“What does he want with her? She's just a dog-walker, for God's sake.”
“Don't be such a snob. She's a lot more than that, and you know it. And even if she weren't, he has a right to fall in love with her. I think he'd be good for her, if she can handle what goes with his success.”
“She can't,” Jane said, sounding convinced. “She doesn't have the guts. She ran away from L.A., and she dropped out of law school. She's a quitter.”
“No, she's not!” Liz said firmly. “And whatever they decide to do is up to them.”
“He's going to drop her like a hot brick the minute he starts his next film, which is in about two weeks, I think. How long do you think it'll last after that? He'll be sleeping with his leading lady, and he'll forget all about Coco, living like a hippie at the beach.”
“Maybe not. Maybe this is for real,” Liz insisted. For some reason, she had the feeling that it was. They had been so careful to protect their secret that it made her think that they were serious about each other. She hoped that was the case. She was very fond of them both. “She has the right to find out for herself what this is all about and means to both of them. If he's not serious about her, she'll figure it out soon enough.”
“And so will half the world when they read about it in the tabloids. They don't need that headache, and neither do we. I love Leslie, but I don't need to read about my sister being his latest fling.”
“I think she must be more than that to him. He cares about you too, and he wouldn't take advantage of your sister and have a fling just for the hell of it.”
“They're both crazy if they think this would ever work. Take my word for it, it won't, even if they're serious about it now. The kind of pressure he's under is way too much for Coco to handle. She's going to collapse like a house of cards.”
“I think you should give her more credit than that. She didn't fall apart when Ian died.”
“No, she just became a recluse for the last two years. And what happens when the tabloids start stalking our house and hers? Who needs it? She lives in a dream world, Liz, and so does he if he thinks she can be part of his real life. The press will make fun of her.”
“Maybe not. She can get it together if she wants.”
“She'll never go back to live in L.A. And he can't live in that shack at the beach with her. He has a major career, even bigger than ours.”
“Let's see what happens,” Liz said quietly. “And I think all of that is beside the point. If she's going to try and do this, she needs our support. She doesn't need you beating her up.”
“I didn't beat her up,” Jane growled at her partner, but they both knew she had. Liz could see it in her eyes. There was guilt all over Jane's face. “I just told her what I thought.”
“Sometimes, with you, that's the same thing. You don't know how much your words can hurt. You can be very sharp.”
“All right, all right. I'll call her,” Jane promised as they got ready to leave the apartment they had rented. The film they were making was going well, and they were going home sooner than planned. In the end, Coco had house-sat for them for the entire time, but it had worked out well for her too. And now they knew why.
But when Jane called Coco later that morning on her cell phone, Coco didn't answer, nor later in the afternoon. Two days later, Jane had understood that Coco didn't want to speak to her. She felt bad by then and had calmed down. She decided to call Leslie then to see what he had to say.
His voice was ice cold when he answered his phone and recognized her number on caller ID.
“What's up?” he said tersely, sounding even more British than usual. Jane recognized in his reaction how much she had hurt her sister, and it made her feel defensive.
“Coco tells me you've been having a hot romance all summer,” Jane said, trying to make light of it, which was what she still believed it was. A summer fling. No matter what Liz said.
“I wouldn't call it that,” he said bluntly. “I fell in love with your sister. She's an extraordinary woman, and a nice one. She's been doing you a favor for the last three months, and I've been the benefactor of it, thanks to your hospitality. There was no need to say the things you did to her. I find it inexcusable. I don't know what bug you've got up your ass, Jane, but I suggest you get a grip on yourself. If you ever speak to her that way again, you can forget me as a friend. I have no use for people like you, who hurt people for the hell of it. What is it? Kind of a sport with you? You live with one of the nicest women in the world, and your sister is another one. I suggest you take lessons from both of them.” He had hit his mark, and Jane felt like she'd been slapped, which was exactly what he had intended. He didn't want Jane upsetting Coco, or telling her he would dump her, forget her, or cheat on her the moment he left. He had never been in love like this in his life.
“I don't need you to tell me how to talk to my sister. I told her what I thought, and I still do. Don't bullshit me, Leslie. You're going to be in bed with your costar the minute you start the movie, and you won't give two shits about Coco, or remember her, by next week.” They had known each other for a long time.
“Thank you for the vote of confidence,” he said angrily. “There's no need to be rude to me, or to Coco. I have nothing more to say to you until you learn some manners, or buy yourself a heart. Maybe Liz can lend you half of hers since it's twice the normal size. There are only two big things on you, Jane. Your talent and your mouth. I respect the former immensely but I want nothing to do with the latter. Just leave Coco alone.”
“Why? Because I told her the truth? You wouldn't be this angry at me if that weren't the case. It sounds like I spoiled your game.”
“There is no game here,” he said quietly. “I'm in love with your sister. And if I have any luck at all, I'm hoping to convince her to live with me in L.A.”
“Don't count on it. She's phobic about L.A., and everything it represents. She had some kind of childhood trauma, growing up around famous, successful people. She hates all of us, and eventually that will mean you too. She can't handle it. And if I know Coco, she won't even try.”
“I give her more credit than that,” he said coolly, praying Jane was wrong. She had a way of cutting close to the bone.
“You'll be disappointed by her, Leslie,” Jane said, quieter now too. They were an even match, which wasn't the case between the two sisters, as they both knew. Coco was no match for Jane. She was neither mean nor tough. “We're all disappointed by her. She may have started this with you, but she won't finish it. She'll drop out. She doesn't have what it takes to see it through, or live your way of life. That's why she's a dog-walker instead of an attorney, and she lives where she does, among surfers who dropped out of the real world forty years ago. That will be her one day. It already is.” There was bitterness in her voice.
“Why does it bother you so much that she's a dog-walker and dropped out of law school?” he asked, hitting the nail on the head. Jane was such an overachiever, obsessed with performance and success that she couldn't deal with what Coco had chosen to do. “It doesn't bother me in the least. I respect her for having the courage not to compete with all of you. It's not a fair race for her. She's not as tough as the rest of you. Or as mean, thank God. She's a gentle person who has found her own way.”
“Thank you for your analysis of my sister. Believe me, I know her better than you. I love her, but she's a flake. And she's been lost all her life.”
“I think I know her better than you do now. She's a much better person than you or me. She doesn't sell out. She follows what she believes, and she lives it.”
“If you have her believing she can handle the kind of heat you take on a daily basis, you're kidding yourself and her. She'll collapse like a soufflé the first time the cameras go off in her face, or she sees you in some star's arms. She'll run like hell.”
“I'll do everything in my power to see that that doesn't happen,” he assured her sister, but he was worried about that too. And so was Coco. It wasn't an easy li
fe being a star, or loving one. And Coco knew that well.
“Good luck,” Jane said, sounding sarcastic, and they were both annoyed when they hung up. He hated the way Jane treated her sister and the things she said about her. She was so uncharitable and so merciless in her assessments and attacks. Jane gave no one a break. And Jane hated the fact that he was defending Coco. Who did he think he was? She was still angry when she told Liz about it that night. But at least Liz knew that Leslie could hold his own. Unlike Coco, who was wounded by her sister's razor tongue every time.
Leslie told Coco about the call from Jane when they went for a walk on Crissy Field that afternoon with Sallie and Jack. She said nothing as she listened, and he had censored some of their exchange so as not to injure Coco further, but he wanted her to know that he had stuck up for her. He thought it was time someone did. They were holding hands as they walked.
“You didn't have to do that for me,” she said softly. “I can defend myself.” But not as well as he, Leslie thought, remembering the things Jane had said. No one could survive that barrage. He thought it a mercy that Jane had already left the house when Coco was growing up.
“You shouldn't have to defend yourself against your sister. That's not what family is about. Or it shouldn't be.”
“They were all like that,” Coco said, thinking of her parents and sister. “I couldn't wait to leave.”
“I can see why. I hate the things she says to you, the assumptions she makes. I can't bear the fact that she thinks I was just playing with you, that this was just a passing affair, for either of us. You're the woman of my dreams,” he said, and leaned down to kiss her. They stood there for a long moment, kissing on the path, as people jogged and walked around them, smiling at the handsome young couple in each other's arms, and then they walked on. No one recognized him in Coco's arms.
Liz called them both that night and apologized for Jane. She said she had been stressed during the whole time they were on location, and being pregnant was a big change for her. But she was sorry that she had been hard on them. Leslie assured her that he was serious about Coco, and Liz said she understood and wished them well.
It was just one more thing to think about and deal with in their last days together in San Francisco. He took her out for a nice dinner the night before he left. He had asked for a quiet table in the back and made the reservation in Coco's name.
They were both depressed. They had shared a magical three and a half months, and they both knew it would never be quite the same again. Real life was about to intrude, possibly in a very big way. It frightened Coco more, but he was worried too. About how she would react to it, but also being away from her for several months now was going to be very hard for them both. He was dreading the separation as much as she was, and he hated the idea of being so far away once he left for Venice in ten days.
“When can you come down to L.A.?” he asked for the hundredth time.
“I've got Liz's friend Erin to cover me for three days at the end of this week.” He looked relieved as she said it. Jane had worried him. He had been afraid Coco wouldn't come at all. “She'll walk Sallie and Jack too. Jane doesn't want her staying at the house.”
“I'll try to keep my schedule as free as possible, but I'll have to be on the set some of the time. You can be there with me if you like.” He didn't want to be away from her for a minute, and hoped the producer and director didn't want too much of his time. He was going to do as much of it as he could before she arrived.
“See how it goes once you start. I can wait at the hotel.” They were going to be at the Bel-Air, where they had spent the night when she had gone to L.A. with him before. “I can visit my mother if she's not too busy or working on a book.” Coco knew that if she was writing, she wouldn't see anyone at all. “I'll call her once you know your plans. You're my priority while I'm there, not my mom,” she said, smiling at him, and his heart melted again.
Their last night together was sweet and tender. They made love several times, and Coco lay in bed awake at dawn, watching the sun come up, as Leslie slept in her arms. She couldn't imagine being there now without him. It was going to be so lonely, and even the house in Bolinas wouldn't be the same. He was part of everything now, and had become inextricably woven into the fabric of her life. But she also knew that his life was far bigger than hers. He had other things to do. The time they had shared in the house on Broadway had been a precious gift. She was grateful to Jane for that, even if she had little faith in what they meant to each other, or what would happen next. She had sent Coco a text message apologizing for shooting her mouth off, as she always did. And Coco had responded, thanking her, but they hadn't spoken to each other again. Her conversation with Leslie had the effect he wanted from it for Coco. Jane had backed off, which was easier for them at least. He didn't give a damn about what Jane thought, only about what she said to Coco. He didn't want Jane upsetting her anymore. And Liz had suggested she let it rest for a while too. Jane was busy anyway finishing up in New York.
Coco had helped Leslie pack the night before. And the car and driver came much too soon. He had production meetings on the set that day and had stayed with her until the last minute. He was catching a nine a.m. flight, and had to leave the house by seven-thirty He stood in the doorway kissing her for a last time.
“Take care of yourself,” he said, smiling at her. “I'll see you soon. I'll call you later, when I have a break. And you'll be in L.A. in a few days.” He said it to reassure himself as much as Coco. He hated leaving her.
“I love you, Leslie,” she said simply, suddenly aware that he no longer belonged just to her. He was going back to his own world, where others owned him too. Producers, directors, film companies, fans, agents, friends. Like it or not, she had to share him now.
“I love you too,” he responded, kissed her one last time, and hurried toward the car. He couldn't miss his flight. The producer had offered to send a plane for him, but it seemed unnecessary and he had said he would take a commercial flight, just like everyone else. And since Coco wouldn't be with him, he didn't have to worry about protecting her from prying eyes.
She waved as the town car drove away, and he stuck an arm out the window and blew her kisses as they headed toward Divisadero, turned right, and disappeared.
She walked back into the house, wanting to cry. She went upstairs and lay down on their bed, which she would be returning to her sister and Liz soon. It wouldn't be the same without Leslie now anyway. She got up finally and put on a sweatshirt and jeans. She had to go to work. All she could think of now was him. She felt as though someone had ripped half her heart away.
He called her from the airport while she was walking the big dogs. She was out of breath from running, and he was about to board the plane.
“Don't forget I love you!” he reminded her.
“Me too,” she said, smiling. They talked for a few minutes until he was seated in first class, and the flight attendant told him to turn off his phone.
She went through all the motions of what had once been her life, and now seemed like nothing without him. She wondered how only four months before she had thought this was enough. It no longer was.
She walked all the dogs on her schedule, and went downtown at four o'clock. She had shopping to do. If she was going to meet him in L.A., she had to look respectable. It had been years since she owned clothes like that. She stayed downtown until the stores closed, and returned with a van full of shopping bags. She had even bought two suitcases to put them in. When she met him in L.A., she was going to make him proud.
Chapter 12
The plane took off from San Francisco airport at ten A.M. She was landing at LAX at eleven, and Leslie was meeting her at the Bel-Air Hotel at noon. He was sending a car and driver to the airport for her. He was hoping to spend two hours with her at lunch-time between meetings, and then he had to go back. They were planning to stay in that night. But the next day he was going to a dinner the producer was giving for the whole cas
t and major stars. Leslie was taking her with him. It was at the producer's home. It would be their first glimpse of the cast of the movie they were making, and there was a star-studded cast, of which Leslie was the biggest of all. It was going to be Coco's debut, going out with him in an important way. She had bought a sexy black cocktail dress to wear and gorgeous new high heels.
The car and driver were waiting for her at LAX as promised, and picked up her bags. They sped to the Bel-Air Hotel while she tried not to think of what might happen the next day, and concentrated on seeing Leslie instead. She wondered if he'd be different here. Maybe even in the past few days, everything would have changed. What if Jane was right? It was Coco's worst fear.
They had an even bigger suite at the Bel-Air this time, and the same swans were there, swimming in the stream, and wandering the grounds. The hotel was peaceful, and the room was spectacular. She was still looking around after they set down her bags, when she heard the door open and turned to see Leslie beaming at her. He had been terrified she'd change her mind and cancel at the last minute, and he took her in his arms with such force he knocked the breath out of her. They were like two long-lost children who had found each other after a war. The past four days had been agony for both of them.
“I thought you'd never come!” he said, squeezing her tight, and then holding her away so he could look at her. She looked very grown up. She was wearing jeans with a soft white sweater that showed off her figure, a suede jacket, and sexy high heels. Her hair was brushed long, and there were tiny diamond earrings on her ears. He had never seen her that dressed up, and was impressed to see what good taste she had and how well she put herself together. Even when they had gone out to dinner in San Francisco, they had both been casual. He had never seen Coco look that way before. “Wow!” he said with admiration. “You're a knockout!”
“I feel like Cinderella at the ball. I may turn into a pumpkin any minute.”
“Well, if you do, you're my pumpkin, and I will chase you all over the kingdom with the glass slipper.” Her shoes were Louboutin and worthy of any star. As a connoisseur of stylish women, he recognized the signature red soles. “I like the ones you're wearing, by the way.” He was full of admiration and praise of her. And he looked wonderful to her too. He was wearing one of his perfectly tailored custom-made English shirts, jeans, and alligator loafers, with a cashmere sweater over his shoulders. He'd had a haircut, and they had put a rinse in his hair to cover the few wisps of gray. It was even darker than before. He looked like the Leslie Baxter she had seen on the screen a hundred times before. But his eyes told her he was hers. That was all she wanted to know.
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