Stricken Trust (Stricken Rock)

by Logsdon, S. K.

  “Why don’t you move in here?” I offer. I can’t believe I just said that but I feel this need to help her. I don’t need Johnathan’s permission. This is my home too, after all.

  I look to James to see if he think’s what I offered was the right thing to do and he nods. Yep, he agrees.

  “You don’t even know me.” She looks amazed.

  “No, but Johnathan does. And trust me, he is real protective of me and he wouldn’t have you working here if he didn’t trust you. James isn’t going to be moving into this house. So why don’t you take it instead?”

  “He’s not?”

  “No, I’m going to sleep in a chair in Emily’s room until the babies are born. I can’t be that far from her. Just in case she needs me,” he tells her and slides a plate in front of me full of food already slathered in syrup and he slides her over one too. We all dig in and eat in silence. I peer over at her and I can tell the motor in her head is running full speed.

  I can’t believe I really like Cammy. She’s really sweet and cute and I just want to pinch her doll like face. Plus, it might be nice having a little boy around to play big brother to the twins. What a great idea. I can’t believe I went from no female friends to one in the matter of minutes. I will be sure to praise Johnathan for this later. When you know, you just know. And I know Cammy is a good person. I can feel it in my bones and Mr. Military Special Ops Guy seems to agree or he wouldn’t have been so nice to her. If he was worried he wouldn’t have hesitated to pull a gun on her. I know that for a fact.

  Taking a sip of her water, Cammy says, “So what do you need me to do today?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. We ordered some furniture to be delivered later this week but I have no idea. You’re welcome to take the day off with full pay. James will take care of me. Why don’t you pack up your apartment or wherever it is you live? I’ll have James order a moving company to bring your stuff over this week.”

  A look of shock flashes across her lovely face. “You sure you shouldn’t speak to Johnathan first?”

  Okay, she’s right. “James, could you please pull the phone out of your pocket and dial Johnathan for me?”

  He listens and hands me the phone, as it’s ringing.

  “Yes James? Is Emily okay?”

  “It’s me. I wanted to tell you that I really like Cammy and she and Dylan are moving into the other house. James won’t be needing it.”

  There’s a long pause and all I can hear it Johnathan breathing into the receiver.

  “O…” his voice cracks and he clears his throat. “Ok. If you want that, baby. Then I guess it’s okay with me.”

  I don’t think he’s as excited about this as much as I thought he might be. He wanted her to work here. He wanted me to like her. Well I do and I feel sorry for her so that makes it even more important for me. Plus, I can tell she’s a good person. And James obviously likes her. I just hope it’s not an attraction for him or her. She is rather pretty and well, I look like a beached whale. With long red hair and green eyes.

  “I do want that. But are you sure you’re okay with it?”

  “Yes, I’ve met Dylan quite a few times and I like Cammy or I wouldn’t have given her the job. I’m just surprised, is all.”

  “Me too. But she thinks you’re nice Johnathan, so she might be a little crazy.” I tease with a chuckle “But I think most of us are a bit crazy,” I explain.

  We talk a little longer on the phone again. We’ve talked more in the past few days then we have in months, and sure he drives me bonkers, but I don’t want to kill him. Yet. I guess that’s a good sign. We hang up and I make sure Cammy has both mine and James’s cell numbers. Then I send her home. Happy as a bug in a rug.

  ***

  “I like her,” James says with a smile as he cuddles down next to me in the bed.

  “It better not be more.” I wag my finger playfully at him. Although I’m kind of serious.

  “Is someone worried that her man might be attracted to the new girl on the block?” He winks at me and I roll my eyes. Okay, I know I sound stupid to be worried. But I can’t help I’m insecure.

  I lay my head in his lap as his back lies against the white padded headboard. His fingers stroke my hair. It feels so nice.

  “I just don’t want to share you,” I mutter shyly and he chuckles.

  “I’ve went a lot of years never loving a woman. But I love you Emily. Cammy is pretty. But she’s not who I want.”

  “Even if I can’t have sex and look like a beached whale.”

  He scoffs a laugh and tugs my hair. “You are beautiful inside and out and I don’t want another woman. I’ve only ever had eyes for you since the first time I saw you on the Stricken tour bus.”

  I blush, brushing off his sweetness. “You did not.”

  “Yes I did. Look at me, my love.” He tilts my chin so I can lock my eyes with his and I dive into them with all my heart. “You, Emily are mine. My only love. You accept me for who I am...”

  I cut him off. “There is nothing to accept James, you are perfect.” I reach up and run my fingers down his stubbly five o-clock shadow and brush my fingertips over his big luscious lips. He kisses them with a smile. “I love you.”

  “And I love you,” he winks.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I’m now in my twenty third week of pregnancy and I am more miserable as each day passes. I had my doctor’s appointment this week, which James took me to, along with Cammy. She moved into the spare house with Dylan her adorable son who I love to pieces. James is obsessed with the kid and after about a week living together he’s already calling James, Papa Bear. I guess the name fits him. Cammy seems to really love living with us and I enjoy her company. We talk a lot of girl talk and Stacy just moved in last night, along with Kyle. Apparently, we don’t just get one gay guy, we get two. Which I am fine with. I really like Kyle.

  Johnathan just came back two nights ago to stay at the house. I had his bedroom set up for him upstairs and I’ve moved into the downstairs bedroom. James has a big overstuffed recliner he now lives in. Which I hate, I’d rather have him in bed with me. But the nice part is I get to be tucked in every night by him with a big fat juicy kiss on the lips. Which ignites my horniness but I make it simmer down. A little over a week without an orgasm and I’m powering through. With the help of sweet Cammy and James.

  “Hey beautiful, I got to get going,” James says, coming to the bedroom with a glass full of water for me and my vitamin.

  I frown. “Why?”

  He plops down on the side of the bed. “Johnathan needs me to do some stuff for him today. Cammy is here and Dylan is right outside dying to come in and cuddle with you.” He smiles and rubs my tummy. Pressing down a little on it, one of the babies kicks him and I giggle. I love they respond that well to him.

  “Okay, Papa Bear send in my buddy. What’s Cammy doing?”

  “She’s talking to Johnathan in her house and doing laundry…. Dylan, she’s decent, you can come on in,” he yells, and my favorite four year old comes pounding through the door as fast as can be and jumps onto the bed next to me with the biggest smile. I tickle his tummy and he lays his face on my belly.

  “How the babies, Mama Bear?” Dylan says, with his sweet little voice.

  “They are great Dylan, you can rub them.” I take his hand and press harder on my belly and try to find one of the kids awake. A roll jumbles inside and he squeals in delight.

  “I feel’d them. I feel’d them.” He smiles wide. “I can hears their hearts.” He giggles, placing his hand over his mouth. Which makes both me and James laugh.

  He can only hear mine but I’m not going to ruin it for him.

  Oh my, he’s the most precious little man ever. A day with him and he crawls into your heart and will never leave. Not that I’d want him too. He’s so stinking adorable and we watch Sponge Bob in bed as we eat popcorn and Cammy does chores. Ones that I should be doing but can’t. I really do feel like an invalid now.

  �
�Is there a little man in here bugging Emily?” Cammy says, standing in the doorway with a smile. She finds him in my room more times than not. We are buddies. I think it’s because I’m pregnant and he likes my belly and he also likes not going to daycare anymore. He’s told me that a quite a few times. James has taken him for a walk on the beach a few times this week. I could only hope to do that but I’m not allowed. So between James and I, he’s occupied.

  “Emily?” He squishes up his nose in disgust. “No Emily here. Mommy. Only Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear.” He points to himself.

  She laughs, shaking her head. “You are Dylan, not a Baby Bear.”

  He shakes his head in obvious frustration. “You mommy,” he points to Cammy. “She Mama Bear.” He points to me. “That Papa Bear.” He points to James and James grabs his little fingers and kisses them. Melting my heart all over again. God, he’s perfect. And Dylan giggles. “And I Baby Bear, mommy.” He declares with big brown eyes.

  “If you say so, Dylan.”

  He huffs. “Not Dylan, mommy, I’m Baby Bear,” he states in the most serious voice I’ve ever heard him use. And Cammy breaks into all out laughter and we join in and Dylan is obviously angry.

  “Okay… Baby Bear. Well this ice-cream sitting on the island in the kitchen is for a Dylan and I can’t find him. So would you like it instead?” she asks, still chuckling.

  He jumps off the bed and runs, grabbing his mother’s arm and pulls her to the ice-cream, I assume.

  “He’s adorable,” I smile.

  “Not as adorable as my woman.” James kisses my cheek and I blush. He’s so sweet.

  “You’re what!?” Johnathan screeches, coming into the bedroom.

  Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

  James stands up and as soon as he does Johnathan plows into him from the side, throwing him into the wall.

  “You, motherfucker, she’s mine!” Johnathan screams, punching James in the chest.

  “Stop it now!” I yell. “Stop it right now!”

  Johnathan starts to punch James again and James grabs his hands. “Stop hitting me Johnathan. Stop it, now. There is a child in this house and a woman pregnant with your children.” James tries to reason with a strong, firm tone.

  Johnathan doesn’t even hear him and plows into him again, his fist smashing into James’s cheek. I wince at the loud smacking noise that ricochets off the walls in my large bedroom. They both get into all-out brawl and grunts and punches are exchanged. It’s horrific to watch. But I can’t do a damn anything about it. All I do is scream, trying to make them stop.

  “What’s going on, Mama Bear?” Dylan comes into the door way worried, with big eyes and I freak out. I leap out of bed and quickly snatch him into my arms, carrying him from the room, out the backdoor and up onto the deck. I sit him down and Cammy is running out the backdoor.

  “What are you two doing?” She hollers.

  “The men are fighting and Dylan saw.” I say as calm as I can but I’m anything but.

  Oh fuck! I grab my stomach and all my world starts crashing down. I drop to the ground in severe pain. Oh shit! Oh shit, the babies. I hold my stomach and whimper in pain. Oh fuck this hurts.

  “Emily.” Cammy is by my side. “Emily, we need to get your to the doctor. Emily, you’re bleeding,” she yells as Dylan is standing next to me, watching all this play out. I reach out to him. His arms find my neck and I rub his back. Grinding my teeth in pain.

  “It’s okay Dylan, I’m going to be okay.” I take in a deep breath and hold back the tears of pain. I’m losing the babies. I know it. He starts to cry and I hear Cammy dialing 911.

  I can feel wetness between my legs. I can’t look down. I can’t see the babies. They are going to die. All because of me. I’m a terrible mother and now I’ll never be a mother. This was my only chance. Oh god, the pain!

  Everything happens in slow motion. James comes running out of the house with a bloody nose, Johnathan is slumped over running behind him. James holds me and Dylan in his arms as Johnathan cries, watching me bleed. The ambulance arrives and I can’t hear a thing. My body retreats into itself. It’s like I’m watching this all play out as a different person. My body all consumed in pain and anguish. I can’t feel or think of anything else.

  I’m riding in the back of an ambulance with James and Johnathan and I don’t even know how I got here. Someone is talking to me but I can’t hear him. Am I dying?

  “The babies,” I croak out.

  A bunch of more talking but I can’t hear them. What the hell? I can see James’s face cloaked in terror, Johnathan crying and two EMT’s working on my body that I can no longer feel. I’m strapped to a gurney and I can’t move. I look down and my belly is still there but I probably have dead babies inside of me. A man presses something into my IV and my eyes get heavy. I blink rapidly. I can’t go back to sleep, I need to stay awake. This might be the last time I ever see these men.

  I will my body to wiggle my fingers. I just hope it’s working.

  “I love you,” I think I say out loud but I can’t hear myself. “James,” I try to say. “I’m sorry,” I think I say and instantly I can’t keep my eyes open any longer.

  Chapter Twenty

  (James)

  This is ridiculous, I’ve been sitting in this waiting room for the past seven hours. And we still have no news except Emily’s in surgery. This shouldn’t have happened to her. I can’t help but feel I had something to do with it. I created the problem. If I just kept my job and my distance I wouldn’t have fallen in love with her. But it was impossible not to. Taking one look at her, I knew she was trouble. So when Johnathan ordered me to protect her, I wasn’t going to say no. I’d had enough of watching him sleep with women to last me a lifetime. But I never hated my job. I kept him from drowning in a puddle of puke a few times, got rid of the women he needed me to and I’ve been paid handsomely for putting up with his childish games. I’ve tried to take him under my wing but he’s not one to relent his ways willingly. Until Emily came along and he’s brought his terrible behavior down to a small simmer. But a lot of bad things he still does it at her expense. Which is not okay with me.

  I can’t say I feel sorry that he found out about us. He’s hurt her numerous times and I’ve been patient and kind, allowing her to see the light on her own time. He’s not good for her. He takes her for granted, and if she only knew that he is dating Cammy behind her back and has been for the past month. He doesn’t know that I know about them. But it’s obvious. I’m just doing my job and keeping my mouth shut. That’s their business, not mine and as long as she’s in love with me, he can’t hurt her. I won’t allow that to happen ever again. I try to shield her from so much. Like his lying. Which he does all the time. The other day when he took her to the house, which I already knew he bought and was giving to her. It’s my job to know these things. Davis and I keep in close contact. We’re both government operatives. It’s part of the code. That’s why I had him hired, to keep an eye on Johnathan and keep him from breaking the woman I love’s heart over and over again. He’s very good at that and she just takes it like the brave beautiful woman she is. She’s perfect.

  I’m just thankful she’s not his anymore. She’s mine and I’ll be damned if anyone including God himself takes her from me. I didn’t endure this much pain in life not to deserve a little happiness. She is my happiness and I just pray that her and those babies survive whatever caused her hemorrhage. I saw the blood and it was a lot. That’s why I just donated my type O blood for them to use about three hours ago. Stacy just showed up and is balling like a baby in his boyfriends arms. I called Emily’s parents and her mom is hoping the next flight out. Cammy is here with Johnathan, consoling him and Dylan is with Davis’s wife. She was the only woman I would trust to take him. He’s a great little guy and I will protect him too. It’s my thing, I guess. That’s something Emily would tease me about. I try to take care of everyone else and not myself, she’d say. Oh, what I’d give to hear her beautiful voice again. The v
oice that awakens that need to protect and mark her as mine.

  “What if she dies?” Stacy blubbers in the corner.

  “She’s not going to die, sweetie.” Kyle strokes his shaggy blonde hair.

  I’m the only person without anyone and the only person I’d want is in surgery.

  I’m leaning against the wall of the waiting room. Cammy has her arms wrapped around Johnathan. If my Mama Bear saw this, she’d know instantly he’s been dating her. I don’t know why he keeps leading her to believe he wants her still. Either he is trying to win Emily back and using Cammy as an extra on the side. Which he’s known for. Or he just doesn’t know how to let go of Emily and be with Cammy. He’s been determined for months to end up with Emily. She is the one who made him want to be a better man. But he can’t have her. She’s mine.

  “I’m here with news of Emily.” Dr.Golds comes in with big dark circles under her eyes.