“There’s my boy!” He lifted Dash off the toboggan and tossed him into the air, causing Dash to giggle. “There’s a really great hill for sledding just beyond those trees back there.” He grabbed the sled and took off towards the hill. “When you get older I’ll take you up to Flagman’s Slope. That’s where all the daredevils go when they want to have a little more fun.”
“Ben?” He heard Dina’s footsteps crunching in the snow behind him, but he didn’t acknowledge her. He saw her when he first walked up, bundled up just like her son, only she was wearing Ben’s scarf and hat. His scarf that she said smelled like him. His hat when he knew she had her own. It told him something about Dina Gregory. It told him that there was a chance for them despite the tiny bit of hurt he noticed in her eyes.
“Ben, where the hell are you taking my baby?”
“For a little ride.”
“On that thing?” She caught up to Ben as they approached the hill. “Down that hill? No freaking way.”
He looked back at her for a moment. She looked alarmed, but the hill wasn’t as steep as it looked. He used to go down with Virgil when he was just a little older than Dash.
“Ben, don’t you dare.”
He sat on the toboggan, Dash snugly tucked in his lap, and pushed off. It was just like Ben remembered, maybe a little less thrilling than it was when he was a small boy, but the wind on his face, the feeling of freedom, the warmth of holding a smaller body against him as they flew down the hill, was the same.
“You bastard!”
He hadn’t seen Dina rushing down the hill after them until they were nearly at the bottom. But Dash was laughing and clapping and bouncing in his lap. “Did you have fun, little man? You want to do it again? I’ll take you if your mother lets me live.”
Dina’s scream snapped his attention back to her, only she wasn’t on her feet anymore. She was tumbling down the hill. He set Dash in the snow and was on his feet just as she came to a stop.
“Dina?” He stood over her. Her eyes were closed. She lay still in the snow. “Dina?” He knelt in the snow, his face hovering over hers. “Honey, are you hurt? Dina, open your eyes. I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to you.”
“You should have thought about that before you took my baby down this death hill,” she said as she smashed a fistful of snow in his face.
“Holy shit.” He recoiled as the icy snow touched his skin, but she didn’t stop her assault. She was on her feet pelting him with snowballs faster than he could recover. “Stop it, devil woman.”
“No.” She pegged him right in the forehead. “You scared the shit out of me. You took years off my life.”
“Look at him. He’s fine. He’s happy.”
“Only by the grace of God.” She pelted him with two more snowballs in rapid succession.
“What are you? Some kind of snow ninja?” He launched himself at her, knocking her off her feet, pinning her hands to the ground. “I would never do anything to hurt him. I love him.”
“I know!” Her eyes watered. “I just got so scared.”
“My poor baby.” He cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her. “My poor worrywart crybaby.” He kissed her again only longer this time.
“Your stupid face is cold.”
“Whose fault is that?” He rubbed his numb cheeks against her soft skin. “Even though I’m fairly sure my nose is going to fall off, I have to compliment you on your skills. You are an excellent snowball thrower.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him. “I was really on my game today.”
“Forgive me.” He kissed the corner of her still-smiling mouth.
“Okay.”
“And for this morning too.” He kissed the other side of her mouth.
She blinked up at him, a little bit of her hurt returning.
“Please,” he said, kissing her mouth again. “I couldn’t talk about her this morning when I was with you like we were. It’s hard for me to think about my past and my future all in the same moment. Does that make sense to you?”
She searched his face for a moment, looking for truth. “I think so.”
“So say you’ll forgive me.”
He pressed his lips to her cold cheek and she shut her eyes. He felt her body go slack beneath him and he realized that spending the rest of his life with this sweet, soft girl was much more alluring than anything else.
“I’ll forgive you, but only if you take me to get my Christmas trees.”
“Of course.”
“And out to lunch afterward.”
“That goes without saying.”
“Ma?” Dash crawled over to them.
“Hello, baby. Are you okay? The mean man didn’t scare you half to death?”
“Up.” He pointed to the top of the hill.
Dina looked back at Ben. “And to the mall. I’ll need new boots if we are going to be playing in the snow.”
“As long as we can pick up another sled.”
“Yes,” she sighed. “We can’t forget the sled.”
*
Dina watched Ben as he surveyed a six-foot tree. He had an axe in his hand that was supplied to him by Jollytime Tree Farm. They had passed hundreds of beautiful precut trees, but Ben wanted to cut his own. He was determined and, while she was fairly certain that he had never cut a tree down in his life, she said nothing to discourage him. He looked so cute in his jeans and black knit hat. He looked so manly with that axe in his hand, like a well-dressed lumberjack. She swooned a little just looking at him.
He looked back at her, grinning. He was happy. He didn’t look happy. He was happy. She could feel it. Maybe that’s what good sex did to a man. “I can hear you thinking. You want to share your thoughts with me?”
“Nope.” She smiled back at him. “I want to see you go all butch on me and chop down that tree.”
He stepped towards her. “Give me a kiss for good luck.”
She sealed her lips to his, savoring the touch. She had six days until she had to make her decision. Six days to decide to become his wife. She still didn’t know what she was going to do. She loved him. She knew that because no man had ever made her feel this way, but he was still so in love with his wife and Dina wasn’t sure she could be his wife unless it was for real. Not for convenience, not just for her son, but because Ben loved her as much as she loved him.
“Hey!” Dash protested their closeness, and Ben dropped the axe, lifted him from her arms and tossed him in the air.
“I’ll kiss you for good luck too.” Ben gave her son a loud smacking kiss on the cheek and Dina realized how deep her dilemma was. Ben needed to be Dash’s father. No man could ever step in and take his place.
“I think your son is trying to talk your husband out of cutting down that tree. Lord knows I’m trying to talk my husband out of it. There are three hundred perfectly good cut trees just waiting to be strapped to the car.”
Dina turned towards the familiar voice. It was a good thing Ben had taken Dash, because she would have dropped him. She was shaking so badly.
“Dina?”
She didn’t expect to see her. Not here. Not yet. She had so much to make up for.
Ellis, her little sister, rushed towards her. Ellis, the little sister she had hurt so terribly, came at her and cupped her face in her hands. Ellis, the sister she hadn’t seen or touched or spoken to in two years, was right in front of her.
“Dina Gregory.” Ellis’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Tell me that it’s you. Tell me you’re here.”
She couldn’t speak, so she nodded, feeling the hot splash of tears running down her face.
“I’ve missed you so much.” Ellis broke in the moment and let out a sob. Dina wasn’t expecting their first meeting in two years to be like this. She didn’t expect her little sister to grab her and hug her so tightly that she couldn’t breathe. She wasn’t expecting forgiveness.
“Ellie…” She pulled away and opened Ellis’s coat, placing her hands on her sister’s large, round
ed belly. “You’re going to have a baby!”
“I am.” Ellis smacked Dina’s arm hard. “You already had one.” She looked back at Ben, who was holding a bewildered-looking Dash. “You had a baby!” She smacked her again. “And you didn’t tell me or Mom, or anybody.” She smacked her with each word she spoke. “We were so worried about you. Why the hell did you stay away from us? Do you know how hard this has been on Mom? She’s been trying to track you down.”
“But I e-mailed her.”
“Three months ago, Dina.”
“I didn’t think you ever wanted to see me again. I thought you hated me.”
“Sometimes I hate you, most of the time I’m mad at you, but I never wanted you out of my life. You’re my sister.”
“I’m so sorry, Ellie.” She grabbed her sister into a tight hug, both of them crying so hard that they couldn’t speak.
“Ellis, honey.” Mike, her husband, gently pulled her away and wrapped a protective arm around her. “You’re going to make yourself sick.” He placed his hand on his unborn child. “Please, calm down a little.”
“I can’t, Mike. I found my sister. And she had a baby.”
“I know. Hello, Dina. It’s good to see you again.”
Ben came to her side and smoothed a kiss to her forehead. “Are you okay?” he whispered in her ear. “She looks like she hits hard.”
“She does, but I deserved it.” She leaned against him for a moment, needing his strength to hold herself up. “This is my son, Dash.” She took her baby from Ben and presented him to Ellis. “Dash, this is your aunt, Ellis.”
“No.” Dash turned and buried his face in Dina’s shoulder.
“Oh, come on, baby. She’s our family.” As Dina said those words she realized that she actually had a family. Not a group of people she disappointed, but a family who loved her. A fresh wave of tears fell down her cheeks.
“It’s okay, Dee. I’m the hysterical pregnant woman that beat up his mother. I get his hesitation.” Ellis stared at Dash, tears clouding her eyes. “He’s gorgeous. He’s perfect.” She tentatively reached out and touched his little hand. “I’m so happy you have him.”
“He’s changed my life, Ellie.” She looked up at Ben, who was still standing protectively by her side. He had changed her life too. In five days he made her want things she never dreamed of. “This is his father—”
“Benjamin Rowe. Good God, how the hell did you end up with him?” Ellis shook her head. “I don’t want to know.” She stepped forward and kissed her sister’s cheek. “You got chubby. Am I evil to admit how happy this makes me?”
“No, feel free to mock me.”
“Mock you? I think you are more beautiful than you have ever been and I hate you for it.” She stepped back and studied Dina, a smile on her face so bright that Dina could only compare it to the sun. “I can’t believe you’re here.” She swayed on her feet a little. “I can’t believe how woozy I feel.”
Mike, her husband and the subject of the sisters’ falling-out, wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “We need to get you home. Okay, baby? I don’t want you to get sick.”
There was such tenderness in the way he looked at her. It made Dina felt guilty for what she had done, all over again. It made her wonder how Ellis could forgive her.
Ellis looked back at Dina. “You are going to call me later. Mom and Daddy are out of town right now, but you and I are going to do some serious catching up. My baby and your baby are going to grow up together.”
“Yes, Ellis.”
“Promise me,” she demanded.
“I promise.”
Chapter 11
Celebrate Me Home …
Dina had disappeared after dinner that night. She had been quiet since her sister had left and Ben understood why. The reunion was dramatic and happy and sad and he couldn’t imagine how he would feel if Virgil had reappeared in his life again. He would welcome him too. No matter how difficult their relationship had been, he would welcome him. And if he were here right now Ben would thank him for bringing Dina and Dash into his life.
Ben walked into Dina’s bedroom to find her curled up on her side, her hand resting on her chin. She looked so damn fragile in that moment that something inside of him broke open.
It felt a lot like being in love.
He crawled in bed beside her, wrapping his body around hers, bringing her as close as possible. “How are you, sweet girl?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t expect her to still love me.”
“I knew she would. She would be crazy if she didn’t.”
“You don’t understand what I did to her. I was cruel.”
He turned her around so that he could see into her eyes. “What did you do?”
“I don’t want to tell you. You won’t like me anymore.”
“I will. I promise. Your ass is far too good to give up.”
She gave him a wobbly smile, then sobered. “I was always horrible to her. I took joy in tormenting her growing up, but I loved her, you know. My mother had her new husband and her career and another kid, but the only thing I really had was my little sister. And then Mike came along. And instead of being happy for her I was jealous. I thought he was going to take her away from me and I couldn’t stomach the thought of being alone. So I got drunk one night at a party and I kissed him. I didn’t want him. I just wanted to break them up. I couldn’t bear the thought of her loving someone more than me.” She stared up at the ceiling, feeling embarrassed about her actions, about her mistakes. “I hurt her. I betrayed her. My parents wouldn’t even talk to me for weeks after that. My whole life I’ve been pushing, testing. I finally pushed them too far.”
“So you ran away?”
“Yeah, I couldn’t live with what I did so I ran away to forget. I was a coward.”
“I don’t see it that way,” Ben said as he swept his hand over her hair. “You taking some space wasn’t a bad thing. Look at who you’ve become. You’re a wonderful mother and thoughtful and kind and you are the best friend I’ve ever had.”
“How can you say that? You’ve barely know me.”
“I’m very smart, you know. And I’ve got excellent taste in women.” He gathered her closer. What she had done was distasteful, but it didn’t make her a bad person. It didn’t change how he felt about her; if anything her extreme guilt made him care for her more. “I think it’s time you stopped beating yourself up. It’s time to let your family love you again.”
“I’m not sure I know how to do that.”
“Let me help you.”
“Can you start by staying here with me like this tonight?”
“You couldn’t drag me out of this bed if you tried.”
*
“We’re going to need a ladder to get the angel on top of the tree,” Dina said to Ben as they admired their handiwork three days later.
They had left the tree farm treeless, but Ben had come through and had four trees delivered yesterday. They had spent the last two days decorating, Ben even going out with Dash so they could pick out a special ornament to mark his first Christmas.
“I’m sure there is a ladder somewhere in this house.” Ben looked at her, frowning. “I’m just not sure where.”
“I bet you’re kind of regretting sending your entire staff away for three weeks.”
“Nope.” He looped his arm around her and pulled her into his big body. “Do you know how many people work here full-time? Twelve. I feel embarrassed to have twelve people doing things for me that I can do for myself. I’ve had a lot of fun these past two weeks with you. I’ve felt normal for the first time in my life.”
“Normal?” She smiled up at him. “Do I bring out the normal in you?”
He kissed her forehead. “You bring out a lot in me.” He was quiet for a moment. “You think this house is too big?”
“It’s bigger than Disneyland.”
“Yeah, but is it too big for us?”
She blinked at him. For us. Christmas was three d
ays away. He was assuming she was going to marry him. It made sense that he did. Every day they spent together they were growing closer. Dash was getting happier, more attached to Ben. She had introduced him to Ellis as Dash’s father and when Ellis asked her about him yesterday she never bothered to tell her sister the truth. Of course he assumed. And of course she should want to marry him. He was kind and loving and giving and stable. And he never used her past against her. She would be nuts to turn him down.
Then why was there that tiny niggle of doubt stuck in the back of her mind?
“As a kid I felt so isolated here. I don’t want that for Dash. When Karen and I were trying she had this dream of sending our kids to the best boarding schools and having private tutors. I always thought the point of kids was to enjoy them, but I never said anything to her about it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I loved her so much I would have done anything to make her happy even if I wasn’t.”
She didn’t want him to be unhappy. She would never send Dash away. But she couldn’t help but ask, “And what if I wanted Dash to go to boarding schools?”
Will you ever love me like you loved her?
He grinned at her before he swept her feet out from beneath her and rolled her onto the floor. “I would wrestle you. Winner gets to make all the major decisions for the rest of Dash’s life.”
“That’s not fair. You’re way bigger than me.” She wiggled beneath him but made no move to get away. When they were like this, rational thought floated from her mind.
“But you’re way softer than me.” He ran his hands up the backs of her legs. “And prettier.” He touched his lips to her throat. “And you make me forget myself.”
“Ben,” she moaned as he slid his hands beneath her shirt to feel the skin on her back. “The door’s not even closed.”
“There is no door to close in the formal living room.” He found the button on her jeans and undid it with just one hand. “Come on, my sweet girl. Wouldn’t you like to make love beneath a Christmas tree just once?”
Have Yourself a Curvy Little Christmas: A Perfect Fit Holiday Novella (A Perfect Fit Novel) Page 9