by Roya Carmen
I close my eyes as his fingers peel my lace undies slowly down my hips. He slides them to my ankles and over my nude heels. He traces a finger along my shoe, but he doesn’t linger there. What we’re about to do is huge, but I don’t want to dwell on it. Right now, I just want to enjoy his touch. I want to explore him and pleasure him, and I want him to pleasure me. At this moment, we’re just a man and a woman inexplicably drawn to each other.
His fingers travel to my sex, and he parts my lips with a gentle touch. I lift my leg to open up for him. I want his tongue on my pussy. I close my eyes as he presses his perfect mouth against me and slides his warm tongue along my slit. I grab handfuls of his hair and press my hips against him, getting lost in it. I tear at his sweater and pull it over her his head in a frenzy. As soon as he’s free, his mouth presses between my legs again. He sucks at me harder, and I know he’s going to make me come. He trails his hand under my thighs and wraps my leg around his shoulder.
Oh God…
I ride his face, standing on one leg in my five-inch heels. I’m relatively steady as he brings me nearer to the edge, but I don’t want to come like this. We haven’t even made it to the bed yet, and I want him in my bed. I want him inside me, looking into my eyes when I come. And I want to see him there too… by my side.
I whimper as I throw my head back. “That feels so good.” It takes all the willpower I have to push him away. “I want you on my bed.”
I pull him by the hand toward my vintage wrought-iron bed. My bed is perfect today – perfectly made, corners tucked in just like Amber showed me. It’s almost never like this, but I wanted my room to be perfect for him. It’s such an innocent bed with a fluffy yellow comforter covered in red roses, pillows laced with frilly ribbon. It’s perfect for making love.
I want to make love, but I don’t want to say the words aloud. I want to pretend this doesn’t mean anything. This is no different than last time. I wonder if it means anything to him. Is this special to him too? Or is he just a man with a hard cock craving a warm, wet pussy? Deep inside, I refuse to believe that. August isn’t like other men.
When I turn to him, a smile traces his lips. “This isn’t the bed I imagined you in.”
I smile. “A far cry from your bed, right?”
He laughs. “Yes indeed. My bed could eat yours for breakfast. Is this big enough for the both of us?”
“Oh, I think we can make room,” I say as I throw the pillows aside and pull down the bedspread.
He bites his bottom lip as he studies my pink-flower-covered sheets.
I smile. “I know, my bed is girly.” As I pull him onto the bed, it creaks and slides against the wall. We both laugh. “It’s a good thing we’re alone. I think this bed is noisy.”
“You think? You’re not sure? Have you never had sex in this bed?”
I smile. “Never. You’ll have the privilege of being the first to fuck me in this quaint little bed.”
His smile presses against my lips as he kisses me. “What I’m about to do to you is not fucking…”
His mouth trails down to my breasts. I arch my back, wanting him to suck me, to bite me. He’s being soft and gentle, which is what I wanted, but being naked under him makes me so worked up. I want more. I want raw.
I wrap my hands around his shoulders and flip over on top of him. “Your turn.”
I lean down and start with his shoulders, kissing gently, teasing. He moans as I travel down his smooth skin, tasting and discovering him. I trail my hand along the happy trail that leads to his beautiful cock, still hidden. I shoot him a smile as I undo his belt and fly. He groans as I peel off his pants and boxers in one fell swoop.
Naked, hard, and glorious. Exactly how I wanted him. How I imagined him. I feel powerful and fierce sitting over him like this, solely in control of his pleasure. I bend my head, my long locks stroking his abs softly. I close my eyes as I take him in my mouth. I want to tease, give him pleasure, and play a little before we make love.
“Oh God… Ruby,” he whispers.
I feel him tense in my mouth as I go harder. He pulls at my hair and presses his hips into me, frantic.
Then he grabs my face in both his hands so hard it jars me. “Stop, Ruby. Please stop.”
I smile. I know he wants the same thing I want. He wants to make love.
He reaches into his pants and grabs a condom from his pocket. “Lie back and close your eyes.”
I smile, obliging. I stretch my arms above my head and feel the cool air of my room wrap around my body. I know he’ll warm me soon enough. I anticipate his touch impatiently. Completely naked, save for my shoes, I’m a sensual offering.
I feel his hand on my foot as he peels off a shoe. He kisses the top of my foot softly. He peels off my other shoe and trails his mouth and hands along my leg, up over the curve of my hip. I press my hand along the smooth curve of his back as he inches nearer. He swirls his tongue over my stomach then around my nipples, bringing me to the cusp of arousal. Then finally his mouth reaches mine, and we get lost in a kiss. Of all the kisses we’ve shared, this is the sweetest.
I run my hands along the rounded curve of his rear then guide him to my sex, which is swollen and aching for him. I bite my lip as his length sinks into me slowly. I can’t take my eyes off his. His gaze pins me and renders me almost motionless.
His fingers are tangled in my hair as he presses into me without a word. The bed creaks, but we pay it no mind. I wrap my legs tighter around him, wanting him deeper. He presses his mouth on mine briefly, but his kiss lingers as he pulls away again. My body sinks into the mattress when he presses deeper into me. He feels so good. I wrap my arms around him and grind harder, my body sticking and clinging to him, chasing that release. My head is caught between his forearms, pressed against my bed, as he goes harder.
I arch my back and press my hips against him. “Make me come, August.”
He presses his mouth against my neck and bites softly. “Say my name.”
“August,” I cry.
“Say my real name…”
I’m taken aback, but I know his name. “Eric…”
“Say it again…”
“Eric,” I repeat, louder this time. “Make me come, Eric.”
The bed bangs against the wall as he drives into me, his mouth buried in my hair. Each thrust brings me closer, makes me wilder.
“Eric…” I cry again.
The waves of pleasure come crashing toward me. They consume me and hold my body captive. Loud whimpers escape my mouth. He whispers my name against my ear as I try to cling to that amazing release, not wanting to let go of this perfect moment. He presses harder into me, holding on to it for me. A hoarse groan leaves his lips as he stills and tenses inside me. I cling to him. I want to hold his pleasure inside me and never let it go.
Finally he lies quietly over me and kisses my temple. He feels hotter, larger, and heavier now, but I don’t want him to move an inch. His mouth searches for mine. His kiss is soft and sweet.
“That was incredible,” he says quietly.
I smile at him. He’s flushed and so, so beautiful. I’ve never felt so close to anyone before. This is what love feels like, I realize.
“So it’s Eric, now, is it?” I tease.
He grins, the curve of his lips bashful. “Well, it’s my name and… you’re my lady. I want you to say my name when I make you come… my real name.”
My heart swells, and I just know I’ve got the goofiest smile on my face. “I’m your lady, am I? I love that. I love being your lady.”
“You are. And a beautiful one at that.”
I know what it means – him asking me to call him by his given name. He doesn’t want to be Mr. Hyde or August anymore. He wants to be Eric. He wants me to know him as he is, not as the illusion he portrays. He wants me to love the real him. I’m not his assistant anymore. I’m no longer just a friend. I’m his lady. I’m special to him.
And he’s special to me.
August
I’ve finally let her in.
It takes me by surprise. Ruby Riverstone is sneaky that way; she slips in without you even realizing and grabs a tight hold of your heart. Letting myself be so vulnerable is terrifying. A single act or a single word from her mouth could bring me to my knees.
As we lie in each other’s arms on her small bed, tucked under her blankets, I know that this is worth it. This is worth all the hurt that could come to me in the future. I’ll let her destroy me if it means I can have this moment. She’s so beautiful, naked in my arms. I press my nose against the top of her head and inhale her sweet scent.
I’m in love. I know it. And it no longer scares me. I embrace it in this moment. “I didn’t want to get close to you.” My voice sounds quiet and a little unsure. “This moment right here… I was terrified of it.”
She pulls from my arms, looking concerned. “What do you mean?”
“I’m scared… the thought of losing you.” I want to explain, but there are so many complex emotions at play, some I don’t even fully grasp. What I went through with Olivia left me damaged, and those wounds aren’t quite healed yet. “You can’t play with me, Ruby. I’m not like the young guys you know – chasing skirts at bars every night of the week. This is real for me. This is the real thing for me. And I don’t know how I would take it if you broke me. I’ve been through the wringer already. You can’t just make me love you and then…” The words escape from my mouth in a rush, taking me entirely by surprise.
She’s speechless, completely taken off guard. I’ve said too much, and I want to take back the words, but it’s too late for that. Her mouth is closed tightly, and my heart pulses wildly as I imagine what she could possibly be thinking. Does she think I’m crazy? Is she searching for an escape hatch? Am I too much for her?
“You never have to be scared. I’ll always be here for you,” she says quietly. “You can trust me. I’m not playing either. This is real for me too. I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve never been in love.”
I melt as her words drift between us. She’s in love too. I press my mouth against hers in a soft kiss. “I love you,” it says.
When she pulls her lips from mine, she smiles as she looks in my eyes. “I promise I won’t break your heart, Eric.”
I smile. “I like it when you call me Eric.”
“It sounds a bit strange, but I think it suits you. It’s a sweet and soft name,” she says. “Which is how I see you.”
I smirk. “Really? I don’t think I was too sweet to you the other day on the floor of my piano room.”
She laughs. “No, that was August, the dirty boy who writes intense dark romance, who has a fetish for shoes and my ass, who fucks me like no tomorrow.”
My cock stands to attention. Her words arouse me, and I want to do that again… and soon. She bites her lip, her cheeks rosy. She’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, and I want to have her again right then.
“Maybe I could call you Eric when you make love to me,” she says bashfully. “And when… and when you fuck me, I’ll call you August.”
I beam. I like the sound of that. A lot. “Sounds perfect,” I practically growl as I grab her by the hips. “Be prepared to call me August now… or Mr. Hyde, if you prefer.”
She laughs loudly. “Okay. Mr. Hyde it is…”
As I press my mouth against her neck, a drawn-out meow tears through the door. Ruby stiffens and jumps instantly to her feet. I admire her wiggling behind as she smiles at an orange cat. It appears a bit wary as she studies me with serious eyes, but in no time, she jumps on the bed with us and makes herself right at home.
I give her a pat, having already forgiven her for so rudely interrupting us. “Gorgeous cat.”
“Ginger’s my best friend,” she says with the kind of smile that can brighten a whole room.
I understand where she’s coming from. I consider Miko my best friend, and I laugh at the absurdity of us. “I don’t know if this can work between us. Your best friend is a cat, and mine is a bird… not quite the perfect match, is it?”
She laughs and takes Ginger in her arms. “We’ll just have to work that out, I guess.”
I study her as she delicately pets her cherished cat. Ruby’s so full of love and light. I still can’t quite get over the feeling that I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve such happiness.
Her eyes light up when she suddenly blurts, “Hey, why don’t we play hooky today?”
I like that idea. “But would your boss think about that?”
“He would be cool with it,” she replies with a smirk. “I have the coolest boss in the world.”
I laugh. “Oh, is that right?”
We stay in bed for a while, indulging in each other and being as lazy as the cat. Then we venture into the kitchen, where she makes us salami sandwiches and salad. It’s the best sandwich I’ve had in a while, but that’s probably only because it was made by her and eaten in her company.
We then go out to the barn. She has her heart set on introducing me to the horses. I’m reluctant, but I can see how much she wants this. I love animals, and I know I’ll enjoy seeing them no matter how overwhelming it may seem. She points out that the barn will be quiet because at this time of year, there’s usually only her brother and the occasional rider or two.
After she slides open the heavy barn door, I venture in. The barn is dark and feels so foreign to me. The distinct smell cannot be ignored – a mix of manure, hay, and dirt, but it’s not all unpleasant. As a writer, I’m intrigued by all facets of the world. I know that these past few years, my writing has become darker because I’ve been caught in my self-imposed gloom. As a dark romance writer, that isn’t all bad, but to be able to explore the world feels so freeing.
I like the quiet. I’m amused by the way the horses peek their heads out of their stalls. Her brother is nowhere to be seen, so it’s just the two of us, the horses, and the occasional barn cat.
She introduces me to a beautiful spotted white mare named Buttercup and explains that Buttercup is hers. Ruby witnessed her birth and has ridden her for over ten years. As I watch her brush the majestic animal with the same care she gave to Ginger, I’m amazed by this exceptional woman. When she asks me if I’d like to touch Buttercup, I give the horse a soft stroke. Such a large, regal beast. When her dark, glossy eyes study me, it feels a bit unnerving. Ruby smiles at my obvious reservations.
Then I sit in the observation room and watch her ride Buttercup, circling the arena over and over. Every time she passes me, she smiles. She looks majestic, in control, and powerful. I’m jealous of her again; Ruby is so free, fearless, and full of life.
She smells of horses the rest of the afternoon, but I don’t mind. We settle in the living room and have tea, where I press my nose against her luscious hair and breathe her in. It’s a perfect day.
Until her older sister comes home. Then my monsters catch up with me. My pulse races, unsettled.
Amber extends her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, August. We’ve heard so much about you.”
For a second, I wonder if she’s referring to what Ruby has told her or to all the rumours which have unfortunately followed me to this small community. Either way, Amber doesn’t let on to what she’s heard. She offers me coffee and baked goods and jests about Ruby’s unruly ways.
Amber is perfect, as sweet and pretty as Ruby. She strikes me as more conservative and serious though. I suspect she often plays the role of mother and keeps her little sister in line.
She excuses herself to pick up her son, and when she comes back, I have the pleasure of meeting Trevor. We take an instant liking to each other. He is full of questions about Miko, and I promise that he can come and visit him one day soon. With Trevor, I can breathe properly. I’m sure he hasn’t heard the rumours. Children are sweet; they don’t judge as harshly as adults. They don’t pigeonhole. They simply ask a lot of questions. They’re curious, and I love curiosity in people. It tells me they’re open to getting to know me, slowly drawing a picture
of me and adding colours. They haven’t already pegged me as something, haven’t already painted me in a messy scribble.
Trevor and I play three games of Connect Four. He comes out the reigning champion, but I get the sense that he plays often.
Amber’s fiancé, Aiden, shows up a little later, and my traitorous mind gets a little riled. He and I are no strangers. He worked for the better part of eight months in my home, and I always felt a certain unease around him. Although I paid him handsomely, I was under the impression that he never liked me much.
Yet on this fine spring afternoon, he goes out of his way to be courteous. “Nice to see you again, Hyde. How’s everything holding up?”
I smile. “The roof hasn’t caved in yet. You did a fine job, sir.”
Shortly after, Ruby and Amber serve a traditional roast chicken dinner with carrots, green beans, and mashed potatoes. I sit next to Ruby, feeling out of sorts in their quaint dining room. If there’s anywhere one should feel completely at ease and welcome, it’s at this inn.
Ruby’s brother, Flynn, comes in in time for dinner, and I take an instant liking to him. With an easy smile and a quiet voice, he doesn’t jar my nerves as Aiden does. He has a very quiet, comforting presence. When Ruby tells me that Flynn’s a therapist, I’m not surprised. He seems suited to that profession.
They’re all kind and friendly and don’t seem to judge, yet my pulse races, my stomach is fussy, and I just cannot seem to breathe properly. Every time I catch a glance directed my way, I feel their scrutiny – real or imagined, I just don’t know. Four new people at one time is a lot to take in for a person who hasn’t ventured out in over two years and has only come in contact with a handful of people.
No one mentions Olivia, her death, or the scandal that followed me for months, although I know they’ve all heard the rumours, with the likely exception of Trevor. They ask me many questions about the house; this seems to be our safest topic of conversation. With Aiden chiming in once in a while, the conversation flows smoothly. When did you buy it? How old is it? What is its history? How many square feet is it?