“You’re not going to break my heart, Hunter. It’s already hard to leave now.” Gently, she twisted her arm to get him to release her. “We don’t want the same thing.”
As she walked away, he felt like he couldn’t take a deep breath. How could she walk away from him? After everything they’d gone through together! He wanted to run after her, to shake some sense into her.
Suddenly he knew how the women in his life had felt, when they had cried and begged him to not break up with them. He had been sad and wise, just like Kali was being with him.
She didn’t care about him. Or she couldn’t walk away. Like he had walked away from all of the women he didn’t care about.
It felt like a knife in his gut. Twisting and torturing him.
He had to sit there and not run after her. Like the more pathetic girls who ran after him…
It took a long time, but when he finally left, he had one clear determination—he wasn’t going to lose her. He wasn’t going to let that happen.
If she needed proof that he wanted more than just sex with her, then he would give her that proof. Whatever it took.
***
When he saw her the next day, she wouldn’t meet his eyes when she spoke to him. It was like she was a different person. Fear washed over him like an icy flood of water. He had to fix this. Fast.
But he barely saw her all week. He was stuck in his studio creating the numeral medallion patterns for the sundial. They had to be sent to the foundry where he would make the molds the next week, so working nearly around the clock, he carved twelve medallions out of slabs of clay.
When his brother Drew texted to say he was coming into the city on Friday and wanted to get together, Hunter was irritated. He was too busy working! And he needed to figure out what to do about Kali. He didn’t want family problems dragging him back into that old familiar pit of never-ending chaos.
Then he realized this was his chance. Kali wanted proof of his sincerity. He would ask her to meet his brother. He would bring her into his life, and share the ugly secrets of his past. He would make himself as vulnerable to her as he wanted her to be with him.
The thought of exposing himself that way sent a shudder through him. She would judge him. How could she not? It might even change her opinion about him.
But it was time to man-up. How badly did he want this? Enough to expose himself and risk more rejection?
Whatever it takes, he swore to himself.
He knew Kali wouldn’t let him speak to her alone, so he texted her, I want you to meet my brother tomorrow. I want you to be part of my life.
Then he waited.
Chapter 10
Every night, Kali cried thinking about Hunter. She craved that man like she was in physical withdrawals. But she knew sex games weren’t enough. Not for her.
As hard as she tried to put on a pleasant face when she had to deal with Hunter at work, she knew her effort showed. How could it not? One look at him was enough to stop her in her tracks, as much as she tried to ignore the fluttering in her breast. Her traitorous feelings made her want to reach out to him, to hug him so she could feel like everything was okay again.
So when she got his text, it floored her. He was asking her to meet his brother!
This was real life, not kinky sex play.
It was a chink in the wall, letting in light. Maybe he did want a real relationship with her.
Then again, maybe the second she stopped running away, he would lose interest.
And even if he did want a relationship with her, what about everything else? Just like her parents, they weren’t compatible. And that way laid heartbreak.
But in the end she figured, what did she have to lose by meeting his brother? It would tell her a lot about Hunter. It could confirm everything she had seen so far, and then it might be easier to say good-bye to him.
And if it really wasn’t too good to be true, if he did want to get serious with her, she couldn’t miss out on Hunter because she was too scared to take a chance.
Finally she texted him back. Ok where and when?
He instantly sent back the name and address of a restaurant. I’ll meet you at the deli at 6 to walk up together.
The next day at work, she stayed away from Hunter. But whenever she saw him, his eyes lit up with pleasure. It was really hard to resist him. He could make a connection with her from across the construction site with a dozen people around, and somehow manage to make her feel special.
She met him at the deli on the corner after work. Hunter said, “I’m glad you decided to come.”
“Why did you ask me?”
“Because I want you to know me. And I want to get to know you. I’d like to come meet your parents and see where you grew up. I think that tells you a lot about a person.”
It sounded perfect. But Kali couldn’t help thinking of the last time they had stood here, setting off on their date where he had ticked off the romantic gestures one by one: rose, limo-car, surprise destination, restaurant with candles, white tablecloths and a stellar view, plus lots of talking about their childhoods. Was he playing a role, or did he really mean it? Looking back now, she thought that date might have been a means to the end of getting her into bondage.
So rather than listen to any more of that kind of talk, she asked him questions about the next phase of the project. The demo was complete and the raw space was ready. The patterns for the sundial and medallions had been sent to the foundry along with the unique ball-bench that he had packed into a crate. He would be staying all next week in Pennsylvania monitoring the creation of the molds. The dial part of the sundial was being poured into a special form since it was twenty-four feet long. Meanwhile the construction crew would start laying the new pavers in the plaza and set the bolts for the installation.
Their work conversation carried them on their walk up to 6th Street to a row of tiny restaurants. The bottom of every tenement building, down a short flight of steps, were Indian restaurants, one after the other. The narrow, deep interiors were filled with mirrors, tiny lights and a rainbow of silk hangings.
“There’s so many!” she exclaimed as they walked by more than a dozen.
“There are a lot of people who need to eat.”
As Hunter turned off the sidewalk and went down several steps to a glass doorway on the basement floor, Kali asked him, “How can you tell them apart?”
He grinned. “I’ve been to every one, and this is the best. Drew loves Indian food.”
Before she knew it, she was shaking hands with Drew Munro as Hunter introduced her. He looked a lot like Hunter—tall and handsome, but he was bulkier, and heavier in the face. He also had blue eyes, but they were milder. Whereas Hunter was lean and hungry, Drew was a solid, dour mass.
Drew was surprised to see her. “Uh, hi, there. You’re Hunter’s friend?”
“I work for SunTech. We’re doing the sundial project together.”
Now Drew looked even more worried, shifting his gaze to his brother. Hunter nodded, and said, “It’s all right. I’m dating Kali, though she’s not sure she wants to. My bad reputation, and all that.”
Drew raised his brows. “I can understand that.”
Kali wanted to pounce on his comment but if she put him on the defensive, Drew wouldn’t tell her anything. So she sat down and they chatted for a while about Drew’s job as a fireman and life in the firehouse. He had taken the train up from Harrisburg and was going back that afternoon.
Kali thought Drew was a blurred mirror-image of Hunter. He was solid, reliable—a fireman, for Christ’s sake! He saved lives for a living. What a noble, wonderful job with health insurance and a good retirement plan. She felt awful for thinking it, but who wouldn’t?
But she didn’t have a smidge of attraction for Drew. It was like he was made of mud for all the electricity she felt from him. But she could feel Hunter sitting at her other side as if sparks were coming off him in a continual, never-ending display.
The two men discussed the
menu options and Chase ordered for her as usual. After they ordered, Hunter turned to Drew. “Let’s get this over with, Drew. I know you’ve got something to tell me or you wouldn’t be here.”
Drew’s eyes slid to Kali, as he hedged, “It’s about dad.”
Hunter nodded. “Yeah?”
“He lost his job again.”
Hunter hit the table with his fist. “Damn it!”
Drew glanced at Kali again. “He was drinking at work. He’ll have a tough time finding another trucking company willing to hire a driver who was let go for drinking and driving.”
“Was he arrested?”
“No, the company found the bottle. He won’t be charged.”
Hunter let his breath hiss out of his teeth. “We have to be grateful for that.”
Kali stayed very still, feeling like she was an intruder. This was serious stuff! Drinking and driving! Fired from his job! Hunter looked like he wanted to strangle someone. Maybe his dad.
“What did mom say?” Hunter asked.
“What can she say? She only works at the A&P thirty hours a week, so after taxes it barely covers the lot rent and utilities.”
“And you don’t get unemployment for being fired.” Hunter sighed. “They need money.”
Drew nodded. “I can give them $100 a week until Dad gets another job.”
“Who knows when that will be?” Hunter dragged his hands through his hair. “I can do the same. I figure I’ll have a year and a half, maybe more, before the funds from this project dry up. I’m hoping to pick up more work from the publicity that Kali’s creating for it. Maybe dad can pull it together by then.”
“I hoped you’d say that. David is paying off his student loans and doesn’t have an extra dime to spare.”
After that, the two brothers dropped the subject and they dug into the food. For such different men, they seemed very much in synch. They shared the different dishes and after a while the mood lightened. Kali really liked Drew—he was sensible, capable and honest. In some ways, he seemed much older than Hunter, as if he had already solidified into the form he would have for the rest of his life.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked Drew at one point.
“I’m married.” Drew lit up and suddenly he looked a lot more like Hunter. His wife was an EMT, someone he had met on the job and then it had turned into romance. They’d been together for more than two years. Drew said their biggest problem was that his job took him away for four days at a time.
Kali finally asked the question she had been dying to broach all evening. “What about Hunter? Am I like the girls he usually dates?”
Drew opened his eyes wide. “I don’t know. I haven’t met any of his girlfriends since high school.”
“You haven’t? Not in, what, twelve years?”
Hunter was watching them, letting Drew answer for him. “No. He doesn’t talk much about that.”
So it really meant a lot that Hunter had brought her to meet Drew. But she needed to know more. “What about his high school girlfriends?”
“Hunter was real popular with the girls. All of them. He was the envy of the other guys. One time he tied up this girl in the computer lab and the teacher walked in, and it was the talk of the school. I had guys high-fiving me…” Drew trailed off when he saw Hunter’s frown.
“That’s what I thought,” Kali said.
Hunter leaned closer to assure her. “It’s different with you.”
Drew agreed, “That’s for sure. I never figured I’d be talking about dad in front of a girlfriend of yours.”
Girlfriend! Kali bit her lip hard.
Hunter shrugged. “It’s not much fun letting Kali hear it.” He turned to her. “But you need to know who I am if you want us to be together.”
Kali couldn’t have said it better herself. It really made her look at Hunter with new eyes. He was serious about her. He was willing to take her hand and walk into the future together. To see if they fit together.
It took her breath away. Who would have thought eating Indian food with two brothers could be the most romantic thing she had ever done? But it felt like Hunter had slain a dragon for her, opening himself up like this.
After they were done with dinner and standing on the sidewalk outside, Hunter turned to Kali in front of Drew. “Will you give me another chance, Kali? Come meet my friends this weekend. Get to know me better. That way you’ll be able to decide.”
The fear in his eyes stopped her cold. For a moment, she could see how much this had cost him. He looked as if he had been stripped bare.
She was ready to say anything to make him stop looking like that.
Drew was also expectant, so much like his brother, but lightyears different.
“How can I turn you down when both of you look at me like that?” she asked.
She reached out and took Hunter’s hand, and he grabbed onto her with a fierceness that seemed to claim her through a handclasp.
Drew was beaming. “That’s great! He’s really not so bad, Kali. He just needs a little understanding and patience.”
Hunter smacked his brother on the shoulder. “You make me sound like a dog!”
“You are a dog!” Drew shot back.
Hunter laughed, but Kali felt an inward twinge. How could she compete with all of those other women? Surely he would get tired of her soon enough.
But she had to try.
***
Kali did her best to not let her hopes get too high. Meeting his brother was huge, but Hunter’s real life was here in the city. He went to kinky parties and his friends were part of that world. If she wasn’t comfortable with that, it could tear them apart before she knew it.
On Saturday night, Kali felt like she was going down the rabbit hole with Hunter as they entered the side door of a big brick building in the east 20s. There was no sign. The door opened straight off the parking lot, without even an awning to protect it from the softly falling rain. It was a utility door, while the fancy glass doors around the corner were for the patrons of the building. Not for them.
They went down a long flight of concrete steps, then rounded a corner and went down a long corridor with a low ceiling. At the back end was a window where a nice-looking blond woman was taking money. She handed over a sheet of paper with the club rules. Kali scanned it and saw things like “no intercourse or oral sex,” “no play for pay,” “no drugs or alcohol on premises,” “must be 18 or over to enter.”
That told her what she couldn’t do. It was up to Hunter to show her what could be done.
They went through a black steel door with the word “Paddles” spray-painted in stencil on it, and down another short hallway. It opened up into a narrow room with a bar down one side and banquettes along the opposite wall. The ceiling was very low with exposed ductwork painted black. Signs on the wall advertised ice cream sundaes and smoothies. There were people seated on the stools and on the benches and several called out greetings to Hunter.
Almost everyone was wearing black. Hunter had told her anything black when she had asked what to wear. So she had on her shortest black skirt that came to her mid-thigh, and a black button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the neck opened to expose a good amount of cleavage. She got the idea from the old movie, Secretary. The character in that movie had rocked the sexy librarian-look while her wrists were locked to a bar over her shoulders. But the serious mental health problems of both characters made Kali wonder who she was going to meet tonight.
Sounds were coming from around them, from nobody she could see, but cries and moans filled the air, coming from somewhere.
She followed Hunter from room to room, until she was twisted around and not sure about the layout of the Paddles. All of the walls were painted black and the lighting was dim. Hallways turned abrupt corners and opened into small and medium-sized alcoves.
People were playing together in couples and small groups, with others standing nearby watching. There was something outrageous everywhere she looked. S
ome were tied up with their wrists locked to chains dangling from the ceiling or attached to giant wooden X’s. Two men were bent over small padded tables with their buttocks exposed and were being struck by two women holding wooden paddles. A woman was in the same position, but a guy was pushing a large dildo into her. Naked people, people crying out in pain and pleasure, people of all shapes and sizes dressed in lingerie or black leather. Exposing their genitals and breasts to everyone. Like a Halloween costume party for the Adams family crossed with an orgy.
“You look a little dazed,” Hunter told her when they had completed their first circuit.
“All these people are having sex in front of everyone,” she whispered. “I could never do that!”
“It’s BDSM.”
“But they’re naked.”
“Well, I guess it is sex for some people. For others it’s more of a spiritual, ecstatic response. And then there’s the people who do power exchange as a relationship rather than playing with sensation.”
“What is it for you?”
“Everything. I’m just kinky. I’ll try anything once. I’ve even done the hook pull a few times—that’s really intense. It’s what the Lakota Indians do in their Sun Dance, piercing hooks through the skin of your chest.” He pulled back his shirt to show her the slight puckered scar. “One on each side. It sends endorphins rushing through your body. It’s a high like nothing I’ve ever felt. It puts you in another world. Opens your eyes to what’s real and what’s not.”
Kali reached out to touch the scar, as if by touching it she could feel a little bit of the sensation for herself. His skin was hot, and her fingertips cool. “I couldn’t do that. I’d be too afraid.”
“You’d be surprised at what you can do. And it’s a good thing to surprise yourself, push your boundaries a little. As long as you make sure you’re safe.”
“Putting hooks through your skin doesn’t sound safe to me.”
“You have to know someone before you let them push your boundaries. And make sure they have the skills to do the things they’re doing to you. I wouldn’t let just anyone pierce me with a hook, and you shouldn’t either.”
Good Girl Page 14