He reached out for her hand. Once again his look was intense. She remembered what had happened between them last week. She remembered how it had made her feel. She put her hand into his.
There was a flash. An image so clear it could have been happening as she stood there. Matt holding her hand in a church. The priest stood in front of them. He was smiling at them both. She had looked at Matt and felt such happiness, they had done it at last, they were married. He had leaned over to kiss her….
“Christine, are you ok?”
She looked up at him. “Are you remembering?” he said, “Is it coming back?”
“I …I saw something…a church.”
“Yes, yes,” he looked excited. “The church.”
“We’ve never been in a church together though,” she said, trying to pull away. “I hardly know you Matt. We just work together.”
He looked stung. “No, you know that’s not true. That’s how it is there not here. You’re my wife.”
“What!” she snatched her hand away. “What are you talking about?”
“Come and sit down and I’ll explain. I’ll tell you everything.”
He was reaching for her hand again but she backed away.
“You’re crazy. How did you get me here? What are you doing to me?”
“I’m not doing anything. You’re here because you live here. This is your home.”
Before she could answer she heard more movement upstairs.
“She’s awake,” he said, looking up. He then turned to her. “Don’t scare her again Chris. She doesn’t understand. Listen to me - in the other world go and see Dr Priestley. He’s a physicist. He doing a lecture series in St Mary’s church. Go to it. If you won’t talk to me go to him, he will explain everything.”
“Who are you talking about?” said Christine, “What do you mean?”
But before he could answer another person appeared at the top of the stairs.
“Mum, you’re back!”
It was the little girl she had met days ago. Teresa. She knew for certain that was her name. And at that the pain was back. She put her hands to her head and closed her eyes. White lights danced before her. She felt someone move to grab her before she fell but they were too late. She hit the floor with a thump and then darkness.
When she opened her eyes she was all alone. A smashed coffee pot was on the floor beside her. She sat up and looked around. She was in her kitchen. She stood up shakily and leaned against the kitchen worktop to try and steady herself. Water, have some water, she told herself. Unsteadily she walked to the cupboard to get a glass and then returned to the sink. She filled it with water and noticed her hand trembling as she did so. She walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa. She sipped the water. She didn’t want to think about what had just happened but couldn’t escape the image of Matt and the little girl. What was happening to her? This was not like any illness she had ever heard about.
She knew she was scared now. Terrified she was losing her mind. Terrified she was insane. And yet… and yet… there was something else. The house, Matt, the girl, the image of the wedding. It all felt strangely familiar. The little girl, the name, it was like an echo of something she had known years ago.
What did it all mean? She needed to speak to Damien. Not about this of course. She didn’t even know how to start speaking about this. But she needed to hear his voice. Needed to know this was the real world and that he was her husband.
She got the phone and rang his mobile number. After three rings he picked up.
“Hello,” she said, “Everything ok?”
“Yes, everything’s fine with me. Are you ok though? I thought you’d be in work by now.”
She realised she didn’t know what time it was. She looked at the clock. 9.30. She was late.
“Yes, I don’t feel hundred percent so I’m going in later,” she said. It was half true.
“Why don’t you take the day off if you’re not well?” he said.
“I can’t. I’ve got too much to do. I have to go in.”
“Have you taken anything?”
“No but I’ll take some headache tablets, I’ll be fine.” She hesitated, and then, “I’m missing you today.”
“Aww babe. That’s sweet. I’m missing you too. Try and finish early this evening and we’ll spend some time together.”
“Okay,” she said. She felt tears start to prick her eyes. He must have sensed something.
“Are you’re sure you’re feeling better. Don’t go in if you’re not. You don’t sound right.”
“I’m fine, Damien, honestly. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Ring me later if you need me,” he said. “I’ll have finished my appointments by one.”
“Okay. Speak to you later. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
She switched off the phone. Why did she feel as if she was betraying Damien? What was happening to her? Why was she seeing such things?
She sat back on the sofa. She had no idea what to do next. The doctor’s appointment was not until next week. And what could she say to the doctor? She realised she was scared of being committed to a mental hospital. That’s what they did to people like her didn’t they?
She could do with a drink. Not at 9.30 in the morning you don’t said her inner voice sternly. And it won’t help. It never does.
Right, I need to go to work then, she said to herself. She stood up. But then she remembered the smashed coffee pot in the kitchen. She had to clean that up first. She went into the kitchen and got out the dustpan and brush and started cleaning up the glass splinters. She carefully wrapped them up in newspaper and put them in the bin. Job done she put away the dustpan and brush.
This is the answer she though. Action. Work. No time for thinking.
And with that firmly in mind she went up the stairs to get changed for work. Whatever was happening would be sorted out. In the meantime she just had to get on with things.
CHAPTER SEVEN
But of course focusing on work was easier said than done. The images of everything she had seen, not just today but everything over the past week kept flooding back to her. And even more distant memories than that - the voices she had heard as a child. What did it all mean?
At one o'clock she found herself looking up Matt’s extension number in the phone directory. What had he said to her last week? Are you seeing her too? And in that dream, that vision - whatever it was - he had mentioned a Dr Priestley. She had looked him up on the internet this morning. He was indeed a physicist in the university. And dream Matt, vision Matt, had been right - he was delivering a series of lectures in St Mary’s church. The first was tonight. If it was all her imagination how could she have known that? What if this wasn’t an illness? What if it was something else?
What are you saying, she asked herself. She brushed the question away. All she knew was she needed to speak to Matt. She should have spoken to him before anyway. She should have sorted things out after the first conversation. But now this had happened as well. She thought again of the image of the wedding. It had seemed so real. And so very different from her wedding to Damien. They had married in a registry office, a low key affair. There had been twenty guests and it had rained so the photos were taken indoors. Then they had all adjourned to the local restaurant where most of the family had spent the afternoon getting drunk and bickering. Chris had not enjoyed the day. She’d had a blinding headache by the time it was over. Then there’d been a mix up with the bill - the restaurant manager had no record of the deposit they had already paid for the food and there had been a dispute. She remembered Damien coming out to see what was going on and helping her sort everything out while the rest of the family continued to get more and more drunk. Finally it was over and wearily they had climbed into the taxi to go home. All she had wanted to do was sleep.
“My wife,” Damien had murmured in her ear as the taxi drove through the rain soaked streets. And it was at that moment only, at that moment finally, that s
he had felt happy. Thinking back to the day itself still made her feel sad.
The image – or was it a memory? - of the other wedding felt very different. As she thought about it more details seemed to come back to her. There had been many more guests at that wedding, over a hundred. There had been a wonderful atmosphere – everyone had been looking forward to this day for so long. The sun had been shining. People had told her she looked beautiful in her dress and Matt's face when he had first turned to look at her confirmed it. And she had felt happy, happy from the moment her father let go of her hand and placed it in Matt’s.
Stop it. Stop it. She halted her reverie. Was she making this up? Was she indulging in a fantasy? She looked around her. Everyone was busy working, typing emails, arranging meetings, making telephone calls. What was she doing sitting here fantasising about a wedding that never happened to a man she hardly knew.
She looked down at her desk. Matt’s extension was scrawled on her notepad. Should she ring him? Should she talk to him? In answer to her own question she picked up the phone and started to dial.
He answered on the second ring. The phones they had in work displayed the name of the person ringing so he knew it was her.
“Hello Matt,” she said uncertainly.
“Hello. Are you ok?” he asked immediately. It was as if he had been waiting for her to ring, expecting to hear from her.
She paused. She didn’t know what to say. Then the words came.
“I need to see you.”
“I’ve been hoping you’d call.”
“When is best for you?”
“Shall we go out for lunch?”
She thought a moment. How would that look? What if she was seen?
As if reading her thoughts he spoke.
“We can meet in the car park. I know a pub we can go to. There won’t be anyone there who knows us.”
How did he know about local out of the way pubs she wondered? Did he often use them? She felt an ache, a jealousy that she knew she should not be feeling.
“Sounds fine,” she said. “Tomorrow?”
“Yes – I’ll meet you in the car park at twelve.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
She put the phone down. What had she just agreed to? Going out to lunch in a remote pub with a man she hardly knew to discuss something she didn’t understand.
Suddenly an email popped up on her screen. From Matt. It read simply:
“I know you’re scared and have lots of questions. But I can help. I promise. And go to Dr Priestley’s lecture tonight. It will explain things. ”
She reread it. It seemed as if he knew what she was going through but how could that be? And what about this physicist? Should she go to the lecture?
She didn’t reply to the email. She wouldn’t have known what to say if she had. The rest of the day passed quickly. Work was busy and almost, almost, took her mind off what was happening. At four she decided to finish work early and go into town. She would not admit to herself that she intended going to the lecture, she was just going to go into town and see how she felt when she was there. She texted Damien. “Fancy meeting up in town tonight for food and drink before going home.” He texted back almost immediately, “Great. I’ll see you in the Three Tuns. Can’t wait.” It was their usual meeting place.
On the bus she thought about what the next day could bring. She felt nervous and shy at the thought of meeting Matt, but there was also excitement too. She realised she wanted to spend some time with him, to get to know him. Immediately she felt guilty. She was going to sit tonight with Damien talking about everything that had happened that day but really talking about nothing. How long could she keep this up?
You’re doing this to protect him, said her inner voice. Remember that. It’s pointless telling him anything until you speak to the doctor.
But a part of her wondered at that. Was that really the reason she wasn’t telling him what had been happening? Or was it more the fact she wanted to keep Matt secret, that she was feeling something for a man she hardly knew that was making her feel guilty, as if she was betraying her marriage vows. But which vows? It was as if two memories of two different weddings were now vying for attention and loyalty.
In town she wandered aimlessly from shop to shop. Many were already getting ready to close up even though it was not yet five o'clock. She looked at the clothes in Next, the food hall in M&S and then walked around the local market, tempted by the fruits and cheeses but resisting in the end. Nothing really held her attention for long. She felt restless and ill at ease. Everything seemed strange and unfamiliar. It must be because I haven’t been in town for ages she said to herself, but even that didn’t ring true.
She left the market and walked to St Mary’s church. It was half past five, the time the lecture was due to start. St Mary’s was one of her favourite churches in the city. It stood out in the middle of the bustling town square, spiritual refuge amongst a backdrop of bargains and sales and price drops. The grounds were well kept. People sat on the benches that were dotted all around, enjoying the peace. In the growing twilight the light that shone from the open church door and through the stained glass windows was welcoming. Christine walked to the door and stood in the foyer. She could hear voices inside. She saw a notice pinned to the inner door. “A Universe of Pure Potentiality – a talk by Dr Priestley.” Intrigued she opened the door and entered the church.
There were about a dozen people sitting in the pews, occupying the first two rows. As quietly as possible she walked down the aisle and slid into a seat at the end of the third row.
The lecturer hadn’t started his presentation yet. The talking she had heard had been the audience members’ low murmurings to each other as they waited for him to begin. He was in discussion with one of the audience members and she saw him give the woman a pamphlet. He then shook her hand and walked over to the lectern. Shuffling his papers he coughed and then began.
“It is with great pleasure that I’m here today in this wonderful St Mary’s Church. What a beautiful stunning building in which to discuss and contemplate the mysteries of the universe and the pure potentiality it offers us at every turn.”
“Now you might be wondering what a physicist is doing giving a talk in a church. And you’d be right to wonder this. For this will be a lecture about physics, have no misunderstanding. And it will not be easy physics.”
A few nervous chuckles greeted this.
“But this is the right place for this presentation. For what I will tell you today about the quantum mysteries of this universe and the existence – the undeniable existence – of multiple universes – is arguably proof of the wisdom of God.”
Christine leant forward. Multiple universes. Her heart started hammering in her chest. She had studied physics in school but had covered nothing like this.
She looked around and noticed something - something she should have noticed when she first entered the church. How could she have been so oblivious? This was the church. This was the church in that dream (memory?). The church in which she had married Matt - a man, she reminded herself again, that she hardly knew.
She turned back to Dr Priestley. She had to listen to this lecture, she had to understand what he meant by multiple universes.
“I am going to tell you today about a world only now observable by scientists, a world where multiple realities are possible and a world where time travel is a daily reality. I am going to tell you about the quantum world.”
He paused and looked at the audience. He then moved away from the lectern and stood just a foot or so away from the front row.
Life Shift Page 4