by Grace Risata
BEEP.
“I asked you a question and you answered it. Did you forget the game?”
What game? Did I know the rules? I can’t focus on his trick questions when I’m trying to decide which film will be more entertaining.
BEEP.
“Alyce. What the fuck are you doing? We’re playing the game from last night. I ask a question, you answer, and then you ask a question. Are you not alone? Am I interrupting something more important?”
Holy shit. Duh. How could I forget the game? Hmm. By my count, he just asked me five questions. That literally left me with a shit ton of options.
“I did not forget the game. I’m trying to decide which porn movie to watch. I am alone. You are not interrupting anything. I’ve just earned five questions from you. Get ready, asshole.”
RING.
What the hell? Why is he calling me now? The texting game was fun.
“Hello,” I said, making sure it was a statement and not a question.
“Hi.”
“Why did you call me?”
“Am I not allowed to call you?”
“We were texting and not talking on the phone. Why didn’t you text me back?”
“I was hoping you might ask me a dirty question that required me to touch myself. I figured this would free up my hands. Besides I like the sound of your voice.”
“Let me guess…you need it to lull you to sleep?”
“Is that a question? I think that counts as a question. Yes, I need your voice to put me to sleep.”
“I think I still have five questions left. Quit letting me save up so many at once. This is getting confusing.”
“Ask the damn things already, Alyce. I haven’t got all night.”
“Should I watch the porn movie with the hitchhiker who bangs a vampire or the billionaire who screws the cleaning lady?”
“Hmm. Whichever chick has bigger tits…watch that one.”
“Are you a breast man?” Then there’s really no reason he’d be with me. I have tiny boobs.
“I have an appreciation for every single body part of a beautiful woman. I do have a preference for a nice, tight ass though. Your ass is spectacular, Alyce. I could bounce a quarter off that thing.”
Good to know. I think I have three questions left.
“Did you beat the shit out of Dummy Dan tonight?”
“Um…yeah. His head might not be attached to his body anymore.”
“Do you have any kids?”
I was hoping I could sneak that in there. While I did try and keep things light with Dixon, so as not to pry too much, I felt like there were things I should know. Especially since we had sex twice and he suddenly called me out of the blue. Things were progressing. Sort of.
“No.”
Ah. So I only got one word answers to serious questions. That’s a damn shame.
“Am I the only person you’re fucking right now?” I asked, burning up my last question.
In for a penny, in for a pound. I like to weigh ‘worst case scenario’ options before I do anything dangerous. The worst case scenario here, is that he’ll hang up on me. Big whoop. I can handle it.
“Yes. That’s all you get. Now we’re back on even footing and it’s my turn to ask a question. Have you ever gotten off in a position besides missionary?”
“Yes. Last night.” I had a feeling he meant before him, but I wasn’t going to give the fucker the satisfaction of a proper answer. Better learn how to ask the right questions, Dixon.
“What was the best day of your life?” I asked.
“I haven’t had it yet. Have you ever been in love?” he asked a bit dreamily.
What the motherfuck? Where had that little beauty come from?
“No. Do you have a girlfriend?” I wonder how long it would take for him to realize I was asking serious questions and then decide to stop answering.
“No. I’m an asshole, in case you hadn’t noticed that yet. What about you?” Dixon replied in somewhat of a faraway voice.
“Hmm. I’m probably an asshole too.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he mumbled.
“What did you mean?”
“You know what I meant.”
This line of questioning is getting us nowhere fast and I’m losing my patience.
“I don’t have a boyfriend. My last sexual encounter with another person was six months ago. I went to a bar with my friend because she was looking for her sister. In case you didn’t know it, Kassie has a twin named Kennedy that works with me. Anyway, I hit it off with the bartender. He gave me one too many vodkas and we fooled around.”
“And?” he grunted as though not enjoying my story, but at least he sounded more coherent.
“I was not the only one that drank too much that night. It didn’t go very far due to his inability to rise to the situation. Happy now?”
“Very. I haven’t had a girlfriend since I left to start my first tour. It’s not an ideal situation to have someone at home to worry about when you’re an ocean away. I tend to be the jealous type and I can’t sit on an army base, helpless, worrying that my lady is screwing around on me. You can’t have unnecessary distractions. That’s how you get killed. Happy now?”
Something about him seemed a bit off. The man was sharing way too much information. But he wasn’t done yet…
“My last sexual encounter was three months ago. It was a random hook-up in a bar bathroom. It didn’t go well at all. I never finished the job because it didn’t really get started in the first place,” he confessed readily with no shame at all. What man talked about his sexual failures so openly? Something wasn’t right here.
I paused to take stock of the situation without going any further. Why was he telling me all this? Why were we bearing our souls to each other? I’d swear he was drunk if I didn’t know better. Unless…
“Are you on something?”
“I took a few Valium. Don’t get pissed at me, okay? The judge sent me to a doctor and he prescribed a very low dose to calm me down. I’m supposed to take them ‘as needed,’ but when the bottle runs out then I’m done. No more. No soup for you,” he said, slurring his words ever so slightly.
“Are you so doped up on tranquilizers that you’re quoting Seinfeld?”
“I have a high tolerance for drugs, Alyce. I’m just a little bit relaxed. That’s all. I haven’t taken any until tonight. There were only ten in the bottle anyway. Just enough to get me through the night until I could see the court ordered shrink. I didn’t use any of them…for spite. Fuck them. So I took four now. Because I had a day. A bad day. A day with pregnant whores marrying other people that are not my friend, Jack. Not Jack. It should have been Jack.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I persisted. “I can come over if you want.”
“I always want you, Alyce. Especially when you stick that hot little ass in my face. But don’t come over tonight. I’m getting tired. You make me relax. Just…don’t give up on me, okay? I think…I think I might need you.”
Need me for what?
I began to ask that question, when I heard snoring on the other end of the phone. At least he’s safely in his apartment, sleeping off his Valium, and not going anywhere to beat up people that are alive and not training dummies.
Fuck.
How had my life veered so off course?
Chapter Thirteen
Things had gotten far too intense for my liking. I felt like I was somehow enabling Dixon, but I couldn’t figure out what exactly that meant. Was I not trying hard enough to legitimately help with his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? Should I quit shoving sex in his face and instead reprimand him more when he popped pills?
I honestly felt like I was in over my head, so I came up with a new plan for Thursday. I was going to walk into the veteran’s center, hold my head high, and focus on ‘Operation: No Sex.”
I knew I’d see Kassie because I got a quick text from Kennedy last night explaining the situation. Evidently the guy with the dry cle
aning business and the dude who looked like Thor had a tiny run in with each other and things did not go well at all. This was the main topic of conversation at work today as we gossiped in between patients.
“Let me get this straight,” Nina pondered, trying to wrap her head around the situation. “Your sister was seeing one man, but then she met another guy and decided she liked him better. But the first dude doesn’t want to take ‘no’ for an answer?”
“Yes,” Kennedy confirmed. “This isn’t the first time that’s happened, actually. Kassie is very…charismatic…and she gets her fair share of male attention. It’s all fine and dandy at the beginning, but then she gets bored and moves on. Some of them aren’t very appreciative when she breaks things off. I really like Brad, the newest one.”
“Is that because he has cool friends for you to date?” Nina asked subtly, causing me to choke on the giant gulp of water I’d just taken. Damn. I guess she’s still bitter about Kennedy canceling on her girls’ day out. Note to self: Nina holds a grudge like a pro. I can respect that.
Kennedy seemed taken aback as she replied, “As a matter of fact, yes, Brad does have a brother that I’ve been hanging out with. It’s nothing serious yet, but we really seem to have clicked. How did you know? Do I have a glow or something?”
“Yes, it’s like you’re flushed with the radiance of new love. Or you have a fever,” Nina replied, giving me a wink when Kennedy wasn’t looking.
“Tell us more about this guy,” I urged innocently. “Is he the one?”
“It’s too soon to tell, but it’s sort of like fate…because Brad and Brady are twins, too. You’ll never understand what it’s like to be a twin unless you are one. We live in a whole different world. That’s why things just seem to work with Brady. He knows what I’m going through.”
“What exactly are you going through?” I asked. She has an identical person to swap body parts with should the need arise, not to mention an entire extra closet of clothes to borrow. Let’s not forget the built-in best friend part of it all. That sounds pretty damn good to me.
“You know, stuff. Don’t feel left out, Alyce,” she reassured me sympathetically. “Just because Kassie and I seem to be hitting it off with these guys doesn’t mean you need to be down on yourself. Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll find someone special one of these days.”
I was about to reply to that with a very snarky retort, but Mrs. Conway entered the room to interrupt our deeply complex conversation and order everyone back to work.
“Kennedy, there’s a patient waiting in exam room two. Alyce, please do your job for once and quit treating the work day like it’s your personal tea party.”
“Please accept my humblest apologies, ma’am,” I offered, lowering my eyes with mock guilt. “I guess you would prefer to be the one to teach Nina the filing system so she knows how to categorize patients in the appropriate order?”
The old bag narrowed her eyes and then frowned at me.
“Carry on then, ladies. Clerical work is beneath me. I have lives to save.”
Kennedy scurried off to follow Mrs. Conway, leaving Nina and I alone.
“Do you like it here, Alyce?” my co-worker asked, making a disgusted face.
“It’s lovely. I get to do the clerical work for a life saver!” I declared, clutching my chest. “Can you think of any better profession?”
“I don’t think I’ve seen anyone brought back from the brink of death yet,” she said, shaking her head. “And who the heck names one son Brad and the other son Brady?”
“I know, right? Like you couldn’t think of another name, so you just tacked a ‘y’ on at the end.”
The phone began to ring and we really did have to get back to work. I spent the rest of the afternoon daydreaming about winning the lottery, quitting my job, and living on a tropical island staffed only with hunky twins that had rhyming names. That led me to imagining Dixon romping on the beach naked.
It was going to be quite difficult to keep my vow to cut off the dirty play time and focus on Operation: No Sex. Let’s see how well that plan works.
********
“Alyce! Hey, Alyce! Wait up!” Kassie called out after me as I breezed by her desk in an effort to get to Dixon and check up on him. I hadn’t spoken to him since the whole valium popping episode of last night, and I wanted to make sure he was feeling better today.
“What’s up?” I asked, wondering if she was actually going to apologize for her behavior the last time we clashed.
“I really want to talk to you about something. Do you have a minute?”
“Sure.”
“You always give such amazing advice, so I thought you might help me with a major crisis I’m having. I know you were worried because I haven’t been at work for a few days, but my life has totally exploded. Brad and Tyler have nearly gotten into a fist fight over me…and I just don’t know which one to choose.”
Are you fucking kidding me right now? That’s what she wants to talk about?
“As I’m sure you know,” she continued, oblivious to the fact that I didn’t give a shit, “Brad is the one that whisked me away for a midweek adventure, he’s drop dead gorgeous, and he has a twin brother for Kennedy. So, it’s like a perfect fairy tale. But on the other hand…Tyler owns his own dry cleaning business and he’s totally loaded and wants to buy me anything my heart desires. He’s also super romantic and has a big fancy lake house a few hours away. I’m so torn. Let me tell you more about them, so you can help me decide who I should choose…”
I put up a hand to stop her, knowing exactly what was coming next. The last time I got sucked into listening to a ‘Kassie Crisis,’ it evolved into a three hour phone call where I didn’t get a word in edgewise. I’m not making that mistake ever again.
“I know you have a hard choice ahead of you, but I have faith that you’ll follow your heart and make the right decision. You’re a smart girl. You’ll figure it out.”
I gave her a mega watt smile to signal that I had nothing else to say about her predicament. That did not go over very well with the drama queen.
“That’s all you have to say? What’s the rush?”
“I have to check on Dixon. Today is Thursday and I don’t want him going mental on Mr. Brown.”
Kassie stared at me unhappily and then shared, “His case worker didn’t show up because of some emergency with a different client. Dixon has already put in his required time today, so I have no clue why he’s still here. Why do you care so much anyway? I would think that helping me would be more important than worrying about some stranger you just met. What is wrong with you lately, Alyce? You haven’t been a very good friend.”
Says the poster child for kindness and love. Pfft.
Looking deeply into her eyes and resting a hand on her shoulder, I did what she wanted and gave my opinion.
“Kassie, there’s only one question you need to be asking yourself. When you’re with Brad, do you think about Tyler? When you’re with Tyler, do you think about Brad? Which one stays in your thoughts? When you can answer that, you’ll know who you’re meant to be with.”
Her mouth hung open like I just blew her mind, and I took the opportunity to walk away and check on the man I came to see.
Instead of sitting in the desk, he stood and stared out the window. I coughed as I approached so I wouldn’t startle him. I read somewhere that you’re not supposed to sneak up on anyone with PTSD because they don’t react very well.
“No Mr. Brown today?” I asked quietly.
“Nope.”
“So you don’t have to stick around?” I wonder why he would remain here a second longer than necessary considering how much he claimed to hate the place.
He shrugged and replied, “I can leave whenever I want. Why?”
“I’m in the mood for a road trip. Are you in?”
He perked up and nodded with no further discussion.
That was easier than I thought. I figured I might have to drag him out of here or answ
er twenty questions about where we were going.
I hoped it wouldn’t look too suspicious to Kassie and Debbie that we were leaving together, but I really had no options. Let them think whatever the hell they wanted.
Once we hit the parking lot, I popped on my sunglasses and instantly smiled when I saw my princess in all her sparkling glory.
“This is your fucking car?” Dixon asked in astonishment.
“Hell yeah,” I replied. He was referring to my bright yellow Mustang Coupe. It was a few years old and it had a lot of miles, but she was all mine. Well…I guess technically part mine and part belonging to the bank because she wasn’t even close to being paid off yet. Just another reason I needed to keep my job. Cars weren’t cheap.
I unlocked my freshly polished ride and got behind the wheel, only to be met with more questions from Dixon.
“You actually know how to drive a stick shift?”
“No, I’m going to grind the gears until the clutch falls off and we’re stranded here forever.”
Effortlessly pulling out of the parking lot and wowing him with my slick driving skills, we were on our merry way.
“Who taught you how to drive a manual transmission? Why didn’t you just buy an automatic?” he asked, staring at the instrument panel cluster as though it would somehow magically come to life and speak. Maybe he expected the car to be some sort of super robot able to drive itself, because heaven forbid a lady might actually know how to operate a vehicle.
“I’ve been driving stick since I was fourteen. My grandpa had a sweet vintage Mustang fastback. She was a nineteen sixty-seven, black on black, and a real beauty. I learned to drive with that car. That’s the reason I got my own Mustang. It’s nowhere near as awesome as my grandpa’s, but it’s the best I can do on a budget.”
“He taught a fourteen year old girl to drive with a classic car? What if you would have wrecked it? What did your father say?”