The air smelled sweet and I wasn’t sure if it was from the candles or the flowers, but they’d been so thoughtfully placed around the room that my memories of being royalty flooded back.
Fearful that I’d keep ogling him, I cleared my throat. “Ahem. Young,” I said. What was I even doing? He moved a little and then sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from his face with his unmistakably muscular arms. He smiled at me and I melted, the back of my knees weakening.
His eyes widened suddenly. “Sorry!” he said, scrambling for his shirt. “I didn’t want my shirt to get wrinkled and I must’ve fallen asleep.”
“It’s okay,” I said, pleading with my body not to blush.
He pulled his shirt on and tapped the bed beside him. I wasn’t sure if I one hundred percent believed he hadn’t planned that stunt with the shirt, but I’d known him to be honest and I was still trying to convince myself that nothing was going to happen.
Oh god. Oh no. Relax, Charlotte. I was just having a seat... on his bed.
I sat and I felt his gaze on my face.
My breathing grew deeper.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes. I just, no. Well—”
He laughed, pulling my attention to his bright smile. Oh no.
“Nothing can happen,” I blurted.
He smirked, unconvinced.
The words spilled out. “I’m still trying to figure everything out.” I meant it but noticed a sharp pang of disappointment when he nodded in agreement.
“Then let’s play a game,” he said. He hopped up and walked over to his desk, pulling out a wooden box.
I tried to catch my breath as he took a seat on the floor. He waved me over. So I followed and took a seat across from him. He opened the box and pulled out a handful of wooden sticks each with markings on them, and a red circular cloth that he laid out between us.
He looked me in the eye and my heart leapt as I saw Morgana’s features reflected in him, as well as her kindness. She was ours and he was the man who gave me her. No, I reminded myself. None of that.
“So, this is called Yut Nori,” he said. My gaze drifted to his lips and another wave of curiosity swept through me.
“We take turns throwing these sticks and, depending on what it lands on, we move the pieces.” He gestured to two smooth stones that sat between us on the patterned cloth. He grinned and pointed to one of the stones. “That’s yours,” he said.
“Ah.” I picked up the sticks, examining them closely to keep from gawking at his smile. I didn’t remember him smiling so much five years ago. It was like he’d somehow figured out my weakness. “How can I tell how many spaces to move from this?” I said, looking at the symbols marked on each one.
“I’ll tell you,” he said.
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
His smile faded. “I always tell the truth.”
“Tell the truth then,” I said, raising my eyebrows and crossing my arms.
He pushed his lips out. “Really? Now?”
“Isn’t that why we’re doing this?”
He put his hand to his face as if hiding and sighed deeply. “I’m nervous,” he said, "You've grown into such a beautiful and enticing woman and I'm having a hard time not thinking about how much I want you."
I dropped my arms to my side.
“I’m honestly trying to think of anything else so please,” he continued, “let’s just play this game so I don’t lose my goddamn mind.”
Who was this person? I bit my bottom lip to keep the shaken feeling inside my chest from showing on my body. I reached out and grabbed the sticks. “Like this?” I said, tossing them between us. My gaze met his, the sticks landing with several fresh clunking sounds. But we didn’t look down. Energy surged between us. My pulse raced as my body screamed to be touched. Without looking away, he leaned forward, moving his legs slowly.
I froze, afraid he might kiss me, but instead he rocked back onto his knees.
Smile. Do it, please. His gaze traveled down to my lips, then my neck. It lingered on my collarbone and slipped down to my chest. His gaze shot back to mine, his eyes wide with guilt.
A gorgeous smile stretched across his face. Oh no. I was going to give in. He laughed. “Sorry! Sorry! That was an accident.”
In response, I crossed my arms, giving my breasts a purposeful lift. His smile stopped and he stared down at the game as if it was the final move in a tournament. Curiosity tore through me, but I waited for him to resume the game.
He looked over the symbols on the wooden stick. “Fuck it,” he said finally, and with one sweep of his arm, he obliterated the game, scattering the pieces across the room. He reached for me, yanking my body to his, his lips hot on mine. He was a taste I didn’t know, an intensity I hadn’t expected. His tongue brushed mine. He pulled away only long enough to bite into my neck, and with four swift pulls, he unlaced my corset and slipped it over my head.
He took his shirt off, pushing me back to the floor and ran his fingers over my undergarments, the last thin barrier between us. My back arched with delight. All at once I remembered. The same feeling had been hidden in the deepest recesses of my memory, brought forth by every soft kiss to my neck. He wiggled out of the last of his clothing before leaning back over me, brushing my curls out of my face.
Please, don’t stop.
He leaned in just as a loud bell sounded from outside, resonating through the room.
34
Young
I froze. No. Not this. The bell rang and I lifted my head to listen. Not now. Charlotte breathed heavily beneath me, otherwise as frozen as I was. The bell tolled again. Please, not three. Please, not three. When the third bell rang out, my heart sunk. I rolled off Charlotte and she sat up, her eyes wide with panic.
Any suspicions I had that the world didn’t want me to be with Charlotte were now confirmed.
“What is it? What does it mean?” she asked.
I hurried into my clothes, Charlotte struggling into hers as well. “It means a royal has died.”
“What?”
“I think my…” I fought my voice from cracking. “I think Sumin is dead.”
I headed for the door and turned to Charlotte who was unsuccessfully reaching for the strings on her corset. I walked behind her, tightening the strings quickly and tying it. “I’m sorry. I have to—”
“No, it’s okay. Go. Do you want me to stay here?” she asked.
“I—” I clenched my jaw, feeling a sliver of grief slip through my shock and confusion. Shaking my head, I slid the door open and stepped out. I ran all the way to the throne room and knew my suspicions had been right when I found my father waiting there.
I swallowed, not allowing myself to ask what had happened. My father simply nodded. I doubled over and felt myself sway. I took a deep, steadying breath when I heard the sob of a woman outside the room but didn’t allow myself to look. I knew it was Sumin’s wife. As the sound of her crying floated through the throne room, I thought of how little I knew her. I’d made some effort to spend time with Sumin since I’d been home, but never when his wife was present. Hearing her pain made me think of Charlotte and how she looked when we separated five years ago. My mother’s calming voice swept through the room from outside, mollifying Sumin’s widow.
In a blur, several council members rushed in, the wordless confirmation passing around the room as each new member entered. We stood in silence, each preoccupied with different thoughts on the same tragedy. My father’s first son, the most kingly of all his children, taken away too young for no godly reason. Not a war, not in defense of a loved one, merely an illness that swept through and stole his life.
I felt broken, not only for losing a brother but for my father’s pain, Sumin’s wife, my mother, and above all Minseo. While Sumin and my age gap prevented us from being close, we had a fairly standard relationship, but as far as I knew, Minseo was never able to fix the shattered pieces of their turbulent past. I was certain he’d be hurt the
most by the news and I wanted to be there for him when he found out.
My father’s weary voice filled the throne room. “I need to speak to Young alone,” he said, drawing the mournful gazes of the council members. They bowed deeply before taking their leave and left me alone to face my father.
“You are to go to Faresa with Charlotte and deliver Minseo home immediately.”
“But father—”
“Enough!” he shouted. The sheer volume and body of his voice startled me. It was unlike my father to raise his voice. Even given the sad circumstances, it was unusual for him to shed his calm demeanor. “Not today,” he said. Silence filled the room and, when he spoke again, his voice was gentle, but his words cut nonetheless. “He is the future King of Vires.”
My skin pricked. “I’m aware of how succession works.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Are you?”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. “May I have permission to stay in Faresa until they agree to join our fight?”
“I want you both home.”
I gritted my teeth. “War is coming. We need this alliance.”
“And I need my sons to stop dying,” he said.
“With all due respect, Sumin died in his bed. In Vires. And if we don’t secure at least this alliance, or one from another kingdom before Camelot’s army arrives, many more people will die.”
He wiped his lips. “I am first and foremost a father. I need to protect my children first.”
“No, you need to protect Vires above all,” I said.
My father stood and walked slowly down the stairs at the base of the throne. “You are not a king,” he said.
“But I am a father.”
“And you would risk Morgana’s life to win a war?”
My breath skipped in my throat. “I would do whatever I needed to protect every person in this kingdom. They are all equally important.”
He sighed, his gaze skimming over my face. “Then you are not a king and you are not a father.”
I turned away to hide my face from him and clenched my jaw as I headed for the door. My face was hot with anger and I reeled with every step, resentment forming for my father and for Minseo. Neither of them had the ideals of a true king, nor what it took to save Vires from falling. Did they think it was impossible? I’d witnessed a kingdom fall and so did Minseo. Why was I the only one trying to save Vires? It was their choices that put us into this alliance. The walk back to my room was a blur, and I’d forgotten about the girl waiting for me there.
Exhausted, I slid open the door to my bedroom. It was dark, all the candles burned out or blown out by Charlotte when she’d left. But then I noticed her sitting at the edge of the bed. She turned to me, her eyes and cheeks red.
She got to her feet, rushed to me, and threw her arms around me. “I’m so sorry, Young,” she said. I buried my face into her curls and cried until Charlotte took me by the hand and beckoned me to lay in bed. She lay beside me and rubbed my back, the soothing circles my only comfort in the world until I cried myself dry and sleep finally claimed me.
35
Merlin
I was determined to get back in Arthur’s good graces and had gathered a unit of soldiers to run some training drills. My plan was to make them enough of an asset that Arthur would forgive me for letting Charlotte get the best of me. However, I knew the moment I stepped into the courtyard that my plan wasn’t going to work.
“Why should we do what you say?” a slender soldier said.
A few of the men snickered. “You’re a woman in the army. I ain’t taking orders from the likes of you.”
My palm lit with blue flame, but the group of men growing rowdy didn’t seem to notice my threat.
A pock-marked man chimed in, “Yeah, it was you who let the dragon go in the first place. I hear you’re going to be executed for treason.”
I sighed. I was hoping not to roast anyone today. My eyes moved up to the clear blue sky. It was too nice of a day. It seemed a shame that the smoke of their ashes would smog it. But I also worried Arthur might think I was intentionally weakening his forces.
The fifty soldiers I selected nodded in agreement, chatting indistinctly about my accused treason.
“You like treason?” a voice said.
The slender soldier’s face paled and I turned to see Lancelot.
“Merlin is the king’s battle mage,” he said. “She vastly outranks you, and you will obey her or I’ll look the other way as she uses you all for target practice.”
Lance’s gaze moved to me, his hazel eyes a forest green, as they typically were in the courtyard. His face was severe and lacked any trace of amusement as he took a seat on a small stone statue and gestured for me to continue.
“Line up!” I shouted, ready to begin, and the men obliged but all through the training my mind was captured by Lancelot. Who did he think he was? I wasn’t some damsel who needed rescuing. First that bizarre incident with Gwen and now him rushing in to help me. Something was definitely going on, and I wasn’t going to rest until I found out what it was.
Later that night, I sat quietly at the banquet table watching Lancelot eat, without a word to anyone else. Gwen was in full form, wearing a tightly corseted gown that showed far too much of her chest, and was drunkenly laughing at everything Arthur said, a clear attempt to draw in Lance’s attention, but it appeared unsuccessful. The moment Lance finished eating, he stood and exited the hall without offering Gwen so much as a glance.
I saw my opening and followed him out, despite the fact I hadn’t really finished eating. He turned the corner and headed to his chamber and I followed closely behind, using spurts of well-placed wind to silence my steps, an ability I’d been working on during my late night strolls through the castle.
When we were out of the common area, I hurried to catch up. He reached for the door and I spun him, slamming him against it.
“What is your deal?” I spat. “What are you doing?”
He sighed, as if he’d expected me and said, “I’m trying to go to bed.”
I pulled a stray braid behind my ear. “Don’t play dumb.” I waved my finger in his face. “What are you doing?”
He smiled softly, startling me. His eyes were no longer green but a rich honey brown.
He crossed his arms. “Oh, how I’ve missed this. Look, there is something, but let’s go in my room. I don’t want anyone to hear this.”
I stepped back in defeat and followed him into his room.
He sat on his bed, and I stopped just on the other side of the door, feeling suddenly out of place.
He patted the bed beside him, so I crossed the room and took a seat.
He looked down at his hands. “I know what you’re doing,” he said.
“What I’m doing? We’re here to talk about whatever you’re doing.”
“You’re trying to win over Arthur.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek. He looked up at me, waiting for me to deny it, but he was right. I felt a flutter in my stomach from a past life.
“I think we can help each other.”
I turned away. “I don’t need your help.”
He stood. “Okay,” he said, gesturing to the door. “I’ll see you around.”
I shook my head in confusion. “You—you were supposed to tell me what you’re up to.”
His eyebrows rose. “Well, the truth is, it’s pretty embarrassing. You’re right, you don’t need my help. It was a dumb idea anyway.”
Embarrassing? Was he going to bring up the incident Gwen was upset about?
“I’m sure it was. But please do tell.”
He gulped, somehow making me nervous.
“Arthur asked me to pick a bride. You and Gwen are the only women I really know, and she’s like already—”
“I’m going to stop you right there.” I leapt from the bed. “You can act as weird as you want. I don’t care what you’re up to. It’s clearly your business.”
He grabbed my wrist. “Stop,” he said. “It
could get you back on Arthur’s good side.”
I scoffed, ripping my hand free. “I’m not going to marry you, Lance. Are you insane?”
I stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me so hard I heard the hinges rattle. The nerve of that guy. Has he lost his damn mind? I marched angrily back to my room, a rush of heat and emotions surging so strong, I thought I felt the flicker of a new power. But when I lay in my bed, I realized that not all the emotions I felt were negative. The guy I’d once pined over just kind of proposed to me, and the more I thought about it, the less I could find the anger, or fight back my smile.
36
Charlotte
“Charlotte,” Young said, waking me. I blinked through the light of the morning, disoriented and unsure where or even when I was.
He spoke again. “Can Garix carry more than one of us?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, I never tried.”
He nodded. “We have to try. I’m going with you.”
I sat up. Suddenly, the memory of the night before rushed back. I felt my cheeks burn red. I’d nearly slept with Young. I most certainly would have gone through with it if those bells hadn’t interrupted, but I felt differently upon waking. There was no candlelight or flowers to cloud my judgment, nor was the ache of curiosity coursing through me. The flame had gone out just before it went too far. I was grateful I hadn’t made a mistake I couldn’t take back.
“We’re going to meet up with Minseo in Faresa. We have to tell him about Sumin and bring him back.”
“Has Faresa agreed to help us?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Let’s hope Minseo was able to convince them, and if he wasn’t, we’ll have to make our case quickly.”
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