by Dale, Lindy
“I don’t know how this works,” she commented, suddenly feeling brave enough to share, “But whenever you’re around it’s as if I’m calmer. I feel safe or soothed or something, like you’ve washed away my worries. Even the stupid mark seems insignificant. It’s like I want to be with you all the time and nothing else matters.”
She turned her head and looked at him. His face was impassive so she continued, “You know, I didn’t even like you that much when we first met. I mean, apart from you being cute and all.” She blushed, disbelieving that she’d just confessed the intimate detail. It had slipped out; she hadn’t even known she was going to say it.
This time Cam pursed his lips. “It happens. A bond can develop between the angel and the protected one. It’s chemical. The more time we spend together, the stronger the attachment. It isn’t a true feeling of affection.”
So, she wasn’t really crushing on him. It was all in her head then. And the way she caught Cam looking at her every now and again? That was the same thing, right? She could always test it. See whether or not his feeling ran deeper.
“Sometimes I get the same type of feeling with Zac. He makes my heart race so fast; I find it hard not to faint. But then he goes and acts all stupid or tries to kiss me and it goes away.”
Cam seemed amused at the fact. “Probably teenage hormones.”
“You totally read my mind then! You promised you wouldn’t.”
His smile was easy. “If you resort to dirty tactics to trick me, I have no choice but to follow suit.”
“I was only…”
“I know exactly what you were doing but you can give it up.” He reached across and touched her hand gently. That feeling filled her body again and she relaxed. “I’m not in love with you, I promise.”
Lacey felt a little deflated. He could have at least pretended.
“So, if you’re the angel of unconditional love and you have free will… can you fall in love?”
“It’s possible but, personally, I’ve never felt that type of connection to a human. Angels are servants of God. Our first priority is to Him.”
“So you’ve never been in love….you know, like with someone you’ve helped?”
“I could never let it happen. My duty to my Heavenly Father would be compromised should I ever choose to fall in love. That’s not to say that others haven’t felt a pull strong enough to want to give up Heaven, though.”
Lacey went on to tell Cam of her little shopping expedition and the now useless cleaning products. Apparently, Aunt Beth had been quite shocked to discover the chemicals Lacey had left in her eco-friendly laundry cupboard.
Cam looked concerned. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. I’m here to protect you, but I can’t help you if you’re dead.”
Lacey nodded and promised. She didn’t want to think about Lucifer’s Mark, and curses and demons anymore. It made her head hurt and anyway, Cam would take care of her. As he’d already reminded her, it was his job.
“So how old are you, exactly?” she asked. “I mean you look about nineteen but I know that can’t be right.”
Cam had his face up to the sun but she saw his lips curve into the hint of a smile as if it wasn’t the first time he’d been asked the question. “I’m ageless. Angels aren’t human. We don’t age as you do.”
She studied the flick of golden locks that never required cutting, so carefully styled around his face, the angular lines of the jaw he never shaved, the smooth skin that led to his throat and tried not to sigh. “So, you’ll look the same forever, then? Like you do now?”
“If that’s what the situation requires. An angel can take on many forms when on Earth, Lacey. I chose this form because I thought you would respond to it.”
She blushed a little at the comment. Did he think because he was hot she’d be more likely to notice him? Well, she had news for him. She’d seen lots of hot boys in her life. Yes, he was beautiful, she’d admitted that to herself the first time she saw him, but she’d never considered herself to be so shallow as to like a person - angel- just for their looks.
Next to her, Cam’s smile changed to a cheeky smirk. Damn it, he’d read her thoughts again.
“Can you please stop doing that? I know you know what I’m thinking and it does my head in.” He had no right to go lurking around in her private thoughts. “It’s a bit hard to have a conversation when you already know the answer.”
“Sorry, I’ll try to stay out of your head. It’s just that your thoughts are so out there.”
“Now you’re saying I’m weird!” Offended, she gestured to his body. “Um, you’re the angel, not me.”
Cam laughed, an easy laugh. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant you put your thoughts out in space. It makes it easy to read you.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
They sat for a moment in silence, both staring at the sun and feeling its autumn warmth on their bodies.
“Tell me something about you, Lacey,” Cam whispered at last. “Something nobody knows.”
“If you can read my mind why don’t you just look for yourself?”
“Because you told me not to. Besides, I want it to come from you.”
Lacey sucked on her lip. There was nothing anybody who mattered didn’t know. She’d laid her whole life out in public before she left home. It was one of the reasons she’d needed a new start. “There’s nothing.”
Cam gave her a look.
“Alright. Um, I hate cabbage. I’ve always hated it. Mum made me eat it and I did it to please her but I still hated it. Sometimes I used to store it in my cheeks and spit it down the toilet after dinner.”
“I think it stinks, too. But that’s not what I meant. I want something from deep inside you.”
Lacey sucked in a deep breath and held it. “I used to wish my mother was dead. Then she died.” There. How was that for something deep? His little angel face couldn’t stay calm at that.
Cam thought for a moment. Then, slowly his fingers folded over hers and his other hand crept across her lap to join them. “You don’t have to feel guilty, Lacey. People can’t die from your thoughts.”
Lacey looked down into her lap. His hands were warm and reassuring. They were stirring up those feelings again.
“But I do,” she whispered. “I feel guilty every day.”
“Because you did what every teenager does when they can’t get their own way? You wished your parents were dead?”
Throwing his hands away, Lacey jumped to her feet, screaming, “No! Because I killed her, okay? It was my fault and then I added fuel to the fire by trying to kill myself too!”
Cam stood. His tender hands lay on her shoulders, calming her. His ocean green eyes sought hers. “I know.”
“But how? How long have you known? Why didn’t you do something to stop all this, if you knew?”
“I can’t change the course of fate. You had to experience all the hurt and anguish in order to learn. All I could do was try to ease the pain without intervening on a physical level. That was why I sent you the signs.”
Cam slid a lock of her hair through his fingers and gently placed it behind Lacey’s back. He replaced the space where it had been with his hand and gave a soft caress. Her smell, like fresh picked flowers, permeated his skin and he felt a longing he knew was wrong. This was nothing to do with the angel-human bond. Not that he could ever tell Lacey that.
“I’d been given my mission to protect you a while before your mother died and was busy planning how I would do this when I heard your pleas for help. So, I did what I could, and then I came here to wait for you. This is the place where Lucifer will come for you. I had to be here when you arrived.”
“So you’d never actually seen me I got here?”
“No, I’d only heard your thoughts. But the first time we met, I knew it was you. I could see it in your eyes. You looked pretty damaged.”
Hell, if he had seen - a total stranger - had everyone? Did the whole town know Lacey had tried to knock herself
off because she was so wracked by the guilt of having killed her own mother?
“I killed her Cam,” she sniffed. “It was my fault. I was driving the car and we were arguing because I wanted to go to the city for the holidays and we didn’t have enough money. I was being selfish and childish and thoughtless and I didn’t see the dog when it ran out in front of me. Okay? It’s my fault she died and it’s my fault Dad can’t even stand to look at me now!” Tears soaked Lacey’s cheeks. Her face stung with the intensity of them.
Cam pulled her into his arms, allowing her head to find shelter against his chest. Lacey felt a rush of breeze as his wings unfurled, wrapping her tight, cocooning her in a place of peace. His body was all encompassing. “I know it probably feels like that but it was an accident. You didn’t ask the dog to run out on the road.”
Lacey sobbed harder. “But I wasn’t paying attention. If I’d been watching the road, instead of behaving like an infant, I would have seen it.”
“Then why didn’t they put you in jail? Isn’t that what they do to murderers?”
“The Coroner said it was an accident…..”
“See?” he whispered, stroking her hair. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Lacey felt the sobs begin to subside as Cam’s strong arms wound tighter around her and his body shifted. She leant into his strength. “But…”
“No buts,” he said. “It wasn’t your fault. All you need to do is realise it.”
Tentative, he pressed his lips to each of her eyelids in turn. His fingers brushed each cheek removing her tears, easing the pain she had felt for so long. Lacey quivered under their touch.
“Oh Cam,” she said. “I know it’s your job to make me feel good. But nothing can change what happened.”
“You’re right, of course. But we can change how you feel about it.”
Chapter Sixteen
Zac was sitting in his usual spot in English when Lacey ran in and, with a quick nod, dumped her books and sat beside him. The weekend had been so full on, so many revelations; it was comforting to see a normal familiar face. Especially one that wasn’t an ethereal being. As she opened her text to the necessary page and prepared her notebook for writing, Lacey wondered what Zac made of the events of the previous Friday night. If it hadn’t been for Cam’s interference, they would definitely have kissed. Lacey twiddled her thumbs, waiting for the class to start. She wasn’t going to be the one to mention it first.
“So, where’d you get to on Friday night?” Zac had turned and was addressing her straight on. He seemed a bit peeved. Which was totally understandable.
“What do you mean?”
“You disappeared into the woodwork without so much as a goodbye. We had to pack all the picnic stuff away without you.”
Lacey stared at him. Was he on drugs? A freaking enormous angel had swooped down on them. He’d attempted to fight it off. There had to be physical signs of the altercation. He must have had some bruising from the way Cam tossed him. “I…. uh…I… Zac, don’t you remember what happened?”
“Yeah. I was about to kiss you and I rolled over for a sec to put my beer down and you ran off. Listen, Lacey, I know you’ve had a rough time and I’m trying to take it slow and all but seriously, that was a bit much. You’re not twelve.”
“I didn’t run off.”
“Yeah, you did. Off into the dark like I had an STD or something. Which I don’t, by the way.”
Okay, this was crazy. The only thing that Lacey could come up with was that Cam had done something to Zac’s memory because Zac had no idea what had happened on Friday night. It was if Cam had never flown down on them, wings spread to lift him in the air. Either that or Zac was a really good actor.
Lacey squinted at him, trying to decide which. If it were the latter, she could play along. If it were the first, she had no intention of letting him in on the secret. Let him think what he liked. It certainly made things easier.
“Yeah, look, I’m sorry about that. You freaked me out a bit, that’s all. I haven’t been that close to a boy in a while.”
“You’re not going to run away next time I try to kiss you, are you?”
Lacey gave a coy smile. “Don’t think so.”
“And you don’t hate me?”
“No. If anything, you should be down on me for dumping you like that.” It was true. Zac had done nothing too bad. All he’d wanted was a kiss. Funny, how Cam had felt the need to protect her from that when he was meant to be staying in the background of her life. She’d have to ask him why.
“So, do you want me to walk you home after school? I don’t mind waiting.”
Lacey nodded. There was no denying she liked Zac, despite her growing feelings for Cam and it wasn’t as if either one of them had a monopoly on her. She could be friends with them both.
“That’d be cool.”
*****
She’d called it a day. Everything was coming along for her exhibition. With the help of Mrs Perkins, she’d chosen the final pieces to be displayed and made notes on how she could improve them, things to be added or deleted. For the first time in a while, Lacey felt satisfied enough to quit early. Take a breather.
“Ready?” Zac was leaning against the door of the locker room, where Lacey had been packing away. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his school pants, his black bag slung over his shoulder.
“Yep. Just getting my stuff.” Pulling her bag from her locker, she threw her homework in and slammed the door shut. “Ready.”
“Shall we do the Willow Walk?”
Lacey nodded. Clearly, Zac had no memory of the last time they’d been there together, either. The fact that Cam liked to ‘run’ through the Walk in the late afternoon had slipped his mind or he’d chosen to forget it. Oh well, it was early yet. Maybe Cam wouldn’t be there this time.
They set off down the corridor and along towards the front door. From somewhere deep in the bones of the school, Lacey could hear music, like a fanfare of trumpets. A shiver ran down her spine. The fine hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.
“Can you hear that?”
Zac paused, cocking his ear in the direction she had been looking. “What?”
“The music. It’s like trumpets or horns or something.”
Zac strained. “It’s probably the Jazz ensemble. They rehearse on Thursdays I think.”
“Can't you hear it?”
“Nup.”
“It sounds awful.”
Zac grinned. “Yeah, they could do with a bit more practice, I reckon.”
Lacey stopped to open the glass doors. “You really can’t hear that?” she asked again.
Zac shrugged.
Lacey followed Zac out the school gates and down the road towards the path along Seraphim River. Their shoulders were close but not as close as Lacey would have expected given Zac had tried to kiss her the other night. She hoped he wasn’t still annoyed at her ‘running away.’ He’d denied it but you never knew.
As they reached the corner near the Devil’s Lair Inn, Zac paused and took Lacey’s hand in his. His fingers twined through hers, warming her hand against the cold of the autumn breeze.
“You don’t mind, do you?” he asked as they strolled along.
“Not at all. In fact, I was sort of thinking how nice it was.”
Zac looked at her. His eyes were happy. “Yeah. Me too.”
They rounded the corner to Lacey’s street and began the short climb to her house. So far the walk had been uneventful. Peaceful even. Then, reaching her gate, Lacey let go of Zac’s hand and turned to face him. “Well, this is me. So, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Zac moved towards her. Though his bag still swung from his shoulder, he slid a free hand to her waist and pulled her a little closer. “Yeah. S’pose so.”
His lips were near. The school bag slipped to the dirt. All she had to do was pucker. Heart pounding, a shiver of expectation ran down her spine and she leant into his chest, breathing in that intoxicating cinnamon smell of his.
“Bye, then,” she whispered.
“Yeah. Bye.”
His face was almost touching hers. His lips, ripe and lusty, moistened for the kiss.
“Hey, Lacey.”
“Fucking hell.” Zac jumped away.
Cam was sitting on the porch swing, sharing a cool drink with Aunt Beth. He lifted up his glass to greet them. Trust him. Trust her.
“What is with that dude?” Zac muttered. “Every-fucking-where I go, he turns up.”
“Do you guys want a cold drink?” Cam called. “Aunt Beth has Sprite.”
Lacey stifled a giggle at the look of utter disgust on Zac’s face.
“Coming….” she answered. “Bye, Zac.”
“Yeah. Whatever,” he muttered, taking up his bag and storming off down the path. “Freaking loser.”
*****
“Why are you here?” Lacey hissed, after Aunt Beth had gone into the house to fetch her a drink.
“Beth invited me for dinner.”
Lacey glared at him. As if. And since when had he and Aunt Beth been on first name terms?
“She did. I was in the shop this afternoon, looking for that book about statues you recommended and she came up to me and said - and I quote - ‘I guess if my niece has some sort of guardian angel, I’d better get to know him a bit better.’ Then she asked me to come for dinner. Like I was your boyfriend or something, not your protector.”
He had to be making this up. “You put a spell on her, didn’t you?”
“I’m an angel, not a wizard. I can’t do magic. I can only protect you from harm.”
“Well, alright. But do you have to go around teasing Zac like that? You didn’t have to call out. You did it on purpose.”
“Yes. I did.”
“Why?”
“Because he annoys me. He was going to kiss you and … I didn’t like it.”
“Are you jealous of him? You keep getting between us.”
“Of course not. There’s just something about the way he looks at you that makes my feathers ruffle. I can’t put a finger on it.”
Oh for Pete’s sake. Now he was imagining things.
Standing up, Lacey took Cam’s hand. She wasn’t going to get any sense out of him that was for sure. “Come on, let’s go wash our hands for dinner. You do eat? Right?”