by Ashley Jade
“I don't see anything wrong with you, Ricardo. But if you need me to be your hero, I'm up to the challenge.”
That response causes him to suck my bottom lip into his mouth and plunge two fingers inside me. “As long as I'm around, I'll keep killing.”
“I don't care.”
He bites my lip, drawing blood this time. “I can't stop, Lou-Lou.”
“So don't—”
I'm cut off when he seizes my lips and curls those long fingers inside me, taunting the spot that will make me come undone.
I bite his shoulder and slap at his back when he removes his hand right when I'm on the brink. “Asshole.”
He tugs my hair back and exposes my throat. “That's right,” he rasps as he sinks his teeth into my flesh and slams me into the door with the flashing exit sign above us.
The irony isn't lost on me.
I wrap my legs around his waist. “I love you, Ricardo. Nothing will ever change that, kill whoever you need to in order to take the pain away. Kill whoever you need to in order to chase those demons of yours away. I'll still be by your side.”
I rip open his shirt and kiss the spot above his heart. “Because that's where I belong. I don't fit anywhere else but in here.”
He slips two fingers under my jaw, lifting my head to look at him.
When I do, he kisses me again, damn near suffocating me with the potency of his love.
I open my mouth to tell him I need him inside me but moan when I feel the tip of his cock start to enter me, taking his sweet time, torturing me like only he can.
“Fuck,” we both exhale at the same time when he's fully inside me and I can't help but smile, because even after all this time, it still feels just as good.
But then his eyes darken and lock with mine...right before he thrusts into me so hard I can't tell if it's more pleasurable or painful...or the perfect combination of both.
He pulls back and thrusts into me again, this time harder than the first. His eyes are daring me to protest, daring me to tell him I've had enough and I can't take this.
Little does he know, he'll be breaking before I do.
He's a fighter...but I'm a survivor.
And survivors always win in the end.
I lick his neck and nip at his jaw. “Harder.”
The next thrust of his hips nearly splits me in two and I cry out. He does it again, and this time, the force is hard enough it pushes the door I'm pressed against open until we're outside.
Right in the middle of the storm.
I look up into the night sky and nearly drown it's raining so hard.
Our bodies are so wet we're slipping against one another.
He crushes me into the concrete wall of the building, trying to gain traction.
The brick scrapes at the skin of my back with every stroke of his cock.
Ricardo doesn't stop, though, he keeps up those rough and deep thrusts, and I match each and every one of them with one of my own.
I shout his name into the rain as I drag my nails down his back , scratching into his flesh and he pumps into me harder and harder.
My head hits the wall so hard I see stars.
I don't know where his pain begins and my pleasure ends. I don't know if he's literally going to fuck me to death right now.
All I know is that I never want him to stop.
I'd rather be in a world where I feel everything with him than nothing with anyone else. A world where he only protects the elite members of his family and god help the rest. A world where he fucks me so good it actually hurts in the middle of a brutal storm...than ever be without him.
I'll live in the dark with him if that's where he wants to stay, I won't ever let him be alone again.
“I love you,” I say into his ear. “I love you so much, Ricardo.”
Thunder erupts above us, it's so loud it causes my ears to ring as he pumps inside me again, this time granting me that sweet release.
I clench and squeeze around him, pulling him deeper inside me until he's losing the battle along with me and we're both unable to hold on so we both let go.
I'm floating, so high on him I know I won't ever come down.
That is until his hand wraps around my neck and he starts to squeeze.
I can feel the sins pumping through his veins, I can feel the anger and rage simmering inside him.
His grip tightens and he slowly cuts off my air supply.
For three painful beats of my heart our eyes lock and I think he's actually going to kill me.
My chest heaves, the combination of the heavy rain and his own hand taking life from me, but I don't protest and I don't stop him.
Because I don't have to.
Because I know him better than he knows himself.
Because when he's lost his way, I know how to bring him back.
He was right before, I'm not his cure...but I want to be the balm to soothe that ache inside of him.
I want to be the one to hold his hand through it all, the one he can come to when the world becomes too much.
The rain is pouring down in buckets making it hard to see, but I feel his armor start to break. I feel my Ricky break for me when he releases his hand and buries his face into my neck. "I need to go away for good. I'm in a dark place, Lou-Lou. A place I won't ever be able to escape."
His hands grab at the fabric of my dress until he's hugging me so tight it makes me want to cry, but I stand my ground.
“I know you are,” I tell him, cradling his face so he can look at me. “Because I've been here the whole time."
His heart pounds against mine and I wrap my arms around him tighter, refusing to let him go. "I've been here waiting for my missing piece to find me in the dark."
"I can't pull you out of the dark, baby.” There's defeat in his voice and my heart drops. “I'll only suck you into it further, not rescue you from it.”
In a move that's as risky as it is vital, I pull him into a kiss. When his tongue strokes mine and I can tell he's losing himself in me, I reach for his gun.
He tries to stop me but I'm too quick this time.
I hold it up to my head and cock it and he looks at me like I've lost what's left of my mind.
“I don't know how else to make you understand.” His eyes flash with fear when I dig the gun into my temple and he sees that I'm dead serious.
“I don't know how to make you stay, so I guess I'm going with you. Because where you lead I follow.”
He opens his mouth but I put my finger up to his lips so I can finish saying what he needs to hear. “I'll fight any battle beside you, Ricardo. I'll keep shining the light so you can see and find your way back to me. But you don't get to leave...not without me going with you. So choose our destination. Either you're staying here with me, or I'm following you straight into hell.”
He maneuvers the gun out of my hand and cups my face. “I love you. So fucking much.”
“And I love you.” I fall into his arms as lightning flashes across the sky above us. “I'm not sure where we go from here or how we'll end up...but you leaving me is never the answer. We started off as a tragedy, Ricky. We don't end as one.”
Three weeks later...
Chapter 39 (Ricardo)
I'm running through the doors of the emergency room with my heart in my throat.
I grab some nurse and force her to tell me where my girl is. When she looks confused, I'm about to charge and rip her to pieces, but then I hear Tyrone calling my name frantically from the end of the hall.
I run full speed ahead. I don't know what the hell is going on, but when Lou-Lou called me in hysterics and said she was on her way to the hospital, I dropped everything.
And I mean everything...including the rapist waiting for me at the warehouse. I'll deal with that sack of shit later.
Because there's nothing more important than Lou-Lou.
Tyrone eyes the large bandage wrapped around my hand and forearm briefly but he's too choked up right now to form words.
&
I love these people and I don't want to threaten them, especially since they're so upset, but if someone doesn't tell me what's going on in the next two seconds I'm going to lose my fucking shit.
I feel Momma's hand on my shoulder and I spin around. “What happened?”
She swallows hard through her own tears. “Alyssa, she's—”
I let myself feel relief for a moment, thankful it's not Lou-Lou.
Then I march right through the door.
I'm almost positive I'm not allowed in here, and I probably shouldn't be in here, but I don't care.
My stomach sways when I enter the room which is flooded with a sea of medical personnel. Alyssa's currently shouting at them all to stay the fuck away from her.
Lou-Lou's with a distraught Jackson on the sidelines trying to comfort him. I don't know what's happening but I do notice Alyssa's bleeding and that can't be a good thing.
My heart sinks and I squeeze Jackson's shoulder.
He turns to face me, appearing to be fighting his hardest to keep it together.
“What—”
“Her blood pressure was slightly elevated during yesterday's appointment. The doctor ordered some tests and told her to take it easy and he would phone her with the results. We went home after and she rested like he told her to.”
He rubs his neck and looks down at the floor. “When she woke up this morning, she was complaining of bad cramps. She went to the bathroom and there was blood. I called her doctor and he said to bring her straight here.”
He holds himself steady against the wall. “The doctor told me her placenta separated and she's starting to lose blood.” He rubs his eyes. “They want to save the baby, but the only way of saving him is if they can get Alyssa's bleeding under control and she has an emergency c-section soon.”
His voice cracks and he buries his face in his hands, unable to continue speaking.
That's when Lou-Lou looks at me. “She's only 31 weeks and when she asked the doctor about the baby's chance of survival and he didn't give her a guarantee, she got really upset—she refuses to let anyone touch her now and she's refusing to go into surgery.”
“She's so scared,” Jackson whispers. “She let them give her a steroid shot when we arrived, but other than that, she won't let anyone talk to her anymore; not even me. Every time I do, she just—”
“She's not exactly what you would call pleasant right now, especially to Jackson,” Lou-Lou says. “The doctors and nurses are pressuring him to make a decision because time is of the essence, but Alyssa keeps screaming that the baby's not ready to come out yet and that he needs more time. Jackson thought it might help if I come in here and talk to her. I haven't yet, but I'm going to. I'm just not sure there's anything I can say to calm her fears. I'm afraid I'll only make them worse.”
She looks up at me through glassy eyes and I go to reach for her hand but Momma enters the room just then.
She kisses Lou-Lou's cheek and hands her a bag. “I was able to get what you asked me for, sugar.”
“Thank you.” She looks around the room. “I—um. Can some of you leave please?”
Lou-Lou starts walking toward Alyssa. “I need to have a private conversation and unless you're the doctor or family, I'd rather not do it in front of everyone.”
She looks at Penelope who nods and starts ushering people out.
Alyssa doesn't yell or curse when Lou-Lou sits down on the bed and I hear Jackson's sigh of relief.
Lou-Lou whispers something low enough that only Alyssa can hear and my stomach knots when Alyssa starts crying even harder.
Jackson's about to walk over, but Lou-Lou hands her the bag.
When Alyssa pulls out a plush bunny, my heart shatters like glass.
Thumper.
Lou-Lou whispers something else to Alyssa and this time, whatever she says must be the right thing to say because Alyssa nods and wraps her arms around her.
Lou-Lou quickly calls Jackson over. Alyssa hands him the bunny and he promises that he'll find a way to get the bunny into the operating room with them.
A moment later, he leans over and kisses her.
A second after that, the doctor starts barking out orders and the room becomes a circus.
I reach for Lou-Lou's hand in the middle of the chaos and we walk out of the room.
She doesn't say a word to me or anyone else in the waiting room. She just curls up in my lap, closes her eyes, and rests her head against my chest.
I rock her in my arms and I tell her how much I love her, how strong she is, and that she's not alone.
An hour later Jackson walks into the waiting room, bunny in hand; looking like the happiest man in the whole entire world.
“The baby's in NICU for observation, but I have a healthy son!” He looks up to the ceiling. “And a healthy Alyssa.”
There are hugs and cheers all around.
“I'm so fucking happy for you, brother.” I pull Jackson into a hug. “Congratulations, you're gonna be the best damn dad in the world.”
He grins from ear to ear. “Thank you.” He looks around. “Where's Lou-Lou? I need to thank her for before.”
I scan the waiting room but don't see her either. She was here just a moment ago. How the hell did she slip past everyone?
I look down the hallway and check the cafeteria.
Then intuition hits me right in the gut...I know exactly where she is.
The wooden door creaks when I open it and walk inside the dimly lit church.
My heart pounds and sorrow fills my blood when I see her strike a match and light the votive candle, the tears falling down her face like rain.
If there was ever anything I could ever wish for in the world—it would be to give her back what was taken from us.
Because no one deserves to be a mother more than my Lou-Lou does. No one has more love in her heart to give.
I take a few steps forward but stop and stare at her, wishing I could erase the past and all the horrible things that have happened to her.
I don't deserve good things. I never will.
But Lou-Lou?
She deserves every bit of happiness.
My girl deserves the whole entire world.
And for reasons I'll never understand, she wants me in that world, right beside her.
It's something I won't ever take for granted.
She calls my name and I'm next to her a moment later, holding her as she falls apart in my arms.
I'm not going to ask her if she's okay because I know she's not. I'm not going to tell her it will get better, because the ache will always be there.
She drops to the floor and I fall too, assuring her that I'm here with her for as long as she needs me to be, because that's the one thing I can do.
“I'm happy for them, Ricky,” she says after a few moments have gone by.
“I know you are, baby.” I plant a kiss on her forehead. “But it's okay to be sad too if you need to be.”
She snuggles against me and I brush my lips along her tear stained cheeks. I rub those little circles up and down her back that I know soothe her and her sobs finally begin to subside.
She looks down at the dressing on my hand and her brows furrow. “What happened?”
My heart speeds up, because this isn't the time to show her.
It's on the tip of my tongue to lie to her, but I promised her I never would again.
I promised I'd never leave her in the dark.
When she looks back up at me, the glow from the candles dance across her face, illuminating her.
My breath stills in my chest and I'm reminded that the darkness needs a light to reflect the most beautiful things in the world...the moon, the stars...and her.
My palms are sweaty and my heart is beating so hard I'm afraid I might pass out before I can get the words out.
I'm hoping like hell that she still wants the man in front of her. The man who will never deserve her.
I take off my shirt right after and she looks even more confused.
“What—”
I pull back the dressing that starts on my left hand—my finger to be exact, and show her the stem that's tattooed around my left ring finger.
I peel off the next bandage—the one that covers my arm, and show her the dandelion seeds that are scattered everywhere, yet point to one distinct destination.
She's sobbing again but I know this time they're happy tears.
At least I sure as fuck hope they are.
I stand up, hold my breath, and remove the final bandage. The one that's over my left pectoral muscle.
I show her her name which is spelled out in delicate seeds first. Her hands fly to her face a moment later when she takes in the gigantic dandelion right over my heart.
The organ that's hers for however long she wants it.
Lou-Lou hates jewelry, so I sure as shit wasn't going to get her an engagement ring.
She stands up. “You—”
“Want to make all your wishes come true, Lou-Lou.”
I pull her in for a kiss since I can't help myself. “But I was hoping maybe you could make one of mine come true, too,” I murmur against her lips before I claim her mouth again.
I can feel her lips curve into a smile and my heart damn near soars. “What wish would that be?”
“Marry me?”
Her mouth parts in surprise and I continue, “You don't have to take my last name. You don't have to—”
She jumps into my arms so quick I almost don't have time to catch her. “I'm yours. I want every part of you, Ricky.”
I pull back and look into her eyes. I'm not one for the mushy shit, but Lou-Lou deserves the mushy shit, so I'll give it to her.
“You want a truth?”
She grins and nods. “You know I do.”
“Truth—I promise to cherish, love, and nurture every piece of you, Lou-Lou. I'd tell you until the day I die, but I think we'd both know I'd be lying because what we have transcends death.”
“Every piece?”
I hold her jaw between my fingers. “Every single piece, Lou-Lou.”
She closes her eyes and trembles. For a moment I think I've said something horribly wrong, until she opens her eyes and gives me a smile that lights her entire face. “Even the pieces that are made up of you?”
-->