Stricken Trust (Stricken Rock)

by Logsdon, S. K.

  I grab my laptop from my bag that apparently Davis dropped off and I take it into the bed and snuggle down. It’s quiet except for the soothing calm of the ocean outside. This is truly the most exquisite property. I can’t believe Johnathan bought it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Ms. Bronwyn, Ms. Bronwyn.” I hear someone call my name and I open my eyes.

  Hot damn, I forgot where I was for a second. Davis is standing at the end of the bed. I look down and thank god I kept my clothes on last night. That would not have been good, showing Davis my lady parts.

  I rub my eyes and stretch. Man, today isn’t going to be a good day; I can already feel it.

  “Ms. Bronwyn, you have a doctor’s appointment in forty minutes. We need to leave in fifteen if you plan on making it in time.”

  I jerk out of bed and run into the bathroom. I feel very ill this morning. This isn’t normal for me. My stomach rolls again and I hold my belly. This isn’t good. My stomach tenses like a giant cramp and I clinch my teeth. Fuck that hurts. What the hell is happening? I woke up twice last night with this same pain and it’s just getting worse. Maybe it’s stress or something.

  I pee, wash my face and hands and apply the cocoa butter to my growing bump. I don’t even worry to change. I don’t have time and I feel utterly restless.

  “Let’s go,” I wave to him, heading for the door and stop short, grabbing my stomach. Fuck, that’s painful. My stomach clinches again and I have the urge to vomit. Davis is instantly by my side slowly he walks me to the car, holding my arm so I don’t fall as I cradle my aching belly.

  “I guess it’s a good thing we are taking you to the doctor,” he says, shutting me into the back of the Mercedes.

  Fifteen minutes later we are pulling up outside of Dr. Golds office and Davis tells me to sit still as he grabs a wheelchair from inside. I listen because I’m close to heaving bile all over the place. Opening the door, he offers his hand and I get out. He eases me into the chair and then wheels me to the elevators and up to the second floor. We don’t even wait to be seen, we are taken straight back. One of the perks of being a celebrity’s baby’s mama.

  I climb out of the wheelchair and onto the table and Davis waits outside. If it was James, I would have him in here with me. Oh, I miss him already. I hate doing this all alone.

  A knock sounds at the door and my pretty, frail, blonde doctor enters.

  “Hello Emily,” she smiles and offers her hand for a quick shake and I oblige her.

  “I’m not feeling so hot, doc. Let’s just get that out now. I flew back yesterday from Colorado. Everything was so peaceful and wonderful there. Not a single problem. But last night and this morning I am having some pain and I feel like hell,” I blurt out before she can even ask how I’m doing.

  She pulls out her stethoscope and checks my vitals and blood pressure.

  “I’d like to do a stress test on the babies and do an internal exam,” She explains.

  “Okay? What do I need to do?”

  “Just remove your underwear and I’ll bring in fetal monitors to test the babies to make sure they are okay and I’ll check to make sure you’re not dilating or in labor. You haven’t leaked any fluid, have you?”

  I shake my head.

  “Good. How about blood in your urine?”

  I shake my head again “None of that. And the babies have been moving fine,” I reassure her. Which by the look on her face she’s happy to hear.

  She ducks out of the room and I lay back, lift my hips and slide off my underwear. I’m wearing a simple blue dress today. It’s comfy and cute.

  A few moments later, she reenters with a monitor cart in tow, a nurse and a bottle of water.

  Pulling out the stirrups, she instructs me to place my heels inside as the nurse works her magic tugging up my dress and placing two different monitors on my belly, holding them in place with these soft elastic straps that wrap around my big fat belly. She finds each of the babies’ heart beats and they flood the room with sound and my heart sings. I love listening to my babies.

  Two fingers are uncomfortably inserted into my vagina and I groan from the discomfort.

  “Well… Looks like we are having a problem,” Trisha, my doctor, states, removing her gloved hand from inside my female parts. It all moved so quickly I’ve barely had time to breathe. She’s on the ball today.

  “What’s that?” I’m totally about to start freaking out.

  “My guess is with all the stress I am sure you endure with being the mom to Johnathan’s babies and the flight yesterday on top of it. Altitude can disrupt a pregnancy. The bad news is you are dilated one to two centimeters. It’s not uncommon for you to dilate in pregnancy but you’re only twenty two weeks. Which is not good at all. But the good news is we caught it in time and I’m going to give you a pill to stop the contractions.”

  A tear falls from my eye. “Are the babies going to be okay?”

  “Yes, Emily. I promise. We are just going to monitor you for a while. You are in the early stages of labor. So this pill will make you stop and once you do I’ll send you home but you will be ordered on strict bed rest.”

  “Which entails?”

  She pats my leg and offers me a sympathetic smile. “No leaving bed unless you have to pee, only leaving the house to come here and back. No place else. And…” She pats my leg again. “No sex or orgasms of any kind. That could stimulate the labor again and we need to get you as far along as possible.”

  Oh my fucking god. First, I can’t have a damn pill that fixes my insatiable needs. Now I’m supposed to just deal with them and do nothing? No fucking orgasms at all? I understand no penetration. But no orgasms? Come on. I will probably die from lack of pleasure. How do I get weeks of happiness with James and now this? I come back and I’m in labor because of the flight and stress. My body is fucking stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid body. I’m so angry at it right now, I could scream.

  “Do I have abide by this for the rest of the pregnancy or just a while?” I ask. Please say a while, not the whole pregnancy. I can’t do this for another eighteen weeks. Holy shit, another eighteen weeks without an orgasm, I will surely die from depravation.

  “We’ll play it by ear Emily. I know your sexual urges are very intense right now. I know this is going to be difficult, but I can’t stress enough that orgasms can make you go into labor and if these babies come before you hit twenty eight weeks, they probably won’t survive.”

  Ok, no orgasms it is. You don’t have to tell me twice. I will be Fort Knox between my legs. No orgasms of any kind. I just pray my body doesn’t just shoot them off because of the intense build up. I’ve orgasmed before without doing hardly anything. This is going to be the cruelest kind of torture. But I will not risk my babies for anything.

  “I’ll be good. I promise,” I reassure her and I lie back into the table and get more comfortable and fall into a trance of listening to my babies’ heartbeats. She hands me a pill and I take it. I’m swirling in my own mind right now. Not paying a bit of attention to anything or anyone. My body is on emotional lockdown and I cut out all feelings and just focus on the sound of my children’s heartbeats filling the room.

  “Emily. Emily,” I hear someone call my name and I blink rapidly pulling myself out of whatever little world I was just in.

  “Huh?”

  “We are ready to send you home,” A nurse in all white scrubs says, unlatching the monitor’s from my stomach and wiping the gel that was under them with a soft cloth.

  “Oh ok, how long was I in here?” I look around the room for a clock but don’t see one.

  “Another hour after the doctor left you to rest. How are you feeling?”

  “Fine.” I lean up. I might have been a little out of it, but now I’m beyond exhausted and I need to get some good sleep.

  “You might be a little tired. The pills do that. So please go home and rest and follow the doctor’s instructions.”

  I nod and get off the table as she leaves the room.
I follow her out and make an appointment for a week out. Apparently I’m going to be coming in weekly now. A lot sooner than I had hoped but as long as the babies stay healthy, that is all that matters. I start to walk out of the glass doors when a nurse comes running after me and Davis.

  “You can’t walk out. You need a wheelchair.” She stops in front of us, panting. “There is one right here.” She takes a few steps to the side and wheels a chair for me to use. I gracefully sit into the seat and Davis takes point and wheels me out.

  “Thanks.” I smile and wave to her a friendly goodbye.

  Welcome to the world of painful woman blue balls, bed rest and heartbreak. Oh the joys of my life. I can never catch a fucking break!

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Emily are you okay?” I get pushed. “Emily.”

  I open my eyes. What is up with people waking me up these past days? I gaze at the familiar man sitting on the end of my bed and I groan. I want to sleep more. I don’t want to be woken up. What time is it is anyhow? It’s daylight out.

  “What, Johnathan?” I whine.

  “It’s two in the afternoon and you’ve been a sleep since before I got in last night. I slept on the floor.” He points to the pile of blankets.

  Why in the world does a millionaire need to sleep on the floor? He didn’t have to stay here.

  “Okay? And you’re waking me why?”

  “You need to eat and I thought we could go shopping for some furniture today,” he smiles sweetly. God he sure is sexy and that skull shirt with his sleeved tattoos makes him extra yummy today. Too bad I don’t get any urges to fuck him. Not that I’m allowed to anyhow.

  “I can’t go anywhere. Doctors ordered me to strict bed rest,” I mope. God, I wish that was just a bad dream. But it’s not. I’m stuck in this damn bed for a long time. Weeks upon weeks, it seems. And it sucks, big donkey balls.

  He looks at me like I have two heads. “Since when?”

  “Yesterday, I’m dilating from too much stress. My body was going into preterm labor and now I’m not allowed to walk anywhere except the bathroom and I’m not allowed to have sex or have any orgasms at all.” I frown, disgusted at those words. No orgasms. Damn-it.

  “When were you going to tell me?” He sounds angry and his jaw is set into a hard line. I don’t have time or energy to deal with his childish ways today.

  “Listen, yesterday I went to the docs with Davis. I had to face all of this alone, since you called James off of work. So I came home beyond physically and emotionally exhausted and I fell asleep after I ate a little something and took my pills. I’m not excited about this, I hope you know. And you getting all pissy with me because I didn’t call you and tell you isn’t helping matters. We are practically strangers, Johnathan. We’ve both changed so much and I’m proud that you are becoming a better man. That means a lot to me. But I’m basically going through this alone. It’s not easy and the only person helping me was James and you took him from me. I realize he needs time off of work. But he’s who comforts me and holds my hand. Stacy used to do that but he’s got a boyfriend now. And you’re working a lot and keeping up with your regiments, which I couldn’t be happier about. But where does that leave me? Alone, in all of this. I have no family out here, my bodyguard, who is also my best friend, is off work for a week and Stacy is off to god knows where working or screwing the love of his life,” I explain openly and honestly without a hint of sass or rudeness.

  He slumps and his face drops. “I’m sorry, Short Stack. I guess I didn’t realize what you’ve been going through. I know we can’t share a bed because of my nightmares and you being pregnant but I was hoping we could share something. But I guess I need to get your bedroom set up on the first floor of the house and once the babies are born you can take the upstairs master. I do love you very much. I know this is strange, but even if we don’t work out I need us to be under the same roof with the kids. It’s not about us. It’s about them and this is the home they deserve to grow up in. Surrounded by their mom and dad and other family. I know I’ve screwed up a lot. But I’ve learned a lot over the past few months. I hope you give me a chance to prove that to you.”

  I nod with a smile. That sounds like a fair deal. I think I could handle living with Johnathan as long as he isn’t forcing love on me. He’s rather forward and dominate, so I’m kind of surprised he’s offering this kind of concession.

  “I’ll call James and see if he can come to help. I’ve got another meeting in an hour and I can’t leave you alone. And Stacy is working some major deal with a few different companies that will tie him up for the remainder of the week. He’s moving in next week sometime so you’ll have him at your beck and call then.”

  “Don’t call James. I’ll do it. I don’t want him to come if he’s busy or doesn’t want to. Plus, I think I should be the one to tell him he’s moving. That’s only fair,” I offer sweetly.

  I’m dreading making a call to James but I need to talk to him eventually and I do need the help.

  Johnathan sits and rubs my calf on the end of the bed as we chat a little longer and he slides a credit card onto the nightstand, telling me to buy some furniture online to fill this giant house. He kisses my cheek before he leaves and I feel a little better where we stand. At least he’s not proposing marriage. I love the idea of being in the same house as a family. I just don’t think I can do the romance part with him. Once upon a time I prayed for that. But now, I don’t at all. I love Johnathan deeply. Just not the in love part. Sure, I find him gorgeous and yummy and sweet. But we’ve been through too much and I’ve fallen head over heels with James. And whether James thinks it true or not, it’s not going to change. Although I do owe it to everyone to at least feel out Johnathan and I’s connection. Sometimes due diligence pays off in the end.

  I grab my phone from my nightstand and hit James’s number.

  “Hello, Ms. Bronwyn,” he answers on the third ring.

  “Well, hello to you too, lover.”

  He might be a little too formal but I’m not going to buy into his formality. I’m going to try and act like I normally would. Minus the sex and orgasms part.

  “Can I help you?” He’s still formal.

  “Yes, I would like it if this man I’m in love with would stop being distant with me and come take care of his Mama Bear, who is now on strict bed rest. And who just so happens to be missing her cuddle bear. Plus, the twins need someone to talk to them. I think they are missing Papa Bear too.” I smile, as I think about him talking to my belly. It’s been nearly two days without him talking to them. I miss it and I’m sure they probably do too.

  “Isn’t Johnathan taking care of his family?” His voice is full of melancholy.

  “Johnathan is doing his job and working. I also won’t let him take care of me.”

  “You mean you’ve not had sex or reconciled?”

  I chuckle. Oh James and your insecurities. “Nope. Not even a kiss on the lips. And I’ve not seen him much since he dropped me off at our new house that you are also going to be moving into. If you want to, that is. I had Davis take me to the doctors yesterday and that’s when I found out I’m dilating and I can’t leave the bed.”

  He growls into the phone. “You went alone?”

  I nod even though he can’t see me. “Yes.”

  “Sweetheart, you should have called me; I would have taken you. You shouldn’t have done that by yourself. Johnathan should have known better.” Now James is full of anger.

  “He wanted to give you time off work and I couldn’t argue with him. So Davis took me.”

  He grunts this time and breathes heavily into the phone. “I don’t want time off work. I’ve ran twenty three miles the past day and a half trying to get you off my mind and for my body to calm down.”

  “Why?”

  “I love you, that’s why. I need to take care of you. It’s been months that I’ve shared a bed with you and woken up next to you every single day. Months, Emily. I don’t like being away from you o
r the babies. I didn’t get to talk to them yesterday and it took me and about three hours at the gym lifting weights to calm down enough not to feel like I might be going insane. I’m calm all the time. I’m known to have my shit together. But I’m frantic on the inside if I don’t see you. It scares the shit out of me when you’re out somewhere and I’m not with you. I don’t trust another person to protect you.”

  My heart blooms. Awe, my Bear loves me. He’s right, he’s the epitome of cool, calm and collected. But with the vibe he’s giving off, he is anything but at this moment.

  “I don’t know where this house is. But call Davis and I’m sure he’ll give you the information. We can’t have sex anymore James, I’m not allowed, but I do need my cuddle buddy.”

  We talk for a few more moments and he calms down a little. I can tell he’s on a major adrenaline high. I guess we have some more talking to do when he gets here. I know I’m uneasy about us. I can’t imagine how he’s feeling right about now.

  I get up, pee, shower, call my mom and chat about the babies and my bed rest for a little while. I missed talking to her while we were on vacation. But we had no cell reception. She’s doing well and my dad’s great as always. They have an amazing marriage. I could only hope to have a little bit of the happiness that they have when I get to be their age.

  ***

  “Emily!” I hear the most wonderful voice call.

  “I’m in here,” I yell so loud my voice hurts.

  “You’re in here?” James says, walking into the little house.

  “Yes.” I call from the bedroom.

  He opens the white door and pops his head in. A genuine ear-to-ear smile is plastered on his face and he nearly sprints to my side and pulls me into his arms.

  “Oh, I missed you.” He kisses the top of my head. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold my head to his chest.

  “I missed you too, Papa Bear,” I mutter and kiss his chest, soaking up his warmth, inhaling his perfect scent. I’ve missed him so much.