“What will Colette think?”
Shrugging, he replied, “I don’t think she will pay it much attention.”
“I see.”
“What?”
“You mean she doesn’t know you and I have history. And I’m certainly no supermodel.” She gestured to herself. “So, of course, she would feel no jealousy.”
The lace trimmed camisole peeking through her white silk blouse was subtly sexy and paired well with her tailored navy blue blazer with white piping. She wore form-fitting jeans with wedges and had straightened her hair. The makeup she wore accented her lips and eyes but left her freckles bare. He thought she was gorgeous.
You’re the only one she should be jealous of, he wanted to say. Instead, he replied, “Fee, she only knows you as a friend of the band. And now as an employee of the band. That’s why she wouldn’t suspect anything.”
She nodded, unconvinced.
“Would it make you feel better if she knew you and I slept together? I’ll call her right now if that’s what you want,” he said and took his phone out of his pocket.
“Oh, stop.”
“Maybe a quick text? There’s something you should know,” he said haltingly, as if he were typing the words. “Felicity and I had lots and lots of hot sex when we were sixteen. And seventeen. She still thinks of me sometimes.”
“Jesus, Mary and holy saint Joseph! Will you give me some peace on that one?” she asked through laughter.
“Never. I love that you said it.”
She stopped laughing and looked at him for a long moment. A tangible heat rose between them despite the waiter arriving with their food.
They both took refuge in the meal—a bento box for him and udon soup for her—and ate for several minutes without speaking.
“I have to say, I’m impressed with the kind of thought you put into all the media issues for the band, CQ” she said at length. “I mean, you’re a little controlling, but I guess this is where your OCD pays off.”
And up go her walls once again. He wondered what it would take for her to be completely free with him.
“This is my job. My career. I take it very seriously,” he said. This point was important for him to get across. He thought he was as hard working as anyone else with an ambitious career.
She considered him for a moment. “I know you do.”
With that much desired affirmation from her, he relaxed in his chair to enjoy the rest of their lunch together.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Going through the runway show experience twice more, Gavin charmed the press and relaxed as much as possible under the spotlight that was focused upon him. He enjoyed watching Sophie strut down the catwalk in all her incarnations. During the time she was not the featured model, he occupied himself by reliving the brief sensuality they had shared in the café.
After Sophie’s prolonged goodbye hugs and kisses with everyone at the Valentino show, she and Gavin found a cab.
“So, this party you’ve committed us to tonight,” Gavin said as their car moved down Rue de Rivoli, “is it really necessary?”
“It’s a benefit put together by Stella McCartney. I already told her personally I would be there. They count on that publicity, you know.”
“I’d rather not spend more time watching that Stefan fella drool all over you.”
“You did make a pretty clear claim on me,” she replied with a laugh. She looked out the window at the Jardin des Tuileries. The afternoon sun was growing weak but that didn’t stop dozens of locals and tourists alike from roaming the statue-studded grounds.
“You didn’t even introduce me as your husband, Sophie.”
Glancing at him, she replied honestly, “Guess I’ve gotten out of the habit.”
“Is that the best you can do?”
The phrase was a call back to how they had challenged each other in both jest and fights ever since they were teenagers, and this time he was using it for the latter but she didn’t feel like taking the bait. She thought he was being overly sensitive given all that had happened over the past year.
“Oh, don’t pout,” she said playfully.
Her attempt to lighten the mood didn’t work. He was silent and she could feel the tension grow.
The cab driver zipped past the Place de la Concorde, the 75-foot Egyptian obelisk at the center of the public square becoming a blur as he raced to catch the light before it turned.
“I’m beginning to wonder why you asked me here,” he said.
Sophie considered him for a moment. “You want me to make this really easy, don’t you?”
“Make what easy?”
“Us getting back together.”
He held her gaze, assessing her. “So, have you been playing games with me? Is that it? You haven’t wanted us to be together at all?”
“No, I haven’t been playing games, Gavin. But I don’t want you to think this doesn’t take effort, either.”
“What hoops do you want me to jump through, then? At least spell it out so I’m clear on what you require,” he said, his voice clipped.
“That’s not fair and you know it.” She glared at him before turning and staring out her window.
In the silence between them, she watched as the stone apartment buildings of Rue Francois ler were adorned with increasingly posh cafés, boutiques, and high-end stores the closer they got to the hotel. Soon, the driver veered right to deposit them at The Four Seasons drop-off area and they went up to her suite with careful distance separating them.
Sophie sat down heavily on the living area love seat, exhausted from her day. Her feet were aching and she eagerly kicked off her ballet flats, digging her toes into the plush carpet.
A moment later, Gavin sat on the antique coffee table in front of her, his legs caged around hers. He had dressed up in his own way for the occasion in fitted, distressed blue jeans with a tight white cotton v-neck tee-shirt under a well-tailored navy blazer. He had added a soft gray scarf loose around his neck to complete the look but now that was discarded along with the blazer. His tee-shirt was untucked and he was back to looking like his normal disheveled self.
“I’ve hurt you,” he started. “I’ve been cruel, sometimes maliciously so. I’ve pushed you away and disregarded all you’ve given me. You offered unconditional love for so long and I took it for granted. I didn’t know I was doing that at the time, but I see it now. I see what I’ve done to you. I see why you don’t trust me, Sophie.”
She leaned forward. “That’s not what this is about. What we had was so wonderful. And I want to get back to that time with you. I mean, I do still love you. I’ve been falling in love with you all over again since Sydney,” she said and watched as he pressed his hand to his heart in response. “And all I’ve wanted today is to have sex with you.”
“Why didn’t you say so sooner?” he asked with a smile.
“But,” she continued, “I don’t believe that we can instantly repair things and get back to the way we were. I want you to understand how special we were and to really work to make that happen again.”
“I’m not under the impression that everything would be instantly perfect if we were to be together again. But the fact remains, we need to be together to work on it. I don’t want to play coy about this and date you. We’ve had too much history. God damn it, I know you. I love you. I married you. This isn’t the time for a courtship dance.”
Sophie couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head. “I know, baby. I know.”
“Darlin’, if you give me the chance, I will never stop proving to you how much I love you. I will spend my life cherishing you.”
She reached out and touched his face before kissing him.
“Give me the chance,” he murmured as he held her face closely to his. He rested his forehead against hers. This was the same intimate, pleading gesture he had made when asking her to marry him and they both knew it. “Please.”
She wanted to say yes, but found she couldn’t vocalize the word. Instead
they traded a series of lip-bruising kisses, their connection instant and insatiable at the same time.
Soon Gavin stood up and pulled her with him. “I need you. I need all of you,” he said. “No more keeping me at arm’s length. I’m your husband and I want you back.”
The firmness of the tone sent a thrill through her. She looked him in the eye and took his hand. Then she turned and pulled his arm over her shoulder so that his hand cupped her breast and his body pressed against hers from behind. As she guided him to the bedroom, he slipped his hand inside the opening of her shirt and under her bra. He squeezed her breast and pinched her hardened nipple and she dropped her head back with the pleasure of it. He let her hair fall onto his face, inhaling the hint of Coco Mademoiselle she had worn since she was a teenager.
In the bedroom, she turned, their faces inches apart. She reached down and pulled his belt loose while he quickly kicked off his boots. Trailing her fingers over his abs and chest, she felt the muscles there twitch beneath her touch and he anxiously removed his shirt and then let his jeans fall to the floor.
Sophie looked at the fully erect bulge pushing at his gray boxer briefs with some surprise.
“This,” she said as she grasped the hard length of him, “is impressive.”
“You don’t understand how much I want you, darlin’. I’ve been the King of Wank for months now and imaging you is not nearly as good as the real thing,” he told her and she laughed.
Watching him now, seeing the way he returned her gaze with such an open mixture of desire and love, she finally let all of her reservations go. It was time to drop the hesitations and efforts to protect her heart. Because she knew that they, as a couple, had always been inevitable. They would always be each other’s necessary piece for happiness.
She smiled and playfully pushed his shoulders hard enough to send him onto the bed so he could sit and watch as she undressed for him. Sliding out of her jeans, slipping off her tee-shirt, and teasingly pulling at her bra before letting it fall away, she recognized in him the same pleasure and contentment she felt.
Moving closer, she stood between his legs in nothing but a g-string. She reached out and touched the tattoo of her name on his chest, tracing the intricate gold letters slowly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his cheek against her taut belly for a moment. The deep breath he took was shaky as he let it out. Her husband, who was an incurable romantic and felt everything on such a profound level, was veering into an emotional love making session if she didn’t redirect him. She didn’t want to give in to the emotion of all that they had been through at this moment. She just wanted for them to give each other the physical release they so needed and deserved.
“Baby,” she said softly and after a moment he looked up at her expectantly. “Fuck me. I need you to just fuck me now.”
He grinned and pulled her down on top of him as he fell back onto the bed. Grabbing her backside, he quickly reversed their positions so he was in control. He kissed her deeply, grinding his hips against her and pressing into the softness between her legs.
She moaned at the sweet ache he created in her. He grabbed at her panties and pulled the side strap until it broke apart. In response, she pushed at his boxer briefs and he helped move them out of the way enough to be able to push himself into her willing body.
“That’s it,” she whispered into his ear and bit the lobe.
“You getting what you wanted?”
“Give me more.”
He pulled her leg up and over his shoulder as he thrust deeper. She took him in with an eagerness that matched his and the natural synchronicity of their bodies heightened their desire.
“It’s only us,” he told her.
“I—”
“Tell me,” he said and held her face as he looked into her eyes. “Tell me it’ll only ever be us, Sophie.”
Insecurity was plain in both his words and face, and she fought back tears for having caused this.
“It’s only us. You’re the only one I’ve ever belonged to,” she told him.
He pushed her leg back down and raised himself higher on her body so his movements pressed directly against her clitoris. She held his defined biceps and watched him as the intensity of his movements brought her closer to the edge. The weight of his body on hers, the friction of his thrusts, and the passion of his kisses brought her to an intense orgasm.
After several reviving breaths, she pushed her way on top of him and straddled his hips, giving him the view he had always been vocally appreciative of. She let her hair fall down her back, baring her breasts as she arched against him. With one hand, she trailed her fingers over her neck and down to her breast, touching herself in ways that always elevated his excitement. He gripped her hips in his hands and guided her into a quickened rhythm, ensuring his own satisfaction as he came.
~
Afterward, they lay together, their bodies entangled. Gavin stroked Sophie’s arm lazily as he gazed at the tray ceiling and softly lit chandelier.
“Tell me what you want, Sophie,” he said softly.
She turned and raised herself on an elbow so she could look at him. “I want you, Gavin. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Will you come home with me, then?”
“Yes.”
“Ah, you couldn’t have made me a happier man, darlin’,” he told her, his eyes brimming with tears.
~
They fulfilled Sophie’s obligation to attend the benefit that night and created a spectacle of themselves with frequent and unabashed public displays of affection. Drinking the complimentary champagne, they rebuffed conversation with others and instead made the party their own celebration and were thus oblivious to the press detailing their reunion.
On impulse, they caught the last flight from Paris to Dublin that night, anxious to be home together in Dalkey once again.
~
The house was dark when they arrived. It was after two in the morning but the moon was full and it reflected brilliantly off of the sea, shining brightly enough so they could make their way inside without turning on any lamps.
“How does it feel?” Gavin asked.
Sophie took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “It feels good. It feels like home.” She turned to him, her eyes shimmering with tears.
“Yes, it does now. It does now.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Sophie wore a black silk draped tank top with body hugging black leather pants and stilettos for the occasion of Conor’s house warming party. Her straightened blonde hair was down and made a striking contrast against the dark ensemble. Gavin wore his usual unpolished look of a faded gray Rogue tee-shirt and jeans along with a dark denim jacket and maroon scarf wrapped loosely around his neck.
They purposely arrived late to Conor’s, happy to join a crowd rather than be the start of things. This was their first outing since getting in from Paris two days prior. They had spent the time wrapped up in each other at home, alternating between extended sessions in bed and talking on the sofas as the rain came down outside. The idea of resuming their lives together as a couple was something they were both eager for, but yet the prospect of finding some normalcy with Conor went undiscussed.
Sophie knew Gavin was anxious about this party, about what he would feel when he saw her interact with Conor again after all this time. But he didn’t say anything and she thought it better to let the situation unfold on its own rather than try to predetermine it.
The house was overflowing with guests who appeared to have already enjoyed the open bar. The chatter was loud to compete with the house beat throbbing through hidden speakers. The living area’s glass doors were open and the deck and other outdoor spaces were generously adorned with heaters and fire-pit seating areas.
Shay was the first one to spot them. He gave Sophie a tight hug, and she was grateful for his warm welcome after these many months.
“You look great,” he told her.
“Thanks. You too! Where’s Jessica?�
�
“Just off to the jax. She’ll be happy to see you again.”
Gavin offered to find drinks for them and took their orders.
“I’m really glad to see you back with Gavin,” Shay confided when they were alone.
Sophie watched him for a moment, sensing there was more he wanted to say but was holding back. She and Shay had had a special connection since the day they met back in school. He had been almost painfully shy and made a point to lose himself in the headphones of his music whenever possible. Maternal and inclusive even at a young age, Sophie had taken it upon herself to bring Shay out of his shell whenever she could. He wasn’t someone who trusted easily, but he had warmed to her.
“You knew, didn’t you?” she said.
Shay met her eyes for a long moment before nodding.
“How long?”
He hesitated. “I guess I’ve sort of sensed at least Conor’s side of it for quite a while. It was clear he cared for you.”
This confirmed what she had sorted out after the fact, that Conor’s feelings for her had been obvious to those who could see objectively. That Shay had known about this and not interfered made her ever more grateful to him.
“Thanks, Shay. For taking care of Gavin when he needed it.”
Before he could respond, Gavin and then Jessica joined them. The two couples chatted and enjoyed their drinks amid the crush of guests.
“I don’t believe it! Sophie Kavanaugh!”
Sophie turned to find Felicity making her way toward her. The two women hugged excitedly.
“You really did grow up into a supermodel, didn’t you?” Felicity said, looking up at Sophie. The three-inch heels Felicity wore to boost her own height to 5’8” didn’t do much to level her with her old friend.
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