by Christi Snow
She reached down below the waistband of his boxer briefs and wrapped her fingers around his generous length. She moved up and down him following the rhythm he was setting with his own fingers. The friction was driving him insane with need.
They had way too many clothes on for this. Obviously Cassie agreed because as he started to pull off her tank top, she ripped his boxer briefs off his body. As he lowered her panties down her legs, he took in their long, tanned, smooth length. She had a runner’s body, but still managed to maintain a gorgeously feminine amount of curves. As he looked over her beautiful body, his mouth started to water with the wonder of her. She was so damn gorgeous. He met her eyes and saw matching desire there. Her pupils were blackened with desire and her lips swollen from their kisses.
He laid her back against the mattress and slowly crawled his way back up her body pressing kisses along his way, starting at her feet, past her ankles. His hands curved around behind her toned tanned thighs, but he had to pause when he spotted her moist folds. He licked his lips. Cassie had been watching him as he progressed, breathing harshly, but when he licked his lips, she moaned. It was a temptation he couldn’t resist. He dipped his mouth in to taste. She even tasted like plums here. As he inserted his tongue into her, she met the thrusts of his tongue. When he flicked her clit, she shattered as her climax exploded within her.
He continued to lap at her while she rode the waves of ecstasy, but once the pulsing subsided; he continued his exploration up her body. He dipped his tongue into her belly button and caressed the side of her hip with a sprinkling of kisses while he fondled her breasts with his hands. Finally his mouth found the hard nubs of her nipples, and he could sense the fireworks building again.
She needed him inside her. While he laved her breasts with sensual kisses, Cassie fumbled one handed in the drawer of her side table and snagged a condom. Her other hand continued to stroke him up and down. She ripped open the foil packet and leaned up to roll the latex over him. She spread her thighs and drew him up her chest to look him in the eye. “Jake, oh God.” She could feel him nestled against her folds and it felt so right. “Jake, I need you. Now.” He could hear the desperate arousal in her voice.
Jake leaned down to kiss her and slowly, so slowly, started to enter her. As he felt her moist heat engulfing him, he couldn’t control the groan which tore from his chest. He watched her face as he entered. Her pupils dilated with passion and lust. Finally he was fully seated within her and it felt so good, so tight, so right. Jake took a deep breath to try to bring down the out of control feeling which meant this was going to end too soon if he didn’t find some semblance of calm. But when she shifted her hips up to meet him, all calm and control was gone. He couldn’t stop his body from acting on instinct and pulled almost completely out before slamming back into her….over and over again.
Cassie’s hips rose up to meet every thrust with equal passion. Jake felt the tingling start at the base of his spine which meant eruption was imminent, but he wasn’t going to come without her. He reached down between their bodies and tweaked her clit, once, twice, and then he felt her muscles start to contract around him as her control shattered and she screamed his name. Jake couldn’t hold off any longer as he levered into her spasming muscles. He groaned long and hard as his release shuddered.
Jake pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, while his breathing leveled out. He was in Heaven, but he was also in Hell. Damn, what had he just done?
After getting up to discard the condom, Jake crawled back into the bed. Cassie snuggled into his chest, but neither one of them said a word. He laid there calling himself all sorts of an idiot internally for about 15 minutes before he felt the wetness on his chest. She was crying. It was silent, but there was no denying she was crying.
The guilt assailed him. It was bad enough he’d let Chris die, but now he’d taken advantage of Cassie in her grief. He was the lowest of low and, even worse, he didn’t know how to fix it. He just caressed her bare back slowly up and down. How had things gotten so out of control? What the hell happened and how did he let it happen?
Finally, he felt Cassie relax into sleep, but Jake couldn’t force himself to fall back to sleep. He just laid there cursing himself in self-flagellation. He was the biggest sort of scum.
Finally, at 5:00 AM, he couldn’t handle the heaven of lying there with her in his arms any longer. It was wrong. It was wrong for the memory of Chris. It was wrong for his friendship with Chris. Hell, it was wrong for his friendship with Cassie.
He gently shifted her sleeping form out of his arms and got dressed. He went into the guest room and grabbed his duffle.
He stepped back into Cassie’s room and watched her sleep. She was so damn beautiful with her flaming red hair fanned out over her pillow. He found heaven for an hour last night, but it had cost him. Two weeks ago, he had two of the best friends a guy could ask for. One he’d let die. The other he’d taken advantage of in the worst possible way. He felt the tears well as he silently stalked over to the bed and gently brushed a kiss to her shoulder. “I’m sorry…so damn sorry,” he whispered to her, his voice shuddering and cracking with emotion. “Goodbye Cass,” he murmured into her hair.
As the front door clicked with a close, Cassie sat up in bed and pressed the pillow to her face. It smelled like Jake and she felt the tears stream down her face once more.
Chapter 9
Six Months Later
Jake fumbled to get the key in the lock, when he heard the phone ringing inside his apartment. Damn crutches. They made everything that much harder including getting his damn door open. Finally, the lock slid home and he limped over to the phone. He didn’t have time to look at the caller id, so he just picked it up, “Madsen here.”
“Jake? I was beginning to think you weren’t home, man.” Aw, damn. It was Colton. This was just the perfect fucking ending to a perfectly awful fucking day…make that month…hell, it had pretty much been a fucking awful six months.
“Hey, Colton. Sorry. I was just coming in the door and I’m on crutches, so it’s fairly slow going right now. What’s up?” He hadn’t talked to Colton in a few months. They may have all been friends, but without Chris and Cassie, his ties to Colton had disappeared.
“Crutches? What happened?”
“I landed wrong on a jump and broke my left tibia. Another week or so and I should be rid of the cast and the crutches. It can’t happen soon enough.”
Colton chuckled. “I hear you on that. Are you still able to drive?”
“No problem. It’s my left leg. Why?” Jake had a sinking feeling he wasn’t going to like where this conversation was going.
“Listen, Jake, I need a favor. Something’s going on with Cassie. I’d go home and check on her myself, but they’re about to ship me out on a deployment and it’s not a mission I can get out of. I know things haven’t been great between the two of you since the funeral, but I think she needs some help. Can you go check on her for me?”
Jake groaned inwardly. He wasn’t sure he could handle seeing Cassie yet. He missed her desperately, but that night haunted him.
“I wouldn’t ask, but I’m just getting a really bad vibe from her. This is her first Christmas since Chris died and she’s all alone. I didn’t know who else to call that I could trust. You know her. Anyone else, she could snowball them into believing whatever she wants them to. Whatever else you two have been, you’ve always been able to figure her out and convince her to do the right thing. I’m worried about her Jake. Something’s not right and it’s not just her grief over Chris.”
Jake closed his eyes and leaned his head up against the cabinet with a big sigh. “Yeah. No problem. I should be able to take leave for the weekend. I’m just doing desk jockey duty anyway, so it’s not like they’ll miss me. I’ll talk to my commander tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Jake. Believe me, I’m not requesting this lightly, but I’m worried about her. I’m getting a bad vibe and she’s all alone. She needs you, especial
ly now that Chris is gone. Whatever happened back in May…” He paused. “You two have been friends for over 20 years. I can’t imagine anything’s worth throwing that away. She needs you and I think you need her too.”
“Thanks, Colton. We’ll see.” But Jake had to wonder if Colton would still feel that way if he knew exactly what did happen. Not bloody likely. “I realize you’ll probably be out of communications while downrange, so I’ll send you an email if I figure out anything with Cass, okay?”
“Sounds good. Thanks Jake…and take care of that leg. No more bad jumps, kay?”
Jake chuckled. “You can count on it. Bye Colt.”
Chapter 10
The next day, Jake hobbled into the commander’s office and up to Sally’s desk. Sally was the 79th Rescue Squadron Commander’s secretary. She’d been on base forever and knew everyone. Jake guessed her age to be somewhere between fifty and one hundred years old and he couldn’t nail it down any closer than that. There were days she seemed ancient and she could scare the bejeezus out of the toughest of soldiers.
Today she seemed to be in a good mood, since she only scowled at him once as he hobbled up to her desk. Maybe the crutches mellowed her acidic attitude towards him. “What can I do for you today, Capt. Madsen?”
Jake looked towards the commander’s closed door. “I need to speak with Lt. Colonel Humphrey for a few minutes?”
She gave him the evil eye like he was there for nefarious reasons, but she nodded at him. “Sure. Let me see if he has time to talk to you right now.” She picked up the phone and spoke into it. “Colonel, Capt. Madsen is here to see you.” She nodded. “Okay, I’ll send him right in.” She looked at Jake. “He says you can come in.”
At that moment, the commander opened the door for him. He waved Jake into his office. “Hi, Jake. Have a seat. How’s the leg doing?” He glanced down at Jake’s cast.
“Fine, sir. The doc says the cast can probably come off late next week and then I can get out from behind a desk.”
The Colonel frowned at that and simply said, “Hmmm. So what can I do for you today?”
“I was actually wondering if I could use some of my leave for a long weekend, sir. I have a lot of it stored up and there’s a situation at home with a friend I need to check on. I was hoping I could take four days and be back by Tuesday.”
“Honestly, Jake, I think some leave would do you some good right now. You haven’t been the same since the Columbia incident and it’s affecting your work.”
Jake got a sinking feeling in his gut.
The Colonel continued, “That cast right there is indicative of the problem you’re facing. That accident wouldn’t have happened if you were here 100%.” The Colonel tapped his finger to the temple of his head. “I worry the next time you lose your concentration, it will end up being much worse for you or one of your teammates than simply a busted up leg. That’s not something I can accept. Instead of giving you four days, I’m giving you until the New Year. I know you have plenty of leave saved up. Take this month off, get away from here, get your leg healed and strengthened back up. You need to get your head screwed back on straight. You need to decide if the PJ’s are really where you want to be, because right now I think that’s a no. You know as well as I do, that’s not something we can live with on the teams.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Jake, you’re a good officer and you’ve always been one of our best. I know Columbia was a huge blow with Capt. Robertson being one of your friends, but you have to decide. Is this where you want to be anymore? You have to have a passion to make this lifestyle work for you and right now I’m not seeing it.”
“Yes, sir.”
The Colonel looked at him with a kindness which shredded the lining of Jake’s stomach. “Take some time to heal, Jake. If you decide you want to stay a PJ, then we can talk, but if you decide this isn’t the life for you anymore, that’s okay too. There’s no shame in that.”
Jake felt the blood leave his extremities at his shock. Leave the PJ’s? The military was his life. He didn’t want to give that up. Not yet, but he simply said, “Thank you, sir.”
The Colonel stuck his hand out to shake Jake’s hand. “Sally will have your leave paperwork at her desk by the end of the day.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Jake limped out of the Colonel’s office and headed towards his truck. As he slumped down into the seat, he let his head lay back on the headrest. Now what was he going to do? Did he want to stay a PJ? The Colonel was right…everything had changed after Columbia. If he couldn’t save his best friend, then what good was he to anyone? But if he wasn’t a PJ, then what was he going to do? He couldn’t go into another career field within the Air Force. That felt like giving up, but he’d never considered doing anything else besides the military. He’d served eight years so he’d served his commitment, but was he ready to leave? There were too many questions swirling around in his head he didn’t know the answers to. The only thing he did know was it was time to head home and confront his other issues; the ones he had with Cassie.
Chapter 11
Jake pounded down the hall to Cassie’s office in the History Department. Butterflies rolled through his stomach and he felt like he could puke. Wasn’t that a bitch? He didn’t get this nervous and nauseous when he was out on a mission and his life was on the line. He was just going to see Cassie. It’s not like this was dangerous, but the rolling feeling continued through his gut.
He hadn’t seen Cassie since May. Their friendship had deteriorated since that fateful night when he’d taken advantage of her. They’d never talked about it or even mentioned what happened. Both tried to maintain the status quo of their friendship after he went back to Arizona, but after a few stilted phone conversations, their communication had dwindled to the occasional text or email. He hadn’t even called to tell her he was coming today. He wasn’t sure how she was going to react to him being here.
When he reached the door to her office, he was surprised to find it open and a man sitting behind her desk rifling through some papers. He looked up when Jake started through the doorway and immediately scowled at him. Jake guessed him to be in his mid-twenties. He had shaggy dark hair which was about a month past needing a haircut. He looked like a traditional college academic, his lean frame in a hoodie and jeans, except the notably aggressive expression behind his wire-framed glasses on his face. “Can I help you with something?” The man eyed him suspiciously.
Wow, talk about unfriendly. “I’m looking for Professor Robertson. This is still her office, isn’t it?” He glanced pointedly towards Cassie’s desk and the papers the man was holding.
The man was openly hostile now. “What’s your name and what do you need with the Professor?” He was practically growling.
Jake walked further into the room. Even on crutches he was a big guy and knew how to use that to his advantage to intimidate. He leaned over the front of the desk and picked up the framed picture he knew was sitting there of Chris, Cassie, and him. “I’m Jake Madsen. I’ve been a friend of Cassie’s for a long fucking time.” He shoved the photo into the guys face. “Now who the hell are you?”
At that, the man deflated and rubbed a hand over his face. “Aw, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you. Things have been crazy around here and I’m just feeling a bit protective of her.” He stood up and offered Jake his hand. “I’m sorry for the lousy welcome. I’m Derek, Cassie’s TA. She didn’t mention you were coming into town.”
Jake shook his hand, wondering what the hell was going on here. Why was this guy feeling protective about Cassie? Were they involved? That thought sent another rolling wave of nausea through Jake’s gut. “She didn’t know I was coming into town. I decided to surprise her. What do you mean by things have been crazy?”
Derek shook his head. “That’s not my tale to tell, but I have to admit I’m glad you’re here. You’re military aren’t you?” He looked at Jake speculatively.
Jake gave a terse nod. Why would it m
atter if he was military? Jake was starting to get a prickling sensation on the back of his neck and this time it had nothing to do with his eminent confrontation with Cassie. Something definitely wasn’t right here. Jake had a feeling Colton had been right to send him for a visit. “It sounds like I need to talk to Cassie. Where is she?”
Derek looked at the clock on the wall. “Right now she’s reviewing the Principles of War with a bunch of freshman. I just came back over here to grab some paperwork she forgot. They’re over in Holden Hall, room 134. The lecture should be over in about an hour. You could head over and slide into the back. It’s one of the big lecture halls, so you could slip in unnoticed.”
***
Jake slid into one of the chairs in the back of the lecture hall. Thankfully, part of his training in the Air Force taught him how to move quietly, even with the inconvenience of crutches. The room was darkened except down on the platform where Cassie stood lecturing. Damn she looked good. If he’d been lucky enough to have professors that looked like her when he was in college, he definitely wouldn’t have skipped so many classes. Looking around the room at the boys’ enraptured attention he had a feeling that she didn’t have too many openings in her classes.
She was dressed in a fitted grey skirt which cupped her ass like a glove. Her top was a flaming orange, button down with French cuffs. The color highlighted her auburn hair which was hanging loose in waves down her back so it looked like flames. The entire look was finished off with fuck-me heels which were the same color as her skirt, with little orange bows on the back of them. She even had a little pair of reading glasses perched onto the tip of her pert nose. The entire look sent his naughty professor fantasies flying and he felt a tightening at the front of his jeans.
She had a laptop computer feeding into the lecture hall’s projection system as she talked about Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, specifically… the five types of intelligence sources and how to use them. She moved and spoke with a self-assurance earned by her expertise on the subject and her voice carried out over the lecture hall.