‘I’m … I … I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry that you and Oliver are breaking up. He’s a very good man, Noreen. I always thought you were lucky with him.’
‘I was,’ Noreen said sadly, ‘but things weren’t working out between us.’
‘That’s a pity. He wouldn’t have left you looking after a baby on your own,’ Maura said bitterly and burst into tears.
Noreen let her cry. ‘Get it out of your system,’ she encouraged.
‘He’s such a bastard, Noreen, he won’t even feed the baby, he says that’s woman’s work. And he never gets up in the middle of the night and he plays golf three nights a week and every weekend and I’m finding it so hard to cope and I’m starting to hate him. I don’t even want to have sex with him and I don’t even care if he goes and finds himself another woman. He’s the most selfish, lazy, untidy bastard going. He was bad enough when we got married but he’s twice as bad now.’ She sobbed brokenly, her fists clenched in anger.
Noreen wasn’t the slightest bit surprised at Maura’s outburst. Men’s true colours often came to light when a baby was born and many marriages suffered under the strain. Andy had never been the type to put himself out, and it was clear he wasn’t going to change.
‘Oh, Noreen I wish you weren’t going away, you’ve been such a help to me.’ Maura raised her head from her elbows and sniffled.
‘You and John can always come and visit me in London, I’m sure I could do with a bit of help myself when the baby’s due,’ Noreen suggested.
‘Of course I will. I like London, that would be something to look forward to. Are you going to live with the baby’s father?’ she asked, wiping her eyes on her dressing-gown sleeve.
‘To be honest, Maura, I don’t know. The truth is, I think I don’t really like men. After Dad and all that stuff at home I got involved with a man in London who was an alcoholic too and he treated me like shit. I’ll tell you about it some time. I like Oliver and I respect him very much, but he’s a workaholic and he can’t give me the emotional security I need. I don’t think I’ll go looking to another man for it. I think I might be better off on my own.’
‘I might as well be on my own,’ Maura observed bitterly. ‘And Andy’s got a drink problem, I’ve been denying it for ages but it’s obvious. They say the children of alcoholics often marry alcoholics, I wonder why?’
‘It’s patterns that are ingrained in us since childhood,’ Noreen sighed. ‘I’m sorry you’re unhappy, Maura.’
‘Oh, I’ll get over it, I suppose. I really thought Andy would change when I had a baby, more fool I.’
‘Well, try to enjoy John,’ Noreen urged. ‘I’m really looking forward to having mine.’
‘Strange, isn’t it? We weren’t close until now. I’m glad we are.’ Maura smiled at her sister.
‘It’s about time.’ Noreen kissed her nephew’s soft downy head. ‘I suppose I’d better go and tell Rita.’
‘Don’t tell her anything I said to you, sure you won’t?’ Maura said hurriedly.
‘I won’t say a word,’ Noreen assured her.
‘It’s just I couldn’t say the things I said to you about Andy to Rita, she’s a bit … you know the way she goes on?’
‘I know, don’t worry, Maura. I’m not looking forward to telling her my news.’
‘Do you want me to tell her?’ Maura offered.
For a moment, Noreen was tempted, but she shook her head. That would be the cowardly way out. ‘Thanks. I’d better do it myself or it would give her something to moan about. Take care, Maura. When I get my phone I’ll give you the number, you have my mobile one. Keep in touch.’
To her surprise her sister stood up and kissed her on the cheek. It was the first time they had kissed in years. ‘Thanks for everything. I’ll definitely be over when the baby’s due. Mind yourself,’ she said awkwardly as she took the baby from Noreen.
‘If you see Oliver around, say hello to him won’t you? It wasn’t his fault,’ Noreen urged, anxious that no blame be attached to her husband.
‘Of course I will,’ Maura reassured her. They smiled at each other again, and as Noreen walked to her car she felt at least that her new, improved relationship with her sister was one positive thing to emerge over the past few months.
She didn’t know whether to be relieved or not when she got no answer at Rita’s door. She scribbled a note to say that she had called – it would be easier to tell her sister her news over the phone. Rita was a far different kettle of fish from Maura. She’d always been hostile towards Noreen, especially when she’d married ‘Mister Moneybags’ as she had sarcastically christened Oliver. Noreen wouldn’t put it past her to be pleased about the marriage break-up, she thought unkindly as she hastily got into the car, half afraid her sister would arrive home before she left.
She drove back into town and stopped at Brennan Motors. She might as well sell the car and use the money to go towards buying a new one in London.
Neil Brennan was talking to a man on the forecourt, so she sat on the bonnet of her car waiting until he came over. He’d done a good job on the place. She remembered Oliver telling her that he’d turned the rooms upstairs into a flat for Heather Williams. That relationship hadn’t lasted long, she reflected, as she remembered Mrs Larkin saying something about Heather catching him with her cousin.
Bloody idiot! Heather Williams was a nice girl, not like that snooty consequence of a cousin of hers. Noreen had seen her prancing around the gym in her skimpy leotard, showing off in front of the men, before she’d gone away to work. Neil Brennan’s wallet was probably the attraction there, Noreen thought nastily, as she saw him gesticulating expansively to the man he was talking to. Obviously doing his car salesman act, she thought, unimpressed, fed up at having to hang around. Car salesmen never took women seriously. She remembered buying her car from the most disinterested, patronizing, fat lump of a bloke with egg stains on his tie, and swore she’d never go to him again. If Neil Brennan didn’t come over to her in the next five minutes she was driving out of here, she told herself crossly. She gave him five minutes exactly, and got into her car. She saw him move across the forecourt. In her direction.
‘Too late, you ignoramus,’ she muttered as she drove on to the main street. Oliver would sell it for her and probably get a better price too; no doubt Master Brennan would have time to do business with him. She saw a woman on a bike on the other side of the road and recognized her mother-in-law. Cora pretended not to see her as she cycled slowly along. She was a great woman for her age, Noreen had to admit. She pulled in in front of the church grounds and phoned Oliver on her mobile.
‘Yes, Noreen?’ he said flatly.
‘Oliver, I’ve just seen your mother. I … er … well, would you like me to tell her about us? I’ll tell her it’s all down to me, of course,’ she added hastily. There was silence at the other end of the phone.
‘I don’t think that would be a good idea, Noreen. Leave it to me.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yeah, God knows what she might say to you. I think you’re better off leaving me to handle Mam.’
‘Well, I would do it if you wanted, you know that. I told Maura. Rita wasn’t in. I’ll call her.’
‘I see,’ Oliver said heavily.
‘Would you sell the car for me? I called into Neil Brennan’s but he was too busy to deal with me.’
‘I’ll take care of that for you,’ Oliver said, and she felt even more of a heel, if that was possible. Why didn’t he tell her to fuck off out of his life and leave him alone? Why did he have to be so decent? She’d never experienced the kindness of men until she’d met Oliver, she thought unhappily, as she thanked her husband and hung up. There was nothing else to keep her here now; she might as well go home and book a flight for herself. The longer she stayed here, the worse she’d feel about herself, if it was possible to feel any worse, she thought dispiritedly as she eased out into the traffic and headed for home.
* * *
‘Ah, Oliver, how’s it going? I saw Noreen here the other day, but I was dealing with a fella and she must have been in a hurry, she didn’t wait.’ Neil put on his best hail-fellow-well-met voice as he advanced on the builder, hand outstretched. Oliver Flynn was a good customer – he wouldn’t like to lose him.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ Oliver said dryly.
‘So what can I do for you?’ Neil rubbed his hands. ‘Is there something wrong with Noreen’s car?’
‘Not a thing. She wants to sell it, will you have a look at it there and make me an offer?’
‘Is it a trade-in?’ Neil couldn’t help the note of anticipation in his voice.
‘Nope.’
‘Oh.’ He couldn’t hide his surprise or disappointment. What was she selling her car for if she wasn’t getting a new one? Or was she getting a new one elsewhere? He couldn’t help but wonder.
‘Have you had any offers from anyone else?’ he pretended to be casual as he walked around the car and gave the tyres a little kick.
‘No.’ Oliver was a man of few words sometimes, Neil thought irritably.
‘Oh! OK so.’ Neil sat in the car and turned on the ignition. It was in good nick, and well cared for. He’d have no trouble making a few bob profit on it.
‘Nine thousand Euro.’ He eyeballed Oliver.
‘Is that your best offer, Neil? Because if it is, I’ll try Jenkins in Navan where she bought it.’
‘Nine fifty.’ Neil grimaced.
‘Ten,’ Oliver said firmly. Neil knew there was no arguing with him. Best to keep him on-side for future sales.
‘Done.’ Neil held out his hand and Oliver gave him a firm shake.
‘Come into the office and I’ll get Carol to do the paperwork.’
‘Carol?’ Oliver looked surprised.
Neil reddened. ‘Heather doesn’t work here any more.’
‘Oh, right, I forgot. I saw her in Fred’s a while back,’ Oliver said awkwardly.
‘Easy come, easy go,’ Neil said jocularly. Oliver didn’t look too impressed, in fact he looked downright dour.
‘Are you thinking of changing your own car, yet?’ Neil changed tack.
‘Naw.’ Oliver folded his arms across his chest and waited for the young girl at the desk to fill out the forms while Neil wrote the cheque.
‘That’s my spending money for New York gone,’ he joked as he handed the cheque to Oliver.
‘Off to New York, are you? Enjoy it,’ Oliver said politely. Neil gave up. Oliver was not in the mood for idle chit-chat, and there was no point in pushing it. He was sorry he hadn’t hung out for nine fifty.
‘Tell Noreen if she’s looking for anything special I’ll see her right,’ he said to Oliver after the paperwork was finished.
‘Will do,’ Oliver said and marched on.
‘Moody bugger,’ Neil muttered as he went back into his own office. He was restless. He wanted to be in New York right this minute. He’d emailed Lorna to tell her of his impending arrival and that the hotel was booked and she’d just sent back a one word email saying ‘great’. Talk about keeping a fella on his toes. It should be the other way around. With his mind only half on the job, Neil sat down to attend to the paperwork for Noreen Flynn’s car.
39
‘Would you like me to come over and find a place with you?’ Oliver lifted Noreen’s bags out of the car and hoisted them on to a trolley. ‘I can take a week off next week if you want,’ he offered.
Noreen took a deep breath. His offer was tempting. There was something so solid and reliable about Oliver. It was easy to repose in his strength and be minded. But it wasn’t fair on him, she admitted. As long as he felt linked to and responsible for her he couldn’t get on with his own life.
‘I really appreciate your offer, Oliver, you’re very kind to me, but you’re not responsible for me and you never were. I have to stand on my own two feet and accept my responsibilities. I’ll be fine in London. I’ve got some very good friends there and I know when I tell Rajiv about the baby he will be very concerned to do the right thing for the child. Don’t feel in any way that you have to do things for me. You’ve done more than enough,’ she said earnestly.
‘As long as you’re sure,’ he said gruffly as he strode off pushing the trolley, with her trying to keep up with his long strides. He lifted her cases on to the check-in desk, where, fortunately, there was no queue, and when she had her boarding card they stepped away and he slanted a glance at her as if unsure what to do next.
‘Would you like a coffee or anything?’ he asked politely. Noreen shook her head. ‘Oliver,’ she blurted, ‘if you don’t go now, I’m going to start crying.’
‘Don’t do that, woman,’ he said hastily. She managed a laugh at the look of horror on his face.
‘Oh Oliver, Oliver, I’ll never meet a man like you again.’ She took his hand and held it to her cheek, then brought it to her lips and kissed his callused palm. ‘I wish it had been different,’ she said. ‘Will you just answer me one thing?’
He looked at her warily. ‘If I can.’
Noreen took a deep breath. ‘Did you ever love me, Oliver?’
He blushed a dull red, mortified at her question, and looked away.
‘Did you, Oliver?’ she persisted.
‘I suppose I did,’ he said.
Noreen sighed. Suppose! That had always been the problem. There should be no supposing about it. Even now he couldn’t say emphatically, ‘Yes, I loved you.’
‘Oliver, we should sort out a divorce eventually to leave us both free, but just let me give you one word of advice for the future. When you do fall in love, and you will, don’t wait for the woman to ask you to marry her. You do the asking, and that way she’ll never be wondering if she’s loved,’ Noreen said with a hint of acerbity in her voice. ‘And try and spend a bit of time with her; time is the most precious gift you can give to someone.’
‘Don’t be wasting your breath, woman, it’s not going to happen,’ he growled, irritated by her remarks. ‘By the way, I lodged 25,000 Euro into your account. When I sell the house I’ll send you the rest of your share.’
‘God Almighty, Oliver, there was no need for that! I certainly wasn’t expecting it.’ Noreen stared at him, horrified. ‘I’m not a moneygrabber, Oliver. I don’t feel you owe me anything. I’m the one who behaved badly.’
‘Don’t talk like that,’ he frowned. ‘Whatever you think, I do have feelings for you and I’m not going to turn my back on you.’
‘Oh Oliver, you make me feel like a heel,’ she said forlornly as they walked towards the security check.
‘That’s enough of that now, Noreen,’ he said in his best no-nonsense tone and she smiled in spite of herself.
‘Yes, Oliver,’ she said meekly. They stopped at the barrier and he turned to her and put his arms around her. She nestled into his strong, hard chest and felt the steady beat of his heart under his shirt. They hugged tightly, unable to speak, then parted and walked away in different directions. Crying, Noreen showed the security guard her boarding card and walked into the security area without a backward glance. She was on her own now, but that was her own choice. She could have stayed under the mantle of her husband’s protection but that would have been cowardly and unfair. To have found a man of his strength and integrity was a rare blessing. If only it hadn’t gone so disastrously wrong.
* * *
So that was the end of it. Oliver clenched his jaws tight as a deep, painful sadness smote him. He felt a complete and utter failure. The prospect of a long lonely life ahead of him was daunting. He missed Noreen around the house. It was horrible going home to an empty house after a day’s work. He had taken her a bit for granted, he supposed. If he was honest with himself, he’d deserved her crack at him about spending time with whatever new woman he fell in love with. Where did Noreen get her notions from? He glowered as he passed through the automatic doors at the exit. How could he even consider going with another woman with all his flaws? Sterility, impo
tence, who’d want him? And besides, he wasn’t setting himself up for another fall. He never wanted to experience what he’d experienced with Noreen again.
It hurt that she was so determined to start afresh in London. He’d offered to just get on with things and he thought that was pretty fair of him, but she wasn’t having it. She really did want to leave. She wasn’t prepared to fight for their marriage. She’d given up so easily, it hurt. For better or worse had meant nothing to her, he thought bitterly as he dropped his coins into the parking machine. Well, he’d just have to get on with things. And putting the house on the market was first on his priorities. It was too lonely living there on his own. It held too many memories.
He’d better tell Cora too. She was giving out yards about Noreen being away ‘minding her sick friend’. He might as well get that ordeal over and done with. Cora would want him to go and live with her, but he’d have to stick to his guns there. He didn’t mind looking after her, doing her shopping and running her here and there, but he was not going to live at home again, no matter what pressure she put on him. With a heart as heavy as a lead brick, Oliver drove out of Dublin Airport wishing he was going anywhere but home.
* * *
‘You’re splitting up! She’s going to live in London! Why?’ Cora Flynn couldn’t believe her ears. Although she’d never liked her daughter-in-law, she’d never foreseen her and Oliver ending their marriage. Shock was her main emotion.
Oliver thrust his hands into the pockets at the back of his jeans. ‘Ma, it was my fault we couldn’t have a baby and we weren’t getting on so well. It’s the best thing,’ he said resignedly.
‘Well, I don’t think so. Couldn’t you have adopted? You just don’t up and leave your husband like that. Has she no consideration for your feelings?’ Cora exclaimed indignantly. ‘What kind of a wife is she at all?’
‘That’s enough, Ma. Whatever differences Noreen and I have are between us,’ Oliver said sharply and Cora frowned. Even though that one had upped and left him he was still ready to defend her.
Two For Joy Page 37