by Laura Acton
Recognizing her defensiveness, his voice lowered with age-old hurt, “Lexa, I didn’t mean anything by it. I understand what it’s like to be ostracized for being different.”
Lexa sucked in a breath and blew it out. “Sorry to bite at you. I know your stepfather is a total jerk.” She turned and gave Loki a quick smile. “You’re perfect just the way you are. Your choice of movies is the only thing I question about you.”
Loki chuckled. “What’s wrong with my movies? They’re awesome.”
Grinning, Lexa only arched a brow at Loki then refocused on their task. “Have you sighted Dan?”
“No, but he runs like a friggin rabbit. He might be five miles away by now in any direction.” Loki continued to scan. “Do you think that’s why Dan is zombified?”
“What? That he’s gay?” Lexa didn’t believe for one second Dan was gay. Maybe bi, but not gay. He knew too well how to pleasure a woman.
“No, not that. But if he lost someone he cared about, someone close, it might explain his death warmed over appearance.”
Lexa considered Loki’s notion as she kept one eye on the road and one out for Dan. “Yeah, losing someone you care about, whether a lover, a friend, a sibling, or a parent can affect people in vastly different ways. You noticed he’s looking like crap lately, too?”
Loki snorted. “You’d have to be blind not to. He’s lost weight, not that he had any to lose before. There wasn’t an inch of fat on him when he started.”
As she scanned, Lexa kicked herself. Yes, she’d been blind to the fact until the dinner with Boss. The next day she took a critical look at Dan noting a remarkable change from the man she met in the bar three months ago.
Without viewing his entire his body, she could tell he was thinner. She remembered the contours of him from the one-night they spent together. Loki was right. Dan had zero extra fat to spare—now too thin.
Lexa also noted Dan’s intriguing, sapphire blue eyes held no spark, only dull and empty. No, not empty. More like hollow, adrift, lost. No, none of those fit quite right, either. Then it hit her.
His eyes appeared the same as hers a little over four years ago on the day her father turned his back on her, discarding her heart like trash, and abandoning her. Dan’s eyes are forsaken.
Lexa bit her bottom lip recalling how callous she treated him. I’m a profiler. How did I miss something so significant? How?
The annoyingly truthful devil on her shoulder found the courage to speak. “Because you want Dan and you can’t have him. He’s a threat to your carefully crafted world. If you break the rules, you will be forsaken again. You will lose your chosen family. So, you put all your energy into ignoring him and pushing him away. You’re afraid to be hurt and lose everything for a man.”
She wanted to argue with her devil that she didn’t want Dan, but couldn’t because she would lose. Her musings were interrupted as Loki shouted, “There he is! Holy smokes, he’s still running full tilt! How are we gonna stop him?”
Lexa spotted Dan. “I don’t think we can. We follow him until he runs out of gas.” She switched her headset on. “Boss, we located Dan. We’re gonna follow in the truck. After he’s run himself out, we’ll bring him back.”
Nick responded, “Copy. If you encounter any problems, contact me.”
“Copy,” Lexa said and maneuvered into the other lane as she flicked on the lights.
Still amazed at Dan’s speed and stamina, Loki asked, “How long do you think he’ll run?”
Lexa shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out.”
Running from Demons
33
October 19
Outside Fire Stick Grill
Jarmal overheard the tall, bald officer talking to the sergeant and he watched two members of TRF race to the SUV to go after Dan. Reeling inside with the news of Brody’s death. Dan must be a wreck. Where are the rest of Dan’s unit? Blaze, Winds, Patch, and Mason would, without doubt, be there to help him through the loss of Brody.
He never met a tighter unit. True brothers in every sense of the word. They all grieved for Ripsaw, and they helped Dan through his grief. Dan had been devastated he was unable to save Ripsaw. Shortly after Ripsaw’s death Jarmal shipped out and had lost contact with all of them. Damn, Brody’s dead. The world is a sadder place. That guy was full of light and music.
Jarmal waited as the TRF sergeant moved toward him. Concerned for Dan, he wanted to talk to him about Dan.
Nick approached the man Dan spoke to before running off. He muted his headset, not wanting to capture this conversation on the auto-scripter. Nick came to a stop and said, “I’m Nick Pastore. You spoke with my officer—”
“—With Dan. I’m Jarmal Tate. I didn’t mean to upset him. He’s taking Brody’s death hard. Did he die recently?”
Unaware of when or how Brody passed away, Nick replied with a question of his own. “You know Dan?”
Jarmal nodded. “Yeah, I was a cook in the Army. Met Dan and his unit years ago. Impressive bunch of guys. Took care of one another. I’m surprised to see Dan. Happy but surprised. I was going to invite him and Brody to dinner at my restaurant. Make their favorites.”
Nick considered whether he should pry, but decided he needed some insight to Dan in order to help him. “About Brody, were they lovers?”
Jarmal burst out laughing, deep from the gut the sound carried across the street. When Jarmal got a hold of himself, he shook his head. “No, not at all. Brody and Dan are straighter than straight. But their relationship was closer than any brothers I’ve ever seen. I would go so far as to say their connection was more powerful than mine and my three brothers and we’re tight.”
“Brody was Dan’s brother?” Nick asked somewhat bewildered.
Shaking his head then switching to a nod, Jarmal answered, “You ever been in the military?”
“No.”
Jarmal rubbed his jaw. “Well, Dan’s unit was like a family. Brody referred to them as brothers of the heart and soul. Those two, well, they had something more … something extraordinary. I can’t really explain, but one of them without the other, that worries me.”
Nick understood completely. He built a new family out of his team. Jon and Bram were brothers. Loki and Ray sons. Lexa, well, she was the daughter of his heart, someone rare and special. He possessed a deeper connection with her than with the others. “I understand what you are saying, chosen family. Bonds can be stronger and more durable than natural families. So Brody dying would have a profound effect on Dan?”
“Yeah, yeah, it would. I’m worried about him. He looks awful. Almost as dreadful as the first time I laid eyes on him. Brody wheeled him into the mess tent after being released from the hospital. Made Dan a cake and a wee burger. The guys and I had our work cut out for us. He needed to regain so much weight … basically skin and bones. He’s too thin now. Dan needs to eat.”
Taken aback by the wealth of information in Jarmal’s short statement. Had Dan looked worse than this? Nick wondered about those scars again.
Jarmal said, “I heard you send two of your officers after Dan. If you wouldn’t mind, would you come inside a moment? If you have time, I want to make him a treat. One I’m sure Dan will wolf down. I developed many of my recipes to aid in his recovery and whip him back into fighting shape.”
Knowing Jon would be with NRB and Bram would be at the emergency room for a while, Nick nodded. Perhaps he could gain additional insight on Dan and discover useful information to help him. Nick followed Jarmal into the Fire Stick Grill.
Running from Demons
Sweat streamed down Dan’s face and drenched his uniform. He ignored the stinging in his eyes as he ran. He paid no attention to his surroundings as the hounds from hell nipped at his heels. In his fog, he dodged blurred objects. The yells and curses as he bumped into people never penetrated his ears.
His mind stuck on his failures. Everyone dies. Sara, Brody, Ripsaw, Buzz, Dutch, Yankee, Shy, Gambit, Unicorn, and now Bram. Bram was shot because I didn’
t fire. Brody is dead because I did fire.
Dan didn’t hear the blaring horns or piercing siren, nor smell the smoking treads of eighteen tires skidding to a frantic stop. He didn’t feel the impact as a rock-hard object slammed into him and sent him to the asphalt. When his world came back into focus, Dan found himself flat on his back, peering up into the animated and concerned face of Loki.
Loki’s voice came out slightly high pitched and his eyes wide with fear as he looked down at Dan. “Are you deliberately trying to kill yourself?”
“What?” Dazed and surprised, Dan registered he and Loki lay in the middle of the road with cars halted around them at skewed angles.
After lifting himself off of Dan, Loki knelt beside him. “Didn’t you notice the huge-assed truck bearing down on you? Almost squashed you like a bug!”
Turning his head to the right, Dan noted a jack-knifed semi and skid marks marking its rapid stop halfway into the intersection. His eyes flicked to the strobing lights of the TRF SUV noting they reflected on its open passenger door and other vehicles, completing a surreal scene. Aw Crap!
Lexa hopped out, her heart battering the inside of her chest. She came to a stop next to Loki and Dan with her feet shoulder width apart and hands on her hips. Ready to lay into both of them. Dan for running blindly into the path of a semi. Loki because he jumped out of a moving SUV to tackle Dan and knock him out of the way of said semi.
Her voice clipped with anger, “If you two are done playing in traffic, I suggest you haul your sorry carcasses to the truck now.” Noticing the crowd gathering and needing to defuse the situation, she said, “Next time you guys want to train in capturing a fleeing subject, you are confined to the track field. Now move!”
Loki stood and put out a hand to Dan as he quipped, “Oooh, you’re in trouble with Lexa.”
Bewildered, Dan robotically reached for the offered hand. He winced as Loki grasped his hand. Loki is joking. Lexa is pissed. Why?
Lexa inspected Dan. Soaking wet and not quite with it. She reached out and took his arm to guide him to their vehicle. It surprised her when Dan came willingly. She expected him to pull away.
Loki regarded Dan for a moment as Lexa led him to the suburban. Then he glanced around and cringed. Holy smokes, I jumped out of a moving vehicle and tackled Dan. If Jon ever finds out my ears will be ringing for months from his raging about unacceptable risk. He decided he needed to talk Lexa and Dan into keeping this between the three of them. He wasn’t even going to tell Ray because he would lay into him too.
He trotted over to the SUV, hopped into the front passenger seat, and switched off the sirens and lights.
After closing the door to the backseat where she put Dan, Lexa resumed her position behind the wheel, put the vehicle in gear, and did a U-turn. She glanced at Loki briefly. “This stays between us.”
Loki let out a nervous laugh. “I was thinking the exact same thing.”
“Don’t you ever do anything so asinine again!” Lexa ordered.
With his index finger, Loki crossed his left chest. “Cross my heart. No more jumping out of moving vehicles.”
“Loki, you’re bleeding!” Lexa exclaimed spotting blood on Loki’s hand.
Examining his hands, Loki flipped them this way and that. “Not mine.” He turned in his seat and inspected Dan who sat silently with a glazed expression like his mind lurked someplace else. “Dan, are you hurt?”
Lexa glanced in the rearview mirror when he didn’t answer. “Dan, where are you injured?”
In a disconnected voice, Dan replied, “It’s nothing.”
“What’s nothing?” Loki eyed Dan carefully not finding any blood.
“Knuckles.”
Loki scrutinized Dan. The black gloves appeared suspiciously wet. “We’re gonna have to take a gander at those when we return to HQ.”
“I’m fine.”
Lexa captured Dan’s eyes in the mirror. “That may be, but your hands will still need to be checked out.”
Dan turned and stared out the window. He didn’t care anymore. He was finished at TRF now. He failed to take the shot. Sergeant Winter wouldn’t want him anymore once he found out how seriously he screwed up.
He would go to headquarters, receive his dress down from everyone who wanted a piece of him, pack his bag, then go to his apartment to retrieve his ivory gripped pistol. He would leave this world tonight regardless of whether Brody released him from his vow. He could endure no more pain.
Grace Medical Center – ER Waiting Room
Ray paced, waiting for news on Bram. The team spent many hours over the years in various emergency rooms waiting to find out Bram’s condition. Luckily, he never had a truly life-threatening injury, though he had taken a fair number of hits to the vest. Bram seemed to be a walking tank.
The problem is, Bram isn’t a tank. He is flesh and blood with a family who needs him. Ray kicked himself for not saying something before Bram and Boss entered the room. I brought a shield with me. I should’ve handed it off to Bram before he entered with Boss.
This is my fault. Well, partially mine, part Bram’s, Dan’s, and Boss’ too. Boss shouldn’t have let Bram go in without the shield either. This isn’t like them. The team doesn’t operate this way. Jon drills safety into our heads every time we train, so it becomes second nature. So, why is today different?
It would be easy to blame this all on the rookie. They had been doing a lot of that lately. Something went wrong … it automatically became Dan’s fault. But was it? Ray didn’t think so. Had they become complacent? They had so many critical calls end successfully that they might’ve begun to develop a superman complex. Bram exiting the exam area stopped his train of thought. “What’s the verdict?”
“I’m fine. Nothing cracked, only bruised and a little sore.” Bram adjusted the vest he carried on his arm and winced.
Ray reached out and took Bram’s vest. “Let me carry this. Least I can do since you’re buying the first round tonight.”
Bram groaned. “Kellie says we could’ve fully covered one of the girls’ college funds with all the rounds I’ve bought over the years.”
Ray chuckled. “Need to take a ballistics shield home tonight to protect yourself?”
“Haha. Not funny.” Bram sighed. “Jon’s gonna have some choice words regarding my screw up.”
“Ours … we all own a part,” Ray corrected.
“I didn’t take a shield. It’s my—”
Ray interrupted. “I didn’t give you the shield. Boss didn’t ensure you had one. Jon didn’t call out and tell me to go in and protect both of you after you went in without it. Loki didn’t pipe up either, and he was viewing us on the snake cam. This is a team failure. Why? I haven’t figured that out, but this surely isn’t only your fault.”
“Did they find Dan?” Bram asked.
“Yeah, Lexa and Loki are on their way back to HQ. Jon just left NRB. He said things went exceedingly fast when Gibbson showed up. Boss is busy with something and should be back about the time we arrive.”
As they exited the emergency room, Ray broached a touchy subject. “Why do you think Dan didn’t take the shot?”
Bram sighed. “Not sure. I have some theories, but I’m not ready to share them. I could be way off base and don’t want to put ideas in people’s heads. Let’s wait for debrief and see what Dan has to say. There might be a simple explanation, like his gun jammed. Everything happened so fast. Dan may not have had time to say anything.”
“Yeah, could be something along that vein. One reason we use two Zulu positions,” Ray said as they headed to the SUV.
NRB Office – Interview Room
Alone in the room long after Constable Hardy left, Agent Donner sat staring at the photos of James Digby. He focused on the pool of blood. Ruled suicide by cop. He didn’t dispute the judgment. Many people chose self-inflicted death. Though, many were pushed to do so.
Flashing images of grey matter and blood flying and splattering on the wall and in his face, r
an through his mind. The warm blood dripped down his forehead into his eyes. He wiped his face and gawked at the blood and goo on his hands. Dad was dead, and he was responsible. If he had not gotten into a fight at school over his mother, his father would’ve never committed suicide. All he needed was a weapon to end his life the same way. Blow his brains out in the middle of the night. Suicide.
Richard blinked and studied the picture again. Something shifted in his thinking. Sapphire blue eyes. Lost and devastated eyes. He glimpsed those eyes again today. It was lost eyes’ fault his dad’s brain matter ended up all over the room. He must pay. Too fast, too slow, he is a killer either way. Those sapphire eyes must witness the pain he caused. All I need is a gun then he’ll pay.
TRF HQ – Briefing Room
Lexa entered the room to find Jon and Boss waiting for the team. She blew out a long breath and headed right to Boss and sat down next to him. Her face remained calm but inside her thoughts whirled like a top. “Boss, we need to chat before Dan gets in here.”
Jon narrowed his eyes on Lexa. “Where’s Broderick? I thought you and Loki brought him in.”
“We did. Loki is taking care of Dan. That’s what I wanted to talk about. What the hell happened to his hands?” Lexa responded.
“How badly did he mess them up?” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jon attempted to alleviate an increasing thud as he recalled Dan slamming his fist.
“I’m unsure, but his gloves are soaked with blood. Loki took him to the locker room to clean them.”
Turning to Jon, Nick said, “You said he punched the brick wall.”
“Yeah, he did.” Jon blew out a breath. He was in a foul mood trying to keep a lid on his temper. This whole shebang … the errors, death, aftermath, and dealing with idiotic Donner gave him a pounding headache.
Ray and Bram strolled in noting Lexa, Nick, and Jon were the only ones in the room. Bram queried, “Where are Loki and Dan?”