by Fiona Keane
Lizzie’s fingertips pressed into my skin as they scoured my scalp, kneading the muscles along my neck while she pulled me closer to her. She was beneath me, kissing my throat and destroying the weakness I held on my sleeve, owning my heart. I could have died above her, in her hands, melting with her touch alone.
I felt her heart against mine as our chests met, our ribcages battling to contain the demand for each other. It was futile, and I knew it when her hips lifted against mine, and Lizzie moaned my name into my mouth while kissing me. I needed her. I needed Lizzie to fix my torn heart, to cure the past, to hold a promise for the future, and to be mine. I wanted her for the same reasons, and I couldn’t wait another minute to have her. Boyfriend or not, I had a soul, I had morals…
“Lizzie,” I whispered against her throat, panting between gasps for air and kisses, “I want this, I want you so bad—”
“Me too, mermaid,” she moaned, interrupting me. Her nickname for me was an endearment that, as a word in isolation, failed to resemble anything near the erotic suggestion currently purring from Lizzie’s mouth. With her permission, the trembling in my fingers subsided, and I frantically lifted the shirt of mine she wore from her body, her skin melting mine as my knuckles grazed her ribs.
I pressed my knees into the mattress, anchoring Lizzie’s hips as I lowered my elbows at her shoulders, holding our faces inches apart. Her mascara clung to the soft skin around her eyes, smeared from sleep and tears cried from laughter, yet they radiated against mine, and I fell apart again. I was unable to resist her, trying to hold each cell, every inch I could consume, in my memory. Her fingernails clawed up my bare back, drawing patterns while our tongues rivaled the other’s. Lizzie’s palms were warm and soft, caressing my biceps, rolling over my chest to pause at my abs.
I watched silently, trying to catch my breath while she studied me. She blinked, clearing the blur of sleep, and traced the three roses on my stomach, the calla lily near my waistband, all sending a shiver throughout my body. Her fingernails took with them my resolve as she scoured my skin before piercing into my scalp and anchoring our mouths together. Lizzie’s hands were back, pushing me off and onto the mattress as she moved to straddle me.
“Finish your thought,” she demanded, grinning at me. I pressed my fingertips into her hips, holding her against me.
“I’m in love with you.”
Lizzie’s head fell back, each rumble of her intoxicating laughter humming through her in a way that hypnotized me. She was so fucking gorgeous, I swear I died right there beneath her…especially the second she slid herself on top of me, grinding herself against me while her soft breasts pressed into my chest. Then, I knew, I died.
***
I spent the next night with Silas, a long overdue reunion with a neglected friendship. I felt guilty as sin, but the time Lizzie consumed in my life was worth everything. Silas would understand; he was a big-ass softie. Hanging out with my friends, pre-Lizzie, left me craving her bed more than I’d planned.
I took another swig of beer and waited for Ben to stop flirting with Nadia. She wasn’t going to give him what he wanted, the poor bastard.
“You smell like a damn incense stick,” Silas snickered, nudging me in the chest. “Man, you’re whipped as hell.”
“Whipped,” Ben chuckled, beer spraying from his nose. “I bet she’s a freak. She has to be to stay with you. Probably has you licking whipped cream and chocolate off her every night.”
“It’s caramel, actually,” I remarked, impassively watching them while I sipped my beer, “and it’s every morning and night.” Their eyes widened, mouths gaping, and I could only laugh at them.
“You’re a pair of idiots,” I taunted, flicking Ben’s forehead. “You think I’d tell you anything about our love life?”
“L—love life?” Silas grinned. We’d been at the bar for two hours already. Two hours of me dodging their questions about Lizzie and me, two hours of me smacking them for acting like fools.
“Well, Christ, Rossi,” Ben snapped. “When the hell were you going to tell us?”
“Explains why we haven’t met her yet,” Silas added. “If she’s real.”
“Oh,” I beamed, thinking of this morning in bed with Lizzie, “she’s real. That’s all you need to know. I don’t want her to meet you assholes. You’ll scare her off.”
“And right into my arms.” Ben smirked. “Let’s meet her!”
I glared at him while Silas burst into laughter behind me. “Don’t you have an ambulance to drive right now, Ben?”
“No,” we followed his eyes to Nadia, “not tonight. I’ll be right back.” He slid from his barstool, shouting something to Nadia before walking toward the bathroom.
I felt my phone buzz and took it from my pocket to see a random text from my mom. She wanted to know my plans for the weekend because her fourth husband was going to be near Chicago for work and she planned to tag along. I wasn’t interested in seeing him, but I felt guilty about not talking to my mom in so long. I wanted to tell her about Lizzie, but I knew her impulsive response. She’d done it four times now. I placed my phone on the bar as Silas slid his empty bottle along the wood.
“So this is legit,” Silas considered. “I haven’t heard you talk about a girl like this since Jade.”
“You know I loved Jade.” I watched Silas nod at me, his expression softening. “And even as much of my heart as she had, Lizzie owns more of it. Silas, she’s got pieces of it I didn’t even know were floating around in there.”
“Wow. Sounds fluffy,” he laughed, placing a hand on my shoulder, “and deserved.”
“Thanks, man.” I rolled my eyes, but Silas cleared his throat and caught my attention. I noticed Ben head immediately to the bar after leaving the bathroom, giving Silas and me a few minutes before the conversation would switch to Ben’s obsession with Nadia.
“So what else is going on? You’ve peeled the labels from four bottles, one of which was mine. Tell me, Noah.”
My phone lit up with a text message from Lizzie, both of our eyes flicking to it as my heart sank. “I got called up yesterday. She doesn’t know yet.”
“Fu—” Silas stopped himself, shaking his head as his tattooed fingers rubbed along his face. “Why didn’t you tell her?”
“We slept together,” I scoffed at myself, pissed for being a coward, “and I didn’t want to ruin it for her.” Silas latched his palm around my shoulder, and I stared at him, waiting for his judgment.
“You’re a piece of shit, Noah. If it’s two days or two years, you’re a deadbeat for keeping this from her.” He punched my shoulder with his free hand, lifting a finger in the air to silence my attempted rebuttal. “If she doesn’t dump your sorry ass, you know I’ll take Muffin, but don’t you dare try to use him and guilt me into supporting you. I’m team Lizzie here.”
“There aren’t teams, Silas.”
He scoffed, taking his hands off me and reaching for another beer Nadia started to hand him. “There are always teams in relationships, Noah. They’re just always hers.”
“Can you two do me a favor and please tell Ben I’m not into him?” Nadia grimaced, leaning over the bar to Silas and me. “I would do anything.”
Silas raised an eyebrow, resting his weight on his elbow as he leaned toward Nadia. “Oh?”
“For fuck’s sake,” I groaned, rolling my eyes and sliding off my stool. “I’m out of here.”
Silas grabbed my bicep, spinning me back to him with a scowl of warning spread along his expression. “Noah, I’ve known you through some serious shit. You let me paint a damn biography on your skin. You’re one troubled kid, but don’t think for a second you can bring casualties into the next life and pretend it doesn’t hurt.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I tugged my arm back, glaring at Silas like he’d just shanked me.
“Silas!” Nadia called from the bar. He glanced back once before holding up his index finger to her and stepping closer to me.
“Come on,�
� he urged, wrapping his massive arm around my shoulders and guiding us out of the bar.
State Street was swelling with people, buzzing to life as the rest of Madison slept. We stepped over piles of vomit and wove through mobs of college kids who I was thankful I didn’t have to babysit for a few more nights.
“I’ve never met her,” Silas finally said as we waited for a traffic light to change in our favor.
“You might have,” I grunted. “She’s been in for ink.”
He smacked my chest, cackling boisterously. “No shit. You found yourself a canvas. I like it. Now, tell me which one she is.”
“Silas.”
“Noah,” he mocked, singing my name with an annoying melody. “I need to meet her. I need to know who I’ll have to console when you’re abroad. That is, if she’s still interested in you when you finally tell her. Shit, man, what’s wrong with you?”
Things were right, so very damn right. I looked over at Silas, noticing his brown eyes softened beneath his furrowed brows. “Love, Silas. That’s what’s wrong with me. You think this is easy? You think I want to ruin someone’s life? She’s taken my entire heart in a matter of months and now…”
His palm squeezed my shoulder, the weight of his hand distracting me. “You need to go home, make love to your gorgeous girlfriend, tell her you’re shipping out, then have makeup sex, and give her something to remember about you.”
“You’re such a romantic,” I snarled, crossing my arms. “Keep talking like a charmer and I’ll kick your ass, Silas.”
“I love you.” He slapped my back. “We’ve been through hell together. I know when you’re distracted and when you’ve got something worth fighting for.”
Silas and I crossed the street, and I was happy to give him the silent treatment while I let my shit simmer. I didn’t say anything until we reached the Capitol steps, the same steps on which I learned Lizzie’s full name, told her about Callie cheating on me, and she told me about her tattoos. It seemed a lifetime ago but was just months.
“What’s the smile?” Silas probed, leaning against the railing next to me.
“It’s fast,” I nodded to myself, staring at the ground, “but life’s too damn short.”
“Sure as hell is,” Silas agreed, chuckling with his arms crossed. The designs etched into his biceps moved as his muscles clenched, almost tearing through his t-shirt. He was built for combat. I wasn’t, but keeping Lizzie and me together was a battle I was ready for.
My cheeks burned from smiling, my mood shifting slightly when I thought of Lizzie. I was excited, a damn bounce in my step and pulse in my body because of her, us.
“You have to trust the timing,” I told myself and Silas. “Can you meet her this weekend?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” He grinned, throwing his arms around me in a brotherly hug that took my soul back down a notch. Now, I just needed to go home and tell Lizzie…and hope she would still want me.
Chapter Twelve
I quietly kicked off my shoes and closed the kitchen door behind me. Muffin scampered across the floor, falling on his ass twice as his hips wavered. I scooped him up, scratching my fingers beneath the shimmering collar Lizzie gave him. This one was new, and silver. Muffster hated it, and I didn’t tell Lizzie I agreed with him.
We walked through the house, the floors creaking their echo into the quiet rooms, bound for my bedroom as the front doorknob rattled. I turned from the bottom step and watched the knob bounce up and down with the blurred silhouette of Lizzie’s blonde hair moving on the porch. Her whispered profanities were muffled by the door, but I heard them and buried my face in Muffin’s fur to prevent myself from laughing too hard.
“Stupid…ass…door…it’s a good…thing…I like sleeping…with him…and…crap,” she huffed, and I suffocated on my attempt to restrain laughter.
Her key finally released the latch, and Lizzie tiptoed inside. I guess she was trying to tiptoe, but she looked more like a wobbly ballerina. “Honey,” she called while dropping her keys and purse before slamming the door shut, “I’m home!”
“We’re he—”
“Oh my god!” she screamed, clutching her chest when she noticed Muffin and me standing at the bottom of the stairs, grinning at her. Muffin grunted and wiggled out of my hold, landing on the stairs while Lizzie tried to breathe. I crept toward her, placing my hands on her shoulders and rubbing up and down along her arms.
“You were saying?” I pestered, biting my bottom lip. “You like sleeping with him and…”
“I love you,” she cooed, leaning into my chest where she nuzzled against me. Her thin arms tightened around my waist, her limp weight turning heavy as she pressed.
“Lizzie,” I muttered to no reply. “Babe. Wake up.” She whimpered and moved just enough to press further into me, so I scooped her up, holding her bent knees over one arm while the other balanced her shoulders.
“Did you clean out a winery?” I quietly taunted, kissing her forehead. “Ella is trouble. I need to talk to Jesse if you’re going to come home like this.”
“It wasn’t just Ella. It was Declan too, and I had to have so much wine because it was a work event,” she grumbled, knotting her hands around my neck. Her fingertips pressed into my sore muscles while she spoke, and it felt so damn wonderful.
I carried Lizzie up the stairs like the queen she was, stopping in the doorway of my bedroom. “Do you want to jump on the bed, Elizabeth?” I whispered above her ear, her head still pressed against my chest. “Or should I tuck you in?”
She peered at me through wild curls, a sparkle in her blue eyes. “Jump.”
I gladly tossed Lizzie onto the mattress while she erupted in laughter, and we frantically tore off each other’s clothes. Her hands were in my hair, pulling my mouth to hers so she could bite my bottom lip. Her teeth pierced my skin, but I couldn’t pull away. Lizzie’s body was boiling beneath mine, demanding from me with every gasp and buck of her hips. It lasted two hours, and I was drained in the best way imaginable.
I woke to Lizzie’s fingernails mindlessly trailing along my mermaid, tracing every scale and curve of my other beauty. I wasn’t sure if she was awake, and I didn’t want to do anything to move her warm naked body from mine because it felt so damn good.
“Noah,” she breathed against my abs, her warm breath tickling the black roses tattooed against my skin, “I think we need to talk.”
“We do,” I replied quietly, caressing her bare back. My touch was rewarded with a blissful sigh escaping Lizzie’s lips. She rolled onto her back, the sheets twisted around her legs, her naked breasts and stomach taunting me as she settled at my right side. I leaned my weight onto my elbow, gazing down at her.
I tugged on a curl with my left hand, twisting it around my index finger as I studied her face. Her mascara was smudged, her cheeks flushed, and her lips swollen. She was breathtaking. “I have to tell you something,” I began, licking my lips to buy time. “I have to go away for a while.”
“When?” Her cheeks drained of the soft, dewy pink from moments before.
“Two weeks.” Dammit. If looks could kill, my reflection in her teary eyes would have ended us both. Lizzie’s fingers tightened around my forearm, her nails piercing the mermaid’s tail.
“For how long, Noah?” I could hear unease in her voice, but she was also…with me. She was listening, talking to me, holding me.
“A month.”
“Who will watch Muffin?”
“Silas.” I twisted her curl again, rubbing my thumb over the strands stretched over my knuckle.
“No,” she objected. “I will. Who will take care of your house?”
“Landlord.”
“No,” she repeated. “You’ll just move in with me. Let’s pack this place up right now.” She moved from my side, sitting up to face me. “Come on, mermaid. We don’t have much time.”
“You work in a few hours, babe. I’m not packing right now.” I can’t even think of what you just suggested I do. Balls,
heart, are you with me here?
“Then I can think of only one way to pass the time, and I sure as hell won’t miss out on a second of you by sleeping,” she huffed, scooting back down onto the mattress, this time pressing her body over my abs. She tickled the calla lily tattoo near my hip beneath our twisted sheets as she kissed my stomach.
“I thought you’d be terrified, pissed as hell, and ready to kill me,” I muttered, squeezing her bare shoulders. “I still feel sick worrying about telling you.”
“I am pissed, but you’re too good in bed for me to kill you,” Lizzie pressed her lips against my sternum, “and I love you. Too much, I think.”
“Nah,” I grabbed her shoulders, guiding her body along my chest as she lowered her lips to my neck, nibbling my earlobe. “We’re perfect.”
Lizzie’s right leg stretched over my body before she straddled my waist, her lips spreading into a smile as one lonely tear fell over her cheek. I reached for it, wiping it with the pad of my thumb as I gazed into her eyes.
“Who’ll wait for me?” I questioned, tugging on her bottom lip with my thumb as it trailed the fallen tear.
Lizzie’s warm palms cupped my jaw, her thumbs rubbing circles around my cheeks. “I will.”
“Before,” I pressed, “you said we needed to talk. What did you want to talk about?”
“I…I don’t remember.” She blushed. “Mermaid?” Wrapping my arms around her back, pulling our warm bodies together, I sat with Lizzie in my lap. Her legs tightened around me, her hands knotted in my hair, and her lips pressed desperately against mine.
“Yes, beautiful?” Our foreheads met, and I could feel the quiver of nerves in Lizzie’s skin.
“Do you want to take a walk?”
I kissed her, this time never wanting to let go. “Depends on how far you’ll take me,” I muttered against her mouth, invigorated with our nostalgia.
***
Circles under my eyes and sore muscles wouldn’t stop me from crawling out of bed, late for brunch with Sean and Jesse. Lizzie and I didn’t sleep until the sun woke, and that was just hours before she had to go to work and prepare something for a zoo benefit, and I needed to meet Sean and Jesse downtown. I wasn’t even sure if my shirt was inside out or if Muffin ate cat food, that’s how tired I was.