by Lynne Graham
With a stifled groan, Rauf flipped over onto his stomach and endeavoured to control an imagination that for all his maturity was outrageously keen to zoom to the forbidden heights of male fantasy. Served him bloody well right, he told himself as his aroused sex ached with the hunger she stirred in him with such ease. Lily had said he was always totally wrapped up in himself and he could now be tormented by the knowledge that, while telling himself he only wanted to take her thoughts off the distress he had caused, he had for an inexcusable instant considered an erotic bout of passion in the hamam as a cure. A cure for what or whom? Where was his respect?
Lily turned over and stretched out uncertain fingers to touch his. ‘You’re very quiet.’
‘I am only hot.’ Making that charged admission, Rauf barely lifted his proud dark head.
His own family would be ashamed of him. That he had treated an innocent young woman, who had once loved him, as though she were one of the many practised lovers who had slept with him to sate a desire as basic and fleeting as his own. Lily was different. Lily had always been different, yet he knew that even three years ago he had fought that truth with every fibre of his being.
Disturbed by his tension, Lily sat up and whispered worriedly, ‘You do believe what I told you about Brett?’
‘Yes,’ Rauf ground out, struggling to achieve mastery over a wild tide of imaginative excesses and concentrate on less dangerous and more important issues.
Shifting to within inches of him, Lily studied him and tingled. His sleek brown back was taut with male power and muscle and the smooth, powerful expanse glistened with moisture. A wicked pulse stirred at the heart of her and she pressed her thighs together in mortified acknowledgement of the fierce hold he had on both her heart and her body and rested back down again by his side. In the rushing atmospheric silence, only broken by the soft sound of running water, she snatched in a shaken breath for already her breasts felt languorous and heavy, the tender buds stiff and sensitive. He had taught her to want him and now the wanting came on its own and she could not control it.
‘Maybe I should go back to bed…’ Lily muttered shamefacedly.
Rauf glanced across at her, shimmering golden eyes encountering hers and reading a guilty longing there that smashed his own self-command. In the space of a moment, he reacted with all the fire of his passionate temperament. One hand closing into her tumbled hair, he brought his mouth crashing down on hers with a fierce, driving hunger that made her gasp in surprise and then in helpless pleasure.
‘I can’t resist you…I look at you and I burn,’ Rauf breathed thickly, his desire for her a fiery blaze in his possessive gaze.
Her heart hammered as lean brown fingers flicked loose the end of the towel she had tucked in and spread the two sides apart to bare her body for his appreciation. Quivering, Lily watched his heated gaze drop to the wanton sight of her straining nipples, and then he ran his tongue over the prominent buds at the same time as he stroked apart her thighs and touched her where she was so very desperate to be touched.
Excitement took her in a wave of such blinding intensity that she was lost from that instant on. He spread her out like a willing sacrifice for his enjoyment and worked his erotic way down over her shivering, gasping length until the only awareness she possessed centred on the incredible heights of sensation her own body was capable of reaching. No, she could never have guessed that anything could be as powerful as her own total absorption in what he could make her feel. When a shattering climax gripped her and hurled her even higher, she could only moan and cling to him in ecstasy, only afterwards realising in extreme embarrassment and confusion that she had reached that ultimate height without his having made love to her and that, indeed, all the pleasure had been hers and none of it his.
‘Why…? I mean—?’ Lily began to mumble as she grabbed frantically at the towel beneath her, desperate for its concealment.
Holding her close, Rauf smoothed her hair back from her damp brow with an unsteady hand. ‘I couldn’t protect you…I won’t risk getting you pregnant,’ he admitted in a ragged undertone, for even her bewilderment at his restraint was more than his conscience could stand at that instant. ‘Go back to my room and sleep, güzelim. Later, we’ll talk.’
At that reference to pregnancy Lily tensed, realising with dismay that she ought to have had sufficient common sense to have foreseen that danger for herself. Pulling the towel round herself with hands that were all fingers and thumbs, she slid off the platform onto limbs that were still weak as water and hurried back into the changing room without looking back. He made her feel like a wanton. He made her realise that she had not known herself until he had shown her what passion was.
Lean, strong face grim with the gravity of thoughts that he could no longer avoid, Rauf plunged into the icy pool. From the very outset of Lily’s arrival in his country, he saw that he had been selfish, in fact reckless in his treatment of her. He had brought her to Sonngul, taken her to his own bed and within a very little while, for gossip was the very food of life to his people, half the neighbourhood would be scandalised by that news. The standards of moral behaviour that prevailed in the countryside were very much higher than those of the slick city society in which he moved and he had no excuse to offer on his own behalf. Were word of the intimacy of his relationship with Lily to reach the ears of the army officer, Talip Hajjar, the older man’s belief in her respectability would sink without trace.
Rauf squared his broad shoulders and swung back out of the pool. The anger of the past had powered his initial aggressive attitude and the strength of his hunger for her had led him on to a dishonourable path before he had even registered the danger and the wrong of what he’d been doing. There was only one way in which he could make appropriate amends and protect Lily: he would marry her. With as much haste and secrecy as his wealth could buy him, he would get a wedding ring on her finger before any damage could be done to her reputation. She deserved his respect and the protection of his name.
CHAPTER SEVEN
ALTHOUGH Lily had not believed that she could sleep again, the minute her head touched the pillow she sank into a deep slumber. She wakened when a maid entered bearing a laden tray and was startled to realise that it was almost two in the afternoon; the snatched and broken hours of rest she had suffered since her arrival in Turkey had finally taken their toll.
Even as she ate, all she could think about was Rauf. Everything had happened so incredibly fast and hadn’t she encouraged that? Hadn’t she been ready to do almost anything to get a second chance with Rauf? Her troubled face flamed with guilty colour. She remembered her total absorption in Rauf at dawn, the shameless speed with which she had succumbed to her own passionate need for him and abandoned all control. For a lowering instant, she wondered how he had transformed her into a wanton creature without apparent self-will.
But then wasn’t that her old insecurity and lack of self-esteem creeping back up out of her subconscious again? For the very first time, Lily told herself, she had reached out and taken what she wanted and she had wanted Rauf. She had always wanted Rauf. Acknowledging that, she was proud that she had found the courage that she had once lacked. She felt alive again and it had been too long since she had felt like that. When had she last been so happy? That summer with Rauf three years back. For Lily, that single fact outweighed all else for simple happiness had been in too short a supply throughout her life.
When she heard the noisy clickety-clack of a helicopter coming in low to land, she was putting on a grey short-sleeved cotton dress that Hilary had loaned her and she hurried over to the window to push back the shutter. From there, she watched Rauf spring out of the craft and stride towards the house. Just looking at the arrogant angle of his dark head, the hard, masculine perfection of his bold profile and the lithe power and command of his tall, well-built frame made her heart leap.
Rauf had had an exceptionally busy morning. He had embarked on the arrangements for a civil wedding in a remote mountain town where
his name was unlikely to be recognised and where nothing any journalist might consider worthy of note appeared ever to have happened. He had then flown over to the former mining village to meet with the builders ripped off by Brett Gilman. Over a very long, typically Turkish male-bonding session, he had contrived to dissuade them from dropping the charges against Gilman. He was justly proud that he had achieved that feat without offending their need to demonstrate gratitude for the compensation he had paid.
He stopped with deliberate intent to chat to Irmak, his middle-aged and devout housekeeper, who had been most noticeable by the low profile she had embraced since Lily’s arrival at Sonngul. Asking where Lily was, he referred to her as his wife while affecting not to notice the surprise, excitement and sheer relief that Irmak was incapable of concealing from him. Although he hated to tell an untruth, he already thought of Lily as his wife and, when it came to protecting her and redressing the damage he had done, he could not regret it.
Rauf strode up the stairs into the basoda and saw Lily, her lovely face warm with self-conscious colour, rising from the window-seat in the far corner to greet him. In one glance, he took in her ill-fitting drab dress that even his great-grandmother would have been challenged to admire and knew that his first gift to Lily when she became his wife would be a new wardrobe.
‘I slept for absolutely ages,’ Lily remarked in a stilted rush, assailed by a tide of discomfiture as she recalled her own abandoned response to his expertise in the hamam.
‘I had some business to take care of,’ Rauf drawled, catching her slim, restive hands in the gentle hold of his to draw her forward.
As Lily tilted her head back to look up into his dark golden gaze, familiar butterflies broke loose in her tummy, followed by a coiling twist of wicked heat that made her breath catch in her throat. She wanted that hard, handsome mouth on her own so badly she could almost taste it, almost taste him. A wanton little frisson of pure, helpless longing slivered through her taut figure.
‘No, we’re not heading back to bed, güzelim,’ Rauf murmured in rueful reproach as if she had spoken that invitation out loud. Pressing her back down onto the divan behind her, he withdrew a step. ‘Yesterday you asked me if I was in the habit of rushing into sudden passionate encounters with women and I said, “Not since I was a teenager”…an answer that should have given me pause for serious thought.’
‘I don’t understand…’ As Rauf released her hand, a chill of fear spread through Lily’s tense body. Was he saying that making love to her had been a mistake? A mistake he regretted and did not intend to repeat?
‘Here in my home land, women may be the equal of men in law but if a woman embraces sexual freedom, she will lose her good name,’ Rauf admitted, assessing her pale set face and lowered eyes with concern. ‘If I keep you here at Sonngul, if we continue as we have begun, you will be regarded as my mistress and, no matter what happens in the future, your reputation will be irreparably damaged.’
His mistress. It had a sexy, adventurous sound to it, Lily conceded with a certain amount of pride in that designation. She loved him. Her bland workaday world had been transformed into one of colour, passion, sunlight and emotion. She did not regret sharing his bed. If she could be with him, she told herself that she did not care either what label people might put on her.
‘I understand…’ Lily focused with self-conscious care on the gorgeous rug on the floor. ‘That’s not a problem.’
Thrown by that unforeseen response, Rauf settled incredulous and startled golden eyes on her down-bent head. ‘It’s not?’
Emerging from her sybaritic vision of being Rauf’s mistress and lolling about like Cleopatra on imaginary satin couches, Lily came back down to earth with a bump the minute she thought about how her sister would react to that same label. Hilary would be outraged if Lily accepted that kind of role in Rauf’s life. But if that was all that was on offer, how would walking away from the guy she loved benefit her? With the conviction that she was abiding by the principles that she had already compromised but ultimately done the right thing? At that moment, that did not seem much of a consolation prize for surrendering the wonder of being with Rauf.
‘Actually, being a mistress is something I’d have to think over…very carefully,’ Lily admitted in a strained conclusion, cringing at an all-too-real image of Hilary coming all the way to Turkey just to give Rauf, who was not her favourite person, a piece of her mind.
‘Or we could go for the alternative option,’ Rauf countered, vibrant amusement brimming in his eyes before he veiled them in haste and reminded himself never, ever again to consider accepting Lily’s first answer to a thought-provoking question. ‘We could pay the price for being impulsive and indiscreet and just get married.’
Blue eyes widening to their fullest extent, Lily lifted her golden head and stared at him in thunderstruck amazement.
‘A choice we have to make right now, I’m afraid.’ Lean, powerful face taut, Rauf compressed his wide, passionate mouth. ‘My family could never accept a woman who has lived openly with me as my bride. I owe both them…and you more respect than I have so far shown.’
Slowly, Lily began breathing again. ‘You’re serious about this. But I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re suggesting that we marry just because we’ve…well, you know—’
‘I know very well. I still desire you more than any other woman I have ever met, güzelim.’
Her eyes shone overbright and she screened them, her throat aching. ‘But that’s not enough, is it? Especially not for someone like you who’s always hated the very idea of getting married.’
That was the moment when Rauf appreciated that he had expected Lily to accept his proposal practically before he finished speaking. Was he really that arrogant? Faint colour darkened his superb cheekbones as he braced himself to find persuasive arguments when he had already given her the only reason he considered important and it was simple, straightforward and sensible: he wanted her within reach twenty-four hours a day.
‘People change.’
‘But you said you would never change,’ Lily reminded him helplessly.
Rauf spread lean, impatient hands wide. ‘You shouldn’t believe everything you’re told. That was three years ago. I can now see many ways in which a wife would be useful to me—’
‘Useful…’ Lily studied his lean, devastatingly handsome features with a sinking heart.
‘I own three homes here in Turkey, an apartment in New York and another in London. A wife could take charge of them and be my hostess when I entertain…and eventually I believe I would like a child.’ It was an ambition that had never before occurred to Rauf and when those words emerged from him of their own apparent volition he was as taken aback as she was.
‘Honestly?’ Lily gave him what could only be described as a misty-eyed look of mingled surprise and hope.
Recognising that, while she had seemed seriously underwhelmed by the amount of property he owned, that reference to his own previously unsuspected desire to multiply had struck a pure-gold chord with her, Rauf did not hesitate. ‘Honestly,’ he confirmed. ‘So, how will you answer me now?’
‘I’d like about four,’ Lily confided abstractedly, fighting to keep her head out of the clouds, thinking that she could settle for caring and affection and children without too much difficulty. All right, he wasn’t offering love. It wasn’t the whole fairy-tale fantasy she might once have cherished in her secret dreams, but if Rauf wanted to marry her she was not about to turn him down.
Rauf expelled his breath in a startled hiss. ‘Four?’
‘Two?’ Lily bargained, recognising that she had been too frank, too soon.
‘We’ll think that over. I should tell you that I’ve already made a preliminary booking for us to be married in a civil ceremony tomorrow afternoon.’
‘Tomorrow?’ Lily gasped, while noting that he had had the assurance to go ahead and embark on those arrangements before he had even mentioned marriage to her. However, taking into a
ccount his prior aversion to connubial bliss, she was much inclined to believe that a demonstration of such enthusiasm was encouraging and ought to be rewarded rather than censured.
‘I intend to allow it to be assumed that we married before we even arrived at Sonngul. In that scenario, we then stole a couple of days alone here together before we could bring ourselves to share our good news with the outside world,’ Rauf imparted very drily. ‘My family will be so delighted that I’ve finally found a bride, I don’t envisage awkward questions on that score. You will be received by my relatives as if you are the Eighth Wonder of the World. Throw in the news that you want four children and a red carpet will be rolled out from here to Istanbul.’
Lily blushed and then just laughed. ‘Tomorrow…’ she repeated afresh, still not knowing whether she was on her head or her heels. ‘What will I wear?’
‘Nothing likely to attract too much attention to us,’ Rauf advised.
Obviously even a hint of bridal apparel would be way out of line. Her shoulders drooped a little. ‘Do we have to get married as if we’re the SAS on a covert operation?’
‘If we don’t want to publish the fact that we have been intimate without that legal tie in place…yes.’ Rauf dealt her troubled expression a grim look of acknowledgement. ‘It’s my fault that it has to be that way, but once tomorrow is over we can put this unfortunate beginning behind us.’
‘When I tell Hilary about this, she’ll think I’ve gone crazy.’ Lily sighed in a daze.
‘As your husband, I’ll be able to sort out the mess Gilman left in his wake without too much argument from your family,’ Rauf contended with satisfaction.
‘As sons-in-law go, I expect you qualify as quite a catch,’ Lily mused with a dizzy smile as she studied him. He was drop-dead gorgeous and he was going to be hers for ever. She wanted to dance round the room, do mad, silly, childish things. Wow, she was getting married. Wow, was this really happening to her? Ought she to be worrying about the reality that he was behaving out of character? She worried at her lower lip, conscience stirring. This was a once very cautious, very clever and very grounded guy suddenly acting in a very impetuous way.