“I didn’t touch that girl. I swear. Goddamn it. I can’t lose her.” I sat on their doorstep, and Maya joined me with an exaggerated sigh.
“I don’t think you did either, actually.” She gave me a weak smile and explained her answer. “I’ve seen you around her. You’ve changed. She has, too. You’re better together. I don’t think you’d be that stupid to mess it up. Am I right?”
“One hundred percent.”
“I’m confused how all this came about, and the picture is pretty convincing, but why would you make spring break plans if you were going to fuck it up? I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense.”
“She won’t believe me. I saw her, Maya. I saw her face. It was so tortured. She looked numb.”
“Can I give you some advice?”
“Anything.”
She sighed. “I know you love Jenna. Kennedy knows you love Jenna. Jenna doesn’t know you love Jenna. Her brain is at least half the problem. Not her brain, her heart. It’s so guarded and protected by all these walls. Her parents overdosed when she was a kid. Her grandma died, and she witnessed the way her grandpa fell apart.”
“I know all this.”
“Do you understand, then, that she is always waiting for something bad to happen? Whenever she’s happy, she’s terrified it will be taken away from her.”
“So she saw what she saw and assumed the worst because she already thought we’re doomed to fail?”
“I wouldn’t use those words, but what is she to you, Aiden? Your girlfriend? Your significant other? Your partner? Your best friend? What?”
I scoffed. “Everything. I love her.”
“Does she know this?”
“I don’t know how she couldn’t. I just—Fuck.” I dropped my head in my hands.
She placed a hand on my arm. “Have you told her?”
“No. I didn’t want to freak her out. I’ve known how I’ve felt for a while, but I had my own baggage to deal with first. I waited too long.” I groaned.
“It’s not too late.”
“What do I do?”
“Wait for her to come to you,” Maya said softly.
“Thanks, Maya. I, uh, guess I’ll go look for her.”
“You won’t find her.” She stood and patted my arm. “You’re a good man. You’ll figure it out.”
“I won’t let her go,” I vowed.
* * * *
Two days. Forty-eight hours of no contact with Jenna. I felt like a dying man. My eyes were red from lack of sleep. The only thing getting me through the weekend was the hope I would see her in class Monday. Most of my time was spent in bed or working out. Jon and Nate were being great brothers and keeping me busy and away from everyone else.
Monday morning, I got out of bed, showered, and ran to the lecture hall so early that no one had entered the building yet. I grabbed an extra coffee for her, knowing she probably needed it. It was a wasted effort. I was the reason Jenna missed her first college class. She never showed.
We were supposed to leave for our spring break trip that Friday, but the chances were looking slim. I took notes, barely making it through the two-hour lecture. I left the class, seeing someone approach me. I looked up to find the blonde I’d apparently slept with. Fury flooded my veins as I stared her down.
“Aiden, look. Can we talk?”
“Stay the fuck away from me. Don’t come near me.” I held up my hands and backed away, drawing the attention of a crowd near us.
“I really need to talk to you,” she pleaded.
“I have nothing to say to you.” I turned to walk away but heard her run up to me. “Seriously, lady, leave me the hell alone.”
“I made everything up,” she blurted.
“No shit.” I kept walking when she began to cry. I felt nothing.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. I lied for Kam. He paid me. I needed some money for some books. He had your phone, so we staged the texts.”
“You aren’t telling me anything I don’t already know.” I stopped and looked at her with the most hatred I could muster. “What did you expect would happen? You’d get your money and everything would be fine? You fucked with my life. Congrats. It worked.”
Her face crumpled, and she babbled more apologies. I ignored her. I’d had it. I wanted to talk to Jenna, and she needed to man up and deal with the truth. I loved her. I needed her. And she loved me, too.
I walked to the bar and slammed open the door. The bouncer said something to me, but I held up my hand. Everyone looked up. Gage glared at me from behind the bar. I matched his stare.
I walked right up and eyed him up. “I didn’t touch that girl. You don’t believe me? I don’t give a shit. All that matters is what Jenna believes. I love her. I need her.” I paused and smacked my hand on the bar. “Fine. You want to beat my ass? Let’s go. It’ll make me feel something other than complete misery.”
He didn’t say anything, just kept his arms crossed and flexed. I didn’t back down.
I saw Joel standing in the back, biting back a small smile. That was a promising sign.
“Is she here?”
Gage didn’t give away anything, so I sat on the stool. “I’ll be here until she is. She works every Monday.”
Maya said give her time. I had. I was done. If she refused to believe me, then I’d fucking transfer schools.
Grief turned to anger. Jenna wasn’t someone to hide in the shadows and let people speak for her. She grabbed life by the balls. She was the best ball-busting, beer-serving friend I could ask for, and she needed to come back. I was done waiting. Pissing her off had to be the only way to get a reaction.
Aiden: I’ve given you time. Time to face me. Want to end it, then do it to my face. I’m at the bar. I’ll be here until we do this.
Aiden: Don’t be a chicken shit. I love you. I fucking love you. If you want to believe rumors, believe them. If you think I would do that to you, I might as well burn down your bar.
I pocketed my phone, which now had three layers of protection, and waved down Gage. He didn’t look happy with me. “Beer, please. Surprise me.”
He grunted, sliding over some fruity shandy.
“Thanks so much.” I held it up and smiled. He wanted to get all protective with Jenna. I got it. But he didn’t know me. I owed him nothing.
I was halfway done with the beer when I heard the door slam open. I turned around and saw Jenna stalk in with fire in her eyes. She held her helmet in one hand and had the other pointed at me. “You.”
It was all I could do to just breathe. I wanted to run up to her, beg her, force her to believe me. But I didn’t. I sat there with a fake sense of calm. The best thing I could come up with was one syllable. “Hey.”
“Don’t you hey me.” She stood in the middle of the room. “You have some nerve, Aiden Chad.”
I got up and walked right to her. I stopped inches away and bent low enough to see her green eyes widen. “I fucking missed you.” I didn’t wait for permission. I wrapped my arms around her, taking in her scent. I pressed my nose into her hair and squeezed her.
She hugged me back. I almost cried. She pressed her face into my chest, and we stood like that for a full minute. I pulled back, and she hit my chest. I flinched.
“You don’t tell someone you love them in a text, Aiden. You asshole!”
Chapter 43
Actions Speak Louder Than Words-Jenna
HE stood there stock-still. His eyes opened, hands in the air, with a shocked look on his face. “I do, though. I—”
I held up my hand, stopping him short. “No. Let me talk. I have some things I want to say to you. I need you to listen.” I looked around, and everyone and their brother watched us. I wasn’t up for a performance, so I grabbed his hand and dragged him back outside. “I took tonight off by the way.”
“Why’d you show up, then?”
“Your goddamn text.”
“Glad it worked.” He tried grabb
ing my hand, but I swatted him away.
“No, we need to talk first.” I watched his face fall, and I knew I was right. I missed the hell out of him. I loved him. I loved all of him. Even his past, but I needed to get some things straight first. “Let’s sit.”
“Okay.” He sat on the nearby bench and looked up at me, worry etched on his face. His scruff was back. He had bags under his eyes. I just wanted to snuggle up to him.
I stood over him. “You don’t get to say those words to me in a text. That was a cowardly thing to do. Those words are a big deal. They mean something to me.”
“I would have—”
“No, don’t interrupt me.” He tried standing up, but I shoved him down with my hand. He nodded somberly and clasped his hands.
“I saw the picture, and I lost it. I fucking broke down, Aiden. You broke my heart. Well, that picture broke my heart. Every doubt I ever had flooded into my mind. Could a previous player really stay faithful? Could he fall in love? Did he know what love was? Did I expect you to do this the whole time? Did I want us to fail? We never talked about being in a relationship, so technically, you could do what you wanted, so maybe I was just being irrational.”
His face paled.
“One thing we’ve always promised each other is honesty, Aiden. I am being honest. Those things crossed my mind. The first night, I was a mess. A hot, fucking mess.”
He reached out for me, and I let his touch comfort me. I patted his hand and then continued pacing. “I practically forced Joel to take me out on his bike. We drove for probably six hours. Every memory I had with you was a good one.”
I paced around the bench and sat down by a planter. I began picking at the plant, collecting my thoughts. “I have never been one to run away from a challenge or problem in my life. I always face them head-on. I fight for what I want.”
He interrupted me by putting his hand on my shoulder. I never even heard him get up. His voice was deadly calm, but his eyes were filled with emotion. “And what do you want?”
“I want us. We belong together.”
“You believe me?”
“Yes.”
He pulled me into his lap and buried his face in my neck. We remained like that for a couple minutes, the first step to healing our wounds. It would take longer than a day or two to get over what happened. Now we knew we were fighting for each other, it made it all worth it. I ran my fingers through his hair and felt calmer than I had in days.
“I’m sorry this happened. God. I never want to imagine my life without you.” He pressed a light kiss against my mouth, and I felt at home.
“It took me a while to realize this. Okay, this is really hard for me to say.” I sighed but kept going. I owed it to both of us. “I love you. Like the crazy kind of love. When I’m around you, I feel like life isn’t as hard. The kind of love when I think of not being with you, my world seems darker. I love your stupid dimples and the way you always know how to calm me down or change the subject when I’m uncomfortable. I love the way you call me shorty even though I hate the nickname. I love the way you love Mike and how you’re trying to work things out with your family. I love how you’re so loyal to those you care about and would move mountains to make me happy. You’ve shown me for months how you love me with actions, just not words.”
My voice shook and tears trailed down my face. Happy tears, passionate tears. He watched me take a breath and wiped them with his thumbs.
“I’m not done yet. You let me finish.”
He laughed softly and blinked rapidly, holding back whatever he wanted to say. “I’m listening.”
“I saw the way you looked when you came into the bar that day. So tortured and in pain. I just was so consumed by my thoughts I didn’t recognize it then.” He nodded, and I kept going. “Honestly, you haven’t looked at a girl with interest in months. I know because I’m with you all the time. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me, but I didn’t have time to think it through. Everything happened at once.”
I blinked a couple of times but continued. “I’m sorry if I upset you when I ran away, but I needed that time to get my shit together. I can’t believe I’m saying this. I want to be your girlfriend, officially.”
I waited for him to respond, but he continued to stare at me with a small smile.
“You could probably say something now instead of staring at me.”
“Jenna. I fucking love you, too.” He grabbed my face in his hands and forced me to look up at him. “You are the best person in my life. You’ve motivated me to be a better family member. To fight for my dreams. To do what I wanted to do, not what someone else told me to do. You make me laugh. You’ve made me enjoy life again. I’m so crazy about you. I would never, ever fucking hurt you. I would rather punch my own face than do anything to you.”
I blinked back tears, and he kissed each eye.
“I’ve actually loved you for a while now, but I didn’t want to scare you away. We’re both messed up when it comes to admitting feelings. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Ha. Maybe.”
“Well, remember that day I freaked out on you in the library?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“That was the moment I realized I was completely in love with you. And I apologize for not making us official. I never thought of you as anything else but my girl, so calling you my girlfriend just seemed so cheesy. You’re more than just my girlfriend. You’re one of my best friends, the first person I think about when I wake up and the last one I think about at night.” He smoothed my hair, placing a soft kiss to my forehead.
“Aren’t we just a pair?” I whispered.
“We were meant for each other.”
He picked me up and kissed me, passionately, full of tenderness. “Don’t cry, babe. Your eyes are too pretty.”
I kissed him back and laughed into his mouth. “I was just so overcome with feelings they had to spill out. All these emotions are weird for me. I’m still learning how to deal with them. Give me a break.”
“Yeah, this sensitive Jenna is weird. Although I like hearing you say those words. You should say them again.”
“What, give me a break?”
He leveled me with a stare. “You know what I’m talking about.”
“I love you?”
“Yes. Say it again.”
“I love you, weirdo.”
“I think we should get naked. As soon as possible.” He waggled his eyebrows.
I smacked his shoulder. “Then stop all the girl talk.”
His eyes lit up, and he grinned. He slammed his mouth down on mine and pressed me back onto the park bench. His hands explored my body while his tongue delved into my mouth. He was rougher this time, like he could barely control himself. Cheers broke out, and we both looked up to see Joel, Gage, Cyn, Jon, and even Nate all standing outside the bar.
I covered my face with my hands, and Aiden chuckled. “Those assholes.”
“Didn’t they get enough drama?”
“I think they wanted us together as much as we did.” He pulled me up and moved me to stand in front of him. “You need to block my major wood right now. Let’s wave and run back to your place.”
“Sounds good.” I waved, and we walked over to my bike. “Can you fit around me with that dagger of yours?”
“Oh yeah.” He slid behind me and kept his hands on my boobs. “God, it’s only been two days, but it feels like a week. I’ve missed these. You, too, of course.”
“You use me for my boobs. I knew it!” I laughed.
“Well, and your mouth is fucking perfect.” He ran his hands up and down my back and over my chest the entire drive. It was distracting as hell, but I was so damn happy.
We parked at my apartment and practically tore off each other’s clothes as soon as the bike was in park. It was rushed and sloppy. We acted like horny teenagers doing it for the first time. Our teeth clashed in a rush to be closer to each other.
I laughed, and
he tickled my side. “God, I love your laugh.” He slowed it down as we fell into the bed, naked. “I want to spend all my time making you laugh. No more crying.”
“Deal,” I whispered.
“I’m also going to savor every moment right now.” And boy, he did. He took his time on my legs, rubbing and licking all my favorite spots. He knew my body better than I did, and he was taking full advantage of it.
“I love your face right before you fall apart in my arms. I love the way your body moves with mine.”
He kissed down my body, excruciatingly slowly, so I was shaking. “I’ve spent so many nights with you, showing you how much I love you.”
He used his fingers to open me up, but I was already so close it wasn’t necessary. He slowly added his mouth until I was seconds away. “I need us to come together.”
He slipped into me, filling me up. “Jenna. God.” He clung to me, trembling. He kissed the top of my head, my face, my eyes, and then finally my mouth. “I love you so fucking much I’m blind to everything else when you’re around.”
We came together in a wild, passion-filled moment. I forgot my own name. It took five minutes for us to catch our breath before either one of us said anything.
“Wow. That was intense.” I spoke first. We had made love before, but after saying the words, it somehow changed the emotion involved.
“You’re not kidding.”
I cuddled into his arms and sighed in content. I felt at home. Admitting it to myself, let alone him, was a huge step for me, but I was happy I did. “This weekend was crazy. I never want to go through that again.”
“Me neither, babe. I can’t tell you how fucking happy I am you believe me.”
“I shouldn’t have doubted you. Plus, I’ve heard Kam had something to do with the whole thing?”
He sighed and shook his head. “I can tell you about it tomorrow. I don’t want anything to taint tonight. This might be the best moment. It’s definitely in my top five.”
“You just said taint. Ha.” I giggled.
“Not the time to be a perv, shorty.”
“It’s always time. Are you okay?” I traced circles over his broad chest, seeing concern in his eyes. I knew there was still lots to talk about. I was just glad we were together.
Let Life Happen Page 32