I shake my head. I have no clue what I do to him and I have no idea how I go about doing whatever it is that I do to him. I do, however, know what he does to me. And frankly, I love what he does to me.
“Baby, there’s not a moment in the day that I don’t think of you. It’s only been a week and I feel for you what I’ve never felt for anyone else.”
I stare at him. I’m bewildered by his statement. He feels about me the way I feel about him. “Abigail, I’m falling in love with you,” he whispers as his lips touch mine.
I run my fingers through his hair as he kisses my lips. A small groan leaves his mouth and he pulls me closer and kisses me deeper. His hands leave my waist and begin to move up my rib cage. Oh no! I’m not prepared for this.
I break the kiss and take a step back. I look down at the ground and intertwine my fingers. Tommy gently places his hand over mine and, with his free hand, cups my chin to make me look at him.
“I’m sorry, Abigail. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable,” he says, his eyes full of worry and concern.
“You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. It’s just….” I don’t know how to finish the sentence.
“Abigail, you can tell me anything. I have to know what you are thinking, angel.”
“It’s just, I’m still a virgin,” I whisper and my eyes stray back to my hands. I feel like I’m about ready to cry. Why couldn’t I just go with the flow? Why did I have to act like I don’t know what I’m doing?
He grabs my chin so I’m, again, looking up at him. “Abigail, we will take this as fast or as slow as you like. I’m in no hurry. I just enjoy being with you. I love feeling your body close to mine.”
“Tommy, I want to make love to you tonight. I have thought about you and us all week, but I’m scared.”
“Don’t worry, baby. I love you. You don’t need to be scared.” He places his lips against mine and, the next thing I know, I’m in his arms and he’s carrying me to his bedroom, the door closing behind him.
Chapter Three
It’s late on Sunday morning when my eyes flutter open. I awaken in my bed. Last night seems like such a long time ago. So much has happened. Tommy, being the romantic that he is, made love to me and made it as special as I ever could have imagined. He was gentle with me and made sure that I was comfortable through the whole experience. Making love to Tommy was so amazing, but the cuddling afterwards was my favorite part. I laid there with my head on his chest, listening to the beating of his heart, while he ran his thumb over my exposed shoulder and giving me light kisses on the forehead. If I had any questions about my love for Tommy, they have completely evaporated today. I am hopelessly in love with Thomas Jackson. My day starts and ends with that hunk of a man.
Tommy told me that his friend, Lucas and his girlfriend, Jessica, were going to the beach for a mid-afternoon picnic and he wanted to know if I wanted to join them and make it a double date. How could I say no to my sexy man? He said he would pick me up at one o’clock. I have never been on a double date before and I’m really not comfortable people I don’t know, but I’m not too worried about that right now. I get to see Tommy and I would walk over hot coals to see that man.
My phone begins to vibrate indicating that I have an incoming text message. I reach over to the nightstand and unlock my phone.
I better get a play by play account of what you and Tommy did last night.
Of course, it’s Katherine wanting to know everything about everything.
I have another date with him today. I’ll text you later.
Yea, that’s not going to make Katherine a very happy person but she is just going to have to learn to be patient. I don’t have time to call her. I have to get ready. I plug my iPod into my dock and push play. I hear the song ‘Angel’ by Aerosmith start to play as I open my closet door. I make a mental note to wash a load of laundry tonight or else I’m going to be going to school butt-naked tomorrow. I sure wouldn’t want to scare anyone with my white ass. I grab out a pair of hip-hugging jeans and a baby blue sweater. I pull my hair into a high pony tail and put a little mascara and lip gloss on.
As I’m applying the lip gloss, I hear the doorbell. My parents are gone for the day, so I hurry out of my room and down the hallway to the front door. I open the door expecting to see Tommy, but I am caught off guard when I see Jeremy standing in front of me. What is he doing here? “Hi, Jeremy, what’s up?”
“Abigail, I need to talk to you.”
“Well, I’m about ready to head out for the day,” I respond a little rudely because I am a bit irritated that he’s here and I’m supposed to be leaving soon.
“It won’t take but a minute. I need to talk to you about Tommy.”
I open the door wider and motion for him to come in. He walks to the living room and sits on the arm of the sofa. “So, what about Tommy?”
“Look, Abigail, you’re my friend and I like you, but I don’t think Tommy is good for you.”
My mouth drops open and I feel anger begin to sweep over me. “Who are you to determine who is good for me and who isn’t? Do you think you are better for me, is that it?”
“Abigail, my sister went to school with Tommy. She told me that he’s bad news. He’s a womanizer. He won’t treat you well!”
“Oh, and let me guess,” I say without regards to his feelings, “You will treat me better? Guess what, Jeremy, jealousy doesn’t look good on you.”
“Abigail, I’m not jealous. I just want you happy and safe. You wouldn’t be happy with me, I get that, but I don’t want you compromising your safety for happiness.”
“I think it’s time that you leave, Jeremy. You are overstepping your role as my friend,” I respond as I make my way toward the front door and open it for him.
To my surprise, Tommy is standing on the other side of the door. How long has he been there? Jeremy stares at Tommy for what seems like forever, before making his way past him. My cheeks are flushed with anger and Tommy looks from Jeremy back to me. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Tommy asks.
“Oh nothing, just having a chit chat with someone that I thought was a friend,” I say as I glare at Jeremy. I suppose he got the hint because he hurries to exit the house.
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, Tommy, he didn’t hurt me. He just poked his nose where it didn’t belong.”
“Ok, well, if you need me to have a talk with him, let me know. I don’t want any man upsetting my angel.”
I blush and nod.
* * *
Tommy places his hand on the top of my thigh during our drive to the beach. I’m still a little upset with Jeremy, so I don’t say too much on the way there. Just being in Tommy’s presence makes my mood lighten. I love this man. “We’re here, baby.”
I look up and join reality. The ocean is so beautiful. The water looks like it melts right into the sky. There aren’t many people out today since it’s a bit cold. It feels as if we have the entire beach and ocean to ourselves. We make our way down to the beach where two people are waiting.
“Abigail, this is my friend, Lucas Jones and his fiancée, Jessica Greene.”
I reach out and shake both of their hands. Lucas is about the same age as Tommy. He is slightly shorter with a slim build. He has blonde hair, brown eyes and is clean shaven. He doesn’t have the same style as Tommy. He is wearing a button up shirt and a pair of khaki pants. Lucas isn’t drop dead gorgeous like my Tommy, but he’s a pretty good looking man. His girlfriend, on the other hand, is another story all together. Jessica is around the same age as Lucas and Tommy and she seems a little snobby. She is quite a bit shorter than me and is very overweight. Her hair is dark brown and curly, but not the pretty curly. Her hair looks knotted. Does she even own a hairbrush? I don’t think she has any idea how to care for it. She has deep brown eyes, which are full of judgment. “Hi, Lucas and Jessica,” I say as I take Tommy’s hand in mine.
“Hi, Abigail, it’s very nice to meet you,” Lucas says with a warm smile.
> “Yea, nice to meet you,” Jessica says, “Now, can we eat? I’m hungry and I’ve been waiting for thirty minutes.”
Oh, this girl is making me want to punch her in the face. She is so rude! I’ve never disliked someone upon first meeting them but this woman is really pissing me off. I sure hope we don’t stay here too long. I don’t want to make an ass out of myself when I go all schizophrenic-psycho on her. I knew I loved that Puddle of Mudd song, I just never realized that I would have met a person that would make me want to behave in that manner.
I decide that not conversing with anyone would be better for me, in the long run. Tommy and Lucas talk about plans for their week. Jessica eats her lunch and glares at me as if I’m going to snatch the sandwich out of her hand. She makes me feel like I’m not welcome there.
After an hour, Tommy and I say our farewells to Lucas and Jessica and make our way back to his car. He wraps his arm around me and I almost forget about the wretched woman that I had to play nice with.
“So, what did you think of my friends?” He asks as we are driving back to his place.
“Well, I like Lucas. He seems really nice, but Jessica is another story.”
“Oh, really? How so?” He looks amused
“Well, she just seemed rude and snobby. She acted as if her shit didn’t stink and I don’t like that.”
“Well, she’s part of the package with Lucas so we just have to tolerate her, okay?”
I shrug, “Okay, babe, anything for you.”
Once we arrive at his apartment, he grabs a couple of sodas from the fridge and we head to the living room. We get comfortable on the couch to watch a movie he rented. I rest my head on his chest as he puts his arm around me. I’m unsure of the title, but this movie is not interesting.
“You don’t like this movie, Abigail?”
“Not really. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, baby. I rented it because it’s a good make out movie.”
He shoots me his devilish grin and presses his lips to mine. Oh, this man is irresistible. He begins to kiss me more frantically while running his hands over my body. I’m still a bit sore from last night, but I don’t care. I am going to make love to my Tommy again.
* * *
Tommy drops me off a little earlier than my curfew so I can start a load of laundry. I arrive home with just enough time to throw in my laundry and finish my homework that’s due tomorrow.
Before I head to bed, I shoot Katherine a text message.
Hey, I know I haven’t talked to you today. I will explain everything during lunch break tomorrow.
I slip into a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt and crawl into bed. As I’m reaching for the bedside lamp, my phone alerts me that I have a text message. It’s probably Katherine.
Hey angel! I miss you already. Sleep well. I love you.
Oh my goodness, it’s Tommy. He’s beginning to spoil me with all his sweet words.
I miss you too. I love you, too. Goodnight and sweet dreams.
I snuggle under my covers and close my eyes. I think about all that has happened to me in the two days since I turned eighteen. Tommy has made a woman out of me and I can’t imagine my life without him in it. As I begin to drift to sleep, my last thought is of my Tommy.
* * *
I’ve never minded going to school, but I’m finding school to be challenging since meeting Tommy. I would much rather spend my day with him than in a classroom. I meet up with Katherine for lunch and she doesn’t seem very happy with me.
“What is wrong with you?” I ask.
“I think the better question is what is wrong with you, Abigail?” Katherine questions with a look of anger in her eyes.
Ok, what the hell did I miss? Katherine never acts like this. Flying off the handle is not her forte and I see why. She’s rather scary when she’s upset. However, I am queen bitch and she is merely a princess when it comes to attitude. I’ll show her how this is done. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you’ve been abandoning your friends for some guy you barely even know!”
“I am not abandoning anyone for anyone else.”
“I call bullshit, Abigail. Jeremy told me what you said to him yesterday and you haven’t even called me once since I saw you on your birthday. You are letting this guy pull you away from those that care about you.”
“No, I’m not. Are you that jealous of him? Are you that jealous of not being the only person in my life that I enjoy hanging out with?” How in the hell can she be that jealous? She changes men like she changes her panties and I never complain when she wants a day or two hanging out with her boy-toy of the week.
“You know what, Abigail, you are absolutely impossible!” She exclaims as she gets up and walks away.
I am left sitting by myself. I’m stupefied. What the hell did I do wrong? Am I really abandoning my friends for my Tommy? I’m impossible? What the hell is she because I know she is not the opposite of impossible? Regardless, I don’t like fighting with my best friend. She’s like the sister I never had, so I decide to rectify the situation. I grab my cell phone and shoot Katherine a message.
I’m sorry if you feel that I am abandoning you. Would you care to hang out today after school? I love you and I don’t want you mad at me.
I press send and grab my stuff and head to the library to study for the remainder of lunch. I’m narrowing the final few weeks of school and I need to make sure that I pass all of my finals so I can graduate with my class. Maybe Katherine was right. I’m so far behind on homework and that’s not normal for me. Maybe Tommy is taking up too much of my time. I’m going to need to talk to him about this. I love him, but I need to set some rules for seeing him. I can’t allow my grades to suffer and I, surely, can’t lose friends because of some guy, even if I love him.
After school, Katherine is waiting by my car. I am surprised that she’s there because she never responded to my text message from earlier. Either way, I’m happy to see her and I need some time with her.
“Hey, I thought you were never going to talk to me again,” I say.
“Naw, you know me better than that. You are my best friend and I wouldn’t know how to live without you in my life.”
“Good, because you’re my best friend too.”
I unlock the doors and she climbs in. She starts messing with the radio until she finds a song she knows and can sing, or screech, her little heart out to. Today’s rendition is “Right Now (Na Na Na)” by Akon. I glance over at her and laugh out loud. God, I love this girl! She is so carefree and fun to be around. I wish I had one ounce of her personality. She is the only girl I know that can make me smile just by being herself.
At home, we are sitting in my room listening to my iPod and trying to study. We have senioritis and it’s really starting to show through. Katherine stops what she’s doing and stares at me. Oh, God, here comes Katherine Collins version of twenty questions.
“So, what did Tommy have planned for your birthday?”
I knew it! You can’t be friends with someone for more than half your life and not know them inside and out. “Well, he cooked me a romantic dinner at his place.”
“At his place?”
“Yes, his place. He has a little two bedroom apartment. It’s not the greatest, but it’s his.”
“So, what did you guys do after dinner?”
I feel my face begin to flush. Should I tell her what Tommy and I did after dinner? I decide that I need to talk to someone about it.
“Well, he kissed me and told me that he was falling in love with me.”
Her eyes are a full size larger now.
“Then he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom where he made love to me.” Oh geez, now Katherine’s eyes are even wider and her bottom jaw just dropped open. I’m quite tempted to reach over and gently close her mouth so a fly doesn’t make its way in there and choke her. “Oh. My. God. Abigail! You lost your virginity to a guy you barely know on your second date?”
I begin to fill with anger. Is she judging me? Katherine Collins has no right to judge me. She has been with more guys than she has fingers and toes! “Don’t you dare start to judge me, Katherine! You know, as well as I do, that you have had more sexual partners than anyone cares to count!”
“Abigail, I’m not judging you. I’m just shocked that you did that. That is totally out of character for you! And, I’ll have you know, I haven’t been with that many sexual partners.”
I have to agree with her. That is out of character for me. I can see why she’s so shocked now.
“So, how was it? Your first time, that is.”
“Well, it was sweet. It sort of hurt a little, but he was really gentle with me and he took it slow that night.”
“That night? You mean you’ve done it again since then?”
I know my face has turned a crimson color. “Yes, we made love again last night. But he was a bit rougher then. It still felt good, but just different. Can we change the subject now, please?”
Katherine nods her head and we start talking about prom and our plans. Our conversation finally feels normal. We continue to talk and do homework until my mom announces that dinner will be ready soon. Katherine is invited to stay, but she declines the offer, so I take her home. This time, there is no music and Katherine isn’t screeching her head off. I guess she’s still in shock about my earlier revelation. It’s eerily quiet in the car. Hmm, maybe Katherine’s screeching isn’t as bad as I made it out to be. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Her screech-singing is miserable but I love it!
* * *
Dinner is on the table when I arrive home and my parents have just started to eat. I take my place beside my mom and begin to fill my plate.
“So, when are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend, Abby?” My dad asks in between bites of asparagus and mashed potatoes.
“I don’t know, dad. I haven’t thought about it.” I lie. My dad can be very judgmental because of his profession and I don’t want to place Tommy in the hot-seat.
On the Edge Page 3