Only Rose, Lola and Great Auntie May knew that Mirabel’s relationship with JJ was probably over. ‘But surely one little letter would not end a relationship,’ Lola had argued. ‘I was often horrible to Bill and he still loved me.’
He left you in the end though, Mirabel thought, but said instead, ‘You didn’t see the spiteful words I wrote.’
She dared not tell Father that JJ would never marry her.
The pretence tortured her. Sometimes, when she was talking with Mama, she even fooled herself into believing that it was true, that she and JJ would be together forever.
Mama looked after Bao Bao while Mirabel worked at the market. Father hardly spoke to her, and when he did, it was only about work or household duties. Never once had he held his grandson, or even said his name. And whenever he was in the same room as Bao Bao, he pretended the baby did not exist.
Mirabel had to keep reminding herself that others were suffering too. She watched people cope with hardship and loss every day. Now that the war was over, many soldiers had returned physically and mentally scarred. The government called it battle fatigue, but it was more than just being tired of fighting.
Harry still suffered horrific nightmares but he and Margo had rekindled some of the love they had lost. Then there were those who had been held in prisoner-of-war camps. They were like the walking dead: thin, emaciated, barely alive. There were the devastating pictures from Germany of millions of Jews killed in concentration camps, and news of the atrocities inflicted by the Japanese in China. In Nanking, hundreds of thousands of people had been raped and slaughtered. And there had been a disastrous drought in China – in one year a million people had died of starvation.
How did the survivors keep their faith in life, in God? Mirabel often asked herself.
By comparison, she wasn’t that badly off. If nothing else, she had her baby. And she had the beautiful memory of JJ and the precious moments they had shared.
As the weeks passed, Mama seemed to be coping less and less. Mirabel would come home and often find Mei Lin looking after Bao Bao while Mama was upstairs in her room. Perhaps it was Lola running around with the policeman, or Jimmy making trouble at school, or the strain of looking after a baby who was growing so fast.
She wrote often to Eva – kind, wise Eva – to get through the weeks and months. Almost on a daily basis Father pestered Mirabel about JJ. Where was he? What were his plans? When should he begin making the arrangements for him to come to Melbourne? Mirabel didn’t know how long she could keep up the charade.
Then, one Saturday morning, a knock at the front door changed her life forever.
Mirabel was alone in the house except for Mama, who had been in her bedroom since after breakfast. Mirabel was in the good room, designing a new dress for herself while Bao Bao lay on a rug. She had been drawing a lot lately. She had forgotten how much she had needed it. The simple act of swirling a paintbrush in water gave her so much joy.
When she heard the knock, Mirabel wondered who would come calling unannounced. Perhaps it was Rose. Dear Rose, who was so heavily involved with her law studies and university life that Mirabel hardly saw her any more. They seemed to be treading separate paths. Mirabel envied Rose’s unfettered life, her ability to dream into the future and the new friends she was making. Since leaving the mapping office, Mirabel no longer saw Jock or Murray, and the market where she worked with Father was no place to meet people her age.
She laid down her brush and peeped through a gap in the curtain. She only caught a glimpse of a sleeve, but in that brief second she knew the feel, the smell, the weight of the material.
It belonged to a Chinese army uniform.
‘JJ?’ she whispered, a thrill pulsing in her veins.
Mirabel ran into the hallway. Before opening the door, she brushed back her hair, her heart racing. Then she put her hand on the knob and turned it.
Standing there was Frank Shen. Mirabel tried not to show her disappointment.
‘Hello, Mirabel,’ he said, a big smile on his face.
‘Oh … Frank … hello.’ Composing herself, she asked, ‘When did you get back?’
‘The other day.’ Frank made to come inside but Mirabel stood firm. She couldn’t let him see Bao Bao.
‘I came to …’ Frank’s voice trailed off when Bao Bao began crying. He looked over Mirabel’s shoulder into the house. ‘Is that a baby I hear?’
‘I … well … yes, I’m looking after my cousin’s baby,’ she said, blushing.
‘Have Harry and Margo had a baby?’
‘No … it’s, um … another cousin … one from China, in fact.’
Now that she had explained to Frank who Bao Bao was, she stepped aside and invited him in. It would have seemed strange if she didn’t.
As soon as he saw Bao Bao sitting on the floor, playing with his blocks, Frank knelt down. ‘Hi there, little man.’ He patted the baby’s head. ‘What a handsome fellow you are.’ He grinned, then looked at Mirabel. ‘You know, he’s the spitting image of his father, don’t you think?’
Mirabel stared at Frank, speechless.
‘It’s all right. I know whose he is.’ Frank laughed.
Mirabel sank into the armchair, her stomach twisting.
‘Before I left Shanghai, JJ asked me to give you this.’
The sound of his name brought a wave of emotion. Mirabel leaned forward eagerly. ‘You’ve seen him?! When? Where?’ She couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
Frank reached into his satchel and pulled out a small silk box and a letter. ‘I saw him just the other day, in fact.’
‘The other day?’ Mirabel stared at the box and the letter in his hand, then looked up at Frank. It was all happening too fast.
Trembling, she opened the box. Nestled inside was a gold ring with a bird and leaf pattern etched across its surface. She lifted it out and placed it on her finger.
‘He said that if it doesn’t fit, you can have it resized,’ Frank said cheerily. ‘I was with him when he bought it on Nanking Road.’
Mirabel could not speak. Myriad thoughts and images rushed through her mind as she wept silently.
Frank put his hand on her shoulder. ‘He wanted to contact you sooner. He left the army a few months ago and was in Shanghai but had to go back to his village to be with his mother. His father died suddenly … a heart attack, I think.’
Mirabel looked up, wiping her eyes. ‘Oh no, poor JJ.’
Frank grunted. ‘Even though it’s quite dangerous in the countryside right now, he had to get back there.’
‘But I thought the war was over.’ Mirabel stared into Frank’s face, alarmed.
‘The war with Japan is over. But the civil war between the Kuomintang government forces and the Communist-led armies is still going on. They only stopped fighting each other so they could form a united front against the Japs. Because JJ fought with the Kuomintang, I fear the Communists are after him. But don’t worry. He knows how to keep out of harm’s way. That was all part of his training … to infiltrate enemy lines.’
Frank was speaking too fast. Communists … fighting … enemy … a flurry of words.
Frank seemed to sense Mirabel’s fear. ‘Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. He said that as soon as he sorts things out at home he’ll come back to Melbourne.’
How easy it all sounded now, Mirabel thought. And here, on her finger, was proof– JJ loved her. She had to tell him how much she loved him back.
‘Frank, when are you returning to China? Perhaps you could take a letter for me?’
‘I won’t be leaving for a while,’ Frank replied.
‘But I must write to JJ. How can I get in touch with him?’
‘That’s hard …’ Frank thought for a moment. ‘The only thing I have is an old address for his brother, Jin Yu.’ He took a small book from his breast pocket and copied down the address in Chinese characters.
Mirabel glanced at it. ‘But why aren’t you going back?’
‘The Communist problem is g
etting worse. Nobody knows what will happen.’
‘But what about Shanghai? Is it safe? I thought …’
Frank waved his hand. ‘Oh, Shanghai is fine. Perfectly safe. It would be impossible for the Communists to capture such a large and important city. Really, Mirabel, JJ will be okay. The president, Chiang Kai-shek, has the support of America. The Kuomintang can’t lose.’ Frank smiled reassuringly. He looked at his watch. ‘I’d better be going.’
‘But I haven’t even offered you tea! How rude of me.’ Mirabel stood up.
‘No, it’s all right. I’m meeting Dora for lunch. She’ll be mad if I’m late.’
Mirabel picked up Bao Bao and walked Frank to the door. He touched Bao Bao under the chin. ‘Bye, little guy.’ Then he turned to Mirabel. ‘You take care of yourself, you hear?’
‘I will. Thank you for everything.’
‘Don’t mention, it.’ Frank walked through the gate, whistling.
Mirabel returned to the good room, laid Bao Bao on the floor, and with trembling hands opened JJ’s letter. It was carefully written in neat characters.
My darling,
Once again I must ask you to forgive me for not writing sooner. I received both your letters and I’m sorry that I caused you so much hurt and confusion by not getting back to you, but it has been extremely difficult here.
I know you didn’t mean the words you wrote. I understand how you must have felt not hearing anything from me. And then to discover that you were pregnant. How much you must have suffered all alone. I wish I could have been there with you.
If you are reading this, then you will have received my ring and know I am yours.
How proud I am to have a son. I have left the army and am heading home to the village. My father died suddenly so my mother needs me.
Please, please, be patient for just a while longer.
I promise we will be together soon.
JJ
Mirabel lay on the floor beside Bao Bao, her whole body singing with happiness. Holding her left hand in the air, she watched as the light glinted off the gold ring. The relief she felt was like a downpour of spring rain. We will be together soon, she repeated, and as she did an idea began to form in the deepest corner of her heart.
No, that’s just madness, she said to herself. She rolled over to face Bao Bao. ‘What would your daddy say if we suddenly turned up? He’d say we were crazy, wouldn’t he?’ She smiled at the thought.
Bao Bao gurgled and kicked his legs. Mirabel closed her eyes. Rose had told her you didn’t need a visa to get into Shanghai. That’s why so many Jews had fled there from Europe. So why couldn’t she go there too?
She cuddled Bao Bao close to her side as the idea mushroomed. ‘We will all be together soon, my darling.’
A New Plan
Rose came rushing across the park, looking as fresh and as pretty as ever in bobbysocks, a bright yellow skirt and cream blouse. Her hair swung loosely in plaits on her shoulders.
‘Sorry I’m late, Belle, but I had to send a care package to Dave in Japan. Even though he’s an airman, he still can’t get the necessities of home. How is everything?’ She flung herself down on the seat. ‘How’s little Bao Bao?’
Mirabel pulled out a photograph from her handbag and showed it to Rose. ‘He’s six months old and growing big so fast,’ she said proudly.
Rose’s smile widened. ‘He’s gorgeous! What a pity you couldn’t bring him.’
‘Father’s still ashamed of us. You have to come over for a visit. I keep telling Bao Bao about his Auntie Rose, how pretty and smart she is and – ’
Rose snorted. ‘Auntie Rose! That makes me sound like an old lady!’
Mirabel couldn’t keep it in any longer. ‘Rose, I’ve got something to show you.’ She thrust out her left hand.
‘Ooh, that’s pretty!’ Rose glanced at Mirabel, a quizzical look on her face. ‘Have you met someone new?’
‘No, it’s from JJ.’
‘JJ? I thought it was all over between you two.’
‘So did I,’ Mirabel gushed, ‘until Frank dropped by to give me this ring and JJ’s letter. He still loves me. Can you believe it?’ She smiled at Rose, waiting for her surprised congratulations. But Rose looked down, hesitating.
‘What?’ Mirabel said, confused.
‘Don’t get me wrong, Belle, but… are you sure he’s the right man?’
Mirabel couldn’t believe her ears. ‘What are you talking about? I thought you liked him.’ She leapt to her feet and stood glaring down at this girl who was supposed to be her best friend.
Rose reached up and pulled her down.
‘I thought you’d be happy for me,’ said Mirabel, looking away.
‘I am, Belle, but realistically speaking, how’s it going to work? You know how tight the immigration laws are now. And China’s so far away.’
Mirabel hesitated, then said, ‘I wasn’t going to tell you until later, but I’m leaving for Shanghai in eight weeks’ time.’
Rose stared at her in disbelief.
‘I’ve bought the ticket and everything has been arranged, so don’t think you can talk me out of it.’
Rose’s face filled with concern. ‘But … Belle, the situation is grim over there. My aunt and uncle have been writing letters from Shanghai telling us all about it. They say that the foreigners and those who can afford it are packing up their valuables and getting out, deserting their homes because they fear the Communists.’
‘The civil war is way up north. Frank said so himself. And Shanghai is an international city; the Communists wouldn’t dare attack.’ Mirabel took Rose’s hand. ‘I’ll be fine, really. I know it’s the right thing to do. If I wait any longer, I don’t know when JJ will be able to come to Australia and I’m so sick of waiting.’
Mirabel sat back, looking down the avenue of trees towards the city. The sun glinted off panes of glass like far-off beacons. She had never felt so sure about the future as she did at that moment. ‘All I know is that JJ loves me. To fortune you’ll flee. That’s what the last line of the oracle bone says. So, you see, nothing can go wrong.’
Rose grimaced. ‘It’s the line that says “lost on the sea” that I’m worried about. You are either very brave or very stupid. I can’t decide which.’
Mirabel smiled. ‘Just following my heart for once. Is that so wrong?’
Rose lifted Mirabel’s hand and looked at the ring more closely. ‘It’s very beautiful.’ Her mouth trembled and she clasped Mirabel to her in a sudden hug. ‘I’ll miss you, Belle,’ she choked.
‘I’ll miss you too.’
A lone butcherbird called from a paperbark tree. Its melodious song echoed across the park.
‘I only have one regret,’ Mirabel said, sitting back. ‘And that is leaving Mama. She’s not been doing too well lately and I’m afraid my going away might tip her over.’
‘Is she still confused about who she is?’
Mirabel sighed. ‘As long as she feels Ai Ling’s spirit is unhappy inside her, she will never get well; I’m convinced of that.’
‘What about Ai Ling’s father? Is he still blackmailing your dad?’
‘Yes, it’s been more than twenty years. God, I hate that man.’ Mirabel felt her stomach clench. She sat up and looked at Rose. ‘But I have an idea.’
‘What, another one?’ Rose smiled shakily.
‘I’m going to see him and beg him to release Mama once and for all. I’m going to appeal to the better side of his nature … if there is one … and get Mama’s life back.’
Rose wrinkled her brow. ‘I don’t know if it will do any good.’
‘It’s worth a try.’ Mirabel shrugged. ‘I don’t know what else to do.’
Rose nodded slowly as she watched a lady walking by pushing a pram. She rubbed Mirabel’s arm. ‘Do you have anywhere to stay in Shanghai?’
‘No, I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. Why?’
‘I was thinking I could write to my aunt and uncle and tell them you’re coming. I�
��m sure they’ll be able to help.’ Rose looked away. ‘I can’t believe you’re really going, Belle.’
Mirabel smiled. ‘Neither can I.’
The Dress of Healing
Mirabel opened her jewellery box and picked out the peony hair clip. It looked like lace but was made from the finest threads of silver. Kingfisher feathers formed the petals with a single pearl at its centre. Looking at it closely, she realised how beautiful it really was, something she had not appreciated when she was younger. In her mind’s eye she saw the young Ai Ling give the clip to Mama. A gift of friendship. Then she saw the two girls growing up together, sharing one another’s dreams as only best friends can.
Mirabel brushed her hair so that it fell softly on her shoulders and slid the hairclip in place above her left ear.
Slipping on a pale-blue coat, she gave instructions to Mei Lin about feeding Bao Bao, and left the house. She didn’t have a plan. Her only hope was that the peony hair clip might stir up some vein of compassion in Chen Su Ting.
Mirabel stepped up onto the verandah of the neat little cottage and rapped on the door. Soon, slow dragging footsteps could be heard coming up the hall. As the door opened, she took a step backward.
Behind the flywire a small frail thing peered out at her, eyes dark and spiritless.
‘Mr Chen?’ she said.
Chen Su Ting stood looking at her, mouth slightly agape.
‘I’d like to speak to you –’
‘Ai Ling.’ Chen Su Ting’s voice was a whispered rasp. ‘You have come back to me.’ The flywire door creaked as he pushed it open. The colour had drained from his face, making him seem almost transparent.
Mirabel stared at the man who had sold his daughter’s name, profited from her death, and then blackmailed his way to Australia. For years he had been taking money from Mirabel’s father, draining their family like some huge tick gorging on blood. She realised that her mother’s madness was at least in part associated with this parasite, even though the original deception had been neither her choice nor her fault. And now, he thought his daughter had returned to him. The crazy fool. She touched the peony hair clip. Then the emotion she had bottled up inside burst out.
Little Paradise Page 13