by Fiona Keane
“Stop,” I warned, trying not to laugh.
“I’m not doing anything.” I kept packing, but Lizzie was something else. She sipped from her wine glass, complaining of how hot she felt while pulling her hair on the top of her head.
“I know what you’re doing, Lizzie.”
“I’m not doing anything,” she mocked, pulling her shirt off and tossing it onto the floor. I kept my eyes on my task, grinding my teeth to not let her see how effective she was at distracting me and weakening my resolve. She leaned against the bookcase, nearly at my side while she traced my mermaid tattoo.
I still didn’t respond to her, pissing her off in a huff when I turned away to get packing tape. I struggled to cut it over the serrated edge, frustrated and distracted by Lizzie. She followed me, wrapping her arms around my waist before lifting her hands beneath my shirt. Her small fingers danced over each muscle, climbing to my throat.
“I love you, Noah,” she breathed, stepping on her tiptoes to kiss my throat. She slid her tongue along my clavicle, and I was done.
“You’re terrible,” I groaned. Lizzie’s smile widened, and I knew I’d lost. “Sean’s trying to surprise Avery with a wedding, and somehow Jesse and I are caught in the middle of it. There! Happy?”
She continued tugging on the hem of my shirt, her fingers twirling around the fabric. “Yep. Now, tell me everything you know, and then we can make out.”
Chapter Sixteen
AUTUMN
Boxes were stacked meticulously in Lizzie’s closets, and we’d managed to create a path between boxes and piles winding through the condo. She pretended not to mind, saying it was like a fort and the cats would love to climb on it all.
Moving in with the woman I love, coming home to our bed after work…it was all I wanted, all that kept me together through long, grueling days. It had been two months, neither of us in any hurry to unpack. Muffin was fine, the cats were okay. Things were great. Our eyes and hearts were focused on the future, even if it brought bumps and deployments. We were promised to each other, and that meant everything.
“Should we get a bigger house?” she asked me one Thursday morning over coffee. We had the morning together before I’d be at the fire station until the Saturday morning of Sean and Avery’s surprise wedding. Everyone’s lives were changing, even ours, and we reveled in moments together.
“It’s just us.” I smiled at her, squeezing her hands. “We don’t need space.” I didn’t want her to think more about having kids. We’d seen Callie once since the paternity scare and, even though we knew it wasn’t mine, the issue seemed even ickier since then.
“But what if you want more dogs? Like a lab or shepherd or something that needs room to run?”
“I run. I’d take them with me and, please, don’t talk about another dog.” I chewed my bottom lip. “Muffin’s irreplaceable.”
“Well,” she picked at her croissant, “do you ever think about leaving Wisconsin?”
I glanced around the back room at the Coffee Trader, checking out the students studying, the professionals and families chatting over a cup and treat. “This is home,” I shrugged, “but anywhere with you is home, Lizzie. Do you want to leave?”
“Calm your buns, mermaid.” She winked at me over the rim of her coffee mug. “I just like to know the future is open for us.” I pushed the sleeves of my shirt back, watching my ink dance around my skin and thinking more about the concept of a future.
“Want to come with me to see Silas today?”
Her eyes brightened, lips stained with foam. “You, shirtless, getting a tattoo?”
“Yeah.” I chuckled, licking my lips while she blushed. I leaned back in my seat, watching Lizzie melt across from me.
“I’ll get one too,” she squealed. Lizzie leaned forward, and I knew what she was trying to do with the edge of our table and the neckline of her dress. She knew I knew, and that’s why we were out of there and on our way home before going to Silas’s parlor within five minutes.
***
We were late, and I felt horrible, but I knew Lizzie’s friends would understand. She pulled me with ferocious strength onto the rooftop of Retrovaille, blabbering on in the cute way she did about how excited she was, how hot she thought Sean would look, and how happy she was for Avery. I loved surprises, but keeping this one from Avery was difficult.
She and Sean were sitting with Jesse and Ella at a long table near the point that overlooked downtown and the Capitol. Sean was right; it was perfect.
“Hi, everyone,” Lizzie called as we approached the table. “Sorry we’re late. This one was busy saving lives already this morning.” She rested her hand on my chest, patting her palm a few times.
“That’s not fair. I only got one coat of polish on my toes before I had to leave,” Ella teased. “Hi, you two.” I waved at the table, taking in the group I’d met under horrific circumstances in a past life. So much changed; anything before that moment, before Sean winked at me in greeting across the table on the rooftop, anything before Lizzie squeezed my hand, it all seemed like a dream. A nightmare, but one we’d come through as a family.
“I ordered a mimosa and bloody Mary for you two,” Jesse informed us. Lizzie reached for her mimosa, greedily taking a sip while I glanced at Sean. His eyes were elsewhere, behind us at the entrance. I tugged on Lizzie’s elbow when I noticed Sean stand, his fingers intertwined with Avery’s.
“What? Are you okay?” Avery stammered. Sean stroked his fingers along her blushing cheek and nodded to the doorway where, upon her confused gaze, Avery gasped.
“What’s going on?” she demanded, her tone light and humorously confused. I recognized Avery’s mom and sister in the doorway, tears already streaming down their faces, standing next to Sean’s parents. All the emotions swirling around us and I couldn’t yet reach for the bloody Mary Jesse ordered me. I wanted to hide behind the glass for a minute. Weddings were never easy for me. I was supposed to have one, in another life.
“Noah,” I heard Lizzie whisper while my eyes glazed over, “what’s wrong?” I shook my head, smiling down at my girlfriend…thinking about weddings, captivated by her.
Sean guided Avery away from the table where we all stood, pausing with his hands around hers under a pergola dripping with flowers that looked to the east of State Street.
“Avery…” He took her chin between his thumb and finger, holding her other hand against his chest. “You don’t want a big wedding. It took you months to accept my proposal. You’re four months pregnant. Let’s just do it. Right here, right now, with the people we love.”
“Here?” Her gaping mouth was priceless. “But I’m not wearing a white dress.” Sean placed his hands on her stomach while laughing and kissing her forehead.
“The jig is up on that one, my love,” he teased. Lizzie started cooing and jumping at my side, pulling me with her each time her feet slammed back to the ground.
“What do you say?” Lizzie squealed. “Can we do it? Right now?”
Ella joined in the jumping, the two of them looking like prairie dogs while yanking Jesse and me with their bouncing. Like them, but still, Avery was all over the place. Her eyes were on Sean. They flashed to me, and I could only offer a smile; they were on the bouncing broads and Jesse, and then her mom, all before she grinned at Sean. Avery was beautiful, and her smile could seriously do damage, but it was Elizabeth Jacqueline Lewis who stole the show for me every single time.
She wrapped her arms around my waist, holding herself against me, and I felt every line of ink beat for her with the pulse she drove wild. She and Ella matched, in their own way, both wearing shades of dark blue. Ella was more conservative than my Lizzie, who gave me a glimpse or two of the lace underneath her dress as she squeezed herself around me, with a neckline that didn’t dare as much as my girl’s. Listen to me. My girl. Holy hell.
I lost track of what was happening, my thoughts on Lizzie and her underwear. When I came to, because Lizzie let go of me, I saw Jesse standing betwee
n Avery and Sean with the girls next to Avery. Jesse waved at everyone to approach, and I slipped into the spot right behind Sean. When he first asked me to stand behind him, I didn’t know what to say or how to even react. He told me I saved him, I saved Avery, and to him that was life; I was family…I was his brother. It felt increasingly right, like that was my place, and the longer I stared at Lizzie, the more I knew it was true.
I was biting my lips, clenching my jaw with each mindless movement she made. From wiping stray hair from her eyes to squeezing Ella’s shoulder, that woman was my world. Lizzie’s eyes met mine four times, each followed with a smile she either tried to blush away or playfully glare back at me. I wasn’t letting her win. I stared right back at her, not hearing anything Sean and Avery said until the small group erupted into cheers once Avery was locked in Sean’s arms with their mouths entangled with the other’s.
I stood back, watching everyone and feeling overwhelmed with how it all came full circle. I reflected on how I met them, thinking about protecting Avery that day months ago when Sean almost died, the same day I met Lizzie and my life changed forever. Ella tugged on my arm, distracting me.
“Want to take a walk?” Her gentle voice hummed below my shoulder. I glanced down and nodded, letting Ella take my arm and guide us away from the celebration. We slowly wandered to the other end of the rooftop, the one with a view partially blocked by condos but with enough view of Lake Monona.
“How’s living with Lizzie?”
“Amazing,” I replied. It was the truth. I felt myself mindlessly begin twisting my left index finger and thumb over the E tattooed on my right ring finger. Elizabeth. My Elizabeth.
Ella leaned over the railing, staring at the glistening lake. “I noticed your new tattoo.”
“You like it?”
“I do,” she beamed, “but I have to ask…how long are you planning on being in Lizzie’s life, because if—”
“Forever, Ella,” I interrupted, lifting her chin to meet my glance. I recognized the sparkle in her blue eyes because I’d stared at it so often in Lizzie’s; it was excitement, worry, and hope all swirled into one unique and beautiful blend of blue. I winked at her, peering once over her head to see everyone else still together near our table.
“…if it isn’t forever, I’ll kick your tattooed ass halfway across the country,” she continued her adorable threat. I lowered my knuckles back to the railing, shaking my head with a laugh at Ella’s attempt to protect Lizzie after all we’d been through, and stared at the skyline.
“Can I tell you a secret, Ella?”
She was at my side instantly, our arms squished together. “I love secrets.” She rested her head against my bicep, her brown waves tickling my arm in the breeze, and linked her arms around mine.
I gently kissed her hair and leaned my cheek against her head. “I’m going to marry Lizzie.”
“Good,” Ella replied. “Make it soon.” She squeezed my arm once more, letting out a sigh that could fill the lakes surrounding our little isthmus.
“Soon because we love each other?” I probed in a whisper. “Or soon because of something else?”
Ella let go of me, turning her back on the railing to watch everyone. I followed her gaze without turning around, catching her eyes fix on Jesse and Avery. “Because something else,” Ella whispered as she watched Jesse’s palm spread against Avery’s stomach, “but also because you love each other. It’s your story, not mine. Just be the man she thinks you are.”
“I promise you that, Ella,” I narrowed my eyes on her, curious as to why the bubbliest of the three became the intimidator.
***
Lizzie heard from Avery almost every day while she and Sean were on their babymoon, honeymoon, whatever it was called. They spent three weeks on holiday, cooped up in some Atlantic Coast cabin in Maine. At first, I thought it was a terrible idea. I wanted to be on the beach with Lizzie, drinking margaritas without a care in the world, in our swimsuits…but we weren’t about to pop with twins. Lizzie asked them about it once, and they told us the beach wasn’t their thing anymore. I didn’t ask questions; I just swallowed my coffee and smiled. I need to plan a trip to a warm beach with Lizzie soon.
While they were away, we had dinner and coffee with Ella and Jesse, Lizzie got two new tattoos from Silas, and I tried to unpack. I purged so much once officially in her condo, realizing I wasn’t using half of what we brought over. The weekend before Sean and Avery planned on coming home, I was building the new bookcase Lizzie got me and drinking beer while doing it because I’d screwed and unscrewed the same frustrating screw four times.
“Your phone’s been ringing for twenty minutes,” Lizzie hollered from the bathroom. I heard Muffin’s claws scramble against the hardwood floor as he followed Lizzie’s footsteps. I grimaced at the bookcase, only half finished and three hours into it, when Lizzie stood in the doorway.
“Noah?” She was wrapped in a towel, holding my phone.
“Put it down. Let’s go fool around.” I raised my eyebrows at Lizzie and stood up, walking toward her and wrapping my arms around her waist. Lizzie hummed with laughter as I grazed her neck with my teeth, licked the length of her throat, and whispered sweet nothings into her ear. Okay, they were sweet and also totally inappropriate.
“Obviously,” she snickered, placing a hand to my chest, “but someone really needs to talk to you and I’m dripping wet. Also, Muffin had an accident in the bathroom that I need to clean.” I hung my head, defeated by my girlfriend, my geriatric dog, and the bookcase.
“Fine.” I took the phone from her hands. “I’ll clean the mess. You stay just like you are and meet me in the bedroom in five minutes.”
I watched Lizzie walk away, hardening with each sashay of her body barely covered in a towel. My libido slammed into the floor when I recognized the number flashing on my phone. I carried it out to the patio, where I anxiously rested on the edge of one of our chairs. Glancing at my bare feet, I thought of painting the patio with Lizzie a few weeks ago and how she purposely dropped paint on me so we’d have to shower…together. Life with her was perfect.
When it buzzed on my leg, I answered the phone and leaned back in my chair while listening to the officer tell me I’d been officially called. This time, there won’t be a rescheduled duty. It was imperative that I report. Blah, blah, Lizzie is waiting for me in the bedroom, this call is not going to fracture us, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie. I really did try to listen, but it was with a different frequency this time around. I wasn’t afraid. While he explained the timeline, the duration, and all details I normally wrote down and tattooed into my memory, I drifted off and thought about Lizzie. It hadn’t been a year, but it sure as hell had been a lifetime that I’d fallen in love with. Even Callie threatening our future, deployment, and the initial rush and worry it’d been too fast…none of that mattered one damn bit. Lizzie and I were in love. Now, what in the hell force was stronger than that?
“Mermaid?” Lizzie softly ran her fingers through my hair, sending a wave of oxytocin through my blood. “You’ve been out here for an hour already. We’re going to be late for dinner.”
“Sorry.” I rubbed my eyes from the stupor, and Lizzie’s touch stilled.
“What’s going on?” she probed, moving to kneel before me. As soon as my eyes met her gaze, I softened again and patted my thigh, helping her up to sit on my lap.
“It’s happening this time,” I admitted softly, twisting my arms around her waist until she was pressed against me. “I deploy in March for two months.”
“We have some time then,” Lizzie muttered before kissing my forehead. “Do you think I should wear my black dress or the blue one?”
I leaned back, gaping at her. “How are you being so calm about this?”
Her sparkly red fingernails scratched the stubble on my jaw while Lizzie grinned at me. “I love you, Noah.”
I took my right hand from her thigh and held it around the back of her neck, pulling her face to mine while kissing her. Lizz
ie’s lips were warm, soft from the shower, and perfectly parted for my mouth and tongue to pour every emotion I felt into her delicate skin. I could’ve stayed there forever, but we were going to celebrate Lizzie’s promotion, and I wouldn’t have missed honoring her for a second.
“Blue dress,” I answered her earlier question with a grin.
Fortunately, it was only the pre-dinner cocktail hour that we stumbled into half an hour late. I swore I tried getting us out of our bedroom on time, but Lizzie was persistent and impossible to refuse in that blue dress. I was still humming from the high of her body as she greeted coworkers and board members, smiling and laughing while intertwining our fingers. I felt strangled in the suit and tie, but Lizzie kept telling me she liked the way my butt looked, so it must’ve been doing something for me.
“Do you want something to drink?” I whispered into her ear once she finished talking to an old guy I didn’t recognize.
“Yes, please,” she grumbled. “Oh! You remember Declan?”
I followed Lizzie’s gaze to her boss, watching him approach us with a grin plastered on his face. Lizzie pulled away from me to throw her arms around him, but she hadn’t completely unlatched our fingers, and I ended up being part of their hug.
“Hey, Noah.” Declan laughed politely. “Good to see you again.”
“Dec,” Lizzie interrupted, “you look super hot! Just for me?”
“You’re one lucky lady,” I teased her while wiggling free of the group hug.
Declan rolled his eyes. “Of course, Lizzie. Your boyfriend and boss are dressed in suits and ties just for you. What’re you two drinking? I need a bottle of gin.”
“My kind of boss,” I joked.
Declan snickered, winking playfully at Lizzie and me. “It’s going to be a long, cold winter. We need to stock up. I’ll be right back.”