by Cee Smith
Before I abducted Hailey, she and Adam were as close as Hailey and Jessa—they went everywhere together. Hailey told me about how it was to grow up with him, how even before her parents’ car accident and before Adam’s parents took Hailey and Jessa in, Adam was like the brother they never had. They lived on the same block and played together since they were old enough for play-dates. It was only as they got older that he started treating her less like the sister she was and more like the girl he wanted to date. Except, he couldn’t see Hailey for the woman she truly was. No one could.
She spent so many years trying to be everything that her family expected of her, everything she thought they wanted from a daughter or sister. They didn’t see her the way I did. To them she was quiet, meek, accepting. It wasn’t until I took her that she was able to become the woman she is now. I liberated her, showed her her own self-worth and what true independence looked like. Hailey was like wet clay ready to be molded; she just needed the right hands to sculpt her to perfection. On the day we married, I vowed to her that I would see to it that she become the woman I knew she could be.
Hailey started to worry her lips between her teeth, chewing the skin ragged, drawing my eyes to the obvious signs of her distress. After staring at her for minutes, she finally turned her head to face me, but even then I felt like she wasn’t really looking at me. Her gaze passed through me into an abyss that left me feeling locked out.
I kneeled down in front of her chair, scooping her into my arms and sat back down with her in my lap.
“How could he?” Her voice hitched as she sucked back a sob.
It gutted me to see her like this. I never wanted Hailey to hurt again, not after what I did. Watching her face flush red and tears paint her face made me feel helpless. My idea of fixing this problem would include something a little more permanent, which I knew would only hurt Hailey more, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I shushed her, my voice barely breaking above the sobs that wrangled free from her body as a torrent of angry and pained tears rained down her cheeks.
“I know, baby. I know. It’s OK.”
As if a thought hit her, she scrambled up, hands fisting across her cheeks as she wiped her dampened skin.
“How dare he do this to our family! I can’t believe him. You know what? I want to hear it with my own ears. I’m gonna call him. See if he’s too chicken shit to admit what he did.”
“Calm down. You haven’t given yourself enough time to even process what I’ve said.”
“No, fuck that. I don’t need to process shit. I could kill him for this.”
Her shoulders were rigid boulders—all sharp edges encased in soft skin, and her knuckles looked swollen as her fists clenched at her sides. From collarbone to forehead, her skin flared red, a scalded anger that only seem to brighten the blonde color of her hair.
“Sit down,” I said in a voice I hoped portrayed my understanding yet control of the situation. It was a delicate line we were toeing. There was no doubt that when it came to our relationship, I was still very much in control, but I knew when it was time to be assertive and when to let her have free rein to be the stubborn Hailey that I loved.
I could see that she was fighting every inclination to obey and that it would take more than nice words, so when I told her to sit down again, I wiped all niceness from my expression. She pulled out the chair to my right and the legs screamed against the floor as she dragged it on its back legs. She let the chair drop back on all fours before assaulting it, throwing all 120 pounds of herself onto the seat.
“I wanted you to invite Jessa because you need support right now. Something only your sister would be able to provide. You need to wait until she gets here to figure out what to do with your brother.”
“You don’t think I can handle my brother?” she asked, offended.
“I know you can handle your brother, but seeing as how this affects your whole family, I think you should talk to him when your emotions aren’t running so high. When you’ll be able to think clearly and when you’ve had a chance to think about what it is you even want to say to him. If you call right now, you won’t do anything but vent all of your frustrations. You can do that with me. But if you want answers, you need to be in a frame of mind where you’ll be able to ask questions coherently. Do you understand?”
“When can Jessa get here?”
“I’ve already booked the flight. It leaves SBA tomorrow at 2 p.m. and will land here at 10:33.”
“Can I pick her up with Scout?”
“Yes.”
“Alone?”
“Yes. I actually think it would be best if I stay at a hotel tomorrow. You’re going to need to talk to Jessa without fear, and if I’m here, you won’t be able to say what you need to say.”
When I bought Jessa’s ticket, I knew that I wouldn’t be staying at the condo, at least for the first night, but I didn’t really know how Hailey would take the suggestion. We hadn’t spent a day apart since my liver transplant nine months ago.
Hailey sucked her lips in and nodded her head in agreement. Her eyebrows dipped and her mouth wrinkled with the displeasure of my words, but she knew I was right. My presence would only confuse her and probably piss off Jessa. I trusted Hailey implicitly. I knew that I could trust that she would make the right decision in choosing what to tell her sister.
“Come here,” I said in a low grumble. I patted my legs, pushing away from the table to give her space to resume her place in my lap.
When she moved to sit down, I could tell the conversation had calmed her some. She released an exhaustive breath, her chest deflating like day-old balloons. She sat in my lap and nestled into my chest, seeking comfort. I rubbed my cheek against hers. “It’s going to be OK,” I whispered into her ear. With a soft touch, I ran my fingertips across her temples and through the silky strands that fell past her shoulders, trapped between our bodies.
“Now cheer up. You don’t want Ellie to see you upset, do you?”
“She’s only four months old. It’s not like she’d be able to tell.”
“Then cheer up for me, because I hate to see you so upset.”
“You only hate it when it’s not you who upsets me.”
“Of course. Now let me finish making us breakfast, and we’ll spend the day together. How does that sound?”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.”
She turned around to face me, her denim eyes twinkling with a subtle look of appreciation. I smacked her thigh twice—breaking the moment—and she lifted off my legs with less enthusiasm.
***
“There’s my little girl,” Hailey sang as she stretched her arms out to take a wide-eyed Ellie from Clema. It was the first real smile I’d seen pass her face since that morning’s revelation, and I was happy for the brief reprieve from the troubled expression that had marred her otherwise beautiful face.
“I think someone’s hungry. She’s been a bit fussy since she woke up.”
Still wearing one of those easy-access bras, Hailey took Ellie in her arms, lifted up her shirt, and propped open the side of her bra to begin feeding our daughter. She cradled her in one arm and picked up her fork to continue eating the pancakes and bacon I made for us.
Clema didn’t sit and eat with us as she usually did every morning, and I didn’t put too much thought into it, assuming that she was giving us the space that we needed.
“Here, let me,” I said removing the fork from Hailey’s hand. She gifted me a gentle smile as our fingers brushed.
There was something about watching her with my daughter that made my chest ache. She was such an amazing woman, and I never imagined how she would be as a mother, but she far exceeded my expectations. She was so patient, and despite all of the help Clema and I offered her, she was adamant about being more hands-on with Ellie.
A huge grin beamed across her face as I moved the fork closer to her mouth. Her lips wrapped around the tines and she made an mmm sound as she closed her eyes to chew.
&n
bsp; “Keep making that sound and we’ll be making another baby right here on this table.”
She jerked a little, coughing around the food she was still chewing. She swallowed what looked like a thick amount of food before responding.
“Dominic.” She drew out my name in mock chiding. She continued whispering as if Ellie would understand her, “Do you think we could get through breakfast without bringing up fucking in front of your daughter? The arm holding a feeding Ellie lifted, nudging Ellie higher in her arms as if I had forgotten my daughter was suckling at her breast.
I speared a couple pieces of pancake, lifting the fork again as I said, “You tell me? Do you think we could make it through breakfast?”
She laughed gingerly, shaking her head at me while opening her mouth wide enough to snatch the food off the fork.
Breakfast continued this way, me feeding Hailey, Hailey feeding our little girl, until both girls seemed to be full and Hailey took Ellie into the living room to burp her. I finished eating my breakfast while thinking how the next week or so would go.
When the news first hit that they would be reporting rumors surrounding Hailey’s disappearance last spring, I sat down with my lawyers and the company’s PR reps to go over the next course of action. It was unanimous that I should step down from the board for the time being, and surprisingly, I wasn’t the least bit upset about doing so. Actually, that was the easiest part of the whole mess.
After we returned to New York, I waited a couple weeks after we were settled to return to the office, but I still hadn’t returned to working anywhere near the hours I had before taking Hailey. I didn’t want to leave her with a new baby all alone in a city she was unfamiliar with. She could handle a lot of things, but I didn’t want to push my luck.
What we hadn’t experienced yet, but that the lawyers prepared me for, was how many people would come out of the woodworks with commentary on what kind of person I was. “This is where you find out who your true friends are,” the PR rep, Nancy, said. Her already pruny face shriveled up further when she said this.
As I sat at the table, I thought over everything that had happened since I found out about the announcement almost a week before. It had only been two days since the first report, but it was like a pendulum swinging in my chest counting down the minutes until every woman I’d ever dated, fucked, or spoke to at a bar would come forth to say how they suspected I could do something like this. Because that would be the only reason why they would come forward, right? No one pins themselves to a sinking ship willingly. The only thing I didn’t know was who it would be. I tried mentally flipping through the laundry list of women I knew or even people I’d done business with that wouldn’t mind smearing my name through the mud now that I was at a personal low.
The lawyers recommended I try convening with people I trusted, people who would stand by me no matter what. I barely got two seconds into thinking of Clema and Scout when they said I should look at people not on my payroll. And like water to the flames, that thought was snuffed out, leaving me to sort through the black smog that clouded my mind. There were very few whom I trusted—Robert and his wife, Connie, and an old friend, Jinni.
I asked Robert to join me for a meeting after I’d met with the lawyers. I wanted to know that we were on the same page and that despite everything that was about to be said about me, nothing had really changed between us.
Robert came into my life at a time when I wasn’t even yet aware of how my parents’ disappearance would affect me. He came into Callas Enterprises guns blazing, and I had him to thank for many of our successes since he’d taken over as CEO. This was a man I’d spoken with almost every day for the last eleven years. In a way, I was more concerned about what this would do to our personal relationship than it would our professional one.
When the meeting was over, I shook hands with everyone on their way out, doing my customary job to present my best self when I was feeling anything but. I sat down and waited for Robert to join me. I didn’t wait long because as soon as the door closed, it was opening again. I knew as soon as Robert walked in the door and tossed his blazer over the back of the nearest chair, that everything was still good between us. He was just as devastated by this news as I was.
“So, what did they say?” He tucked his hands in his pockets and stepped closer to the chair that held his jacket. Moroseness seeped into every crease of his wrinkled face. He looked more affected by this news than I was, but I’d spent months dealing with the possibilities of this leak, whereas he’d only had hours.
“I’m stepping down. We’ll make a formal announcement tomorrow.”
“You haven’t even met with the board to see what their thoughts are. I don’t want you rushing into this decision. Don’t let the lawyers scare you. We can fight this.”
“The board will agree because they don’t want negative attention any more than I do. We’ve worked too hard for it to all come crashing down over a rumor. And this is just the start. By the time this is all said and done, my face will be on every magazine, across every news station brandishing me as some kind of monster. I can’t have that associated with Callas Enterprises any more than it already is.”
Robert pulled out the chair at the end of the long wooden table and sat down as if the weight of my words cut him off at the knees. His eyebrows, which were already slightly droopy in his old age, hung low over his eyes until their ice-water blue color was barely visible above his wiry eyebrows. He moved his hand across his gelled hair, loosening the salt and pepper strands from confinement.
I was drowning in the silence of the room—a room that was typically overflowing with a cacophony of voices all vying to be heard. This wasn’t the time or place to feel nostalgic, but I couldn’t deny the feeling that encroached on my every thought as I sat across from Robert in the vacant conference room.
“I know you would never do anything like this, especially after what happened to your parents, but can you explain why she was at the ball?” His question punctured the air, and the “home-y” feeling that started to blanket me in the calmness of the space dissipated quicker than it’d arrived. That’s one way to get my attention.
That was the one question I least expected when Robert stepped into the room. I should have known better. I must have been losing my touch because I didn’t come prepared with answers to questions. With everything that had happened over the last week and with very few people knowing that my wife, Hailey, was the same woman I showed up with at the Founder’s Ball the previous year, it was a question I didn’t see coming.
“Out of respect for Hailey, I won’t go into details, but I found Hailey some time after she’d been captured, and she stayed with me briefly before I helped her get home.”
He nodded his affirmation as if my words were gospel, as if the man that sat before him was bound by an oath forbidding such things as lies, as if I was a man worthy of the kind of trust he offered.
“You know, I don’t know if I ever told you this, but when Carl recommended I apply here, I didn’t want to go through with it. I knew about your parents and knew it would be one of the hardest transitions I’d ever encountered. I saw a picture of you on the news. Christ, you were so young. You were a baby. Very bright, but I knew you wouldn’t know what to do with a company like this. Not at that age. Besides, you had just started college. You were in no position to run a company. And you had this look. You weren’t outright devastated at the loss of your parents, but you were void of something. It was that image of you that changed my mind.”
He took a long pause, fortifying himself for the next words he would speak and I just waited, enraptured by the words I’d never heard before. It was almost like being a witness at my own eulogy. These were the types of words someone uttered over your casket, in the company of others that knew you well so they could all hmm and hah about how those words were so true.
“I’ve always treated you with the respect of a peer, but honestly you’ve been more like a son to Connie and me. I’v
e watched you grow from that despondent boy on the news into a man that is bright and fully capable of running this company on his own. The fact that you’ve kept me around is honoring.” He shook his head as a tickle of a laugh escaped his mouth. His lips quirked up as if he’d just remembered some long-forgotten memory.
“I’ve kept you around because you’ve worked hard for this company. There is no one else that I trust more to run this company than you. I’m not dying. I won’t be a part of the board, but if you need anything, I’ll still be around.” I paused, shifting in my chair as I searched for the right words. It felt like his words had finally been translated, and I just realized what he was saying. I’d been without a father for so long, I didn’t know how to be anyone’s son. I didn’t even think I wanted that type of commitment to another person, the responsibility of having someone affected by my life choices in an emotional capacity. I had Hailey and Ellie, and that was the extent of my emotional well. There wasn’t room for any more. But I couldn’t deny the truth in Robert’s words. We did have a closeness that resembled a father and son. I’d never taken much time to analyze it, and truthfully, I didn’t want to while he looked on with that look of longing in his eyes.
“Just because I won’t be hands-on with Callas doesn’t mean anything. Nothing between us has to change, OK? Now, I’m going to head out before they get security on me.”
“That’s an awful joke.”
Robert stood up and made his way around the table. I followed his lead, standing up with my hand outstretched to take his, but he looked down at my hand in disgust.
“I know it’s not professional, but I’m giving you a hug as a friend, not as your CEO.”