“I can,” Vivienne Trent said. There was a small silence. She leaned back against the sofa looking reflective. “Doctors like your daughter are the true heroes, Countess, so very selfless and in so many ways, she said at last. “You must be awfully proud of her and the contribution she is making. After all, she is endeavoring to create a safer world for us to live in.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Trent, that’s very kind of you to say so. And yes, it’s true, I am proud of Ariel. Very proud.” I paused, shook my head.
“But I’m also very worried a great deal of the time,” I finished with a pained smile.
“I can well appreciate why. Did your daughter meet Sebastian through her work? I imagine she must have.”
“You’re correct in that assumption. In actuality, she sought him out, went to see him. She wanted his foundation to fund a special project.
A medical project some friends of hers were working on in Zaire.”
“And did he?”
“Of course. Would you expect otherwise?” I looked at her pointedly.
She laughed. “No. He was always so generous, and especially when it came to medical research.”
“From what I know of him . . . have learned about him, he was a very good man, I think.” As I said this I realized Vivienne Trent’s eyes were focused on a table at the other side of the room.
Following her gaze, I exclaimed, “An, I see you, are interested in photographs of my family . . . of my husband Edouard, my son Charles, and my Ariel. She’s the young woman in the photograph standing next to theirs.”
Swinging her eyes back to mine, she said, “She’s very lovely. May I go and take a closer look, Countess?”
“Please do.”
Rising she walked across the room. I watched her staring at the photograph of Ariel, fully understanding her interest in my daughter.
She then peered at the pictures of my husband and my son. It was at this moment that I felt the first stab of pain, a pain so fierce I closed my eyes and sucked in my breath, trying not to gasp out loud. I had not suffered from the pain for several weeks now and it took me by surprise.
“Countess, Countess, is there something wrong?” Vivienne Trent was saying.
I opened my eyes as she drew to a standstill next to my chair.
Taking a deep breath, I explained, “I’m afraid I’m in pain quite suddenly, Mrs. ‘Trent.”
“Cad and my son. It was at this moment that I felt the first stab of pain, a pain so fierce I closed my eyes and sucked in my breath, trying not to gasp out loud. I had not suffered from the pain for several weeks now and it took me by surprise.
“Countess, Countess, is there something wrong?” Vivienne Trent was saying.
I opened my eyes as she drew to a standstill next to my chair.
Taking a deep breath, I explained, “I’m afraid I’m in pain quite suddenly, Mrs. ‘Trent.”
“Can I help you? Perhaps I can get you something.” Bending over me, her face taut with concern, she asked, “Are you ill? Do you need medication of some kind?”
I was moved by her consideration and reached out, touched her hand resting lightly on my arm. “I’ll be all right, thank you. But I will have to bring our talk to a close now.”
“Yes, of course, I do understand. You’ve been very generous with your time, Countess. In fact, I think I may have overstayed my welcome .
When we spoke on the phone, you did say an hour and I think I’ve been here a bit longer than that.”
“I enjoyed meeting you,” I said. I was feeling faint, and when the stabbing pain attacked again I winced.
Vivienne Trent could not fail to notice this and exclaimed, “Oh, Countess! I know you’re ill! I must go and fetch your butler. Don’t you think I should do that?”
I could only nod. Then I managed to say, “There’s a bell over there, near the console. You just have to push it, and Hubert will be here in an instant.”
212Barbara Taylor Bradfonl She did this and then returned to my side, hovering over me. “I wish I could help you in some way, make you feel better, Countess.”
“I’m afraid that’s impossible, Mrs. ‘Trent,” I said. “You see I have cancer. I’m dying.”
3Q
It is foolish for an old woman to fall under the spell of a younger one.
Both women are bound to get hurt.
Inevitably the younger woman will grow bored, resentful of the older woman’s wisdom and the burden of her age. And the old woman will feel hurt and abandoned when she is eventually rejected.
I suppose it is only natural that young feet want to keep running, doing, experiencing, while old feet have a tendency to slow.
I knew all this, had known it for a long time, and yet I had allowed myself to fall under the spell of Vivienne Trent. Fortunately, the negative aspects did not feature in the equation in our particular case.
And for one simple reason: I was not going to be in this life very long.
Therefore, there was no time for either of us to cause pain to the other.
My doctors had told me several months ago that there was nothing more they could do for me. They had allowed me to leave the hospital so that I could spend what time I had left in my own home.
I had not told Charles or Ariel, or anyone else, how close the end was for me. There was no point. They could do nothing to help me. In one sense, I was being self-protective. I had long realized that I would not be capable of dealing with my children’s emotions if they knew I was dying. I did not have the strength.
I yearned for peace and quiet, needed to spend what short time I had left leading as normal a life as possible. It was important for me to go about my business whenever I was able to do so with my dignity and pride intact.
Although I had not confided in my children, I had told Vivienne
‘Trent the truth. I had done this one week ago today, the afternoon we were having tea. The words had been said without any thought on my part, nor did it matter that I had uttered them.
I felt quite comfortable that she knew I was facing imminent death.
In part this was because she was a stranger.
However, I had also witnessed her display of genuine concern for me, and she had shown me her compassionate side.
The fact was I trusted this young woman.
I had seen something fine and good and essentially honest in her that day. And in the past week she had proven that I was correct in my judgment of her.
A day hasn’t gone by without her telephoning me to see how I was feeling. She has sent flowers and books she thought I might like.
IWo of the books were her own, books she had written herself.
One of them was about Napoleon and Josephine and the early years of their marriage, and the other was a biography of Catherine the Great of Russia. They had been most revealing of the author in so many different ways.
Everyday for the past few days, Vivienne had come to tea at four o clock, just to sit with me and keep me company. She had told me a great deal about herself, her life, her houses in Lourmarin and Connecticut , entertained me in such a delightful way she had managed to take my mind off my illness.
Thankfully I’ve come to feel much better in the last twenty4our hours.
The pain has finally lessened. I’m almost free of it again.
Never once in this last week had Vivienne asked me a single question about Ariel and her relationship with Sebastian Locke. Nor did -she mention the profile she is writing about him.
It is possible to know a person for a whole lifetime and not know them at all. Yet I knew Vivienne ‘Trent the very first day we met, knew her as if we had been intimate friends for many years.
She was an endearing young woman, very beguiling, and crept under one’s skin. I could understand why a man like Sebastian Locke had loved her as a young girl and later when she was a grown woman.
Vivienne was intelligent, sincere, warm, and loving, and she did not have a bad bone in her body. What is more, she seemed to be totally -without cy
nicism.
In certain ways she reminded me of my daughter.
They were rather similar in character-responsible, caring, dedicated , and disciplined young women with good values and a sense of purpose.
But Vivienne was much more worldly, more sophisticated, and certainly more lighthearted than Ariel.
My daughter had always had an unusual aura about her, one that many mistook for aloofness. It was, in fact, an aura of isolation, some thing which is not uncommon in the truly gifted, who are different, who do seem somewhat removed from us lesser mortals. It is as though they live on another plane altogether.
Ariel’s work had always dominated her life. She had had little time for anything else most of her adult years. Until Sebastian Locke came into her life. Now that he was dead I was thankful that she had her work as a virologist to fall back on. Dangerous work in so many ways, but it had always consumed her, was something she loved and was excited by. And it would get her through this difficult period in her life.
I longed to see her again before I died, my beautiful child of my heart.
But I feared I would not. Unless she finished her current project sooner than expected and came home to Paris.
It was not possible for me to tell her how ill I really was. If I did, if I said I needed her, she would drop everything in Africa and come running to me. But that would be such a selfish act on my part.
She had been mine for thirty-three years and had given me so much pleasure and joy, fulfilled so many of my dreams and hopes for her.
And she had been a good daughter. Therefore my impending death did not amount to much in the overall scheme of things.
I knew Ariel loved me, knew that I would live on in her heart and memory long after I was dead. Just as Edouard did. Like most girls she had been close to her father, and Edouard had adored her. She would have her memories to sustain her. She and her brother were also close.
They would always be there for each other.
As for Charles, he would hurry to me when I finally told him the truth, and he and Marguerite would stay with me until the end.
But the pale rider on the pale horse had not come to take me yet.
I believed I still had a few weeks left on this earth. I had felt so much better today. The medication had finally alleviated the severe pain that had attacked me so savagely last week. I was back on my feet again, able to cope.
I was determined that Vivienne and I would have tea outside in the garden today. I had told Hubert as much. He had agreed that it was warm enough, and I could see him now from my bedroom window. He was arranging cushions on a garden seat, and Josie, the maid, was covering a small table with a white linen cloth.
Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was 3:45. Vivienne would be here promptly at four. She was never late.
“Could I ask you something rather personal, Countess Zoe?”
Vivienne said carefully, her head cocked to one side, her eyes smiling.
“You can ask me anything Vivienne,” I said, “And I’ll certainly answer you if I can.”
216Bwbam Taylor Boyd
“Ale you French?”
“Yes, I am. Why?”
“You speak such perfect English, but I detect a slight accent.
It’s one I can’t place. And you don’t sound like most French people do when they’re speaking English. I just wondered if you had been born some where else?”
“How clever of you to pick that up. You must have a good ear.”
“So you’re not French then,” she asserted.
“Yes, I am, by nationality, Vivienne. I became a French citizen many, many years ago. But I was born in America. Of Irish parentage, actually. My mother and father emigrated to America with their parents when they were small children. They both grew up in New York.
“How amazing! You’re an Irish-American, then.”
They met each other there and married.”
I nodded and said, “Originally, yes. But why do you sound so surprised
?”
“You’re so French. You have such chic, such great style, what I call true French style, the way you look and dress, and yet you’re not French at all-“ She cut herself off and shook her head. “I shouldn’t say that!
Of course you’re French. After years of living here, absorbing the culture, the mores and manners of the French, and being married to a Frenchman, how could you not be.”
“Funnily enough I feel very French, Vivienne. And what you’re hearing in my voice is a slight lilt I think. The Irish lilt I picked up from my mother when I was growing up. But do you know, I didn’t even realize it was still in evidence when I spoke English.”
“It’s faint, but it’s there,” she answered.
“Let me explain. When I first came to Paris I fell in love with the city, long before I met Edouard and fell in love with him. I knew I wanted to live here, nowhere else would do for me, once I’d seen the city of light. So I immediately started to take French lessons, knowing that I must speak the language if I was going to settle in Paris. I’m glad I stayed. France has been good to me. I’ve never regretted moving here.”
“Did you come to France from America?” Vivienne asked.
“No, from London. I had been living there through the war years.”
I picked up the teapot and filled her cup and then my own.
“Thank you,” she said, sat back in the wrought-iron garden chair, and glanced aund the garden. It seemed to me that she was lost in thought.
I studied her. She appeared to be preoccupied, as if she were trou bled, and after a moment, I said, “Are you all right? Is everything all right with you, Vivienne?”
“Yes, of course, why are you asking?”
“You look so very preoccupied, even a little worried,” I replied.
“Countess Zoe . . . there is something I feel I must say. I was going to mention it yesterday, but it was already getting late and I didn’t want to tire you. I hesitate to bring it up even now.”
“You can. I’m perfectly fine,” I reassured her. “I told you earlier, the medicine has worked wonders for me in the last twenty4our hours. So why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind? why don’t you unburden yourself?”
“It’s like this-“ She stopped somewhat abruptly, sighed and looked away, but eventually she brought her gaze back to mine.
Her clear, green eyes were filled with such intelligence, candor, and honesty they almost took my breath away.
She said in a low, serious voice, “There’s something I want to tell you, to explain.”
I nodded.
“Last Tuesday, when I first met you, I was very drawn to you. In the hour I was here, I felt as if I knew you, as if I’d always known you.
When you collapsed I wanted to help you. I couldn’t bear to see you suffering. I’ve been coming to see you ever since because I cared.
As we’ve talked these past few days, and come to know each other, it’s seemed to me that there’s a bond between us. It’s hard to explain, because we did meet only a week ago. But I really mean what I say. I do feel close to you, Countess Zoe.”
“I know you do, vivienne, and I feel that way myself. There is a bond.
As though something is pulling us closer together.” I patted her hand.
“I wish we’d met a long time ago. You’re a very special young woman, Vivienne, and you’ve become quite dear to me in only a few days.
I want you to know that you’ve been a comfort to me this past week.
You have helped me to pull through that little crisis.”
“I’m so glad!” she exclaimed, looking pleased and took hold of my hand, held it tightly in hers for a moment.
“You remind me so much of Ariel,” I confided, smiling at her. “I wish you had known each other. I think you would have been friends.
Good friends.”
“That’s what Sebastian wanted, Countess Zoe. He said that last October when he told me he was going to marry her. He’d hoped I would
be spending Christmas in Connecticut. He wanted me to meet L Ariel then, and he was so disappointed when I explained I was going to be in France.
He said he would bring her to Lourmarin in the new year, that he knew we would like each other, that we’d love each other when we met. He explained that he wanted me to be at their wedding in the spring. Actually, I had a strong suspicion he wanted to have it at Vieux Moulin.”
“And how would you have really felt about that, if he had suggested it?”
I asked, my eyes resting on her thoughtfully.
“I would have been pleased,” she responded. “And I would have made them very welcome, given them a lovely wedding. I genuinely cared about him.
He was my only family. Hut then you know that.”
“Yes,” I said softly. “I do.”
“Countess Zoe?”
“Yes, Vivienne?” I looked at her alertly, detecting something different in her voice. I braced myself.
“I don’t want to upset you, and I know you know that. I truly hope you don’t think I’ve been coming to see you this past week because I have an ulterior motive. And, I’m quite certain you accept that I’m very sincere in all that I’ve just said to you. But I have to ask you something.”
“Then ask me, my dear.”
“I would still like to meet Ariel. Won’t you arrange that for me, please, Countess Zoe?”
“Vivienne, I cannot.”
“An hour, two at the most, that’s all I need with her. I could fly to Zaire. Talk to her for a short while, and then leave. I’d leave immediately , you have my promise. Please,” she pleaded.
“Vivienne, no. I cannot arrange it.”
“what harm would it do?” she asked.
“More than you could possibly imagine!” I exclaimed and hated the fact that my voice had risen sharply, but I couldn’t help myself.
Swiftly, I went on more softly, “When Ariel heard the news of Se bastian Locke’s death she was devastated. She was ill for several weeks. A little later she even took herself out of her own research project, for her own safety. She was slow in recovering from the news of his death and she was afraid she might make an error in her experiments with the virus that could cost lives. His death affected her very deeply. And to have you go there now, only seven months later, to interrogate her, to ask questions about their relationship, about his demeanor, attitude, and mental state in the last few weeks of his life would only open up wounds. Wounds that have just begun to heal. The kind of work Ariel does is so stressful, so dangerous, I don’t want her to be distracted by any emotional upsets.”
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