I was not sure what happened between us that day. I'd never been attracted to Thomas before but his touch had woken something in me. The sudden need to be protected and cherished overwhelmed my mind. The independent spirit and character strength I'd been blessed and cursed with rarely provoked tenderness in men I'd been involved with. To be honest, it had never occurred to me to ask for it before that simple caress. I wasn't the type of woman who craved cuddles and intimacy at the end of a tough day. A warm bath, a good book and a glass of wine would do the job just fine, and they didn't come with any strings attached.
So what the hell had happened?
And why was I giving it any serious thought? Even if Thomas hadn’t been my employee, our age difference was a problem. I knew a couple of women caught in the allure of the May/December romance. They were flourishing and happier than ever while it lasted, but once the relationship lost its fresh fragrance and died its natural death, they were left in tears, with shattered self-confidence, chugging not so healthy doses of wine or pills. It was a trap I didn't want to be caught in.
The thought of my friend Jennifer was pretty fresh. She was a marketing specialist at a large media company – strong and competent, with striking intelligence yet unlucky in love. Shortly after her divorce, Jen fell prey to the easy charm of a much younger art student. He compared her beauty to the brightest stars and drew naked portraits of her while emptying her bank account. That guy was obvious, a greasy bastard with more charm than talent and brains. It was easy to predict they wouldn't last too long, but Jennifer was beside herself with happiness and ignored all the red flags. When the inevitable end knocked on her door, she crumbled under the weight of her grief. It was disheartening to watch a former beauty turn into a pathetic creature, lying on my couch, crying her eyes out and drinking copious amounts of wine.
Was it a good idea for me to go to his place? It was not too late to call him and cancel our evening.
However, Thomas was proud of the home he had made for himself. Perhaps it was presumptuous of me to say so, but I thought he wanted me to feel proud of how far he had come in life, to show me he had risen above his bad circumstances. I could tell by his tone of voice how much my approval meant to him so a simple visit wouldn’t cost me a lot.
Also… he couldn’t have made his offer on a more appropriate night of my life.
I finished applying my lipstick, took my purse and headed for the door. A grown woman should not get scared over such silly fears. I was not a hormonal teenage girl who couldn't help herself around her crush. And come on, I wasn’t crushing on Thomas! He was like a younger brother to me.
Always do what you're afraid of.
Most guys who worked at ChaosTech Solutions lived in Pacific Heights or Portero Hill and commuted to our headquarters. My loft was in one of the new skyscrapers in Mission Bay. It didn’t make any sense considering how much I hated sharp noises, but I adored the city’s bustling activity.
Thomas had moved to a house in the Marina even though it was one of the longest commuting routes to Silicon Valley. It was also an expensive neighborhood, even with the generous salaries my techies were paid. It was a strange choice indeed but he seemed happy with it. He was generally one of the earliest to arrive at work each day so I had no business questioning his choice of location.
His house was about half an hour away from my building on a good day. With the Friday traffic, though, it would take me ages to get to him. When I descended to the underground parking lot, my cell phone exploded with the sound of Guns N’ Roses and “You Could Be Mine.” Oh, for fuck’s sake! I needed a confrontation with my ex just like I needed a hole in the head, so I just got in my Lexus and ignored the incoming call while whistling to myself. When I pulled the car out onto the street, the rock n' roll music cut out mid-tune. I checked my phone at the first red light and saw I had a voicemail message.
“I'm coming over to pick my stuff up in an hour. I'd rather not see your frigid ass while I'm there.”
I let out a low chuckle as I drove into the slowly falling night.
“Frigid, huh? It wouldn't be so if you had learned how to eat pussy.” It wasn't a satisfactory retort when I couldn’t see his face turning red.
I got on the highway and merged into the busy sea of cars, lost in my thoughts. Maybe it would be wiser to go back and make sure the bastard didn’t steal anything. If he kept a steady address, I'd probably pack his garbage and send it to him straight away.
But the day had gone exceptionally well. The new clients absolutely loved my team's ideas and the marketing plan, which took me a long time and great effort. Their enthusiasm at all the prospects was still buzzing in my brain. It even helped me decrease my need for nicotine, albeit for a short time.
Why ruin such a fantastic mood by looking at that asshole’s mug? Besides, I was really curious to see Thomas's place and didn’t want to stand him up.
So what if my ex ended up stealing something or trashing my apartment? It would be a valuable lesson for me to never get involved with sleazeballs. Ever again. I’d also have to do a thorough background check before I started dating anyone. Luckily, all my truly valuable possessions were under lock and key in the building's safe and there was a good level of security.
I used the traffic jam to send a quick text demanding he left the key under the doormat. I tried my best to push away depressing thoughts of my private life for the rest of the ride. As the old adage said: ‘Lucky at cards, unlucky in love.’
I did, however, have some luck on my side, and reached Thomas's address right on time. His two-level beige house was part of a row of homes on a peaceful street parallel with Marina Boulevard. After I found a good parking spot and got out of the car, I took a better look at his home. There were small patches of grass in front, as well as decorative bushes and lit lanterns. The building blended nicely with the rest of the landscape and appeared cozy and spacious. Its upper level had a set of white-framed bay windows. It made me wonder briefly if Thomas had a hidden exhibitionist streak. I laughed nervously at the silly thought
I shook my head, locked my car and headed for the front door, which was made of some dark, massive wood with a frosted glass panel at its center. I’d always loved such details due to their illusion of transparency.
Thomas opened the door about a minute after I rang his doorbell. The nervousness got to me again as he gave me a broad, affectionate smile. He wore similar clothes to those he wore to work but his shirt was black. The first three buttons were undone and showed a bit of his toned chest. His black hair was neatly combed.
“I'm so glad you could make it, Lina. Please, step inside and make yourself at home.”
After greeting him, I moved into the house, catching the light scent of cologne as I passed him. Thomas closed the door for me and for a moment, he held his breath. Was it just me or was he squeezing the door handle a bit tighter than necessary?
Was this actually a date?
The ridiculous thought slipped out of my mind as Thomas turned around. His acquired confidence switched back in place. Any nervousness was probably my imagination.
“Welcome to my humble house, boss.” His tone sounded a bit ironic, as he looked me up and down, taking in the full details of my appearance. “Don't you ever wear anything different? Don't get me wrong, I've never met a woman who looks better in business suits than you, but with those legs... I bet jeans would look fantastic on you.” It would have been difficult to pretend I didn’t see the lascivious look in his gaze even without his provocative comment.
If he intended to shock me, he accomplished it. In spite of my naturally pale skin, blushing was not typical for me. Now, however, the tell-tale burning sensation rushed to my cheeks. Oh, fuck! I couldn’t let the kid embarrass me. This was my task.
“You're so lucky we're not in the office, young man, or you'd be getting a slap on the wrist for those words.” I wiggled my finger at him, assuming the role of a firm principal. “No matter where we are, first and foremost,
we have a business relationship. You shouldn't forget it. It would be stupid if I acted like a girl in my early twenties.” I stopped for a moment and looked away. “Just… well… hanging out with you feels unnatural.”
“I really need to whip these preconceptions of age out of your head, Lina.” Thomas smirked and went behind my back. That sudden anxiety attacked me again when I felt his slender but strong hands on my shoulders. He caressed me for a minute and helped me out of my blazer. The silk of my blouse clung to my skin as Thomas took his time to slide the fabric down my spine. His lips moved to my ear, which nearly caused me to jolt. A warm sensation ran through the skin of my back as if I had been struck by low-level electricity. “We aren't in the office now, though, but you make a good point. When we're there, I can't tell you what a beautiful woman you are.”
What. The. Fuck? Really, this had to be a messed up dream where I’d awaken any second and realize I’d overslept and was running late for a meeting. I didn’t wake up when I dragged my nails across my palm and pinched myself for a reality check. I was still there and one of my programmers and protégés was about to kiss my neck. What had happened to the mousy little boy who couldn't keep his jaw from dropping when we met?
The usual tactic would have been to talk back with a snappy retort, but my mind had stopped working.
“Thomas, what are you doing?” I uttered in a low voice.
“Just helping you out with your blazer, boss.” Thomas stepped back and held back my blazer so he wouldn't wrinkle it. As I turned around to meet his gaze, he stared back at me with a cheerful expression, innocence personified. The brat! “You need to learn to relax. Being a leader is enough of a burden.” He hung my blazer on the coat rack.
I released my squeezed fingers and forced a smile. My skin was still burning after the brief almost kiss on my exposed earlobe and the way he pressed the silk against my back.
“You make me sound like a humorless, uptight workaholic.” It was a thought that often occurred to me, especially when I had to work for hours after the end of the business day.
“I'd never describe you as humorless or uptight, Lina.” Thomas smiled again and took a step closer. I could no longer ignore the deep longing in his eyes. I should have left right then, but suddenly, the thought of returning to my loft was too much. The temptation to see what was hidden beyond the horizon had my common sense in its firm grasp. “I just want to get to know you better in an environment in which we don’t assume roles or wear masks. Let me show you around before I bore you to death with my philosophical rambling.”
His sudden goofy smile reassured me and I took my time to look at the house. His too-intimate greeting had made me completely disregard it for a moment. The first level was surprisingly neat and well maintained. My initial expectation was that Thomas would be living in a typical single man's home – messy, with odor consisting of takeout food and socks that hadn’t been washed for a week. It was a specific smell no air freshener could erase completely, no matter what. I had pretty clear memories from my short relationships with co-eds. Perhaps Thomas had taken extra efforts to clean up but he couldn’t have known I would accept his invitation that morning.
The wooden floor was polished and covered with small rugs in different sections of the cozy living room. They matched the hue of the blue walls and gave a homey touch to the otherwise uncluttered room. A hallway led to a glass door that opened onto a patio.
Clearly, my host had decided to use the entire first storey as a combination of home office, library, and a media/game room. His big sturdy desk was in the corner of the room facing the wall, right next to a big library filled almost to the brim with books. The huge HD television and the Xbox were taking up a great deal of space right in front of a leather couch. I would have been seriously puzzled if there hadn’t been any multimedia in the home of a man in his mid-twenties, though, especially one with such a strong passion for technology.
My attention, though, was soon entirely engulfed by the library. I'd been an avid reader since my early childhood so whenever I visited a friend or a lover, their books would draw me like a magnet. I moved closer to the wooden frame, which was on the verge of falling down under the weight of so much written work. My fingers caressed the spines of the heavy volumes. While I was checking the books, I could feel Thomas’s eyes on my body once again. It was easy to ignore when there was so much to look at. Most of the books were technical literature and biographies. Nevertheless, he owned a lot of fiction, too, predominantly sci-fi, fantasy and spy thrillers.
“Do you really find the time to read given all the extra projects I burden you with?” I turned to him with a wink. Thomas cast me an enigmatic look.
“Who says I'm reading at all? Perhaps it is all a ruse to seduce smart women like you.
“Right.” I slid my finger down one Ruby2 textbook and pondered on my next line “Because every woman gets wet just at the size of a man's... library.” It was as if he had revealed a totally different side of himself, activating my natural defenses. What game was he playing? “Seriously, do girls your age find reading sexy? Don't you dare laugh. I'm a dinosaur when it comes to dating.”
“For some reason, I'm attracted to older women. Now, how about we go upstairs? You'd love the view and I have some of your favorite wine.” Thomas pointed at the wide, white-painted staircase and I followed suit. As we went up, I turned to look at him with curiosity.
“You can find most of these books online. Actually, right now and probably even before their ink has dried, they were as up to date as… I don’t know. Babbage's works on the analytical machine? Why do you keep them?”
He was staring ahead of him, lost in thought, a playful smile on his lips.
“I must have some of his writing lying around here.” Thomas winked at me and reached out to caress my hand for a brief moment. “Let's just say I'm sentimental and like to keep physical memories of ideas.” When I gave him a confused look, he simply said, “Well, all these books were a stepping stone in my development, as outdated as they may be. They inspired and taught me just as much as the online information and my lectures in college, but they're more... palpable. It's like I can literally trace all the stages that helped me get to my current state in life. Does that make any sense?”
“In a way. Though, I'd rather not keep such close contact with history. It can prevent me from looking forward.” I laughed and tilted my head to study his profile. “You're really the weirdest programmer I've met, and that is saying something.”
“Oh, trust me, I get that a lot.”
We ascended to the second floor and I found myself in a huge, state-of-the-art kitchen and dining room. My eyes were instantly drawn to a large rectangular table with six cream chairs, about five feet away from the kitchen area. It was stacked with cooking equipment that appeared so professional that for a moment it was hard to believe I wasn't in a restaurant. I was shocked once again by the cleanliness. There were no leftovers in plates, empty coffee cups or plastic bottles. When did he find the time to maintain it all so well? Even if it hadn't been for the cleaning lady who took care of my loft, I doubted I'd have taken the time to do any housework myself. His organized nature put me to shame.
Maybe he had a girlfriend who took care of these details. The thought of him being in a relationship caused a tight knot to form in my stomach.
I walked around and the echo of my high heels against the floor reverberated across the space. The dining room opened onto a smaller room with various armchairs and a smaller table in the middle. However, the most impressive thing was the bay windows, which had caught my attention earlier. I walked to them, focusing on the small details such as the softness of the beige carpet and the lack of dust. Definitely not the fact that Thomas followed me with those hungry eyes of his. The intensity of his gaze was burning a hole in my back.
“Wow. That is quite a view indeed.” The entire marina was on display in all of its glory. It was getting darker outside and lantern lights illuminated the
rows of yachts in an eerie manner. Thomas dimmed the lights while I gazed with longing at the ocean outside. “I must be paying you too much if you can afford this place.”
The sound of his chuckle coincided with the loud popping of a cork. I turned around to see him taking two wine glasses from the cupboard. He raised himself on his toes to reach for the upper shelf and his black shirt slid against his back. Damn, his body had evolved so well over the years. For a brief moment, I wondered how my hands would feel on his bare shoulders, stroking his skin. Would it be smooth or rough to touch? What sounds would he make while my fingers roamed down his flesh?
Oh, what was going on? It was the second time today I'd had mental pictures of him naked. Maybe it was because I hadn’t been laid properly for months. That must have been it.
“You've contributed greatly,” Thomas said and returned to the table to set the glasses down. “But I doubt I'd be able to afford it even with my salary.” He focused on pouring the wine but his hands trembled for a moment in spite of the confidence in his voice. “Four years ago I was contacted by a lawyer who informed me my father had left me a generous life insurance policy. I was entitled to the entire amount once I turned twenty-one. I thought the house was a good investment and it would leave me with some form of permanent memory of him. I recently paid it off entirely.” Thomas smiled shyly as I walked back to the table. He hurried to change the subject.
“I'm happy things turned around so well for you. You deserve it.” My eyes widened as I checked the label on the wine bottle. The surprise cut short my little cheesy speech.
“This is the Red Car Estate Vineyard Syrah?” The shock made me raise my voice a little. “My favorite wine in the world. How did you know?”
“The super power of a good memory and the fact I've been your whipping boy for a little over a year.” Thomas handed me the glass of wine, and it glowed like a dark jewel in my hand.
“Oh, come on. That’s too dramatic. I haven’t driven you that hard.” I nudged him and looked down at the wine so I could enjoy the game of light and shadows in the glass.
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