by C Zinnia
Mel closed her eyes and counted to ten. Instead of helping, she felt tenser. “Just explain to me what is going on,” She said. “I think that will help me calm down.” She opened her eyes to find Viola sitting on the bed.
“It’s hard for me to talk about it because I don’t like the way I’m feeling,” Viola admitted.
Mel sat beside her. “Just say it,” she said.
“I’ve only met one other female witch in the area,” Viola said. “And I saw what happened to her ex when she got mad at her. She almost died.”
Mel had a vivid image of a woman whose face was half covered with scars. As soon as the image was there, it was gone. “But Eli is a witch and he hasn’t done anything bad,” she pointed out.
“No, but he still makes me nervous because he’s a witch,” Viola admitted. “Growing up in Cuba, I’ve been to a lot of ceremonies where things happened that I didn’t understand.” She took a deep breath. “I’m not comfortable with things like magic or whatever you want to call it. I don’t understand it and it makes me nervous. I feel like it doesn’t follow the logic of the universe.”
Mel was flabbergasted. “But you’re a werewolf,” she said.
“I didn’t say my feelings made sense,” Viola said.
“You don’t like me anymore?” Mel asked.
Viola was appalled Mel even asked such a question. “Of course, I like you. For that matter, I love you,” she said. “You’re my mate!”
Mel reflexively smiled at Viola’s declaration. “What if you don’t like me? The only thing you know about me is that you think I smell good,” she said. “What if you end up not liking me because of my gifts?”
Viola cupped Mel’s face. “A person’s mate is perfect for them. You are perfect for me and you will make me a better person just like I will make you a better person. Understand that you are breaking a lot of views I had regarding ‘woo-woo’ things,” she said. “It’s going to take some time for me to get used to it. But I will get used to it. I’m not afraid of you. I know you would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. I’ll get past my unease, just be patient with me. Okay?”
“’Woo-woo?’” Mel said.
“’Woo-woo.’ You know, mystical, magical things that can’t be explained,” Viola said.
Mel looked at her hands. “Do you think Jesse was right about me?” she asked softly. “Am I too weak?”
Viola wrapped her arms around Mel and gave her loud kisses. “No! Don’t listen to what that twit says! She’s just jealous and was grasping at straws. You are very strong and we are going to have strong babies and I’m grateful you’re my mate,” she said.
Mel grinned. “I’m glad,” she said. Mel wanted to ask if Viola was open to adoption, but felt like now wasn’t the time for the conversation. “And ditto.”
“I’m sorry I made you feel bad,” Viola said. “Your gifts are beautiful. I just have things I have to work out within myself. None of my issues with ‘woo-woo’ have anything to do with you, so please don’t take it personally. Okay?”
“Okay,” Mel said.
Viola sweetly kissed her. “Good,” she said.
Mel was quiet again.
“What is it?” Viola asked.
“What about my weight? Does my size bother you?” Mel asked. “Is that why you are having me workout so much? Are you trying to make me thin?”
Viola hesitated. Mel could feel Viola’s energy as she tried anxiously to come up with an answer Mel would be okay with. “You’re my mate,” she said. “If you can lose the weight, great, and if not, you’ll still be my mate.”
Mel didn’t like Viola’s answer. Before Mel could marinate on it, Viola kissed her again. Mel felt Viola’s energy move across her as though it was caressing her. Mel kissed Viola back with equal passion. Mel felt her worries and concerns melt away as they kissed.
Viola was the first to pull away. “Now, you need to work with Eli.”
They went into the kitchen where Eli was chatting with Dana and Lee.
“Are you ready Mel?” Eli asked.
“Yes,” Mel said.
Daren walked into the kitchen. “Hey, it’s a party!” he joked. “How’s everyone?”
“Great,” Mel said.
“Good,” Lee said.
“How was work?” Dana asked.
“It was good. I’m glad I went in for at least half a day,” Daren said. “I had some details I need to iron out. How about you, V? You must be ecstatic you have Mel here.”
“I’m thrilled,” Viola said. She turned to Eli. “I suppose you’ll want to meet with Mel alone?”
Eli hesitated. “I think that would be the best,” he said.
“How long?” Viola asked.
“A couple of hours at least,” Eli said.
“Okay,” Viola said. “Daren, will you run some errands with me?”
“Sure,” Daren said.
“I’ll try to be back before you’re done,” Viola said to Mel. “Do your best, okay?”
“I will,” Mel said.
Viola smiled. She kissed Mel’s forehead. “Yo te amo mi amor,” she purred.
The words melted Mel’s heart. She knew enough Spanish to know Viola said “love.”
“Ditto,” Mel said. She felt silly saying the words out loud. Realistically, Mel had only known Viola for a couple of days. Mel believed in soulmates, but she also felt that throwing around a big word such as “love” was a large step to take so quickly. Then again, she didn’t know how the whole werewolf bonding thing worked. It might be sillier not to say “love.”
All Mel knew was she had never experienced the near-overwhelming feelings she felt for and from Viola. With Viola, her heart raced, her palms were sweaty, and there was a level of giddiness boarding on mania. Viola’s love was like a drug. Mel had never had someone express so much interest in her and someone whose energy seemed to surround her. Her passion was borderline overwhelming, but Mel never wanted it to stop. It was addicting.
Viola and Daren left. Mel felt Viola’s energy move farther away. Even though Viola was gone, Mel still felt the warmth of her presence in her heart.
God, I’ve become such a romantic! Mel thought. Even with the thought, she knew she wouldn’t trade her feelings for the world.
Chapter 10
“Let’s get to work,” Eli said. He led Mel through the living room and down a hallway. There was a modest room with a wooden desk and two chairs.
“Have a seat,” Eli said. He sat down as well. He had a book bag with him. He pulled out incense, candles, and a small speaker.
“What’s all of this for?” Mel asked. “Am I learning spells?”
“No,” Eli said. He lit the candles and incense. “This is all about creating the right atmosphere. Have you ever meditated before?”
“Not exactly,” Mel said. “I’ll focus on cleaning my aura and strengthening my mental walls, but nothing past that.”
“That’s still more than what most do,” Eli said. He set up the speaker so soft relaxing music played in the background. “Meditation has become a loose term because so many people have a strong opinion on what it is and isn’t. I view it as a chance to center yourself and to get in touch with your subconscious. You see, we try to pretend our conscious mind makes all of the big decisions, but it doesn’t. It’s our subconscious that does. And if the two aren’t lined up in beliefs then chaos ensues.”
“What does that have to do with my gifts?” Mel asked.
“Your subconscious may not want you to use your gifts. Or your subconscious may not be fully comfortable with the concept of being a witch. If we check and make sure your subconscious is okay with your gifts from the beginning, then we won’t run into issues as your gifts develop,” Eli said.
“What kind of issues?” Mel asked.
“We’ll use an easy example,” Eli said. “Say you consciously want to be successful. Let’s say consciously you want to make lots of money. Now, let’s say you had a great opportunity for a great job that
would make you lots of money. Let’s say the morning of the interview, everything that can possibly go wrong does and you’re late. You just missed that opportunity. Why?”
Eli waited patiently for Mel to respond. “Because God is working against you? Or the Universe doesn’t want you to have that job?” she offered.
Eli stared at Mel. “Could you imagine a benevolent perfect being who created you working against you to bring pain into your life just for spite?” he asked.
“No, I would hope not,” Mel said. “It seems like any God who would act like that wouldn’t be God.”
“Exactly,” Eli said. “Though, that may be a topic we should check with your subconscious to make sure you don’t feel God is working against you. Your second suggestion is valid. There are times where it is in our best interest that we don’t get what we desire because there is a better opportunity for us. And failure is a far better teacher than success. Let’s say, however, that in this case, God wants us to get the job. Could it be that everything goes wrong because maybe your subconscious is afraid to succeed? Maybe you saw bad things happen to people who made money. Maybe you were taught to associate making money with being a bad and greedy person. Because of these beliefs in your subconscious, it is affecting your ability to succeed. Understand?”
Mel nodded. “That is a huge concept to swallow, but it makes a lot of sense.”
“I’m glad,” Eli said. “We’re going to take that principle and use it regarding your gifts. Let’s get started. Get comfortable and close your eyes.”
Mel complied.
“Now, I want you to take deep breaths. In and out. With each breath, I want you to sink deeper within yourself,” Eli said.
Mel followed his instructions. She reached the point where she was completely relaxed.
“Imagine you are in a place that empowers you,” Eli said. His voice sounded far away, but Mel was too focused on his directions to notice.
Where would that be? Mel wondered.
Suddenly, she envisioned herself in an ancient forest. Large trees surrounded her. A light mist floated across the ground. The aromas of moss and decomposing leaves were wonderful. The sun seeped through the leaves of the canopies and lit up the forest floor. Mel took a deep, relaxed breath. She felt like she could live here forever.
“I want you to imagine your inner child is standing in front of you. She has a message from your subconscious,” Eli whispered.
A child version of Mel crept out from behind a tree. Child Mel reflexively rubbed her arm as she nervously looked around. Adult Mel was stunned by the amount of energy child Mel had.
God, I was such a powerhouse, adult Mel thought. What happened to me?
“Hello,” adult Mel said.
Child Mel looked startled. She hadn’t expected adult Mel to be there. “I’m sorry,” child Mel said. “I’ll leave.”
“Don’t leave,” adult Mel said as she took a step forward. The action caused child Mel to jump back. “Please, I’m not going to hurt you. Don’t be afraid.”
Child Mel looked offended by adult Mel’s statement. “I’m not afraid of you,” child Mel said.
Adult Mel was confused. No one else was in the woods except for the two of them, so adult Mel felt like she had to be the culprit for child Mel’s anxiety. “What are you afraid of?” adult Mel asked.
Child Mel glanced around. “Me,” she said.
“But why?” adult Mel asked.
Child Mel shook her head. “I can’t tell you,” she said. “If I tell you, you will be afraid too!”
“I won’t be afraid,” adult Mel said.
“Liar!” child Mel cried. “You will! Just like everyone else. Mommy, Daddy, Sissy! They all are afraid of me!”
Adult Mel was stunned. She didn’t remember any of them ever being afraid of her. Why would my child self think that? she thought. “I won’t be afraid. I promise. Please tell me!” adult Mel begged.
Child Mel started crying. She fell to the ground and rocked herself. The branches around her seemed to sag from the weight of her sorrows. “I’m weird! I’m a freak!” child Mel said. “I don’t mean to be, but I can’t stop it! I wish I was never this way!”
“There is nothing wrong with being different,” adult Mel said.
“Yes! There is! Being different is bad! You can never be different! You always have to be like everyone else!” child Mel exclaimed. She was adamant about her feelings and nothing could convince her otherwise.
“How are you weird?” adult Mel asked.
Child Mel looked at her. Adult Mel felt like she was staring into the eyes of an old soul. “I saw Uncle Jared kissing a woman that wasn’t Aunty Barb. I saw it in my mind like a picture when Uncle Jared hugged me,” child Mel said. “I told Mommy last week. She got mad and called me a liar.
“Yesterday, when I got home from school Mommy grabbed me and locked me in the closet. I cried for her to let me out, but she wouldn’t. Mommy said I was a bad girl. Mommy said Aunty Barb called her and told her she was divorcing Uncle Jared because he had a girlfriend. Mommy said I shouldn’t have known that. Mommy said I had something evil inside of me that I had to get rid of.
“I tried to tell her I wasn’t evil, but Mommy didn’t believe me. Mommy said I’d hurt all of my family if she didn’t do something to stop me. Mommy didn’t let me out until Pastor John came over. When Pastor John touched me, I saw him taking money out of the collection plate from church. I told Mommy and Pastor John what I saw. It just made them madder.
“Mommy sat me in a chair and Pastor John said I saw what I saw because the devil put the image in my head. Pastor John started praying and yelling at me. It was really scary. He said I was possessed. He said what I did was devil’s work.” Child Mel cried again. “I know I wasn’t possessed. I know I wasn’t doing devil’s work. I’ve never ever met the devil or any of his friends! I didn’t feel any different when Pastor John was done. I just pretended I felt better. I will never tell anyone what I see ever again. I don’t want to do devil’s work. I just want to be a kid. I just want to be a normal kid. I just want my mommy to love me.”
Adult Mel felt tears rush down her cheeks. She had forgotten about the incident. Adult Mel walked over to child Mel and embraced her. “Your mommy and Pastor John were wrong. It’s not devil’s work. You have a gift and you should be proud of it. You are amazing,” adult Mel said. “And if you develop your abilities, you’ll be able to do a lot of good for a lot of people.”
“How do you know?” child Mel asked.
“Because I have gifts too,” adult Mel said.
Child Mel held her breath. “Really?”
“Yes. Do I feel evil to you?” adult Mel asked.
“No,” child Mel said. “You are a good person.”
“And so are you,” adult Mel said. “Pastor John was afraid everyone would find out he was stealing. He didn’t want to get in trouble, so it was easier for him to tell you that you were wrong and bad. It was wrong of him to treat you like that. He should have admitted what he did and try to be better. That was his fault. Not yours.”
“And Mommy?” child Mel asked.
Adult Mel hesitated. She wasn’t quite sure either. “Mommy was afraid for you,” adult Mel said. “She didn’t know what else to do. She had never met someone like you before. Your gifts are different than what they are used to, but your gifts are given to you by God. And you should be able to use your gifts since they’re from God, right?”
“Right,” child Mel said. “But it’s so silly for adults to be afraid!”
“I know, but some people are silly like that,” adult Mel said.
Child Mel said; “I’m not doing devil’s work. I’m special. I can use my gifts for good!”
The woods around child Mel seemed to lift up from her happiness. Beautiful flowers spouted from the ground in an array of colors.
“Yes, that’s the spirit!” adult Mel cheered.
“Thank you,” child Mel said. “I love you.”
“I
love you too,” adult Mel said.
They embraced.
Adult Mel felt a cascade of emotions and sensations flood her. Her body vibrated from the intensity of the sensations. Power swept through child and adult Mel. Adult Mel pulled back and was in awe to find they were both surrounded by a bright gold light.
“Wow,” adult Mel said.
“It’s so pretty,” child Mel said. “With this, we can heal the world.”
“Heal,” Mel repeated absently.
“Yes, I want to help people feel better and be happier. I want to fill everyone with love. The more love, the better. Maybe if Mommy and Pastor John were filled with love, they wouldn’t have been so afraid,” child Mel said. “Fear can’t live where there is love.”
Adult Mel smiled. “I think you’re right,” she said.
“Come back to the present,” a male voice said. His voice seemed to ring from the sky.
“I better go,” adult Mel said.
“Okay,” child Mel said. She wasn’t the timid child anymore, but a strong self-assured little girl. “I’m going to go play. Come back again, okay?”
“Okay. Bye,” adult Mel said.
“Come back to the present,” the male voice repeated. “Become aware of your surroundings.”
Mel felt a shift in the air.
Instead of woods, she smelled burning candles and incense. She felt the hard chair she was sitting on.
“On the count of three, you will be fully present,” Eli said. “One. Two. Three. Open your eyes.”
Mel opened her eyes to find Eli calmly sitting. She could feel the dried tears on her cheeks. Mel noticed it was already dark outside.
“How are you feeling?” Eli asked.
“Okay. Slightly overwhelmed,” Mel said. “Still absorbing what just happened.”
“How is your shoulder feeling?” Eli said.
“My shoulder? It feels-” Mel broke off as she moved her shoulder around. “It feels great. How is that possible?”
“I normally don’t see energy, but while you were under, a gold sphere had appeared around your shoulder. I made sure to wait until it left before I ended your session. It looked like it disappeared within you,” he said.