But Lance, like always, paid my magic no mind. It was not a gift or a hindrance, just part of me, like my body or my spirit. I made a conscious choice not to let fear attend this ceremony so, with all the power I had stored inside, I wished it away, leaving only gratitude in its wake.
I adjusted the strap on my nightgown as I sat quietly on Lance’s bed, mindlessly picking at my fingernails. He’d been called into a meeting with Arthur just after the ceremony and hadn’t returned for nearly an hour.
I was surprised to find a lavish golden sword laid out in the chamber when I arrived. Arthur had spared no expense to commemorate the occasion, and I was excited to see what Lance would say about it. But as the night dragged on and he still hadn’t appeared, I let fear creep back in.
I sprang to my feet as the door jostled and Lance stepped through. His face was hardened and tense, with bulges on each cheek where his jaw was tensed. His eyes softened when he looked at me, but only for a moment.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
His gaze swept the room, landing on Arthur’s wedding gift. His face brightened. “What’s this? It looks just like Excalibur.”
“Arthur had it made for you,” I said.
He walked over, running his fingers along the jeweled hilt. He lifted the sword and checked its balance by placing it on two fingers just below the bottom of the hilt. Perfectly balanced and excellently crafted, it was difficult to imagine it was made by human hands.
“Lance,” I said, interrupting. “What’s wrong?”
His shoulder sagged as he put down the sword and turned to me.
“Arthur is sending Galahad, Percival, and Lamorak to lead the charge.”
It was not an unexpected choice; they were the most battle-tested. I doubted Lance would’ve been thrown by it, so I waited to hear the news that had been enough to alter his euphoric mood.
“We’ll go with Arthur to…” he took a deep breath, “to take down Charlotte. Once she’s down, no one will have control of Garix, and it’ll be an easy win.”
My pulse quickened. Charlotte hurt me. Part of me really hated her for what she did. I was still angry, but she was a prisoner trying to make it back to her family. I desperately wished she would have told me she was leaving. I wish I could’ve said goodbye or even convinced her to stay. But none of those things could condemn her, and there was no way I could take her life.
My mind raced as I sorted through the possible scenarios. Not only would I be unable to kill Charlotte when it came down to it, but I might also have the impulse to save her. That could not only put our entire battle at risk but, more importantly, it could get Lance or Arthur killed.
Sensing my distress, Lance walked over and rubbed the cold from my arms. He pulled my face into his chest and ran his hand up and down my spine. I wanted to disappear, feeling a home-like comfort I could scarcely remember from my early childhood. Now that I had Lance’s unconditional love, I couldn’t remember why I liked to fight to begin with. I had nothing more to prove and no enemies to slay. Lance spoke softly into the top of my head. “I know she’s important to you. If I were king, I would stop this. You know, even if we weren’t going to fight her directly, she’s part of the enemy kingdom. Someone has to lose. It isn’t personal. It’s war.”
I nodded, the warmth of his chest easing me.
“She’s fighting for her family.” He pulled back, cupping my face in his hands. “Are you willing to fight for yours?”
I turned my face away.
He continued, “We can run. You and me, right now. They’d be too busy with this war to go after us.”
“You’d lose Arthur,” I said, tucking a stray mint green braid behind my ear.
“I’d do it for you if you asked.”
I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together then took a deep breath and looked into Lance’s hazel eyes. There wasn’t a single glimmer of doubt in them. He really would abandon Arthur and Camelot if I asked. My heart flooded at the idea of us together on the road again, but I squelched it as I settled on a decision. “If you’d do that for me,” I said, “then I can help you defeat Charlotte.”
He leaned in and gently kissed me, dimples cutting into his cheeks. “We’ll be together the whole time,” he said. “Arthur wants to take care of her himself. All you’ll have to do is protect us, and Merlin, this is the last thing between you and Arthur’s full trust.”
I nodded, determination welling inside me. If Charlotte had the right to protect her family, I had the right to protect mine. I’d given her the chance to stay in Camelot. She made her choice, and I made mine.
45
Young
The storm had passed along with several hours before I thought Charlotte had cooled down enough to let me explain. While I’d trained Morgana, I was confident Charlotte would eventually understand once I was able to explain. But, after seeing the hatred in her eyes as she held her dagger over me, ready to end my life, I was less confident. Still, I knew in my heart that I’d done the right thing.
I sat at the edge of Charlotte’s bed as she lay facing the wall, her breaths steady and slow.
“Charlotte,” I said. I wasn’t sure how much time she’d give me to get this out. “She’s much stronger than you think. She can save a thousand lives. She could be the difference between winning this war and total destruction.”
Charlotte sat up, turning her face to me. Her stare was cold and her eyes vacant. “She’s only five,” she said half-heartedly. “You want her to kill people? She’s just a child.”
“I want her to save lives. Men who will die in this battle if she doesn’t fight.”
“And you would risk the life of your daughter to win?”
It was a question I’d grown familiar with. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t risk to win.”
She scoffed and turned away.
I continued, “ If we don’t win, Morgana won’t have a home to grow up in.”
The silence between us pervaded the room and I had the urge to open the window at the head of the bed to let some of it out. I sighed. Maybe the time had come to tell her everything. “I had planned to die for you and Morgana. You were hidden in that pipe with Minseo and those guards told me they were going to kill me. I was already bleeding out. But, instead of striking me down, the guard dropped his sword and pulled me to my feet, deciding I might be worth more alive than dead.”
Charlotte turned her gaze to me.
“They marched me to Bullhorn and locked me in a dungeon, promising to kill me the next day and then the next and then the next. I wasn’t sure how long I sat alone in the darkness, wishing for death, but when I finally saw the light again, Drethen was no more and Camelot had taken form. That’s when I met Arthur.”
My hands were clammy, and I wished I could read Charlotte’s thoughts because her face gave nothing away.
“He was more boy than man back then and, when he found out I was royalty, he put me in a high tower. It was a beautifully furnished bedroom with a window that filled the room with sunlight and fresh air, but it was a cell nonetheless. Locked from the outside. This time, however, I wasn’t alone.”
I looked down at my hands. “Another prisoner, about my age, shared the room.” My throat tightened to stop me from continuing the story, but I pressed on. “Her name was Sarah.” As I thought of her, I chuckled. “She was a total pain in the ass, just talked the entire day away. I assumed she was royalty since she was put in the tower, but she never mentioned where from. I figured that she’d tell me eventually, based on how quickly she burned through topics, but she never mentioned her past with any detail, and I never got the chance to ask before she died.”
Charlotte’s breathing quickened.
“We spent years looking out the window planning hopeless escapes, but it was a straight shot down the tower to a steep cliff and certain death. We fought all the time, too, living so closely. I think she even yelled at me for breathing too loudly. Then, one day, Arthur came to see us. He said that we would leave t
he next day for our respective kingdoms and that he welcomed us as the new allies of Camelot.”
Her eyes began to tear.
“You see, I’d never really considered why he’d moved me to such a civil jail cell or why he’d provided me with a female companion. Sarah figured it out first, that we’d become bargaining chips for Arthur. She refused to submit. Instead, she took a chance on her escape.”
Charlotte spoke softly. “She fell.”
My jaw tightened. “Yes. She fell and she died a hero, saving her kingdom from the fate we now face. I could have followed her. I could have made the jump and died for you and for Vires like I said I would.”
Charlotte nodded. “You loved her.”
I exhaled a shaky breath. “Out of respect for you, we didn’t sleep together, but I did love her.”
She pressed a hand to her stomach.
“When I returned to Vires and confirmed that Sarah had been right and that my death could have prevented Vires from being lost, I knew I had to do whatever it took to dethrone Arthur. Only then would Sarah’s kingdom, whatever it was, also be freed from the threat of Camelot.”
Charlotte pressed her lips together, holding in a reaction I desperately wanted to dissect. After a long pause, she spoke. “Got it. So this is a grudge match between you and Arthur? So you can avenge your dead girlfriend. Young, listen to me. Putting your daughter at risk doesn’t make you brave. It doesn’t make you a king. It makes you callous. It makes you worse than Arthur.” She stood. “And if you think I’m going to let you put my daughter’s life in danger to save your kingdom, or any kingdom for that matter, know this. You’ll have to kill me first.”
I stood. “No, that’s not it at all. I knew the second I saw you again that I still love you. We’ve made mistakes. But I love you and I love Morgana. Let’s just get through this battle and we can give us a real chance to be a family.”
She sighed. “They call them sweet nothings because they mean nothing. Young...” she said, her voice low, “if you’re willing to sacrifice your child for anything, you don’t deserve a family. A family is a place for children to be safe and protected, not used for their parents’ agendas.” She headed for the door and reached for the handle to slide it open. “Oh.” She stopped and turned to me. “I know I should have said this before because I’ve thought of nothing else since I returned, but I’m in love with Minseo, and I’m going to be with him.”
“Because of Sarah or because I trained Morgana and believe in her potential?”
She put a hand to her hip. “Because Minseo would rather be my husband and Morgana’s father than the king.”
“That’s easy for him to decide when he’s next in line,” I spat, but she was already gone.
46
Arthur
I stood on the Jin Sea, the wind whipping my face as we loaded our men onto our transport ships. I’d begun this journey with a glow of pride and excitement that felt electric, but that had drained away quickly during our tedious trek to Vires. There was nothing thrilling or epic about a thousand unruly men starting fights and getting drunk every night at camp. War was slow and crowded, and my thoughts drifted to what my Uncle Roger had said when he delivered my armor.
The sea was the final obstacle between me and my legacy. Once we crossed, we’d be on Viran territory. They knew we were coming and were prepared for war. Galahad had confirmed this when he returned from his tax collection trip to Vires empty-handed. I was expecting Vires to pay if for no other reason than to buy themselves a shred more time, but they’d refused.
The only thing that kept me going through the long travel days leading to the war was an image that repeatedly played in my mind of me standing over Charlotte, in golden armor, plunging into her with Excalibur, her dragon crashing into the ground beside me.
I knew if I imagined it enough, it would come to be. I would be remembered not as a boy who pulled a magical sword from a stone but as a great king and warrior who defeated a dragon.
The boats clapped together, nearly throwing the men off the ladders as they climbed. Ugh.
I turned to Galahad, his greasy black hair shining even in the gray overcast. “How much longer is this going to take?” I asked.
He smiled at me, his full set of pearly teeth showing. “We’re nearly there, Your Highness. Don’t worry, it won’t be long now. You’ll have your chance,” he said.
I didn’t take well to being pacified but thought a battle would be a waste of what little energy I had left. I felt a hand come down on my shoulder and turned to see Jeremy standing beside me. His plain armor didn’t match the stunning Excalibur replica sheathed to his scabbard.
“Your Highness,” he said, “let’s have Merlin cover the boats with fog.”
I looked around at the empty sea in front of us. “No, tell her to save her strength. There’s no need for such extreme measures.”
“But Your Majesty, we’re crowding our men onto a small number of ships. It would be unwise to—”
“It would be unwise to doubt your king, Lancelot.”
He leaned closer. “Please, Arthur,” he whispered. “It looks safe, but there’s a dragon out here.”
I stiffened. “Merlin!” I called, projecting my voice. “Your laziness is giving me cause to doubt you. For God’s sake, conjure us some cover!”
“Yes, sir!” she said, lifting her hands to the boats.
The wind picked up, suddenly heavy and wet. A thick fog settled in around the boats. Just as a hint of satisfaction settled in, the fog began to bleed and swirl with a dark purple color.
“Merlin!” I yelled, as the violet food obscured my vision. It was so dense that it hardly let daylight through. “Merlin! What the hell is this?”
“Sorry, Your Highness. It’s been a while since I—”
“You fool! You’re supposed to conceal us, not put a bloody target on us.”
A fierce gust nearly took me off my feet and slammed the boats together, but a moment later we stood in a colorless fog so thick the enemy wouldn’t see us until we knocked at the castle door.
As the last of our men loaded onto our concealed ships, my thoughts once again turned to my Uncle Roger’s final words to me: “Legends are written not by the man who endeavors to become one but by those who mourn him.”
47
Charlotte
The enemy has practically arrived. We’d been informed just after Arthur and his men reached the far side of the Jin Sea. It was a moment we’d been preparing for, but no one is ever truly ready for war.
I wrapped my arms around Morgana and put my forehead to hers. “It’s time,” I whispered. “I promise, as soon as there’s no more danger, I’ll come get you.”
I could feel Minseo and Young watching from behind me and see the shadowed forms behind Morgana of Gabriel and Junho through wet lashes.
Morgana sniffed, her voice barely a whisper as she spoke. “You have to be safe,” she said through tearful eyes.
We’d had many discussions over the last few weeks about today, but saying goodbye to her when I knew it could be the last time made my heart ache. A lump rose in my throat, but instead of melting into a puddle of tears as I wanted, I grinned. “Take care of Gabriel and Junho for me. Can you do that?”
She nodded, her curls bouncing sporadically around her head.
“Will you make sure they have breakfast and drink lots of tea?”
She nodded again, this time wiping her nose and face with the back of her hand and smiling softly.
“My turn,” Minseo said, kneeling to Morgana and pulling her out of my arms and in for a hug.
“Be good,” he said. But another wave of sadness hit her and a fresh line of tears streaked her cheek.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Minseo lifted one arm and bent it at the elbow toward his shoulder. “Do you see this muscle?”
Morgana patted at Minseo’s bicep, objectively taking a moment to appraise him before nodding.
“It’s strong, right?” Minseo continued. “I�
��m going to keep everyone safe.”
I stood to give them a bit of space as Minseo hugged her one last time. “I love you, little girl.”
“I love you, Minnow,” she said, her voice muffled by his neck as she nestled closer.
Next, Young stepped forward. I’d hardly spoken a word to him since our fight. It was obvious he didn’t agree with sending Morgana away, but he gave little resistance since I’d overruled him. Luckily, Morgana didn’t seem to sense any animosity between us, even if I’d put an immediate end to their “hiking” sessions.
Young hugged her but alarm bells sounded inside me when a whispered conversation passed between them. I knew I’d look like a monster if I intervened. Luckily, Morgana always wore her emotions on her face. I waited for her to pull away so I could read the gist of their conversation. Morgana’s eyes lowered to the ground thoughtfully. Suspicion bubbled beneath my skin as I watched, but just as quickly as her face had turned thoughtful, it brightened and she waved me over for one final goodbye.
I kissed the top of her head, feeling the wisp of her soft curls on my face. I stood and walked over to Gabriel and Junho.
“So, Junho’s going too?” I asked, my gaze moving between them. I knew exactly what that meant, and I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to make them squirm as they’d so blatantly done when I first got together with Minseo. “It’s about time.”
Junho bit back a smile.
Gabriel said, “How do you know he’s not just trying to get out of the battle?”
Junho shoved Gabriel’s shoulder. “Stop,” he said with a smile. “You know I feel bad about that.” Gabriel reached for Junho to steady himself, their fingers locking together and lingering for a moment before dropping to their side.
My chest warmed as I watched them. They were two of the most gentle and loving men I’d known. They were the family that Morgana deserved, and I was comforted to know that if I were to die in battle, Morgana’s life would continue to be filled with love and happiness.
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