The wounded look in her eyes stole his breath, and he didn’t know what to think or feel, but he had a sneaking suspicion that he was in big trouble. He hated the agony etched on her face and that they may have caused it. An answering ache spiralled in his gut, and he felt alien in his own body. Sharply, he yanked away from Chris, and zipped up his pants. In a hushed whisper, he commanded, “Zip up your pants. Now!”
Chris’s gaze wrestled away from his to Jordin’s and back. “What’s going on? Anything I should know about?”
Before Evan could fashion a reply, Chris’s nostrils flared and he stomped away, knocking over several boxes with a clatter.
The deer in the headlight look finally vanished from Jordin’s eyes and she seemed to regain her senses. Then she pivoted on her heel and rushed away. Only the sound of her gym shoes sucking at the floor attested that she was still in the room.
As the sound grew softer, Evan snapped out of his delirium and followed. Until this very moment, he’d figured she knew he was gay, that he and Chris were an item, that she’d never look at him as if he’d just ripped out her heart. He didn’t know what to think or feel or do. For once, he wished he was someone else, somewhere else. Suddenly, the clarity of his life had turned into a sloppy, muddy mess.
Chapter Three
Jordin was surprised at her reaction to finding Evan and Chris in a lovers’ clinch. Rochelle had warned her. She’d known Evan wasn’t a free man. It wasn’t like she was in love with him. So why had she reacted like a spurned lover? Like a cheated upon wife?
Her blood pumped so furiously it was a crushing rush in her ears. Her thoughts collided and scripture and verse and her father’s teachings were a deafening buzz in her head. Was she being punished for her sins? For running away from the truth?
Whose truth, she wondered? She had no clue what or whom to believe. She didn’t know what in the world she trusted in anymore.
Breathless, panting, tears streaming from her eyes, she was intent on packing her bags and getting the hell out of this place before her heart could be completely crushed. She could barely see in front of her and was stunned when she barrelled into a large, masculine body.
At first, she violently recoiled, thinking Evan had chased after her. But when she stepped back and her gaze focused on the man righting her, she gulped. “Daddy! What are you doing here?” she asked with both her voice and her hands.
Although her father read sign language and could sign better than her, he answered in a voice only slightly lacking in intonation. “I’m here to take you home. It looks like I’m a little late.”
Surprising herself, startling the hotel’s yellow tabby cat that darted away with a screech, she yelped and signed with huge flourishes of her hands, “No! I’m not going back to Alaska.”
“Then go back to Utah. This heathen country is nowhere for you to be by yourself.” His gaze, judgmental and intimidating raked over her. He frowned when his gaze moved to her bare arms and short skirt. “This is no place for a lone woman to be. It’s not for you.”
As much as she loved him, she still hated to feel browbeaten so she dug in and took a stand. With sharp, punctuated shakes of her head, she succinctly said so he could read her lips, “No, Daddy. I hate Alaska. I hate Utah. I like it here and I’m staying.”
Her father lowered his voice to his commandeering, bossy tone that she so hated, the one that used to make her wince when she was a child. “I can see how much you love it here. So much your eyes are red and puffy and your face is all wet and mottled.”
Not loving the description of herself, she sniffed back more tears and dabbed at her nose with her fingers, looking around for a tissue or napkin that was AWOL. “I appreciate your concern. I really do, but I have to be allowed to stand on my own feet, even when things aren’t going perfect. You can’t coddle and protect me all the time.”
“It’s my job until I see you safely married to a good man. I’m your father.”
Another hotel guest sauntered by and, when she looked at Jordin’s face, gave them a wide berth. She slanted odd looks at them, and Jordin didn’t appreciate being on display. Hadn’t she learned a lesson from Evan? More than one? “Let’s talk inside. In private.”
Her dad nodded and followed. He dogged her steps as if he was afraid she’d ditch him. When they reached the inside of her room, she offered him water or juice and quelled the desire to hide the coffee pot and caffeinated sodas sitting by her fridge in the mini kitchen. She didn’t miss her father’s narrowed gaze at them and could read his mind. Staunch in his religion, a devotee to the Word of Wisdom, he didn’t deviate for even a cola and expected her to toe the line like he did.
Feeling rebellious, she brewed a pot of coffee and poured a steaming cup full before she rejoined him at the corner table. She refused to back down and wished she had a cigarette to smoke as well. Then she felt like a spoiled brat, and silently recanted. She loved her father with all her heart, but she wasn’t his clone and couldn’t live her life by his rules. If he loved her, he’d have to accept her as she was. Sometimes she feared he wouldn’t and sometimes in her youth, she’d been defiant just to make him prove he loved her without reservation.
She counted the seconds, wondering how long it would take him to launch into a lecture on the evils of coffee. Then she remembered how she’d been flirting with a gay man, and laughed out loud. Coffee was a baby sin compared to the second.
“Your mother’s very worried. She sent me to bring you home.” He crossed his legs and she could see her fuzzy image in the glossy polish of his loafers, and she felt about as blurry. One thing she wasn’t hazy about and that was her mother. Her mom had always been more tolerant, and although she loved Jordin as dearly, she was willing to let Jordin follow her own dreams and her own path, so she didn’t believe the statement.
“I’ll call her and tell her I’m fine.” In fact, she’d been keeping in touch with Sadie, her mom, who was cool with her being in Florida and even working for the summer as a waitress at a beach resort. She understood, or at least commiserated, with Jordin’s need to escape her father’s narrow-mindedness and live a continent away. After all, her mother had defied her own very Catholic family to marry someone outside of her faith, so they were simpatico.
Her dad launched into sign language, a sure sign he was agitated. “Why won’t you come back? Surely you’re not happy working as a waitress, living in this dump. What about your dream to work with deaf children?”
She let her gaze roam the clean and tidy room. It wasn’t the Ritz and didn’t have gilded mirrors or golden bathtubs, but it was cute and functional. What could she expect for free? It wasn’t like she was planning to shack up here forever. “I’m taking a working vacation in the fun and the sun before I commit to anything. I have some heavy thinking to do and frankly, I couldn’t do it with you in my head twenty-four-seven.”
Dean leaned closer. His eyes were narrowed to mere slits now. “What do you mean ‘me in your head’?”
She swallowed her sigh and wondered if it was worth wasting more breath as he never seemed to listen or, at least, value her point of view. “We’ve been over this until I’m hoarse.” Riled, her pulse about to break free of her wrists, she jumped up and paced.
Dean invaded her thoughts. “Turn around so I can see what you’re saying. Unless, of course, you don’t want me to.”
A scream of frustration gurgled in her throat. Why couldn’t she have a nice, normal conversation with him? Why did he always have to make everything so complicated? Why did he have to shoot her blood pressure into outer space?
After she calmed herself as much as she could, she turned around and retraced her steps to the table. “I just want to live my own life. I want to love on my own terms. I don’t want your church to dictate my every move. Is that too much to ask?”
“So you don’t want to go to the Celestial Kingdom? You want to live in sin and be damned?”
Ugh!
Her blood simmered, and she let loose t
he scream and pantomimed pulling out her hair. “Why do you assume all the time that I’ll be damned? That I’m living in sin?”
“Are you going to church?”
She hated his tactic of answering a question with a question and, bristling, faced off against him. “No. I told you I’m not convinced your church is the true church. It’s not my church. Maybe I attend Mom’s church.” Catholics weren’t pagans even if her dad and the people in his ward thought so.
“So you’re not reading your scriptures, either? I imagine you’re not keeping the Sabbath holy. And you’re drinking coffee. What other heinous sins are you committing?” Even though he said it with his hands, his movements were so exaggerated and powerful, there was no doubt he was ranting and raving.
At this point, she was ready to list all seven deadly sins and make up a few bonus ones just to shock him into giving up and going home, except she wasn’t out to give him heart failure. But one thought blazed in her mind so she blurted it out. “I’m in love with two men, and we’re all in love with each other.”
When her dad’s jaw dropped, she was tempted to feel sorry for him, but the thought died a quick death when his eyes bulged and the cords in his throat popped out.
“You’re what?” he bellowed, rattling her bones with his sonic boom.
“I’m part of a ménage, and we’re very happy. We’re all devoted to each other.”
Dean snarled and lightning flashed in his dark eyes. “I take it you don’t mean platonic.”
“No. I don’t.” She jutted up her chin and dared him to speak his mind. At least, she wouldn’t be lying for long, not if Evan and Chris let her join them for even one night. She so longed to know Evan’s kiss, to be held in his arms and to be cradled against his heart, she’d be willing to share him versus having no part. And even if it was just for one bittersweet night, she’d have the precious memories. Whether her dad would believe her or not, a lot of the kids at his church weren’t as sweet and innocent as they pretended. Did he really turn a blind eye when so many young couples rushed into marriage and had eight-month babies? Of course, he would say the people weren’t perfect but the church was. And she would gag because she was so sick of hearing the excuse. It seemed he’d forgive everybody else except her. Maybe because she wasn’t a hypocrite, she mused. Maybe it was because she refused to pretend to follow the rules and flaunted them in his face.
Since he’d married a woman not of his conviction, she had to wonder why he couldn’t accept that she hadn’t turned out to be exactly like him. He had to have known Jordin might be like her mother, that at best he had a fifty percent chance Jordin would turn out like him. Of course, she suspected he was bitter that her mother had never seen the light and converted. Jordin also suspected that he blamed her mother that he’d never be made bishop since only men with upright, temple marriages were awarded that exulted position.
The more Jordin thought about it, the more she wanted to hurl. She didn’t think a loving God would be so prejudiced.
“I can’t believe you’d stray so far from the straight and narrow path after the way we brought you up. I’d like to meet these young men of yours.”
She gulped hard. “You mean now?”
“Why not now?” He levelled a steady, challenging gaze on her.
Fear assaulted her anew. Neither man had shown any romantic or sexual interest in her. It was all one-sided. She had no idea if they were strictly gay or if either were bi. Even if they also liked women, even if they weren’t totally monogamous, there was no guarantee she was their type.
Unfortunately, she’d gone too far to admit to fabricating all this now. She had to bluff her way through. Evan was such a sweetie she bet he’d help her. He’d understand that she had to prove herself to her father since he had the same kind of relationship with his mother. He and Jordin were kindred souls.
She tried to mask her expression as she wondered how she’d convey her need to Evan before her dad confronted them. Would Chris play along? He was a lot sterner than the sweet Evan. He reminded her of her dad in a lot of ways, strict and by the book.
Trembling attacked her, and she stuck her hands deep in her skirt pockets and dug her nails into her palms. The punishment helped settle her nerves, at least a little, so she could get a grip, feeble as it was.
She couldn’t give him an honest answer why not now, and she felt herself sinking deeper into the quicksand of her lies. She cursed herself and did the only thing she could think of. “Excuse me. I have to use the restroom.”
Chapter Four
Even though she knew her dad was deaf, she lowered her voice inside the bathroom. She felt weird talking to Evan, the man of her fantasies, from inside the same room as the commode. But it was the only choice as her father would read her lips otherwise.
“You want us to do what? With you?” Shock wobbled in Evan’s voice which had climbed an octave higher than normal.
As calmly and rationally as she could, she repeated herself softly but evenly. “I told my father that you and Chris are my lovers…that we’re all in love with each other. I need for you to confirm and play along. I know it sounds crazy, but it would be a big favour that I’ll repay double. Triple!”
“And tell me again why you did this?”
She could hear the disbelief and shock in her boss’s voice, and she wondered if she had finally been driven over sanity’s edge. If she’d not dived over yet, she knew she was teetering on the brink. Unfortunately, her sire had this unholy effect on her, pushing her into doing just the opposite of what he wanted her to. Maybe she was an evil spawn. Maybe she would burn in hell.
“Why?” Maniacal laughter burst from her lips and she felt drunk. “I can’t take his overbearing ways any more. I can’t return to Alaska. I’ll shrivel up there. I need space and sunlight and warmth, all things I love here in Florida.” Like you, she added, silently hoping against hope he’d reciprocate her feelings.
“Let me discuss this with Chris, and I’ll call you back.”
Panic made her heart flutter, and she sank onto the toilet lid and rested her heavy head on her hands. “Would it help if I made my case to him? I know I’m asking a lot, but I’m desperate.”
“I’ll give him the phone, and you can speak to him now,” Evan said.
She nodded her head as if he could see her. “Okay.”
She prayed Chris would agree.
* * * *
Chris gagged on his tea and spluttered it across his computer monitor, his papers and the desk. His heart broke in two as he gazed at Evan’s reflection on the screen. He couldn’t bring himself to turn and look at his lying, cheating partner in the flesh. First fried, fatty onion rings and now this. “She wants what?
Evan mowed his spiked hair with his shaking hand, making a mess of the styling job. Robotically, without a trace of emotion, he repeated. “She wants us to pretend to be her lovers to her father.”
“Why? Are you two an item? Have you been cheating on me with her? Is there something I should know?”
Evan gaped then his mouth worked wordlessly. He paled under his tan. “No. I swear. You’re my guy.”
“Then why in hell is she asking? It’s not something a stranger would request.”
Evan glanced at the reflection, scowled then tried to restore order to his hair. “She’s not exactly a stranger…”
Chris hated games and messes. As he cleaned the soda from the computer, he rolled his eyes. “Okay. So it’s not something normal for an employee to ask.” He wondered if this could be construed as reverse sexual harassment. He wasn’t sure how to interpret this.
Evan thrust the phone at him. “Here. You talk to her and let her explain.”
Chris hesitated, thinking about this without making a move to accept the phone. “I hate to lie. It always bites you in the ass eventually.”
“We wouldn’t have to lie, not if the three of us…” Evan’s voice trailed off, and he splayed wide his hands.
Chris jumped up, knocking hi
s chair over. “Damn! I knew it!”
“You know nothing. But didn’t we say, more than once, that a threesome would be sexy? That we want to keep our love life spicy and alive? How often do you think a chance like this will fall in our lap? She is really hot.”
“Bad pun.” Chris remembered but he still had reservations. “Sounds like we’re setting ourselves up for a beating from her father.” Or worse. He could handle himself in a fair fight, but not if the guy pulled a gun. Did he want to fight a war that wasn’t his? If he loved fighting, he’d take up tae kwon do. There was a dojo just a mile down the road.
Evan wiggled the phone under his nose. “She’s waiting. I’m okay with it if you are. Talk to her.”
Chris swallowed a sigh and reluctantly took the instrument. He put his hand over the receiver and mumbled. “Is she even into BDSM? She seems too innocent.” He bet she was too naïve to even have sex with one bi guy much less two at once, much less get off on pain, torture, and bondage. Plain vanilla sex bored him. He might as well give himself a hand job.
‘”I don’t know. Ask. I know she wants to shock her father.”
Chris had to laugh. “That would do it.”
He uncovered the phone and put it to his ear. “Why don’t you explain this to me starting with ‘why’.”
He listened to the sweet, sexy voice and envisioned her gorgeous eyes, big tits and tight ass. He imagined indoctrinating her into the world of BDSM, of having two submissives at his mercy, of having his choice of fucking Evan’s hot ass or her juicy pussy. As long as Evan didn’t have solo sex with her, why not? If she satisfied the two burning questions in his mind. “Has Ev told you I’m a Dom, and he’s my sex slave? That we’d tie you to the bed, hang you from the ceiling and fuck you raw?”
Night of the Senses Page 17