favorite place to nuzzle, and felt oh-so-familiar. “Everything will be alright, Tessa.” She felt his breath against her skin, and shivered.
“Promise?” It was all she could think of, as she placed her hand over his and twined their fingers together and squeezed.
“I promise.”
The following morning, he was regretting making that promise. Tessa was drained, and there was nothing that he could do; nothing to make it alright. The contractions had come closer together throughout the day yesterday, and she’d done her best to pretend everything was normal, for the kids at least. But he’d sent Jake and Mae with Ian over to the Barker ranch a little before noon. Both of them were close with Molly and Ash’s kids, and he knew Ash would let them stay. Ian returned with Molly and Annie, who’d helped Tessa through Mae�
�s birth, but by evening, they were just sitting around waiting, as well.
His best friend Nate had come over yesterday evening, for some company. Nate was Ash’s brother, and his wife Wendy had lost every baby they’d tried for, so he was a solid, supportive friend when Cam needed one. But overall, Cam tried to be there with Tessa.
At one point, during the dark hours of the night, they’d all found someplace to rest, and Cam held Tessa alone in their room. She’d been moaning in their bed through another contraction, and he’d done what he could to make her comfortable. The windows were open, but the summer night air wasn’t cooling either of them down; her skin shone with sweat. “Cam.” He’d barely heard her; her voice was so weak. “Cam, I want to sleep. I need to sleep.”
“I know, sweetheart, I know.” He’d stroked her hair, wanting to pull her closer, but not willing to make her more uncomfortable.
“Can’t you knock me out, or something? Please? I’m… so tired.”
He’d smiled, briefly. She managed to sound so disgruntled. “No, sweetheart. I know you’re tired, but I’m not going to hit you.”
Her fingers had dug into his arm then, and his gaze flew to her face. She hadn’t been joking, had she? Her features had gone slack, and her eyes were glazed. “Please, Cam?”
He’d done this to her. He’d put his baby in her, and it was… he swallowed, finally admitting the truth. It was killing her. Women died in childbirth all the time, and maybe she wasn’t that bad, yet, but he’d never seen her like this. So listless, so lank. His heart had thudded in his chest, and he gathered her up in his arms. She must be sweltering, but she hadn’t pushed away, like she usually did when she was too warm. Instead, she just laid in his arms, her eyes closed, and his heart broke.
“I’m so sorry, Tessa. I’m so sorry.” The catch in his voice was him trying to control his fears, but it didn’t work. He’d tightened his grip on her shoulders. “I love you so much, sweetheart. Please don’t ask me to hurt you.” But could he, to save her this pain? He’d do anything to keep her safe, even if it meant losing the baby. He and the kids needed Tessa too much to lose her. Loved her too much.
She’d fallen asleep between contractions, thank God. But still, he’d hunched over her, wondering if he was trying to take her pain in himself, and cried into her lank hair.
And now, things were even worse. With the sun up, she’d been in labor for over a day. Molly kept reassuring him that this was normal, but Cam felt in his heart that something was wrong. She’d had Mae in less time than it took to fix dinner!
Annie kept trying to shoo him out of the room—at least, he thought that’s what her signs meant—but he wasn’t leaving his wife’s side, and made it clear. Tessa felt better while she was walking, even though she was so exhausted that it was more of a stumble than anything else, but he kept his arm around her and paced the room with her. Then, when she was too tired to do that, he hung up a long piece of material from the door jamb, and helped her wrap it under her arms and sort of hang from it.
Mid-morning, Annie and Molly checked on Tessa, and then began to sign back and forth, sending worried glances his way. “What? What is it?”
Molly glanced at Annie, who nodded firmly. “We think you need to ride into town to fetch the doctor, Cam. I’m sorry.” It was her tone—her expression—more than her words that caused his knees to give out. Caused him to sink down onto the rumbled sheets of the bed. He wanted to shake his head, to deny that things were so bad yet, but the pity he saw on Molly’s face told him that it was the truth. And he needed to do anything possible to help Tessa.
Swallowing down his fears, he kissed his wife’s forehead, and left the room. His father was waiting with Nate downstairs—they’d had the sense to follow the womenfolk’s dictates, at least—but wouldn’t hear of Cam leaving. “I know ye’d much rather be here, son. I’ll go ta Cheyenne.”
But Nate was already pulling on his hat. “Don’t be stupid. I’m not doing anything useful here. I’d rather you be ready to help Cam. I’ll go get the midwife.” Neither man had to mention their worries out loud; it would probably be evening before the midwife made it back to the Open Skye ranch. By then, it could be too late.
Cam shook the younger man’s hand gratefully, and then raced back upstairs to be with his wife. Just in time, too. When he came through the door, Tess was moaning his name.
“I’m here, sweetheart, I’m here.” He hurried to her side, lifting and supporting as much as he could, hating that he couldn’t take more of her pain and exhaustion.
“Cam I want…” She struggled to breathe, squirming slightly in the harness she hung from. “I want to push now.” It came out as a low moan, and he knew it was time. The next few hours would mean the world, and he was terrified.
Still, he managed to keep up a murmured litany of support as he untangled her, and half-carried her tiny, frail body over to the chair Annie had set up. How could he have made Tessa bare his children? She was so small, compared to him; and now her belly was huge and distended. So much bigger than even yesterday. She settled her hips against the front of the chair, gripping the arms, her eyes shut and her breaths coming in short gasps, and he had the most horrible feeling that he was going to lose her.
Cam dropped to his knees beside her chair, and let her wrap her fingers through his. For such a tiny woman, she sure had a strong grip, but he was more than willing to take her pain if she could take some of his energy.
An hour ago, she’d been wiped out, exhausted, but now… now, she found a hidden reserve of strength somewhere. He knelt there beside her while she braced her feet, gritted her teeth, practically lifted her rear end off of the chair, and pushed. And pushed. And pushed. Again and again. For what seemed like forever.
Molly and Annie signed back and forth, in between checking on Tessa and doing whatever else needed doing outside of Cam’s attention, which was solely focused on his dwindling wife. Finally, Annie looked up from where she crouched between Tessa’s legs, and signed something to her sister.
Molly began to sign back, but Cam interrupted. “What’d she say, Molly? Tell us.”
The other woman glanced back and forth between him and Tessa, but his wife opened her eyes long enough to nod. “I want to know.” It was barely a whisper, but he squeezed her hand. She deserved to know.
Molly took a deep breath. “Annie said the baby’s turned. It has to be born, but it can’t, not like this. She says it happens in horses, sometimes.”
Tessa’s eyes were closed again, he head back against the pillow he’d placed on the chair for just that purpose. He smoothed sweat-damped strands of her lovely black hair off of her forehead, and brought her hand to his lips. God, what would he ever do without her?
“How can I fix it?” He hadn’t meant to sound so pitiful, but he couldn’t help it more than the tears in his eyes.
“Annie thinks she can, but she wants your permission to try to turn the baby. It might hurt Tess, but we’ve got to try something, or…” She didn’t finish, but she didn’t need to. It was obvious that his strong wife would die if this lasted much longer.
Tessa nodded once, a miniscule movement, and Cam snapped, “Do it” past his tears.
Annie hurried to wash her hands once more, and then crouched between Tessa’s knees. Molly joined her to hold Tessa’s legs, and Cam followed their directions to support his wife upright. “Okay, Tess, tell me when you’ve got to push next time.”
His wife just moaned in response to Molly’s command, but Cam felt the tightness moving from her back to her belly, and heard her suck in a breath, and called down, “Now, Molly!”
He saw Molly tap her younger sister, who was already nodding, and working frantically under Tessa’s chemise. Molly tried her hardest to keep them updated. “She’s trying to guide the head… No?” She sucked in a breath, but Cam was too busy holding Tessa up to ask why. His wife exhaled on a low, steady moan, and he moaned with her, wishing there was something he could do.
Molly’s
voice was rough when she spoke again. “Annie found a leg, Cam.” Tessa collapsed back against him, but Molly was still staring intently at whatever Annie was doing. “She’s hoping to find… Oh, thank God.” A sudden burst of movement, and then Tessa bent over, almost doubling over her belly in a great groan of tenseness.
“What? What is it?”
“Push, Tess, push!”
Annie squealed, an unfamiliar sound, and Molly was praying out loud, and Tessa screamed. It broke Cam, to hear her in so much pain, but then it was over, and Annie was crouched, holding a wailing infant by the legs. Cam just stared, not understanding, not sure why his wife had collapsed against him, crying. They were both crying.
He watched Molly wrap his child in a clean blanket, and then turn a tear-filled face to him. She was smiling, though, and that was enough to loosen the muscles across his shoulders, to allow him to hold Tessa tighter.
“It’s a boy, Cam. He’s tiny, because he’s early, but he’s breathing well.”
A boy. A son. He looked down at his lovely, drained wife and kissed her forehead. “A boy, Tessa. You have another son.”
She smiled slightly. “Ian.” Her voice was rough, but he understood.
“Ian.” His father would be thrilled. None of his other grandchildren had been named after him. Suddenly, Cam was filled with the most wonderful sense of joy. He wrapped both arms around his wife, and squeezed her as well as he could, with Annie still ministering between her legs. “A beautiful name, sweetheart.”
She opened those dark eyes he loved so much, and although he saw the exhaustion there, there was also pride and love, and he knew everything would be alright.
Until she moaned again, and stiffened in his arms, clawing at her belly. Cam turned a frantic gaze to Molly, who’d gone down to her knees again, even while holding the baby. “What’s wrong? What is this?”