“I'll defend myself.”
“Your funeral, dear Lina. If I were you, I'd consider my resignation. The board members aren't impressed with your... artistic performance.”
“Then I guess I'll see you in the boardroom,” I said with a saccharine voice while clutching the desk with my free hand. I wished it was his throat. “It will be an enlightening experience.”
James laughed, convinced of his pathetic, slimy victory.
“You'll receive an official notification, missy.” If I sued this waste of space for each time he was inappropriate or politically incorrect, I'd have wasted my whole life in court rooms. “Don't say I didn't warn you.”
“Ah, James, the voice of reason always speaks through you.” My voice turned sickly sweet and drenched with sarcasm. How lovely it would be to crush his balls in one smooth move. Not yet. “Have a nice day and you may let the rest of the boys know I'm dying to meet them.”
I hung up on him before he had a chance to retort, just in time to receive another text from Thomas.
“River Cafe. In 15 minutes. PLEASE!”
I'd already started my morning of soul crushing conversations but was I ready to meet the man responsible for my public demise? There would never be an appropriate time. Eventually, I'd have to make the difficult decision about what to do about him. It'd better be now. My wrath was fresh enough and it was less likely I’d fall victim to his emotional manipulation.
He'd been playing me from the first day we met, always appealing to my feelings rather than logic. The sad, scared boy searching for his way through life. The suave young man who put me under his spell and swept me off my feet with an acquired confidence. The angry psychopath. The distressed lover too terrified to make the same mistake again. How many masks did he have? They covered well the soul of a sadist who would have no qualms about throwing me under the bus.
A woman past her mid-thirties should know better than to fall in love like this.
I sighed and texted him a simple ‘ok’ in response. Steeling myself would be crucial.
Before leaving the office, I dialed one last number.
“I'll need your services.”
Weeks later, while I was replaying the events over in my mind, I'd realize it was the first time of crisis when I didn't even think of cigarettes.
I should have seen it coming. The blow would leave me lying on the ground with a sore jaw and blurred vision. Life had been too good to be realistic. Happiness had wiped away the constant anxiety, my companion ever since the beginning of our therapy. For the first time, I couldn't ask for more. The challenge of a job I was passionate about and a relationship with the woman of my dreams made me feel powerful. Confident. Anything was possible. My imagination was drawing brave future plans. Lina was at the center of them, like a strong, bright flame, which kindled my passion and made me strive for more. The thought of being with someone other than my passionate tigress was meaningless.
I had no doubt my boss was the perfect submissive for me even though our relationship was so new. The memory of Lina rising above her pain and distress, offering herself in spite of everything I put her through still gave me chills. She deserved the best and I longed for her to see herself through my eyes and realize how special her surrender was.
And where were we now? Our special connection was once again in shambles because of my stupid, selfish desire. It was my fault. Maybe this time, the damage was beyond repair.
That sensation grew stronger when Lina walked in the cafe, as pale and out of shape as you would expect in such a crisis. When the woman approached the corner table I picked for our difficult conversation, I recognized the steel in her blue eyes. The emotional armor was back. Pleading for her to open up to me again, to trust me, wouldn't work. The cold gaze, the clenched jaw and the despair she exuded spoke volumes.
Lina would never forgive me.
When I finally found my voice, I was convinced it was all meaningless. How could things be ruined in less than twenty-four hours? Last night, I’d walked her to her car after an amazing weekend together. We’d made plans and kissed passionately until our lips were about to bleed.
If I’d known that today my pet would be a distant stranger, I'd never have let her go. But would that make any difference?
“Lina, I–”
“Who are you working for?”
What the hell? Confusion rendered me speechless. My boss had every reason to be mad at me, to accuse me of failing her, but did she actually think I'd go to such lengths to sabotage her? Given our messy history, it made sense but it still triggered my urge to fight. Lina could choose to believe whatever she wanted but I had to defend myself.
“I’ve got nothing to do with the leak of our photographs.” I put emphasis on the word our even if no one could connect me to them. My face was safely hidden behind the camera. “I have no idea what is going on, but I'm not the one who sent that e-mail. I may be insecure and selfish but I'd never betray you.” I reached out to take her hand and wasn't surprised when she yanked it away in disgust. The pain of such a small gesture shot straight through my chest but I ignored it. “I love ChaosTech. It would never function without you, Lina, but above all–”
“Thomas, this is a charming act but I'm not buying any of it. You're the only one who has those pictures. Or at least, you were.” In spite of her efforts to appear composed, Lina couldn't hide the pain in her voice. “Haven’t any of your accomplices told you? I may no longer be CEO after the boardroom meeting at the end of the week. They'll vote for my dismissal.”
“What?” I blinked a few times. “Lina, I'm sorry but this is insane.”
“Is James the one who hired you?” She smiled and her blue eyes turned into a pair of hard icicles. Just looking at her empty expression increased my rage. “What did he promise you that I couldn't give to you?” she spat. The cruel mockery of my own words uttered during that horrible night slapped me even harder.
“James? Are you kidding me? You seriously think I'd ever turn to that prick? He's too high and mighty to deal with the tech staff. Even if we're the ones who pay for his extravagant life and filthy habits with our effort and talent.”
“Ah, is that what this is all about, Thomas? Revenge?” She laughed. “You're the one who works so hard to build the perfect code and product. The brilliant mind who stays in the shadows? And you're mad I get the money and recognition, huh?”
The bitterness was etched on her face as she uttered the next words.
“What have I done to deserve such success, you ask yourself? Someone better put me back in my place.”
It took me a lot to handle myself. I was seething with rage at those who had made her believe all this nonsense, whoever they were, but I wouldn't listen to her ridiculous accusations any longer.
“My fault was not being careful enough with the pictures.” I spoke in a low, barely restrained voice as Lina fixed me with mockery in her eyes. “I thought I had it all covered. The only place I kept those pictures was on my home computer. It was protected against hacker attacks. My firewall was solid. For fuck's sake, I even kept them in a password protected folder. They weren’t on an FTP server nor in the cloud. They weren't even phone pics. You must believe me.”
“Believe you?” Lina looked down and drummed her fingers on the table. “I gave you everything – myself, my dignity. I trusted you with my feelings and exposed my deepest fears and darkest desires, and you stomped on my trust with muddy feet.” Her eyes shone with tears as she turned her face back to me. “An ambitious guy like you wanted more than I could offer. At this point, I doubt I could even trust myself anymore.”
“Why would I do this?” The shock and confusion made me dizzy but all the sincerity in my words wasn't getting to her. “And why wait so long? Lina, you've been my pet–”
“Don't you ever call me that again,” she hissed like a vicious snake and a dangerous flame lit in her eyes. “No one will ever own me again.”
“Okay, calm down.” Her violent
outburst crushed my hopes. Several people at the other tables turned to look at her but Lina didn't notice. “My point is, we've been intimate since this summer. If my only purpose was your disgrace why would I wait so long?”
She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, not saying a word.
“Did you tell anyone about us?” My attempt to probe deeper could have backfired but I needed to understand what was going on. Lina just pursed her lips and continued as if she hadn’t heard my question.
“You may have waited, but that doesn't change the fact you're the only one who could have sent the e-mail.” She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and stared back at me, steely and unreadable, without a trace of emotion in her voice. “Perhaps you waited for the best moment. I no longer know. I can't fire you right now.”
This had to be some fucking nightmare. How could this deep, beautiful connection we shared be erased so easily by a petty intrigue?
“Can't you see it?” I fixed my glasses, trying to do something with my hands so I wouldn't grab her right there and fuck some sense into her, even if I didn’t feel any arousal. “Someone knows about us. They're trying to sabotage you and ruin me in your eyes. We have to search for people who'd benefit from it.”
“Please, Thomas, you're getting pathetic.” She got up from her chair and spoke in an even voice. “If I'm still an active CEO by the time you finish your current projects, I'll want you to resign from the company. If we have to talk meanwhile, it will be through e-mails and the company chat.” Lina paused. “So I guess you'd better hope the board destroys me.”
It was more than I could handle. I reached out and grabbed her wrist. This time, I didn't care if she was scared, but her eyes remained impassive and she just smiled with condescension.
“Okay, if you don't want to be with me again I'll accept that.” Why did she have to be so stubborn? “But this is an inside job. My home computer is very well protected. It must be the work of an experienced hacker. Please, let me help you get to the bottom of it.”
Lina swallowed and yanked her trembling hand out of my grasp. She avoided my stare and spoke in a choked voice.
“Farewell, Thomas.”
The sight of my pet turning her back on me and walking away was hard enough, but then she stopped and looked at me over her shoulder. Her final words made the dagger sink so deep inside me I felt like I was dying.
“I really loved you.” Her solitary whisper was so low that for a moment I wasn't sure she’d said it.
Loved.
I could run after her. I could insist she listen to me but what was the point? Lina had condemned me in her mind. Nothing could break her of her conviction that I’d betrayed her. This time, domination and sex wouldn't solve our issues.
Never had I seen such a lonely and lost female figure, walking away in the backdrop of pouring rain.
***
After she left, I stayed put for about ten minutes, staring at my untouched black coffee. When Lina agreed to meet me, hope had filled me like a powerful drug. It was all a misunderstanding and we could easily find our way out of this mess. But the elation drained out of my system and left me writhing on the inside.
It was the first time I couldn't find anything to be optimistic about. Perhaps our relationship really was not meant to last since it was so fragile. That didn't change my feelings for Lina or ease my desolation. Losing her was like losing the air in my lungs or having my heart destroyed into a million bleeding pieces. The only thing more painful than her absence was her lack of trust in me. Yes, I had done some fucked up things to her, but I’d also done my best to make her realize her happiness and safety were my priorities. Her assumption I was working for James ‘Greasy Pig’ Douglas nearly sent me into a fit of poisonous rage.
After all those years and all our amazing moments together, did Lina Riley not know me at all?
Fuck it. Maybe I should just quit. Over the last year, representatives of different HR agencies and companies had been trying to recruit me. It wouldn't be difficult to find a new job. My name was not involved in the scandal. If Lina thought I was a low life who would betray her trust for an easy, cheap career advance, so be it.
“Excuse me?” A quiet voice interrupted my internal rage. I looked up and met the eyes of the waitress. She was a shy, petite beauty with blushing cheeks. Her nametag said Rose and it fit the color of her face in that moment. “Would you like anything else? Is there something wrong with the coffee?”
Perhaps I really was wasting my time with Lina. She always forfeited at the first sign of trouble. Her baggage of issues and our messy history would only mean further trouble down the road if we survived this crisis. Did I really need such a fucked up relationship?
The girl was biting the inside of her lips and messing with the hem of her uniform. Maybe a change would be good for me and it was time to move on. I could ask for the waitress's number and was confident she'd be delighted to give it to me. Judging by her body language and the precious way she was blushing, there was a chance she could make a better pet even than my bratty boss.
The world was filled with opportunities, with this particular girl or someone else. So many career choices, so many women who would appreciate and trust me.
Escaping from my nightmare would be so easy.
“No, thank you,” I said with a polite smile and took a larger note out of my wallet. The waitress widened her eyes at the big tip. Before she could protest, I wished her a nice day and left without hesitation.
The rain was still pouring outside. I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head and kept walking.
Yes, Lina wasn't easy to deal with and she didn't make a perfect submissive. Some more experienced Master would say I did a piss poor job with her training. Still, she’d been my pet and put a humongous amount of trust in me by letting me take pictures of her in such vulnerable positions. In spite of all the drama in our relationship, a part of me was convinced this stubborn woman was the perfect fit for me.
It was irrelevant at the moment. Even if we never got back together, I owed Lina a way out of this mess, whether she wanted my help or not.
This was no time to escape or wallow in self-pity.
Allie was less than pleased when I buzzed the intercom of her building. She took her second job very seriously and hated being interrupted. Usually I respected her dedication and would never have even thought of bothering her. I was well aware there would be a shit storm when I decided to visit her studio, but at this point, there were more important things at stake than my friend's mood.
Allie did her best to keep a balance between her two identities. I knew them both but it wouldn't save me from her busting my balls.
“Thomas, how many times have I told you not to come here?” Her voice was no louder than usual but the icy tone was like a heavy slap on my cheek. “Shouldn't you be working?”
“So should you,” I said with the same tone and shoved my hands deep in my jacket pockets. “Do you really want to have this conversation on the street? I thought you didn't take clients during the week.”
She sighed with irritation and hissed at me,
“Since when do I owe you an explanation, Tommy boy? Go fix your pet's timetable if you feel like micro managing. I'm really busy now.”
“Allie, please...”
“It's Mistress Sheila, damn it!” I could picture her rolling her eyes while drumming her long fake talons against the wall. “I warned you not to call me that here.”
“I wouldn't have come here if it wasn’t an emergency... or if you had picked up your phone. Please, it's important.”
“Well, well, how could I miss the opportunity to hear Master Thomas himself begging?” Her wicked laughter didn't promise anything good. “Walk yourself in.”
Allie buzzed me in and I hurried to enter the building. Whatever sadistic games she planned to pull on me, her skills would be invaluable. Some might say I should have saved Lina on my own but fuck those people. In a time of war, smart people gather thei
r best resources and aren't afraid to call in reinforcements if necessary.
When my friend let me into her apartment at the studio at the top floor she had an evil grin on her face and a naked man on a leash kneeling at her feet. Just as expected. The first time Allie introduced me to her other self, it was the biggest shock of my life. I still had a hard time wrapping my head around her transformation. I knew she was a Domme, but seeing her in that outfit turned her into a completely different person.
Most of the time she was a typical computer nerd/tomboy and did her best to hide her femininity and amazing good looks. They were difficult to spot under layers of shirts, baggy jeans and baseball caps covering her face. According to Allie, she preferred it as a cover and a safer way to watch people. It gets difficult to pass incognito when you're a sky-high blonde with killer legs and burning black eyes. When I asked her to put something sexy on a few months ago on our disastrous club date, I was surprised she didn't bite my head off. It was probably the only time I’d seen Allie break the habit and reveal the sexy lady she truly was.
Mistress Sheila – her alter ego, the formidable Dominatrix – was a different story. Today, she had decided on a long black wig that reached the small of her back and murderous violet contact lenses. The black latex corset, fishnet stockings and calf high boots with spiked heels completed the image of a Queen of Pain. The riding crop she was clutching didn't hurt either. My gaze slid to the man at her feet for a brief moment. Early thirties, good looking, athletic, but it was difficult to say for sure since he was facing the floor, on his hands and knees, with his ass in the air so his Mistress could whip him at her convenience. Sheila sure took good advantage of the position. His back was covered with crimson stripes.
Her client looked the part of a perfect pet, which disgusted me a bit. Don’t get me wrong, I was in favor of everyone doing what they wanted in the bedroom, but I couldn’t understand the mentality of such men. Allie would often grill me about it.
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