I found her asleep on the double bed in a short black nightie and stockings. There were several candles burning on the bedside table. Some of them had burnt out and filled the room with an unpleasant smoky smell.
Her sexy attire surprised me. Ever since the attack, she'd worn nothing but baggy old t-shirts, and sweatpants, as well as long towel robes. When we went out, her wardrobe choice was limited to turtleneck sweatshirts and pants, hiding the beautiful curve of her ass. Seeing her in something so provocative and erotic was a breath of fresh air.
I stroked her shoulder and Lina fluttered her eyes open. She smiled, still half asleep, and reached out to caress my face. It didn't escape my attention that her nails had been cut short and well polished. My pet rose to her knees and said in a kitten-like, sweet voice.
“I missed you, Sir.”
That knocked me again. We hadn't restored our D/s relationship even if I dominated her into finally taking a step towards recovery. It was a bad idea, especially since she was still struggling to accept that the attack wasn't her fault.
I ran my fingers through her hair and she closed her eyes. Her expression was blissful and I could nearly hear her purring. So why did it seem like something was off?
“I missed you as well, pet.”
She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me closer to her soft, tempting body. It would be difficult to resist her, as much as my mind was struggling with the idea of taking her. It was hard to take care of your needs solely through masturbation when you lived with the woman of your dreams.
Lina started kissing me feverishly and pushed me down onto the bed. She hovered over me and ran her hands down my chest while swaying her hips.
“I wanted to talk to you, Master.”
I blinked at the sudden change in her behavior andhesitantly placed my hands on her ass .
“What is it, Lina? You're very perky today.”
“I made up my mind, Sir.” She straddled my crotch and squeezed her legs around me while she unbuttoned my shirt. “Maybe it's really time to give it all up and quit before I get hurt.”
“Pet, what are you talking about?” I gasped at the realization she had no panties under her barely there nightie. Lina pressed her bare pussy to my pants and leaned forward to lick my chest.
“About ChaosTech Solutions, business, the IT industry. I proved myself there. So maybe it's time to get out before they crush me.” The sensual, seductive woman withdrew for a second and looked at me with fear in her eyes. “It's a man's world.”
“Lina, you can't be serious.” As much as I hated to interrupt this heavenly moment, her words meant she was far from recovery. “You love the company and your job. Would you really quit because of Seth?”
She pulled the nightie over her head and tossed it aside, leaving her in just her stockings, grinding her wet pussy against me. It was weak to give in to her seduction, but I missed being intimate with her so much it hurt.
“Maybe I'm sick of fighting everyone all the time to prove my worth.” Lina pulled the zipper of my jeans down and ran a finger over her wet clit. “I'd rather be your slave and plaything.”
“What?” My eyes widened in shock. It was impossible to protest too much when she was pulling my cock out. It got even harder in her soft hand. I moaned at the sensual embrace of her fingers around my shaft. “Lina, this isn't like you at all. You'd never–”
“Shh...” Lina smiled and knelt between my legs. She took my cock head between her beautiful lips. “Let your slave girl pleasure you, Master.” Her tongue ran over the entire length of my throbbing flesh. My protest died on my lips. Fuck, I was too weak to fight her. The pent up lust from months of no sex was too much to handle. My hand tangled in her hair and I urged her to keep sucking me.
Lina knew if she continued with her wet, warm blowjob I'd cum in her mouth. She hurried to straddle me and pressed my bulbous head against her hot, silky entrance.
“I love you, Thomas.” Her husky, sexy voice never failed to bring me near the edge of climax. “I want to give you everything.”
I couldn't have cared less whether her words were a symptom at that moment. I grabbed her by the hips and thrust deep inside her, groaning with relief when she squeezed my cock with her tight walls. Lina kept rubbing her clit and squeezing one of her luscious tits.
“I mean it, Master. Everything.” She was moaning at the top of her voice when I started pounding her hard, digging my fingers into her ass cheeks. It'd been so long since I'd had my pet. I wanted to enjoy her to the fullest. Lina gasped when I pressed my hand to her fingers, guiding her while she masturbated on top of me. “I'll give you my total submission, 24/7 slavery.”
Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and I continued to pleasure her growing clit. Her juices were soaking my balls and it made me fuck her even harder.
“I'll give you my company as well. You proved your leadership qualities. You'd make an amazing successor. Just, please, be kind to me and protect me. Don't hurt me like he did.” Those words cracked something in me no matter how horny I was and in spite of our sensual embrace. The decision was clear but letting go of our pleasure right then would have been too painful. I pushed away the inevitable and pulled her on top of me, crushing her delicious tits against my chest. I found her earlobe and whispered in a rough, authoritative voice.
“Wrists behind your back, pet.” Her pussy walls closed tighter around me when she tossed her hair back, obeying my orders like a good girl. I grabbed her slender wrists and kept fucking her, trying to savor as much of that moment, as much of her and our connection as I could. It would never be enough. My need for her would never be sated, but right then I'd leave my mark on her and stamp the moment in my memory forever. She squirmed in my arms, grinding her tits against me and rubbing her clit to my skin. I pounded her with no mercy while I whispered in her ear.
“You'll always be mine, Lina.” It was difficult to say who was I trying to persuade. She didn’t need a lot to believe it. Her face writhed in pleasure. When the words escaped her parted lips they were desperate.
“Master, please, allow me to cum.”
“Cum for me, pet. Cum as hard as you can. Don't stop until I say so.” I growled in her ear and buried my thumbs hard against her pale ass cheeks. There would be bruises the next day. It only made her cry harder when she came on my cock and kept creaming on it as the succession of orgasms shattered her body. The sight of her reddened, sweaty skin, loud cries of utter release and the bright gleam in her eyes were the last straws that pushed me into my own climax. I grunted out loud and wrapped my legs around her ass while filling her tight pussy with hot cum.
When she came down from her high I ordered her to stop and cupped her face so I could capture the expression of release, happiness and satisfaction.
Chances were this would be the last time I'd revel in her afterglow.
Just one more night to forget.
***
There was no easy way to tell Lina about my decision. I felt like a complete coward, as if I was choosing the convenient path. If there was one thing life had taught me it was that you should want the best for those you love, but the best didn't always coincide with what they wanted.
Right then, Lina was convinced giving her freedom away and turning into my obedient slave would be the answer to her problems. She was adamant she wanted it. I wasn't sure my pet knew where her true desires were, though.
I took her out for a walk in our favorite park the day after our passionate love making. She looked so happy, holding my hand and occasionally leaning her head on my shoulder. We were just like any normal couple. For a moment, the sweetness of the illusion allured me. Maybe it would wait just one more day. Tomorrow I'd have the strength to do the right thing. Would it be so bad if I had those last minutes of happiness?
Deep down, I knew the answer.
Lina felt my solemn mood and raised her eyes. She looked so beautiful in that moment, so close and yet unattainable. I took a moment to remember her long,
flowing hair in the spring wind, the sensual curve of her lips and body, the gleam in her eyes.
“You're very quiet today. Is something wrong?” Panic that had once been so untypical of her showed when we sat down on a free bench. “Have I... Have I done something wrong? I really thought you'd be happy.” Lina lowered her gaze to our interwoven hands, just like a reprimanded schoolgirl who expected to be punished.
That attitude urged me to get through with the most painful conversation of my life. I caressed her face and spoke in the most gentle tone.
“Look at me, pet.” She followed my order hesitantly and gave me a shy smile. Why did it have to be so difficult? My throat hurt when the next words escaped my lips.
“I love you, Lina.”
Her cheeks beamed with an unexpected color and she pounced on me, kissing me with her typical hunger. I'd miss my insatiable tigress, the way she could never get enough of the pleasure we shared.
We pressed our foreheads together and stayed like that for a long time, holding hands and enjoying our warmth. Finally, the strength to continue came back to me.
“I want you to remember that.”
She narrowed her eyes at my words and shivered with discomfort.
“Of course, Thomas. I love you too. I wouldn't offer what I want to do to just anyone.”
I interrupted her with a finger against her lips.
“Please, let me finish.” The pillow of my finger pressed against the seductive flesh of her mouth. Why couldn't I be more irresponsible? Why couldn’t I just accept what she gave me without questioning it? “I never wanted any woman like I want you. Your submission is something I've craved since we met. I still desire you to be my cherished pet and lover. I don't want any barriers between us. Nothing would satisfy me more than you surrendering your walls and letting me in completely.”
“That's what I want, too, Thomas,” she answered with despair and tried to pull me closer.
“No.” I shook my head and placed my hands on both sides of her head. “You said you wanted to be my slave.”
“Those are just words. I'll be whatever you want me to be.” Her horror at my rejection was so obvious and I felt like a total asshole for what I was about to do.
“I don't want you to be anything other than the natural woman you are, Lina. The woman I fell for.” I kissed her softly and caressed her back in an attempt to comfort her. “But what you offered me isn't what you want, pet. You're terrified of going back to the real world.”
“What?” She furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head in confusion. “No. This is–”
“It will be a nightmare when you go back to work and face everything that’s happened in your absence. So instead of putting yourself through it, you’d prefer to hide in me, at my feet. It's no life for a woman like you.”
Lina sighed and wrapped her arms around my neck. Tears were swimming in her eyes but she wouldn't let them fall just yet. She whispered her next words with heartbreaking sincerity.
“A woman like me? A strong, fearless leader? Maybe I'm tired of being strong. I've been fighting for respect all my life. Is it so wrong that all I want right now is to be loved?”
“I do love you, Lina. That's why I can't allow you to destroy yourself. If I thought you'd be happy with the life of a 24/7 slave, I'd put a collar on you instantly.” I embraced her and she searched my warmth like a shivering kitten in the cold. “But you're too vulnerable right now. What happened to you is enough to drive even the strongest person out of their mind. You can't make such important decisions under duress, and certainly not with me around you.”
She pressed her cheek to my chest even harder than before and asked me in a shaky, broken voice,
“You're leaving me, aren't you?”
“No. Please don't put it that way.” I kissed her lips to convey my passion but there was no use. Lina was trembling, struck by the hurt, feeling rejected. “I'll always be your support, someone you can rely on, your friend.”
“Friend?” She spat out the word with disgust. “You think we can be friends when I love you so much it hurts? Thomas, if you want to leave me, fine, but at least be honest.”
“Hey, hey, calm down now.” I kept her in place when she tried to get up and leave. “Lina, I need us to be apart from each other for a time. Maybe a few months, maybe a year, as long as it takes for you to heal and figure out what you want.”
“I can tell it to you right now.” Her anger faded as quickly as it had risen. “I want you. It took that night with Seth to figure it out. Please, don't leave because of what happened with him. I know and trust you. You're nothing like him.”
“Maybe I am.” I shivered under her touch. It would be so easy to let her persuade me. “Or have you forgotten about the night in the dungeon?”
“You more than made up for what happened then, Thomas.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks as Lina gave in to the pain. “You're nothing like him.”
“Perhaps you're right.” I pulled her away from me and held her hands. Seeing her in so much pain was killing me. She was so close, just out of my reach, and I was denying us both what we craved. It was cruel but necessary. I preferred to suffer now than bring destruction to both of us. “But I know if I stay around you a little longer I won't be able to control myself. I don't want to cloud your judgment, and when it comes to you, I'm a desperate addict.”
I embraced Lina for what could be truly the last time. She didn't have the power to reject me or walk away. Or perhaps she just hoped her closeness would be enough to make me change my mind.
“I'll resign from ChaosTech on Monday. We can still talk whenever you want, whenever you feel scared or panicked, but this is a battle you must face by yourself, without my help or that of cigarettes.” I choked at those last words and buried my face in her hair. A wave of self-hatred hit me so strongly I thought I could die.
“So I'm not only losing my lover but one of my best programmers and most loyal employees. You don't have to leave.” Lina looked at me with tearful eyes. Her body was shaking in my arms but she tried to remain calm. “I won't try to make your life difficult.”
“I never thought you would, but it would kill me to see you every day and know I can't be with you.”
“You can.” She kept on kissing me and every small brush of her lips was agonizing, as if she was cutting me. “I've been yours for a very long time.”
“Lina, if I stayed with you, I couldn't resist. I'd make you submit to me or give in to your offer to become a slave. If you were my pet again, I’d want to know it was what you wanted and you gave your consent because it was what you chose with a clear mind. Not because you wanted to hide in another addiction.”
“What if we forget about last night?” Lina looked up at me fearfully, with a hope I didn't have the heart to crush. But I had to.
“Remember what you told me about sweeping problems under the rug? That is what we’d do if we choose to forget last night. And please...” I wiped her tears and stared at her. “Don't ever think it's because of something you did. You're my perfect pet. Maybe after some time passes, when our wounds heal... But now I need to steer clear of you.”
Lina nodded and hugged me one more time, resting her head close to my heart. It would have been amazing if we could have stayed like that forever, without the world and its complications, but I knew the problem was not with the world itself. When she moved away from me and tried to get up, I grabbed her by the face and drew her in for a final kiss. My tongue slid deep into her mouth and stole her breath. Just as expected, Lina responded with all the passion, violence and despair she could throw into a single kiss. Her teeth sank into my bottom lip and she opened my mouth wider. We were savoring each other for the last time, saving a warm memory for the long, cold separation ahead of us. For the first time in my life, I reveled in the pain of her vicious bite and the sweetness with which she licked my lips and pulled me closer. I earned it all, the pleasure, the pain, the heartbreak and punishment.
When we
broke our kiss, I reached into my pocket and pulled a red leather collar out. It was much more beautiful and classy than the cookie cutter training one I’d given her. It matched the color of her red leather boots. She would have looked beautiful wearing it. The silver plate at the center of it stated simply My Tigress.
Lina stared at me in confusion and frowned as her fingers caressed the accessory.
“Why are you giving this to me?” she asked and stared down at the shiny plate.
“I want you to have it. I had it ordered shortly before the scandal with the pictures and planned to... well, give it to you once we finally had our ocean side weekend.”
I smiled with sadness and felt tears forming in my eyes. “Accept it as a token, a memory of what we were together. Even if we can't find each other again, I want you to have a physical memory, something to hold on to when everything else fades away in time.” My voice cracked as I tried not to touch her.
“Do you really think I could forget you, even without the collar?” She clutched it.
“No. I'll never forget you either, my pet.” I gave her my bravest possible smile and squeezed her hand for a moment. “You're truly an amazing woman and deserve to be treated as such. Go back to work on Monday and face them all. Consider that my last order as your Master.”
Two hours later when I parked my car in front of my house, the pain of separation I'd been pushing aside hit me full force. I hoped I'd be relieved. The last months with Lina had hardly been a fairy tale. A young man like me was meant to feel better in a selfish way once he'd earned his freedom back. It was a burden, so why did I feel like someone had just ripped out my insides?
The trouble and all the care Lina had required the past two months were insignificant in the bigger picture of our time together. All I could remember were the details of her – her smile, her different expressions, each change of her mood, the way her body tensed in the throes of passion, her secrets, our conversations. She could be so tender one minute and so ferocious the next. Every single moment I’d shared with my boss all these years resurfaced and pain washed over me like acid.
[Unorthodox 01.0] Unorthodox Therapy Page 39