On the Edge

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On the Edge Page 15

by Avance, V. E.


  My phone vibrates and Jason grabs it. “It’s a text from Mike,” he says,

  Where are you?

  “Can you text him back for me please. Just tell him I’m in the back and you’re with me.”

  Hey man, she’s in the back. I’m with her. We need to talk.

  “I’m going to step out to talk to your brother. You don’t need to go back to Tommy’s. I’m going to have him go get your stuff.”

  “Jason, please don’t tell him what happened. Please?” I’m begging.

  “Abigail, I won’t get into detail but I am going to have him get your stuff and you are going to go to the safety of your parents’ house where you will be safe and these babies can develop and have a chance at life. I also cannot lie to Mike about the abuse that has led up to this night. I have to tell Mike about him hitting you. Abigail, you know what he does to you isn’t right and those people that love you have a right to know.”

  He kisses my forehead and is out the door before I can say another word. I’m left in the room scared and alone. I place my hands on my belly and pray that my babies are safe and that Tommy didn’t hurt them in his sex crazed fit.

  Before I’m done saying my prayer the door to my room opens and I look up to see Mike and Jason both standing in front of me. “Abigail, what the fuck happened?” Mike is saying in a low, deep voice.

  Jason steps beside Mike, “Hey man, it’s not your sister’s fault. You’re deflecting your anger for Tommy on Abigail.”

  Mike calms down and steps toward me and kisses my forehead. “Please, Abigail, tell me what happened and don’t hold anything back. And just so you know, Jason did tell me about Tommy slapping you last week; which we will talk about at a later time.”

  “I got home and Tommy wasn’t there. I took a bath,” I debate telling Mike about the white powder I found in the bathroom, “and then I went to bed. Tommy came home around midnight and he was not himself. He wasn’t angry but he wasn’t happy either.”

  Mike nods his head. “What happened after he came home?”

  “Well, he, ummm……” I trail off. I can’t have this conversation with my brother. I’m embarrassed.

  “Yea, I know. Abigail, he raped you. I’m getting Dad and we are heading over to Tommy’s place and getting your shit. He needs to get his shit together. You have your own shit to worry about without him compounding the problems in your own life. This is bullshit the way he’s treating you.”

  I don’t think I’ve ever heard Mike curse this many times in one sitting in my entire life. I start to cry. I know that Mike is right and that I don’t need to be there anymore but I also know that Mike doesn’t keep secrets from my dad. Is he going to tell Dad about Tommy hitting me?

  “What about that hole in the wall in the kitchen?” Mike asks me. I begin to sob. Jason moves closer to me and starts to run his hand through my hair. “It’s ok, Abby. You need to tell Mike the truth. You are safe now and no one is blaming you for anything.”

  “Tommy put his fist through the wall last week,” I say before I start sobbing. I hate telling Jason and Mike about what Tommy did to me. Mike has the look of murder on his face while Jason a look of sorrow and sympathy. It breaks my heart seeing their faces as I tell them what happened behind the walls of Tommy’s apartment.

  Mike nods his head to confirm that he heard me. “Well, I just called Dad and I’m picking him up in your car and we’re going over there. Do you have a key to his house?”

  I show him which key is to his house and he takes them from my hand. “Jason’s going to stay with you,” he says and he turns and exits the room.

  Jason pulls the chair up next to my head. He’s holding my right hand in his and smoothing my hair back with his left. “If you want me to exit during the exam, I will, but I’m staying here with you before and after.”

  The doctor comes in a few minutes later. It just happens that Dr. Hubert was on call tonight. I feel a little more comfortable knowing that my doctor is here to do the exam. Jason stands to exit the room but I grab his hand tighter. “Please stay with me. I don’t want to be alone,” I plead with him.

  He sits back down and continues to smooth my hair. “Of course, sweetheart. I would never leave you if you need me. I’ll stay right here,” he says as he kisses my forehead.

  “Well, I heard that we had a little mishap tonight with these two little babies. Why don’t we check you out and then take a peek at the babies to make sure they’re ok too, shall we?”

  The doctor does a vaginal exam. It’s uncomfortable and I’m a bit sore. A tear slides from my eye and Jason is quick to wipe it away. He has such compassion and love on his face. If I didn’t know better, I would believe that a little part of me loves Jason too.

  “Well, Miss. Wilkinson, you have some trauma to your cervix. Were you having sexual intercourse prior to the bleeding?”

  “Yes,” I respond, sheepishly. Jason doesn’t say a word but I can hear what he is thinking based on his body language. He’s thinking that he would not have used the word ‘sex’ but that rape was the word he would have used to describe what Tommy did to me.

  “Well, your cervix is bruised. Let’s check on these babies and see how they’re doing. I’m confident that they are alright, but we will do an ultrasound to put your mind at ease. Since you have cervical trauma, I will perform an ultrasound over your belly.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief. I really don’t think I could handle a transvaginal ultrasound tonight. He puts the gel over my belly, “It shouldn’t be cold. I had it in the warmer.” He wasn’t lying. The gel is very warm. He put the wand over my belly and we see two little babies. They are only slightly bigger than they were last week.

  “Hmm,” Dr. Hubert mumbles.

  “What’s wrong, doctor?”

  “Well, the babies are fine. They are growing well, but we will have to keep a very close eye on you throughout the pregnancy.”

  I look at Jason and see complete concern on his face as he is staring at the image on the ultrasound machine and then looking between me and the doctor.

  “Why?” Jason finally asks. It seems that I have lost my voice and couldn’t form the word needed to get some answers from the doctor.

  “Well, it seems that Miss. Wilkinson is carrying identical twins. The way I know this is because the babies have their own outer membrane, this is the sac around the baby, but they seem to be sharing a placenta. About two thirds of identical twins share a placenta; however, this can be dangerous because their cords can become entangled and prevent flow of blood and nutrients to one or both babies. Right now, I’m not concerned but I would like to put her on bed rest for the next four weeks. Also, I will be performing ultrasounds with every visit to monitor their growth. It’s ideal to keep babies in-utero for thirty-seven weeks, but most times, monochorionic diamniotic twins, which are the twins you’re carrying, are usually delivered earlier than that,” Dr. Hubert explains.

  “Are they going to be alright, doctor? I’m quite attached to these buggers,” I ask looking at the image of my little ones on the monitor.

  “I’ll monitor you very closely and we will do everything we can to keep them thriving in the womb for as long as we can. So long as you rest the next four weeks and eat properly and take your prenatal vitamins, I don’t foresee any issues with the pregnancy. Now, I’m going to work on your discharge papers. Feel free to go ahead and redress yourself.”

  He removes his gloves and washes his hands before reminding me to keep to bed rest for the next four weeks and to schedule a follow-up with him then. Jason helps me off the exam table and reaches for my clothes and places them on the table that I just occupied. Jason kisses my cheek as he pulls the privacy curtain closed to allow me to dress.

  The doctor was very reassuring but I am still concerned for my baby beans that are growing within me. Why do they have to be sharing a placenta? As I finish getting dressed, I open the privacy curtain and I see a single tear fall from Jason’s eye. Oh my God, what did I say to make
him cry? “Jason, what’s wrong?” I say as I go to stand next to him.

  He stands to allow me to sit, “Nothing. I’m just glad you’re alright. Seeing your babies on the monitor made all this real. Abigail, there is more to you than just the woman standing in front of me. There are two more little beings that are half of you. I know you don’t love me like I love you but you have to understand that the love I have for you, and now those babies growing within you, is real and no matter the circumstances, I have a strong desire to keep all three of you safe and protected.”

  “Jason, I never said I didn’t love you and that your feelings weren’t reciprocated. It’s just that I’m in a love triangle of sorts. Tommy will always be a part of my life since we created these two lives together and I have to give him the opportunity to adjust and change into what the babies and I need. I can’t just walk out on him.”

  Jason looks up at me. “Abigail, are you saying that you feel the same toward me as I feel toward you?”

  I nod my head, “Yes, I am Jason. I love that you are sweet and caring and that you love my babies. However, I think you failed to hear that I also love Tommy and these babies are his and I need to give him a chance to change into what we need.”

  Jason gives me a hug and whispers, “But I’m already what you and those babies need. I’ve accepted these babies that aren’t biologically mine more so than their father has.”

  Our conversation ends when the nurse comes in with my discharge papers and a wheel chair. I sign and climb in as she pushes me to the front entrance. Jason left as soon as the nurse came in to get Mike’s car.

  We ride home in silence. The only sound is from the radio. ‘Catch My Breath’ by Kelly Clarkson is playing through the speakers and I can’t help but start to sing the lyrics. Jason glances at me and I catch a glimpse of a smile form on his face. I ignore the embarrassment building inside me and continue to sing until we pull in the driveway. Mike and dad pull in behind us in my car. “Abigail, baby are you alright?” I hear my dad call.

  “Yes Daddy, I’m fine. I just need to be on bed rest for a month and the babies need to be monitored closely until I deliver.”

  “Mike and I got your stuff. Tommy wasn’t home when we got there but he arrived as we were leaving.”

  “Did you say anything to him?” I ask out of curiosity. I know how pissed my brother was when he left and if he told Dad all the things that happened between Tommy and I, I’m sure the confrontation would not have been a nice one.

  “No, we just kept going. I’ll deal with him later. I don’t want you going back to him, not anytime soon at least. I want you to recover here and take things slow with him. You barely know him and I think it’s too soon to move in together.”

  Dad gives me a kiss and heads to the front door carrying my bag. Jason is standing next to me with his hand out offering me help, which I take. I look over at Mike and he’s angry. “Mike, did you tell Dad that Tommy slapped me?”

  “I should have, Abigail. I really should have, but no, I didn’t tell Dad. I’m telling you, if he lays a hand on you again, it will be the last time because I’ll kill him myself!”

  “Hey, your sister just had a scare. Let’s give her a day or two to rest before we rush off and start killing people, man. Do you want to carry her in or should I?”

  “Hey, I can walk ya know?!”

  “Shush, you heard the doctor, bed rest for you and those babies,” Jason reminds me.

  “I’ll carry her in, Jason. She’s my sister and I should be the one to make sure she gets to bed in one piece.”

  I love these two men. No matter how stupid I am or what I’ve been through, they can always put a smile on my face and make the bad seem not so bad after all.

  I’m lying in bed with all my loved ones around me. I’m so sleepy that my eyelids begin to droop down on their own. I’m able to mutter, “The babies are identical twins,” before the sandman takes me and I’m asleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The sunlight feels warm against my face as I wake late the next morning. It feels wonderful to wake in my childhood room. The past week has been hell with Tommy and I finally feel a sense of safety and normalcy. I stretch my hands above my head and realize that I desperately need to use the restroom. I get up as my mother is walking in. “Darling you have to stay on bed rest.”

  “Does that mean I have to wet the bed?” I ask as I chuckle.

  “Oh, yea, you can use the restroom. Jason is making you some breakfast. Would you like to eat it in your room or on the couch?”

  “I would like to eat in the living room, please. I don’t want to stay in my room all day.”

  “Ok darling, when you’re done using the bathroom meet me in the living room and I’ll get you all settled.”

  After using the restroom I make my way to the living room. My mom has taken my pillows and placed them on the couch along with a throw blanket. My mom is far too good to me. I hope that I’m as good of a mother to my babies as mine is to me.

  I’m just getting comfortable when Jason comes in with a breakfast tray. He places the tray over my legs and shoots me a smile before sitting at the end of the couch and putting my feet in his lap.

  “I tried to make sure you had everything from the food pyramid. You have 12-grain toast with some peanut butter and honey, a bowl of fresh fruit, and a glass of whole milk. I also got your vitamin for you and your nausea pill. Is there anything I’m forgetting?” He asks.

  “No, Jason. This is wonderful. Thank you so much. I usually make breakfast so not having to do that feels great.”

  “Well, you won’t be cooking for at least four weeks, so I hope you enjoy being waited on hand and foot.”

  “I could get used to this for sure,” I smile at him. “Where’s Mike at?”

  “Your brother is visiting with Katherine. We’re moving into a three bedroom house a few blocks over today so he’s visiting with her before we head back to Bayford to load up the rental truck.”

  “Oh, do you guys need any help?” I ask before I realize that I am no help to anyone right now.

  He arches his eyebrow, “And what do you think you could do besides lay on our couch and supervise?” he questions with a smile on his face.

  “Never mind, I forgot that I’m worthless to everyone right now. I’m just a blob that has to be waited on,” I say as I pout. I really do feel awful and worthless. I hate being a burden to people and that’s exactly what I am right now.

  “Abigail knock that shit off, right now!” Jason orders. “You are not worthless. You are growing two babies and they need you to stay off your feet and take it easy so they have a chance at life. That’s not worthless. That’s the most amazing thing anyone can do. Now eat your breakfast while enjoying a foot massage.”

  Oh, I could totally get used to this. I eat and watch television as Jason massages my feet. Will my toes turn into sausages by the end of this pregnancy? I’ve heard women complain of that. Boy, I hope that doesn’t happen to me.

  Dad walks in as Jason is taking my empty tray back to the kitchen. He was supposed to return back to work today. What the heck is he doing home? “Hey baby, how are you feeling?”

  “I’m doing good, dad. Why aren’t you at work?”

  “Well, I decided to take another week off to take care of you. Your mom needs to be with Mike and Jason to make sure they pack stuff right. She will also be helping them clean the apartment so they get their deposit back. We don’t want you being left alone.”

  “Well, I could have called Katherine to sit with me. I hate that you have to take time off of work for me.”

  “Abigail, you’re not the problem. Someone needs to be here in case Tommy comes by or calls. I know Katherine loves you but that girl couldn’t fight her way out of a wet paper bag and we need to keep you and those babies safe. Jason told us about your pregnancy being high risk since my grandkids decided to start sharing in the womb. It’s still my job to keep you and those babies safe.”

  Tears be
gin to fall as I listen to my father. He loves me and my babies. My dad is determined to help this pregnancy make it to term. Why is it that the father of these little beings wanted me to murder them but my father is determined to see them make their entry into this world as safely as possible? I will never understand it. “Why are you crying?” Dad asks.

  “I’m just so blessed to have such a great family. Everyone has been so accepting and loving. Tommy wanted me to have an abortion when he heard about the babies and you never even suggested it. I just don’t understand how the father of these precious babies could want to end their lives before they had a chance to live.”

  “Honey, Tommy bringing that up wasn’t right but I’ll be honest with you. When you told me you were pregnant, abortion crossed my mind too. I know what it’s like to raise children and, if you’re not ready for parenthood, I’ve seen what happens to unwanted children after birth. That’s far more gruesome. See, the difference between me and Tommy is simple. I am established and knowledgeable. I know that you need support now and not someone ordering you around. So, after a few days, I was able to calm down and be what you needed.”

  Dad comes over and kneels down and places a kiss on my forehead. I’m trying not to get worked up but it’s hard with all these hormones. “Don’t cry princess. No reason to cry. Look at all the love you have right here,” he says as he bends next to my ear. “And, if you ask me, you have a fantastic young man in the other room that loves you. Everyone can see it. You are loved more than you think you are.”

  With that, he gives me one more kiss and walks back to his room. Dad loves to be in control of the television so he’ll probably spend most of his time watching the boob tube in his room while I control the one in the living room.

  * * *

  A couple of hours have passed before my mom and Jason come back in the living room. Mom has her purse and Jason is carrying some water. “Honey, we’re heading out now. Mike and Katherine have already headed to Bayford.”

 

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