Lily
“You think you can do better than me?”
Chris’s roar was primal, terrifying. Glass shattered on the closed door and I froze. He was trying to scare me, I told myself. He would never actually hurt me. He was just trying to scare me. All I had to do was keep packing, and get out of here. Chris wouldn’t really break the door down.
Would he?
I paused, looking over my shoulder.
“What the hell’s gotten into you?” He was talking again instead of yelling, leaning against the door. I could practically smell the alcohol from here. “You won’t apologize. You say you’re going to leave. What the hell’s gotten into you?
I don’t have a damned clue.
I didn’t say it, but it was true, even if Chris would never accept it. Something had changed in the last night, something that just might have everything to do with having mind-blowing sex with a guy who was practically a stranger. Something about feeling like maybe, just maybe, I was someone who was desirable.
The stranger had thrown me out afterward, I reminded myself firmly. And he was a complete jerk who I’d seen carrying a body in a dark alleyway in Chinatown.
Details. If it helped give me the courage to get out of here without begging Chris to take me back, I’d take it.
And he didn’t seem much like a murderer. Dangerous, yes. Someone I wouldn’t want to cross, yes. A murderer? No.
“He was carrying a body, Lily,” I muttered under my breath.
I paused and considered myself in the mirror. If he wasn’t a murderer, that still made him a jerk. He’d fucked me, come inside me while I begged him for more—
I flushed and bit my lip, then zipped the suitcase closed. I didn’t have much stuff anymore, since I’d gone to Shanghai, so it hadn’t taken much time to pack. I took a deep breath, for courage, and then yanked the door open and pushed my way past Chris. He tried to stand in my way, but he was too drunk, and for the first time, I felt something like pity for him.
“You’re going to regret this, you know that? I’m not taking you back.”
“Good.” I continued on my way without a backwards glance.
“You bitch.” He grabbed my arm to swing me around with bruising force.
I didn’t think, I just reacted. My palm hit his face hard, harder than I’d intended, and he stumbled sideways.
I had to get out. I grabbed the suitcase and ran, slamming the door behind me. I kept running in the hallway, my breath coming ragged, tears starting in my eyes. I forced myself not to look back, but I could still hear him shouting after me.
“I’m going to find out who it is, who you’ve been fucking! And I’m going to fucking ruin your life, Lily!”
I was three streets away before the adrenaline eased up enough for me to stop and then I was crying, slumped against one of the buildings with my face in my hands. Bystanders hurried by, no one even stopping for a second, and I hunched over, shaking with sobs.
I had never felt so alone in my life.
Chapter 7
Donovan
“Sir?”
“What?” I looked up from my computer and frowned. “For the last time—”
“It doesn’t feel right calling you by your first name.” Colton, my assistant, shook his head regretfully.
“It should, since I’ve asked you to.” I took a sip of my coffee and raised an eyebrow. “What is it?” I tried not to snap, and wasn’t entirely sure if I’d managed it. It had been a trying morning.
“I was asking if…you were all right.” Colton flushed miserably.
I studied him, and experienced something that felt uncomfortably like a stab of guilt. The man was in over his head, and it was my fault—I should never have dragged him into the events of last night. With sandy blonde hair and a face that flushed easily, Colton already looked younger than he was—a guy who managed to make tailored suits look dorky instead of impressive. He was far too nice for his own good and also, as it happened, and thought he was one of the most competent people in my organization, I should have known better than to keep him out of what was happening with Sheng-li.
“I’m perfectly all right,” I said levelly.
“Are you sure—”
“Colton. Everything will be all right. I know that last night was…distressing.”
He swallowed, and I bent my head and resisted the urge to run my fingers through my hair. When I looked up, he was staring down at his feet.
“What is it?”
He opened his mouth to speak, and seemed to think better of it. “Nothing. I’ll get those files sent over to Technology.”
“What files?”
“The…files you asked me to send this morning.”
He looked at me blankly, and I cast a despairing glance at my computer. This morning had been a haze of trying to forget everything about last night, knowing I had to do something about Sheng-li, knowing his bosses were getting suspicious, and knowing…
Knowing that all I wanted was to go find her. Lily. I bent my head and rubbed at my forehead.
“Right.”
The thought of her made my heart twist, a somewhat shocking sensation—I thought I had left all of that behind long ago. She had looked so hurt, so shocked by my coldness. I had let it think it was her fault—and now, no matter how many times I told myself the simple fact that she was better off never looking for me again, I couldn’t stop thinking of her face in that moment.
It was better that I’d lied to her, that I let her think she was nothing to me.
She was nothing to me.
She would be, anyway. I would forget about her. I clenched my fingers and laid my head back on the back of my chair.
“Sir—”
“I’ve told you not to call me that.”
Colton ignored me. “Something is clearly wrong.” For the first time since I’d known him, the boy stood his ground.
“And you want to know what it is? Idle curiosity, or something else?”
“I want to help.” He seemed genuinely offended by the idea that I thought he would gossip. He swallowed, and seemed to find some courage from somewhere. “Is this about the girl I took home this morning?”
I went completely still, and whatever he saw in my eyes, Colton’s face paled.
To his credit, though, he didn’t back down. “She seemed nice.”
“We’re not talking about this.” I looked deliberately back to my computer.
“Sir—“
“Colton. I am warning you.”
“She’s the girl you and Hayden saw in Chinatown, isn’t she?”
My head jerked up, every sense on high alert. “How did you know about that?”
“He told me. When he called me to help.”
Goddammit. “What did he say? What exactly?” And what the hell might he say to Sheng-li? The stupid bastard, I should have known better than to let him off the leash for a single second.
“He said I needed to come help because you were chasing some college student you’d met at a bar.”
That sounded about right. Hayden hadn’t wanted any part of last night; he’d told me Sheng-li would find out. I was going to have to placate him somehow—he’d already spent most of the morning bombarding me with texts and emails about how to hide our tracks.
I sighed. “Anything else?”
“No.” Colton looked frightened.
I forced myself to focus.
“Listen to me.” My voice was level. “You will never speak of this again, do you hear me? If anyone asks you, anyone at all, you never met Lily. You don’t know what she looks like, you don’t know anything about her. You aren’t sure if I spent the night with anyone, and if I did, you’re very sure it was a one-night stand. Are we clear?”
Colton’s face had changed. He was staring at me oddly.
“You’re…trying to protect her,” he said slowly.
Something cold seemed to close around my heart.
“Of course, I am.” My voice was level. I kne
w I was smiling—that charming, cold smile that tended to make other men look away from me hastily. I needed to remind myself of who I was, and what I was involved in. “It occurs to me that Sheng-li might decide that she was involved in the events of last night when she was not. Therefore—”
“You should go see her.” Colton interrupted me without apology.
“There’s no need. She’s disappeared.”
He only stared at me, and I sighed. This was a bad morning for insurrection amongst my staff, but that was apparently where we found ourselves.
“Very well, Colton. Why should I go see her?”
“Because I’ve never seen you try to be noble before.”
He smiled as he said the words. He knew me well enough, I realized, to know that I wouldn’t take that as an insult. He knew what I often said: that attempts at nobility often did more harm than good, that pragmatism did more for people than morals. Still, he put me in the awkward position of having to defend myself.
“You know Sheng-li is having me watched.”
“As it happens, his watchers have left for the morning.” Colton raised his eyebrows. “They’ve been staying around for longer lately, but they seem to think everything is normal. I think they think we dumped the body—” He broke off at the look on my face and swallowed hard. “Right. They’re uh…they’re not here anymore. You can go if you want.”
I rubbed my forehead and searched for an excuse that would make sense to this unexpected romantic. “I don’t know where to find her, even if I wanted to.”
I could if I wanted to, of course, a fact that my mind had been reminding me of traitorously all morning. I was going to pretend, however, that it was impossible.
Colton ruined that cheerfully.
“She goes to Columbia Law.”
I stared at him. “You talked, did you?”
“I said she was nice.”
“Yes. You did.”
“She really is. Very…well, I guess I didn’t think she was your type. But I really like her, I think she’d be good for you. In a way—” He stopped, seeing my face.
“Are you finished?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Where are you going?” he asked, as I left.
“To find her.”
I should have let her be. I should have let her walk out of that bar without ever talking to her. I told myself that I was going to explain things to her, tell her how important it was that she never admit she saw me. Tell her that her safety depended on it. I’d walk away after that, I promised myself.
Even then, I knew I was lying.
Chapter 8
Lily
“If you have questions before Monday’s test, come see me during my office hours.” Dr. Lare nodded out at all of us and folded her notes. “I suggest you review the chapter on Chinese patent law. That is all. Dismissed.”
We filed out, my classmates swirling around me in a sluggish throng. We were far enough into the semester that our early morning enthusiasm was gone, but not far enough that we’d begun to compensate properly with coffee.
“You want help studying?” Bei was at my side, nudging me with her elbow. “I know all about Chinese patent enforcement.”
I gave her a tired smile. “That would be nice.”
“Are you all right?” She put an arm around me, comfortable in the jostle as only a Shanghai girl could be. “I saw you come in to class and it looked like you’d been crying.”
I had managed to forget this morning’s fight with Chris, and now it all came rushing back. Worse, I knew she wouldn’t approve if I told her. I swallowed hard.
“It’s, uh…I didn’t sleep very well.”
“Where were you last night? I was really worried, even after you texted me.”
“I got a hotel for the night. I just wanted to be alone.” It sounded like a ridiculous lie, which of course it was, but I knew the truth would sound even worse. “It’s—”
“Isn’t that the guy from the bar last night?” She stopped.
My head jerked up and I felt my mouth drop open.
There he was, indeed, waiting at the door out of the building. He was wearing a blue suit that made his brown eyes stand out vividly, standing with his arms crossed across a chest I knew was just as broad and well-muscled as the suit made it look. The way he leaned against the wall only seemed to heighten the sense of threat. He reminded me of a panther, slinking easily through the forest. It might look lazy, but you never forgot what it was.
You’re mine. The memory of his voice made me weak at the knees.
“I guess that’s him.” I tried to sound casual, but my voice came out all weird, and I actually took a step back when he pushed off the wall and advanced on me like I was prey.
Bei looked between me and him, and then down at her watch. She squared her shoulders and opened her mouth—
“I’ll be fine.” Seriously, what was wrong with my voice? “You get to class. I’ll see you tonight?”
“You’re sure?”
Whatever he was about to say, she could not hear it. “Yes! Yes. Go on, I’ll be home tonight, I promise.”
“O…kay?” She gave one last look at me, and another at him—subtly admiring—and hurried away.
I crossed my arms over my chest and readied for battle, and when he stopped in front of me, I said the only thing I could think of.
“Well?”
To my surprise, he seemed as amused by my rudeness as he was by my stupidity the nigh before.
“Good morning.” Oh, God, his voice was exactly like I remembered it, too, velvet over iron—what, was I a poet now or something?—that made my skin go all tight.
I opened my mouth again and nothing came out.
“We need to talk. I should explain…” He looked around himself and, seeing an open classroom, pushed me into it and shut the door behind us, his hand burning in the small of my back.
At the sound of the lock clicking, I felt a thrill run down my spine.
“Let me out.”
“In a moment.” He raised his eyebrows. “I’ve told you I won’t hurt you.”
“Yeah, well—I’m not exactly inclined to believe what you say anymore, especially after what I saw in—”
I was up against the wall and he had a single finger over my lips, his gaze locked on mine.
“You don’t know what you saw.” His finger withdrew slowly, dragging over my lips, and his mouth hovered near mine. “I promise, there is a great deal more to all of this than you know.”
“A body is a body.” I closed my eyes, trying to keep my wits about me, but I could feel the heat of him, I could remember all too well the way he’d felt inside me. My breath was coming short. Focus. I should be able to focus. “I should—go to the police.”
“Should you.” His head dipped and I felt his lips on my neck.
“Oh, God…” It was a whimper. My head dropped back. Anger had carried me comfortably through the night, and this morning I’d had other things to keep my mind away from him, but now, with him here…
“Lily.” His voice was ragged, and his fingers clenched on my hip. He pushed away from me with an oath and turned away, hands in his pockets. He kept his eyes fixed on the far wall, and his voice was emotionless. “There’s no need for you to be caught up in this. What you saw was not as simple as it seemed. If you go to the police now—” He turned to look at me, and I swallowed at the look on his face. “You’ll be in over your head.”
“I’m a law student. I know exactly what to say to them—”
“Do you know which cops in each precinct are bought and which aren’t?” he asked, almost conversationally. “Do you have the first idea of what you’re working with?”
“You’re with the mafia.” A pit opened in my stomach, and his silence made my mouth drop open in horror. “You’re with the mafia?”
He didn’t even deny it.
“You can’t get mixed up in this.” His eyes were cold and ha
rd. “You don’t understand what’s going on here, you don’t know that world. I do. I came here…” His eyes raked over me and he looked away; I saw his fingers clench in his pocket. “I came here to tell you that. You need to know what the stakes are.”
“You’re bluffing.” I grabbed my bag and grabbed for the door handle. He was three steps away, and—
He was faster than me. He had my wrists over my head, slammed against the wall so hard that I winced, and his eyes were blazing down at me.
“You. Don’t. Understand.” He bit off each word. “You don’t know what you’re playing with. You do not have any idea how many lives you could ruin with this—innocent lives, Lily.”
“If you put innocent people in the middle of this, that’s not on my head. I’m not going to let you get away with—”
“With what?” he asked, almost pleasantly. His body pressed against mine and I saw a muscle in his jaw twitch.
I stayed silent. I didn’t actually know what he was getting away with.
He knew it, of course. “You see? You don’t understand. Just don’t go to the police.” His fingers tightened around my wrists. “Stay out of Chinatown. That’s all you have to do.”
He’d given his conditions, but he didn’t release me. I could feel his chest rising faster as his breath came shallow.
Say you’re mine.
I should have agreed and let him walk out of there thinking he had won. It was the only smart thing to do. I should have promised whatever he wanted.
But as I saw desire rising in his eyes, I instead said the one thing I knew I shouldn’t, my lips tilted up to his:
“Does that mean I’m not yours anymore?”
He gave a muttered oath. His hands were gone from my wrists and he stepped back, chest heaving. He stared at me for a long moment.
I saw him break and knew a thrill of fear as he yanked me up against him.
“Over the desk.” He released me, pushed me towards it.
This wasn’t happening, part of me thought dreamily. It couldn’t be happening. Strange men didn’t—
Dark Lust: An Alpha Billionaire Romance (Books 1-5) Page 4