Good Girl

by Wright, Susan

“That what he bargained for. Everything else belongs to your mom. She chose this house, and I’m betting everything in it from the rugs to the food in the fridge. And she controls the money. Look at her car! Nearly new while your dad drives a shitty old minivan with duct tape on the bumper.”

  “She earned the money herself. She should have a nice car.”

  “Think about it: since we’ve been here she’s told us when to eat, what to eat, when to leave, when to come home, when to sleep...”

  Kali considered that for a few moments. “I never thought of it that way.”

  “The only time your dad is free is when he’s outside this house and away from her. No wonder he stays away so much. No wonder you moved away.”

  “I wasn’t trying to get away from my mom. We have a great relationship.”

  “Yes, as long as you do what she wants. I bet she hated it when you left for the city. She lost control over you. But you probably wanted to leave for a long time before that.”

  Her face suddenly turned to him. “How did you know that? I wanted to go away to college to Florida or California, someplace warm.”

  “Someplace thousands of miles away from Jenny Jones.”

  “Don’t say that!”

  “It’s blasphemous, isn’t it? But I can tell you and your mom talk over your dad’s failings. Seriously, I bet he was no different when Jenny met him. She chose him because of who he is. She knew she could have her own way with him, even if it meant she wasn’t getting a real partner.” He smiled at her. “You want a real partner, don’t you, Kali?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Then you have to start from a place of equality. That’s what we’re doing. We’re on a journey together to explore each other and see if we can commit to each other in the long term. I’d rather make the process the focus rather than the end result. Because otherwise you end up bargaining away important things in order to get what you think you need. You can take care of yourself, Kali. You’re already taking care of yourself. Your mom can, too. It looks like she did really well for herself here, and she chose a man who accommodates her in every way when he’s around. It’s not a bad bargain. But I hope you want more.”

  Chapter 13

  Kali was shaken to her core. In the space of twenty-four hours, Hunter had managed to make her question everything she thought she knew about her family.

  The next morning, she kept glimpsing her mom and dad through Hunter’s eyes. With her mom in the kitchen, her dad didn’t make pancakes with Kali like he usually did when the two of them were alone. He even changed his shirt at her mom’s request, and Kali remembered the time her mom threw away a pair of pants her dad had bought because she didn’t like the color. Everything he wore was purchased by her mom, including his shoes. Her mom had also bought all of Kali’s clothes in joint shopping sessions, with Kali deferring to her advice. She wondered how different her chaste, drab wardrobe would look if she had been allowed to experiment with colors and styles like her friends had done.

  At this point, Kali wasn’t sure she would know how to start.

  Maybe Hunter was right and her mom had chosen her dad with her eyes wide open. When her mom made a snide remark about her dad having to go someplace right after breakfast, it was suddenly clear she was doing it to get Kali on her side. Kali had been caught in a tug of war between her parents’ affection for as long as she could remember, but she had never wanted to look at it in that light.

  More than anything, she realized Hunter was right as she told her mom good-bye in the kitchen, while Hunter was putting their bags in the car. She had avoided being alone with her mom until the last minute.

  Without any warning, her mom said, “You have to see that it’s impossible for you to be serious about him, Kali.”

  “I don’t think so, Mom.”

  Her mom’s lips compressed into a thin line. “I don’t want you to have to struggle like I did.”

  “I won’t. I can take care of myself,” she said, echoing Hunter.

  “But it’s not fair for you to have to take care of someone else, too. You should find someone who’s able to support you, instead of someone who wants to live off you.”

  That bothered Kali. “You’ve been happy with Dad. You must get something out of it or you would have kicked him out a long time ago.”

  “He’s a good father. And a good husband. When he’s around. But he’s never been able to contribute to our household in a meaningful way.”

  “Hunter isn’t like that. He’s supported himself and worked to bring money in for his family since he was a teenager. He takes care of his parents, not the other way around like most of the people I know who are living off the monthly check from daddy.”

  “There’s no stability in it, Kali.”

  Kali wanted to shake off her mom’s fears that threatened to smother her. “I hate that word! What’s stable in this world? Everything’s changing. What about the administrators from the college you were talking about last night who were laid off? They were making good plans, safe in a steady job, but life came along and smacked them around. Maybe it’s good to choose someone who can roll with the punches and figure out how to make things work, rather than someone who coasts along thinking they’re safe because they get a paycheck every week.”

  As Kali turned away, Hunter was standing in the doorway with a big grin on his face. He had been tense all weekend, not like his usual self. She liked seeing him happy again, and even better because she had made him feel that way.

  Her mom had nothing more to say, not in front of Hunter. She turned very cold and hardly responded to Kali’s hug good-bye. Kali felt abandoned by the way her mom was acting. Her mom’s disapproving silence was always worse than any arguments.

  But this time Kali was able to wave goodbye and leave it behind. She wouldn’t have to come home and face a blank wall when she tried to talk to her mom. It was a relief, because she didn’t have to make things right. She knew from past experience that the only way to make it right was to do what her mom said. But Kali wasn’t going to dump her super-sexy lover just because her mom told her to.

  Kali felt like she was casting off the ropes and sailing into the unknown. Here there be dragons….

  ***

  Kali was on edge for the several hour train trip back to the city with Hunter. He didn’t seem to mind the long periods of silence. He worked on his laptop, then stretched out his long legs and watched the lush countryside pass by until they abruptly came to the far flung outlines of the city.

  Kali had hoped the sight of the clustered skyscrapers in the distance would lift her spirits, as it always did. But this time she had the uncomfortable feeling that she had dragged Jefferson and its baggage back to the city with her.

  She was so preoccupied that she didn’t really consider what was happening until Hunter had accompanied her all the way from Penn Station to her apartment. Standing in the living room facing him, feeling oddly displaced, she still didn’t know what to say or do.

  “Would you like me to go?” Hunter asked gently.

  “I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know what I want right now.”

  “It’s natural. You’re unsettled because you’re defying your mom. I bet she hated it when you moved to the city.”

  “Yes, she did,” Kali admitted. “She really pushed those windmill projects that have gone up around the county and she still keeps trying to get me involved.”

  “You never thought about her being so controlling?”

  “It’s just the way it is. I always thought we were at my dad’s whim. But you’re right—my mom decides everything. My dad never complains about it. I guess he doesn’t mind.”

  “And you ignored it until now.”

  She sighed. “Now all I can do is think about it.”

  Hunter put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “You are tense. Here, let me rub your back.”

  He stepped behind her and began expertly rubbing her back between her shoulder blades, running his hands dow
n and around, then back up to the top of her shoulders, slowly pressing deeper to release the tension.

  “Ahh…,” she breathed.

  He stroked her from the back of her head, down her neck, down either side of her spine. He gently gripped her shoulders and rotated them to loosen her up. It felt wonderful.

  But all Kali could think about was how her dad gave her mom back rubs. Jenny complained that sitting at a desk all day was hard on her back. Danny was good at giving a back rub, and he did it for Kali and for his friends, too, from time to time. She should be enjoying this.

  “What’s wrong?” Hunter asked.

  “Nothing. It feels great.”

  “You just sighed.” He took hold of her shoulders, showing her how stiff she was. “You’re fighting me every inch of the way. What’s going on?”

  “I keep thinking about my dad. He always gives my mom backrubs. I’ve never seen her do it for him. Never. Not even once.”

  “They each bring certain things to the relationship. They found a way to get what they need. But the better way to do it is to talk it out rather than struggle passive-aggressively to get what you want.”

  “That makes sense,” she said absently.

  He stopped and turned her to face him. “I think you’re upset because you’ve realized how much your mom used her complaints about your dad to control you. She was able to make sure you did what she wanted because she was already so imposed on by him. She made you a mini-adult to help her, but I think it was mainly to keep you under her thumb.”

  Kali put her hands to her face. “It’s too awful! I had a wonderful childhood, and a really good relationship with my parents. I hate seeing there were a lot of subconscious motives playing out the whole time.”

  “The underbelly is there whether we look at it or not. You’re one of the lucky ones. Your family is functional, affectionate and your parents think the world of you. You weren’t abused or victimized—right? You’ve never said anything about that.”

  She shook her head. “No, never anything like that. A handsy guy on a date once, that’s it.”

  “No matter how healthy a relationship people have, there are power dynamics at play. It’s a constant push-pull. We manipulate people into giving us what we need. Some do it deliberately, some unconsciously. It’s always happening, so it makes sense to watch the undercurrents at work.”

  Kali nodded, feeling lost. She didn’t know what to think.

  Hunter stroked her cheek. “I hate to see you so sad. It’s not your fault, you know. I see a lot of girls like you, perfectionists who always step up to get the job done. They’re usually submissive.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. There are legions of sub volunteers who run the kinky groups, men and women, both. I guess it makes sense since they’re the ones who are really in control. They’re the ones with the escape hatch to end the scene, even though the tops are directing the action.”

  “Do you ever give up control?” she asked.

  His lips compressed. “Not really. I’ve bottomed, like with the hook pull, but it’s completely on my own terms. I’m not as good at letting go like you are. But I’m feeling it more with you than I ever have. It’s a release to let go, to stop your mind from going round and round. To just feel and focus entirely on the moment. It’s cathartic, transformative.”

  “Like sex,” she agreed.

  “The way you have sex, yes. You seem to lose yourself when you get passionate. That’s why I think you’d like it if you tried something like spanking.”

  The word hung in the air.

  Kali crossed her arms over herself. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

  “I won’t hurt you. I promise. And you can say stop any time, remember? You can just tell me if it isn’t working for you. I want it to feel good.”

  She used to be so sure that she wouldn’t like it, that it couldn’t possibly feel good, that it was hard to reconsider. But he kept blowing up her preconceived notions about so many things, especially when it came to hot sex, that she felt a shiver of longing deep inside. She liked jumping into the unknown with him, relying on him to carry them through. She liked how much he wanted to make her feel good…

  Hunter drew her closer, dropping one hand down to her butt, squeezing one cheek. “You’ll like it. I know you will.” His voice lowered. “You know you’re curious.”

  She met his intensely blue eyes, caught fast as always. The game was on. She could tell it by the tone of his voice. She wanted to give him this, she wanted to please him. Part of her was running away from it because she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to do it right. That she’d disappoint him by ending it abruptly because she couldn’t handle it. She was no Minx. She had no illusions about her own wimpitude.

  But he was right, she was curious what all the fuss was about.

  “All right,” she agreed.

  He kissed her, one hand holding her close and the other on her butt cheek, squeezing like a promise of more to come. She liked it. Then he put his other hand on her butt, pulling her into him, pressing her against his hardening cock, as he squeezed and rubbed her behind. She held onto his neck and shoulders, leaning back as he kissed her.

  With almost a growl, he picked her up and lifted her over his shoulder. She let out a little shriek from the sudden movement, finding herself hanging upside down. He still had a hand on her butt, steadying her over his shoulder, his other arm holding her legs together. He carried her into the bedroom and threw her onto the bed.

  She let out another shriek, flying backwards for a second. It got her heart racing and she already felt flushed and turned on from his kisses. It seemed like he wanted to devour her, to take every part of her. Like there was no way she could resist him.

  Then he was leaning over her, pressing her into the bed, holding her down by his size and weight. He was letting her feel his control. So she would know that none of her struggles would be able to stop him unless he chose to stop.

  It was a little frightening. He said she could stop any time. But really, there was nothing she could do if he decided to keep going.

  Maybe she was twisted, but the fear turned her on even more. It was every awful bodice-ripper that ever existed—Abduction! Forced sex! Everlasting love!

  Hunter took hold of her chin with one hand, bringing her abruptly to the present. “You’re still thinking too much.”

  He rolled off her, lying down next to her, facing her. Putting his arm under her back, he scooped her with him as he sat up on the edge of the bed, holding her to his chest. Her head was nestled against his bicep, and her legs curled behind him on the bed. He was rubbing her butt, with her hip braced on his thigh.

  A firm smack on her ass surprised her. It wasn’t the classic over-the-knee spanking position, which she had dreaded so much. Her mom had never spanked her as a child. It would have humiliated them both! The worst punishment she got was the silent treatment. And her dad, he never punished her for anything.

  Hunter slapped first one cheek, then the other, low down where her butt met the top of her thigh, then higher where it was more sensitive. She was wearing jeans, so the denim muffled everything and made it feel more like a massage than anything resembling a spanking.

  He got into a rhythm, alternating and then changing it up, pausing then spanking again. He was getting firmer gradually, and then would go softer for a few swats. He stopped and rubbed and squeezed her butt through her jeans, making her moan, it felt so good. The impacts jarred her from top to bottom, forcing her to tense and relax.

  “Hmm…,” she murmured.

  He bent down and kissed her, inflamed and aggressive where she was growing languid and floating.

  When he swatted her again, repeatedly like he was keeping time to a song only they could hear, she didn’t feel it as much, though she could tell he was doing it harder than when he first started. Her butt and legs were tingling.

  “Take off your jeans,” he told her. “And your panties.”

 
Oh, no, now it’s getting serious, she thought. Maybe this delicious feeling was just the candy-coated topping that lured you in.

  She pulled off her jeans and kicked them off her legs. He stroked her buttocks, and her skin was alive to every brush of his fingertips.

  “You’re getting nice and rosy,” he told her.

  She looked over her shoulder and saw her butt checks were red. The rest of her skin was so white. His hand was dark against her, rubbing her butt.

  “You have a beautiful ass. I admired it the first time I met you, though you were trying to hide your light under that gray suit.”

  She felt tongue-tied, silenced by her position. Half-dressed while he was fully clothed. He was so clever at putting her at a disadvantage, making her feel vulnerable.

  So why did she feel safe in his arms?

  Then he spanked her. His hand on her bare ass felt completely different. It was sharp, stinging, hard.

  “Oh!” she gasped.

  He spanked her again, her other butt cheek, hitting the soft flesh. Alternating from one to the other, picking a rhythm, then pausing to stroke and squeeze her. She threw caution to the wind and went with it. She jerked and tightened her fingers on his arm at the sharper blows, and relaxed and was lulled by the rubbing in between.

  She could feel it in her clit, the jolt and tug of every smack. Spreading warmth through her body, lighting up her nerves so each blow felt better and better. The rhythm was the best, building in intensity, then breaking off. Again and again.

  She was panting like she was running a race, and both of them were sheened, like he was running with her. It didn’t really hurt, though there were flashes of pain when his finger tips went further to the sides or top of her butt. But it just served to drive her higher.

  It was only the two of them, connected in a dance as he felt her react, playing with her reactions, seeming by instinct to know when to push harder and when to ease off. She felt herself being driven by a master, one who knew her body better than she did, who trusted her to let go to him.

  She heard herself crying out, over and over. He kept pushing her higher, making her want more. His hand was hitting both butt cheeks at once, right over her pussy.