“La, why do you think God took mom and dad from us so early? I’m scared that something is going to happen where we get spilt again.” I kiss his head.
“Mark, I am not sure why he did that. Maybe he needs there help with something important, like a mission. Also don’t worry I am going to make sure that you stay close to me.” He turns over and I stare into his eyes.
“Promise? I really like Brandon and think that I will love living here. I know that you aren’t old enough to take me, but he told me that he does anything for the ones he loves, and that I am going to become a big part of his life in a good way. I have no idea what he is talking about so I just nod.” I laugh as I crawl up to him. Does Brandon love me? Is that what Gage was trying to say? Well I guess it doesn’t matter, because we still can’t be together till at least graduation, and I am not going to do that to him. I feel my eyes get heavy as I think about my parents, my real dad, and Brandon.
CHAPTER 7
Being at school usually sucked, after you return and everyone knows that there has been a tragedy in the family. They start staring at you even more. I hate it, I do. My parent’s funeral is set for Saturday. I have taken off most of this school week, but I refuse to sit at home any longer. So here it is the day before the funeral. Thanks to Brandon I have all the arrangements taken care of, he even invited my dad’s side of the family. Social services didn’t waste any time either. They showed up Wednesday and said the judge wants to sign off earlier, so they are going to have all the paper work completed next week. I’m a nervous wreck trying to function on my own. I have debated doing home school and the only thing keeping me from that is my life. I have been given a lot of at home assignments to do. So I keep busy. Now I am waiting for this dang English teacher to shut up so we can leave already. I have to go home and make sure all the food is ready for the get together afterward the funeral. That’s going to be at my house. Finally time to leave.
“Lannie, wait up.” I stop right before I am to my car. I wait for him to approach.
“Yes Sir?” He arches his brow and gives me a shitty grin.
“Sir? Really? Now when am I ever a sir to you?” I laugh at Brandon’s remark. This is true, but I have been trying to distance myself from him. The feelings have been getting worse, more than ever.
“I know, but I’m trying to remain professional at school and that is harder than you think.” He nods his head.
“I came to see if Mark could stay the night with you. I have a few things that I have to do tonight and there not suitable for kids. I plan to still be there for you, and him at the funeral.” I nod before turning back and walking to my car. I feel sad all the time and it’s starting to take a toll on me.
“I guess I will see you tomorrow then. Bye Mr. Jones.” I jump into my car before giving him a chance to talk more. Ashley’s already gone for the day. I had to stay extra to get caught up on the remainder of my school work that I have missed. I drive home in silent.
I pull into my driveway; I get out and walk down to check the mail. I look through and freeze on a packet that is addressed to me from NYU. I breathe in as I rip it open and read the letter. I am shocked as I stand there holding it, rereading it over and over again. I cannot believe this. I hear a car pull up, but I ignore it as I am still stuck on this paper.
“Hey bitch, what you reading?” I glance over at Ashley standing there.
“I got accepted to NYU. To start in the fall.” She gasps as she takes the paper from me and looks over it.
“Oh my god La, that is amazing. So I guess NYU here we come, huh?” I glance at her and shrug my shoulders as I head inside.
“Why did you do that? Are you not going?” I get inside and I have gotten so use to the quite now, that I welcome it.
“I am undecided. I mean Mark is here and has no one. I am all he has. If I up and leave to go to NYU then he will feel like I abandon him. So I am unsure.” I set my stuff on the foyer table, before heading to my room.
“La, listen to me. He will not think that, I mean he has Brandon. He won’t be alone and I am sure you will be home for Holidays and even if not he can come up there. This is your dream that you have worked your ass off to get and now because of something that isn’t even your fault you’re going to throw it away. What does Brandon say about it all?” I let out a sigh.
“Just drop it okay?” I snap at her.
“Fine La. So what are we going to do tonight?” I look at the clock. It was only four and Mark will be here around five.
“How about when Mark gets here we take him to a movie and dinner? Get his mind off what is about to happen tomorrow?” She nods as we began to get ready.
Around six we were all ready heading out the door to go to the movies and dinner. Mark’s excited to go somewhere other than home and school. It made me smile and also made my decision even harder when it came to NYU. We arrive at the movies just in time and before it starts I receive a bit confusing text from Brandon.
Brandon: Lannie, I want you to know that no matter what happens I will be here for you. I am not going anywhere. You are the prettiest woman that I have seen in a long time. If I would have met you maybe a year before or a year after, then maybe we could have been something real together. I am sorry that we will never be able to know what our love could have been. I am very blessed to have Mark and am grateful to be able to help you when you needed someone the most. Now I am just typing random things and not making any sense to myself or to you. I hope that you have a nice night and that I will be your shoulder and strength tomorrow. Goodnight Sweetheart. XOXO
I stare at the text until the movie starts. Unable to think of a response to all of that. Was he telling me that he loves me? Then he goes on about how we can never be. This is giving me a headache. I power down my phone and focus on the movie that Mark picked out. I have no clue what is going on though, because even when I try all I can think of is that damn text from Brandon. For a guy that is a teacher and smart. He really isn’t all that great when it comes to texting.
“Lan, wasn’t that a great movie?” I snap back to see the credits rolling on the screen and Mark waiting for me to answer.
“Oh yeah. Great movie so worth the money. So dinner?” He nods as we begin to exit the movie theater.
“So La and Mark where you want to eat at?” I look at Mark who looks deep in thought. I just laugh.
“Brandon took me to this awesome seafood place by the ocean. Can we go there?” I look at Ashley and she nods. We hop in the car while I search for the restaurant on my GPS. We began to drive listening to Jason Mraz. I am not sure what it is, but his new cd is amazing. Especially the song Quiet I can’t stop thinking that it is made for me. We pull up to the restaurants and the first thing I notice is how the ocean is literally right there, I want to sit outside so I can stare into the ocean view, especially when the sun is about it set it gives off the most amazing colors that glow off the ocean. We walk in and immediately are seated outside.
“Mark this place is amazing. Thank you for suggesting it.” He smiles as we wait for our waiter to come.
“Hello my name is George I will be your waiter. Can I start you guys off with any drinks?” I look over at Ashley who is beaming.
“Can I have a half sweet tea and half lemonade please?” The waiter gives me a weird look before nodding. I glance back out at the horizon that is starting to fall. I can’t believe that I have never been here. It’s wonderful.
“Okay do you guys want any appetizers?” I shake my head no, as I glance back at the menu already knowing what I want, because there is only one thing of seafood that I eat, shrimp.
“So Lan, who is all coming tomorrow?” I mentally scowl, because I did receive a text from Aunt Carol or Caroline as I must call here confirming that they will for sure be here. It was funny they asked if they could stay with me and my only response was no. It’s a bitchy move, but they didn’t want me staying with them so why on earth would I allow people who hate me to stay three days with me. Yea
h, not happening. The waiter comes back with our drinks and takes our order. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom When I walk pass the bar I wish I was of age to have a drink. I am walking out of the bathroom and hear an annoying female voice. Then the name she says has me stopped dead in my tracks. I listen from the side of the bathroom that is closest to the bar.
“Oh Brandon, stop it.” I pray that I am hearing things. I peak around the corner and see this beautiful blonde haired woman leaning close to Brandon. Yes the one and only Brandon. I shouldn’t feel hurt or even jealous. We are nothing, but I can’t help what my heart feels. I have to literally walk pass them to get back to my table.
“Oh Sally you’re a little tipsy already? Want to go walk on the beach?” She plays with her hair in her hands as I try to get my eyes to tear away, but can‘t. I step back around the corner to figure out my escape route. I breathe in and out.
“La? What are you doing here?” I look over to the guy’s restroom and see Gage standing there.
“I was using the restroom and needed a minute before having to answer twenty question to Mark about who is all coming. The family who hates me isn’t going to miss a chance to hurt me.” I feel the emotions of the day in my heart and the tears well up.
“Oh La. I will be there, so there won’t be any hurting going on. I promise.” I smile not telling him that I don’t want to walk that direction.
“Well I will see you tomorrow. Right?” He nods before walking away, but before continuing he turns to me.
“Lannie?” I look up, because he rarely says my full name.
“Yeah?” He closes his eyes and sighs. When he reopens them I know it’s about to be deep.
“He loves you. But he can’t be with you. Stupid rules and he can’t risk it.” I nod. He’s right. I knew it all along, but in the end it is what it is. I turn the corner and see Gage talking to Brandon while focusing on the bar. The blonde is right there leaning so close to him. This is my chance to walk by unnoticed. I hurry up and glance at them to see Gage wink at me, I am thinking he did this to help me. I smile and nod before finding my table and the food there.
“La that took a long time. Are you okay?” I think about the question. I mean, am I really okay?
“You know what? I think I am getting there. Let’s eat.” She smiles at me and I feel this weight being lifted as I realize that I need to do what is right for me. I need to accept NYU and let Brandon take the reasonability for Mark. He agreed to it and besides my parents would probably haunt my ass if they know I gave my dreams up. We finish dinner and head to the ocean. I just want to put my feet in the sand and feel the night time breeze on my skin. I sit down and watch as Mark begs Ashley to take him to the ice cream shop they have down a ways. They take off and I lay back thinking that I am going to miss this. The beach, ocean, sand in my feet, and the warmth. I hear giggling again that voice you can’t miss it, since it’s annoying as hell. They seem to be getting closer as Brandon’s voice booms through my ear.
“Sally want to put our feet in the water?” He says happily. He seems to be happy. I am glad.
“What? No. Sand will get all over my feet when there wet it makes it harder to wear the shoes. Plus I just got my toes done.” Oh my god seriously? I try to contain my laughter, but a small giggle escapes my mouth. I throw my hand over my mouth and close my eyes praying they didn’t hear it.
“Did you hear that? It sounds like someone is over there?” Her voice is so annoying. I mean if he wants to date than at least find a better girl.
“Yeah I heard it. Weird. It’s too dark to see anyone.” Oh good at least there not coming over here. I hear her voice and swear its closer than ever. I pray that Ashley and Mark don’t walk up any time soon.
“Oh look there is someone. Right there. She is lying down with her feet in the water. Ewe. She must not wear expensive shoes.” Great.
“Maybe we should walk more this way before we interrupt her. Mark? What are you doing here?” Shit. Just great.
“Ashley took me to get ice cream at that shop that you took me too. We had dinner at the restaurant and Lan wanted to come put her feet in the water.” This is great keep talking Mark.
“Where is she? I don’t see her anywhere.” Maybe they will leave.
“Oh there she is lying down right there.” Damn you Ashley. I hear the steps and keep my eyes closed. I open them to see two dark brown eyes staring down at me.
“Lannie? What are you doing?” I laugh.
“Nothing, but listening to Barbie over there.” I bust out laughing and he smiles.
“Well she is a Barbie. Ugh this night is a disaster.” I frown at him and sit up. I pat the ground next to me and wait for him. He takes his shoes off and sits down putting his feet in the water.
“So she seems nice. Very prissy, but nice.” He looks at me, but his whole demeanor has changed.
“She was nice until she opened her mouth. I can’t date her she is annoying and I thought being romantic would work, but she is to high maintenance.” I laugh again I love laughing and smiling and it seems to be him who does it to me.
“That is a little funny to me. So you looking for a girl friend? I can help find one of age not a student and not prissy.” He shrugs his shoulders, but don’t respond.
“Brandon are you ready to go?” She looks at me, but instead of a sweet smile she’s giving me the dirtiest look possible.
“Yeah I am ready. Lannie I will see you tomorrow. Have a good night.” I smile before putting back on my shoes and heading with Ashley and Mark towards the car. They were in a conversation, but I was to scattered brain to even acknowledge what was being said. We drive back to the house in silence. Once we get there Mark tells me good night as Ashley waits for him to go up the stairs before laying the questions on me.
“What is going on with you?” I stare at her in disbelief, I mean seriously she don’t know?
“I cannot stand for him to be happy and moving on. I saw them when I was leaving the bathroom and it had me stopped dead in my tracks. I also saw Gage there he told me that Brandon loves me, but he can’t risk it. I know I do, but it doesn’t mean that it hurts any less. I am so screwed up. On a good note, I decided that you were right. I’m going to accept NYU and I’m going there in the fall and start my life with, oh so amazing college boys and live my next four years my way. No Brandon, no hurt, and I can see Mark whenever.” Ashley smiles at me as I come to my decision.
“I am so glad, because I got my acceptance letter too. Bff’s till the end and Gage is going to graduate this year and move up there with us. I didn’t want to say anything, because I would stay here with you. I love you La and it’s you and me till the end. Chicks before Dicks, Hoes before Bros, and mainly Sisters for life.” I feel the tear slid down my face while she grabs me for a hug.
“I am going to have a cigarette before bed. Tomorrow will be an interesting day.” She nods before heading upstairs. I walk in the back yard and wish I had a hammock. I sit on the patio chair propping my feet up on the table and think about where I am heading. It’s weird when you think of that one person and sharp pain comes through your heart. Why can’t I have it like in the movies? I am only allowed to be alone, because my parents signed a document stating I am my own adult. That was a mandatory thing before they left. If it wasn’t for that I am pretty sure I would be living with Ashley. I go inside, but I am not tired. I turn on the TV and surf through channels as I fall on The Secret Circle I push play. I am half way through it when I hear the phone start ringing making me jump. This show is really intense. I walk to the foyer table to answer it. I don’t even look at the name as I am still fully watching the show.
“Hello.” I push pause not wanting to miss any more of it.
“Hey you. What are you doing?” I pull the phone away from my ear and see Brandon’s name displayed across the screen.
“Watching this show that is so good that I’m about to let you go so I can finish it.” He chuckles and I can’t help but smile. The sound of
his voice and laughter intoxicates my brain.
“Well I’m bored. This house is so boring it turns out. And there is nothing on TV.” Ugh men.
“Well you could watch this show I am telling you it’s- pretty intense.” Did I just invite him over? I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.
“Oh yeah? Well than I guess you better answer your door before I have to knock and wake people up.” I stand up and open the door and sure enough there he is. I hang up my phone holding open the door for him.
“It’s rude to hang up on people.” I laugh at his remark. I go back to the couch and pat the seat. He sits down and stretches his arm across the back of it.
“So where is Barbie?” He chuckles as he narrows his eyes at me.
“She, I guess is home where I dropped her off at. She isn’t what I am looking for.” He shrugs his shoulders.
“So who is you type?” I should learn about this thing called a filter for my mouth.
“You.” I remain speechless, the only thing I can do is nod. I am sure my cheeks are every shade of red if not more. I pick up the remote and hit play. I glance out the corner of my eye and see Brandon staring at me. I try to focus on the remainder of the show, but I can’t he is staring at me.
“What?” I say pausing the show. I am curious as to what he will say.
“It really sucks you know?” I narrow my eyes not getting it. He scoots a little bit closer, leans towards me as he speaks.
“Not being able to have the one thing that I crave, need, and want. To have to pretend day by day that the one thing I want is just like the others. What is really different now? Having friends tell you that it isn’t worth the risk .When in reality what good is it if you don’t take a little bit of a risk? Huh?” I scoot back a little swallowing the lump that has now formed in the back of throat. I know this feeling he is talking about.
“Well I guess we’ll never know. Brandon...” I was about to finish when I hear my name.
Trouble Page 10