by C. A. Harms
He curled me into his arms and whispered into my ear, “Gets better every single time…I will never get tired of you. Sam you’re my addiction baby.” He kissed my neck and we fell asleep together.
Twenty
The next couple weeks passed and things with Wes were so good. He and MaKayla had spent the night half a dozen times and I had been staying at his house the rest of the time. We were in a pretty good routine and I got to pick Kayla up a couple days a week to meet him at home, whichever place we had planned to stay at that night anyway. I still had not told him I loved him even though I wanted to so many times. He was sweet about it and it didn’t stop him from telling me he loved me over and over.
Friday had arrived and lunch time always gave me time to think and my mind wondered back to this morning waking up to Wes watching me… “What are you doing?” I asked him as I looked up at him resting his head on his hand propping it up. “Watching you sleep, you are so beautiful.”
Ahh this man pulled at my heart strings so hard. He made me feel so special but then again so did Tony and it all back fired in my face when I least expected it too. I looked through my phone and called Allison, I needed some girl talk.
‘Hey Hot Stuff what’cha doing? I was actually going to call you soon’
She seemed to be in a great mood
Oh you were…is that a good or bad thing? What is going on?
Things had been better with Mitch’s mom after he talked to her and told her she needed to respect his wife or not come over to their home. Allison was in heaven from Mitch finally standing up to his mother in her honor.
So…I need you to come to my rescue…before you say no keep in mind of all the times I have rescued you and helped in your time of need…I need you to go to dinner with me. Mitch’s mother and aunt have invited me and I already told them my best friend and I had plans hoping that it would get me out of dinner but they only then insisted that we both join them…PLEASE!
She was right I did owe her but I wanted to go to Wes’s house after work…I just wanted to curl up with him and watch a movie together. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms and wake up to see his gorgeous face next to me. I was ready to tell him I loved him too and that I have…I was just too scared and stubborn to admit it.
What time?
She giggled in excitement
Meet me here at five thirty we have to get there at six
Good early which meant I would still be able to go to Wes’s and spend the night in his arms.
I agreed to meet her and sent Wes I quick text to let him know of my plans that Allison had just made for me. He replied back with a sad face followed by telling me to hurry because he misses me and wanted to cuddle. Cuddle to us really just meant we would end up naked having unbelievable sex.
I finished my day at work and ran home for a quick shower throwing on something presentable and running out the door to meet Allison. I really wasn’t left with much time to get ready since I didn’t get out of work and home until after four thirty. Alli text me asking where I was just as I was pulling into her driveway, geesh woman breathe I am coming! I decided to leave my car at her house and ride with her.
I was shocked at the politeness Mitch’s mother was showing to Allison and even to me. I made a note to hug Alli’s man when we got back to her house and thank him for finally making her life a little easier. Time was flying by and we were actually having a really good time. Mitch’s mom Kathy had me laughing so hard telling stories about her husband and how they met years ago. Alli was actually doing shots with both of them which was shocking to see from a woman Alli and I both thought had a stick up her ass. She seemed like a different person and was really fun to be around. Who would have thought Kathy could smile and laugh…it was great to see her and Alli get along. I looked down at my phone to check the time and saw that I had one missed call and two text messages from Wes. It was now a quarter ‘til eight and I couldn’t believe so much time had gone by.
‘Hey baby I miss you call me’ and the second message ‘Kayla crashed early and I am craving cuddle time with you…You still with Alli? That last one came at seven thirty. I quickly sent him a text and told him that we were having a blast and that I would try to drag Alli away and get there soon.
No Rush…please stay and have fun.
His response was definitely not what I was expecting. Was he upset with me? I excused myself and said I needed to use the rest room. I quickly stepped out in front of the restaurant and called him. It rang four times and I expected his answering machine to pick up but he answered sounding a little out of breath. “Ya!” What kind of way is that to answer, maybe he didn’t realize it was me calling? Hey is everything okay…are you upset with me? He took a deep breath, “No Sam I’m fine and I am not upset have fun with Alli. I am actually really tired from work this week I think it caught up with me. I’m just going to call it a night. Call me tomorrow. Before I could respond he hung up. I looked down at my phone and wonder what in the hell just happened. What was that all about?
Twenty One
I was finally able to get Allison out of the restaurant and into her car. I told her a quick version of what happened with Wes and she looked puzzled. She was a little tipsy so I drove her car. “Hey do you mind if I stop by his place real quick I just want to make sure things are okay. He said he wasn’t mad but he sounded like something was wrong…I promise I’ll be fast.” She didn’t care as she laid her head back and closed her eyes. It was almost nine at night when I pulled up to Wes’s apartment. Climbing his stairs I could see a light on which only made my stomach flip he told me he was going to bed.
I lightly knocked on the door and waited. I didn’t want to knock to loud and wake Kayla. The door came open and my knees began to shake, I instantly became nauseous when Sarah was the one looking back at me…I felt my heart break. She was wearing a tank top which showed her entire flat stomach. She had on a pair of tight little pink shorts that had a heart on the left hip…WAIT A MINUTE, those are my fucking shorts. My eyes met hers and she smiled at me. She looked right at home, “Can I help you with something?” I started to respond when I saw movement behind her. Wes was walking out of his bedroom and he wore only his sweats…he froze looking passed her and straight at me. I just turned around and walked down the steps toward Allison jeep. I heard him behind me charging down the stairs quickly. “Wait…Sam wait a minute it isn’t what you think. Let me explain.” Not again I couldn’t do this again. Why did guys feel the need to cheat on me? What the hell was I doing wrong? Maybe my mother was right. “Baby Please, listen to me”, it happened before I even realized what I had done. I spun around and smacked him across the face so hard my hand was now burning.
Wes reached for my wrist, “Sam I never slept with her I know that’s what you think. Nothing happened.” I jerked my hand away, “Fuck You! Nothing happened huh? That is why your EX-WIFE is upstairs in your apartment wearing MY FUCKING CLOTHES! MINE Wes…!” He reached for my waist and I pulled back, “Don’t fucking touch me…don’t call me. Just go back upstairs and fuck Sarah Wes…again!” Allison had already stepped out of the car when we walked up and she was staring at him as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. I got in the car slammed the door and locked it. Wes said something to Alli and she didn’t respond back she just stood there. I needed to get out of here, “Get in the God Damn car Alli…GET IN THE FUCKING CAR!” I screamed at her and she slowly got in without saying a work. Wes pounded on the window and ran aside Alli’s jeep as I backed out and I put it in drive looking up at him as the tears came rushing down my cheeks. I turned forward and stepped on the gas and drove away from Wes. My heart was shattered.
Allison wouldn’t allow me to go home that night she made me sleep in their guest room and I had no energy to argue with her. I felt empty and angry and sad…I couldn’t stop crying. Mitch looked shocked when Alli filled him in on everything. He couldn’t believe that Wes would go back to Sarah after everything that had happened.
; I cried so hard I made myself sick and found myself laying on the little bathroom floor that was attached to the room I was sleeping in. Able to finally drag myself back to bed I heard Mitch yelling from out in the living room. Was I causing an argument between him and Alli? I would leave…the last thing I wanted was to drag their relationship into this. I opened the door slightly to try and hear what he was saying, “You fucked up dude! You never should have let her in. After everything you have had to deal with from her and what she has put Kayla through…you should have turned her away…You did it.” There was a long pause I realized he had to be talking to Wes. “You love her? Well then her feelings should have been top priority man. How would you have felt if the roles were reversed…you got pissed when Tony was on her fucking front porch imagine him answering the door half naked and she comes out of the bedroom in nighty…not good man. You know you fucked up and I am sure as hell not getting in the middle of it and then having my wife pissed off. I got to say I am with them on this one…you know damn well you are wrong.”
I closed the door quietly and crawled back into bed.
I went home the next day early and made sure I used the chain locks so Wes couldn’t get in…I needed to get my key back. He tried to call so many times and I finally turned my ringer off. I fell asleep in bed with the shades and curtains pulled. I didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. I just wanted to disappear. My nerves were so rattled I felt sick I wanted to be alone and be miserable.
I woke to a pounding on my window and Wes hollering to get my attention and then it stopped. After a few minutes I heard the front door and the chain being strained as he tried to open the door. I walked out into the living room and he stopped. He looked at me through the slightly opened door, “Look at me Sam…please. Let me explain everything. It was completely innocent…Sam you got to believe me. I know how it looked and I am so sorry but it was nothing.” Nothing why do they always say that when it is everything…it means EVERYTHING! I stared at him with a blank look. He was waiting for me to say something but I had nothing. I felt so empty and I really couldn’t think of one thing to say. I couldn’t do this again…my heart couldn’t take it. I turned and walked back to my room leaving him stand there watching me through the cracked door. I just made it to my bed when the nausea hit I grabbed for the garbage can to empty the water I had drunk earlier from my system because besides that I had consumed nothing.
I hid out as much as I could but Allison was the one person I knew I needed by my side if I was going to pull through this. I was a nervous wreck all the time I couldn’t stomach anything without eventually running to the bathroom to get sick. I couldn’t believe I was going through this again. How could I be so stupid to let myself fall for another guy only to have history repeat itself? Wes called everyday he sent flowers and cards. He would text but I never read them and left messages that I never listened to. I knew how it all went... ‘I’m sorry, it was a mistake, I’ll never hurt you again, how can I make this right…She meant nothing…blah blah.’ I refused to hear the excuses I just didn’t give a shit anymore. I hated that I allowed myself to be hurt a second time and I refused to ever let anyone hurt me again. I became bitter and angry. The things I used to do that I enjoyed I really didn’t find enjoyable anymore. I had to force myself to go to work and take care of the patients that once brought me such joy. Everything I did anymore was forced.
Wes continued being pretty consistent with his attempts he would try to call every morning before work, every lunch hour, on his way home from work and then at least four or five times throughout the evening. He stopped by a couple times but I had a locksmith change out the lock on the front door. The first day he tried his key after I had changed it almost caused me to laugh when I heard him cussing out the lock…’Damn son of a bitching thing…Fuck!’ He finally realized what happen and then proceeded to beat on the door for the next twenty minutes then left squealing his tires.
Twenty Two
It had been a week and a half since I found Sarah half naked at Wes’s. I was at work. Ethan the little boy that used to bring me such joy was just finishing up with his therapy and I was squeezing my eyes from the stress headache I had been fighting all day. I stood up to gather up the therapy ball and so on when I felt light headed. I quickly lowered myself back to the floor…things were fuzzy and I think I blacked out…I was seeing spots.
“Samantha Honey, are you okay…you fainted sweetheart. I called someone just sit still you hit your head.” Martha my boss was leaning over me. “Is there someone you want me to call besides an ambulance, they should be here any minute?” I told her to call Allison that she was on my phone under my emergency contact just inside my bag. I closed my eyes and felt the bile rising and knew what came next. I leaned to the side and got sick.
The ambulance had arrived and they were pushing me out the door when Alli came running up. I told her I was fine that I probably fainted from not eating and the stress. I hit my head when I fell and it was procedure to call 911. I really was fine. I got sick twice on the way to the hospital and once more while the doctor was examining me. They had told me that throwing up after hitting your head was a sign of a concussion and they wanted to do a scan to make sure everything looked ok.
Allison sat next to me the entire time and Mitch called to ask her what was wrong. After she explained everything to him about what had happened I quickly hollered to her to tell him not to mention anything about it to Wes I did not want him here. He agreed and I was thankful. If he showed up here I knew I could not avoid him. We waited about twenty minutes and they came to wheel me to X-ray. Alli waited in the room for me to return.
“Okay darling I am just going to lay this across your entire midsection just encase there is a chance you may be pregnant.” WHAT! Pregnant I am not pregnant…I am on the pill and have been for five years or more. There was no way. “I’m not pregnant ma’am but thanks.” She stepped from the room as the test began and I closed my eyes to relax. I started running dates in my head…the 3rd…Thursday, Friday…1, Wait a minute…my eyes flew open in a panic. I needed my purse now…Shit! The test wasn’t moving fast enough I need my bag I had to see my pill packet I know I started a new pack right before I got sick. If I was calculating correctly in my head I should have started this next packet last week or wait… damn it what is the date? I hadn’t thought about it until she said something. I should have just been finishing up my period. I think I lost track of my sugar pills and the week I last had my period. Damn it…move hurry up lady! I was about to yell to ask her if we were done when I heard her announce that she just finished.
If I could have gotten off the bed and ran back to my room I would have but the nurse pushed me back on the bed so damn slowly and my irritation level was almost through the damn roof. When I got into the room and the nurse locked my bed in place she told me it would be a few minutes and the doctor would be in with my blood work results after he took a look at my scans.
Allison was staring at me with a weird look, “Um what happened…you look freaked out?” I felt like I was going to pass out again but I knew it was the anxiety running through me. “Alli can you get me my bag please…hurry!” She grabbed it from the chair next to her and quickly brought it over. I started rummaging through it frantically and just eventually turned it upside down dumping everything out. I found my pill compact and opened it. I stared at it in my hands and the tears came fast. I couldn’t stop them and I was now sobbing uncontrollably. She looked worried until she noticed what I was holding, “Sam, will you tell me what’s going on please?” I looked at her through my tears and barely whispered back, “I think I might be pregnant!”
Twenty Three
Allison sat next to me rubbing my shoulders as I explained about missing my period and with all the drama of me and Wes I had lost track of time. I took my pill without even thinking about the fact that I should have been on my period. The pill was just part of my day. I had taking it for so long that when I reached my sugar pill
s it just didn’t even register. I had really just floated through my days lately without thinking about anything in too much detail.
“Well I have some good news, your scan looks good no bleeding or swelling. Just a light bump on your head but looking at your blood work I do have to ask…did you know you were pregnant.” There it was…confirmation of what I already feared. I was pregnant…with Wes’s child…the man that cheated on me with his drugged up alcoholic ex-wife. I was living a Lifetime show and I just wanted to scream. I wanted to wake the hell up and have it all be a horrible nightmare. I couldn’t respond to the doctor I just stared at him waiting for him tell me it was all a joke…a mean one but all a joke. He never did.
I left the hospital with Allison and she drove me back to work to get me car. “Are you going to tell him Sam? You should tell him because he has a responsibility to you and to your baby.” I just laughed and by the look on her face I think she thought I was going insane she looked confused by my response. “Right, yeah let me call him so he can run back and forth between me and Sarah taking care of us…better yet we can all move in together and we can share him. Maybe I can have Sunday Tuesday and Thursday…Monday Wednesday Friday he can please her and then Saturday can be a day of recovery from all of his pleasing…that sounds like a plan. Then when the baby comes all three of us can raise it together. No thanks I don’t need him, I can do this on my own. Don’t say anything please. I don’t need anyone. This is my baby…mine.”