by Cee Smith
“Actually, we’re on a bit of a family trip.”
“Oh,” she said stunned. “Why didn’t you call us to let us know you were leaving? Wait. Unless you just went to Jersey or something.”
“No, Mom. We’re not in New Jersey.”
“It was my idea, Mom,” Jessa piped up, seeing the struggle written on my face. I never was very good at confrontation, or guilt for that matter, and I was feeling it in spades.
“I suggested that we get away from the chaos of New York. I think Hailey needed a break. We’re in Italy. Catanzaro, to be exact. It was kind of spontaneous of us to go. Sorry we didn’t give you a heads up.”
“You’re both adults so you can go anywhere you’d like, but I’ll just say I’m disappointed that you’re just now calling me to tell me you’ve left the country. What if something happened to you?”
I winced as the question felt like a slap coming through the phone. We all knew what could happen on vacations. I was sure she didn’t mean to insinuate what happened in Australia, but that’s where my mind traveled as soon as she mentioned things happening.
“I’m sorry, Mom. You’re right. We don’t want you to worry about us. We’re actually staying at a secluded resort with security, if that makes you feel better.”
“Are you girls having fun? What have you been up to?”
I liked the smooth transition she’d made, silently forgiving us for our lapse in communication.
“Things have been nice. We just got here last night. Right now we’re in this little village eating gelato.”
“Sounds like you’re living the life. So when are you going to have a chance to head back out this way? Your dad misses you, too. I know he’d love to see you.”
“I think we’ll be here for a few weeks, but maybe we’ll be able to squeeze in a trip home on our way back. How does that sound?”
Jessa licked the flecks of gelato dotting the underside of her spoon and winked at me, applauding my effort. Funny enough, it wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be. The conversation was light with only the occasional feeling of guilt and insecurity.
“That sounds good. We’ll try not to beg you to stay this time, but I make no promises. Have you given any thought as to what you girls want to do now that you’re out of school? Jessa, have you been looking at jobs since you’ve left to New York?”
Jessa froze with the ascent of her spoon to her mouth. It was my fault that she was now jobless. She downplayed the importance of her job and left her first post-college job without looking back, just with a simple call that I wanted, no needed, her to be with me in New York. She knew that she wouldn’t have to worry about money as we would happily take care of any of her expenses and then some, but that wasn’t the point.
She shook her head gently to me, while reassuring our mom that we would be fine and she didn’t need to worry about us. Thankfully, after realizing how much Dominic was worth, she stopped offering to pay for things for me. I wasn’t too sure she wasn’t still offering to care for Jessa.
“And what about you, Hailey? Are you thinking you want to stay home with Ellie for a while, or have you started thinking about what you want to do?”
“Um. I haven’t had the time to really think about what I want to do. At least not yet. I’ve been keeping busy with Ellie and with everything else that’s going on.”
My voice drowned out as everything that’d happened in the last year cycled through my mind. It just reminded me of the strength I didn’t know I’d had. A lesser person would be sitting in a white padded room after everything I’d been through. The emotional toll of it all was sometimes a lot to think about, let alone to relive.
“And how are you doing with that? The news here has died down a bit, but I’m still worried about you guys.” I like that she now includes Dominic in her worries of me. It’s nice to know that she hasn’t so easily bought into the tabloid fodder.
“It’s…we’ll be fine. We just needed a break from it all, especially with being in New York and being so close to Callas Enterprises. Dominic needs this.”
“Your father and I do worry about the toll this is taking on everyone.” I stuff some ice cream in my mouth to avoid the anger that simmers on the tip of my tongue. I knew who she was thinking of when she said “everyone.” Adam.
“Your brother’s not handling all of this that well.”
Thankfully, my parents were still in the dark as to his involvement in the tabloid fiasco. I wasn’t sure how they would feel knowing that their son was the source of my current problems.
“Yeah, well, Adam hasn’t exactly been supportive since I’ve been back.”
“Honey, I think he’s just had a hard time dealing with it. Think about it. You three were so close and then to lose you…I think it was a lot to deal with. And now with these rumors…unfortunately, I think he just needs an outlet for his anger. Your father and I have tried convincing him that you’re safe and happy with Dominic, but he doesn’t want to hear it. We don’t really know what else to say to him. The most we can all do is wait it out.”
“I don’t want to talk about Adam. We’re on vacation, it’s a nice day, I’m eating gelato…” I listed off all of the reasons why we didn’t need to be having that conversation, but it was too late; the damage was already done. What she didn’t know was that simply vacationing in a new place without Adam was reminder enough of the contention between us.
“Sweetie, you have one of the kindest hearts I’ve ever known. You may be angry with him, but he’s still your brother. He cares about you, about both of you. I hope that when he comes to his senses that you’ll have the same heart that can offer him forgiveness because he’ll need that.”
“Well, all I can say is Adam better get his shit together soon, or he’s going to have a problem with me, too.” Jessa kicked up a smirk as she leaned over the table to speak closer to the phone so the people emerging from the shop next door couldn’t hear our conversation.
“Jessa! Language.”
“What? It’s true. Hailey doesn’t deserve this. He needs to stop being so selfish. He’s a damn baby. We’re all trying to move on. What’s he doing? Really? Do you guys even know?”
“That’s enough. We just need to give him some space so he can figure this out in his own way. Just as Hailey needs to see someone for her…we’ve told Adam the same thing. He needs to talk to someone because your father and I have said all we can say to help him, and nothing’s working at this point. He’s been doing some consulting and helping your father with some programming, but he seems a bit lost right now.”
Mom sniffled and we both knew that she was crying on the other end of the phone. She always was a bit emotional. It’s what made her a good mother. I just never let her get close enough to be too affected by it, but now when I thought of her crying for us, for her children, it pulled at something in my chest. Perhaps, it was because I was a mother now. Just the thought of Ellie being sad or hurt brought tingles, an impending sign that tears were threatening to form.
“Mom, don’t worry. Look, we’re about to get out of here, but we just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”
“I’m glad you girls called. I know your dad will be upset he wasn’t here to say hello.”
“Tell him hi and we miss h—”
“We miss you both!” Jessa shouted over me.
“We miss you, too. Let us know when you plan on coming out this way.”
“Will do.”
We ended the call with “goodbyes” and “I-love-yous.”
I slumped down in my chair as I reached to scoop the remaining gelato from the container. That call was as emotionally draining as I’d suspected it would be. I wondered how long it would be before I didn’t hang up with them with an overwhelming sense that everything they knew now was a lie. Or, how long it would be before I no longer cared.
I watched the forest blur from the window of the passenger seat—the density of the trees creating an inky blanket across the already darke
ned sky. The scenery seemed to project my current mood. In fact, the only hint of light through the tunnel of my thoughts and all we had learned while in Chicago was the woman I would be seeing as soon as the car stopped. Hailey.
It’s funny that it would be her that would keep me from fading into the darkest depths of my mind. It was always her. Hailey kept the anger of unanswered questions at bay. While watching her from afar, my days filled with what I wanted to do to her, what I planned to do to her, until soon my anger was forgotten. Those curvy hips and bronzed skin, that golden curtain of hair and those midnight blue eyes, her soft skin and radiant smile. Just thinking about the body that waited for me beneath silken covers had me squirming in my seat, trying to relieve the hard-on that the thought of her brought on. That was the power she had over my body. All I needed to do was think of her and my body was enslaved to her.
It only took one thought to have my wave of euphoria come crashing down. Our trip to Chicago was the tip of the iceberg as far as the things we would learn about Zephyr and his illegal activities. As soon as we left Ezra’s house, I had Scout start gaining intel on the man that had reportedly killed my family. Well, at that point I wasn’t 100% sure that my family was dead, but I hoped for their sakes that they were because by the sound of this man and what he was capable of—I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Scout was still gathering information, but from what we had already learned, Zephyr wasn’t above killing, raping, or mutilating. If you were unlucky enough to cross paths with him, then there wasn’t a line that he wouldn’t cross when it came to torture.
I have a pretty strong stomach, but even some of the pictures I’d seen made me queasy. I swallowed the bile that rose from my throat, promising to use that as reminder for when I came face to face with the man responsible for my parents’ death. The thought of ripping the flesh from his bones sprayed a red mist across my mind. I felt my inner monster unfurl in this feeling, stretching the muscles that had coiled tight. My blood seemed to slow in my veins, and every bone cracked with anticipation for the moment that would end the pain I’d endured for over a decade.
I finally had an end-goal, a name, a face. I had someone to blame for my loss, for the destruction of my world, and for the ten years of loneliness I’d endured. What I didn’t expect when I sought out answers was the truth of my parents.
My betrayal stung. The belief that my parents were bad people was something that shamed me to think, now that I knew the truth. What was worse was that they weren’t around to beg forgiveness for disbelieving their true character. Why didn’t my father trust in me to tell me what he was doing for his people? I could have helped. All of those times that Clema had to pick up where my parents left off—how angry I was with their absence from my life—and all to help people. A sense of pride swelled in me at the thought of how many people my parents helped save, but the feeling that kept returning was guilt.
What would my father think of the man I’d become? Especially now that my face was plastered all over the news and I was associated with kidnapping my wife?
Perhaps that was what fueled my hatred for Zephyr, even more. His actions had led to my descent down a path that tied me to men like him. Men capable of hurting, killing, taking. Men without remorse. Anything that had been virtuous about me was stolen the night my parents disappeared. Everything my father had ever taught me about being a good man, about doing what was right, had been washed away. Like a memory of a loved one, it had simply faded until the only thing that remained were thoughts of words that slipped through my fingers like fists full of water.
I’d only experienced this resounding ache and self-loathing once before, when I found out Hailey was pregnant. It was true I treated Hailey like she was an object, a thing to have for my amusement, a piece of meat to heal my failing body, but after we found out she was pregnant, it was like all of my insides had been spooned out, leaving me a vessel of a man. A feeling only magnified with the announcement that we were having a daughter.
All of this with Zephyr made me realize that the man who stole Hailey all those months ago was still buried beneath the surface, hiding behind a happy marriage and beautiful baby.
The car slowed, signaling that we were getting closer. Scout turned off the main street, leading us down a gravel-paved road that ended in the center of the resort. From that far down the road, the glimmer of lights looked like fireflies in the night.
I sat up a little taller, forcing myself to focus on my arrival. Ever since the day Scout found out about the withdrawal of money, Hailey had been anxious about what I was keeping from her. I guess when I thought about it, she was nervous long before Scout’s news. This whole situation with her brother and the news, my stepping down from C.E., and my meeting with Jinni—all of the compounding problems that I tried to keep hidden from her only fueled her fears. She didn’t need to tell me she was scared. I heard it in her voice, felt it in the tenseness of her body, saw it in her furrowed brows and sad eyes. I needed to assure her that everything would be OK. I had no idea what the future held for me once we went after Zephyr, but I needed to be sure that Hailey and my daughter were taken care of.
***
I pressed my thumb against the screen-reader outside the door to our bungalow until the reader beeped—a sound barely heard above the howling winds that seemed to kick up in the short walk from the car to the building.
Before we boarded the plane earlier, I sent Hailey a message that we would be leaving Chicago, so she knew to expect me, but it was after 10 p.m. by the time we finally arrived.
The hallway was only slightly lighter than the shrouding darkness enclosing the resort. Light seemed to ping off the walls, creating the only illumination in the house. I lugged my bag through the door, catching it just before it closed. I settled my bag just inside the door and moved farther down the hall, trying to quiet my movements so as not to wake Ellie.
One of the many bonuses of this resort was the safety. All of the homes came with cameras that I had access to, although it was my home that concerned me the most. So while I had never stepped foot into this home, I knew it inside and out. I knew that the room to the right of the front door was Ellie’s room. I watched Hailey come and go and each time she made an effort to catch the door, which made me think that the door closed heavily.
I placed the bag down and when I turned to stand back up, there she was. Waiting for me at the end of the hall, like the sweetest of dreams. Her skin glowed like candlelight. A tumble of blonde hair cascaded haphazardly across her shoulders and down her breasts, highlighting the swollen breasts that made my mouth water. She wasn’t naked but wore a thin, white negligee that hit her mid-thigh. Hailey was like a mirage, luring me closer, taunting me with what I’d missed. True, I had only been gone a few days, but every day that I went without being inside Hailey was like torture. I felt like my body had all of this contained pressure with no way to release it without her.
When I messaged her earlier, I didn’t tell her what time I would be in, so to see her up and waiting for me did something to me. I knew Hailey missed me when I wasn’t around. I had no doubt of that, but to know that she couldn’t wait the few minutes until I’d made it to the bedroom to see her, brought me the biggest sense of pride that I wasn’t a complete fuck-up when it came to her.
“You’re home. I mean…” her head dipped down shyly, “you’re here.”
“You’re up.”
“What did you expect? You had to know I’d wait for you.”
“How did you even know what time I’d be in?”
“I did the math.”
We both walked slowly down the hall toward each other. Her breath sounded labored—a soft pant of anxiousness—as she prowled closer.
“Stop.”
Seeing the look of hunger in her eyes made me want to see her in her most basic, animalistic nature; I wanted my panther on all fours. She halted abruptly, a mask of confusion marring her face. She was reading to see if I was angry or if she’d off
ended me somehow. I didn’t say anything for several moments as I allowed the moment to sink in—just enough time for my mind to capture a picture I could keep returning to.
“Crawl to me, baby. Let me see that pretty ass in the air.”
Hailey hesitated. She looked to the ground, resolving to the pain that would come from crawling on her hands and knees across hardwood floors. Those large doe eyes bore into mine as she lowered herself to the floor on shaky legs. Once on all fours she looked up as if to see if that was in fact what I wanted, but when I didn’t say anything else—just continued to stare—she began a slow crawl to close the remaining ten feet or so between us.
Her head dropped down and she watched the floor move beneath her with an absent look in her eyes.
“Eyes on me,” my words snapped out, efficient as a whip beneath her chin to thrust her face up until our eyes met. With her eyes solidly focused on mine, I watched her pupils swallow the irises until only pitch black remained. Her shoulders were pulled back, presenting a perfect view of her tits that swayed in unison with her firm hips. The sight of her on her hands and knees, for me, caused the swelling between my legs to thicken and harden to an almost unbearable level. I didn’t think I’d ever been as hungry to fuck her as I’d been at that very moment.
My seductress.
A lesser man would feel threatened by the hungry glow in her eyes or the way she licked her lips as if I were a mere snack to hold her over between meals. That image, those eyes, that hungry tongue only turned me on more because I was the source of that power she exuded. It was what made our connection so explosive. She syphoned control and power like a black hole swallowing a passing galaxy. Lucky me.
“Tell me something I want to hear, matakia mou.”
“I missed you,” she breathed.
“What did you miss?”
“I missed your citrus scent, the feel of stubble between my legs, the vibration of my skin as you tease me with your fingers, the taste of your tongue in my mouth. I missed watching you lose yourself with your cock sliding between my lips.” She remained on all fours as she stopped at my feet, looking up with pink-tinged cheeks and long eyelashes that drew me in like a fly caught in a web.