by Jeff Adams
He was breathtaking when he walked in. He scanned the room, giving me a couple seconds to drink him in from afar before he found me. His jeans were just the right fit. The dark purple V-neck sweater looked comfy under a great looking pea coat. He caught my eye, smiled and waved.
“The usual, Alex?” a barista called out from behind the counter before he’d even gotten there.
“Please,” Alex said as he nodded at the guy. He moved towards me, saying hello to a couple of people on the way. This was his neighborhood coffee place. We were on his turf. My nerves kicked up another notch.
I stood up as he approached and extended a hand. He grasped it tightly, shook it, and drew me into a hug.
“Good to see you, man,” Alex said.
The embrace was fantastic. He smelled great, clean with just a hint of cologne. I held the hug to feel his body for as long as he let me. I made mental notes of every finite detail, feeling what I could through the coat. He gave off a smooth confidence. I hoped I was doing the same.
“I couldn’t believe you turned up at the rink yesterday,” I said. “It was a great surprise.”
“Drink’s up, Alex,” the barista called.
“Hold that thought,” he said. I sat down and watched him as he quickly picked up his drink at the bar. “So, yeah, I wasn’t expecting to find anyone there, much less you. You were a consistent nemesis. I never quite knew what you were going to do across that dot and it kept me on my toes, just like yesterday. So how’s California life treating you?”
“So far so good. I like San Francisco. Gorgeous weather and lots to do when I’m not working. I’ll be glad when I’m not the new guy anymore so I can get a little more free time. But I really can’t complain too much, you know.”
“Yeah. I’ve got a bit of the new guy thing going on at the paper, even though I interned a couple summers. At least they let me hop on the hockey beat, which was cool. I still cover a lot of grunt jobs, too. It’s okay though, I can see the Red Wings for free anytime.”
“I see quite a few Sharks games, too. It’s a good perk. Cheers to seeing a lot of good hockey.” I raised my mug and Alex clanked his against it.
“Cheers.”
We both took long drinks. I looked at him over the rim of my mug and was embarrassed to lock eyes with him, even though they easily drew me in. I wasn’t drinking anymore, but I held the mug to my lips as if that would give me cover from staring. He seemed to do the same—watching me intently. What was he looking for? Some indication this might be more than a catch up?
Alex broke the silence. “How was Thanksgiving? Lots of family in town?” He continued as if we hadn’t just had the mini staring contest.
“Yeah.” I put the mug down. “I think every member of our family was at the house at some point yesterday. Mom blamed it on me since people weren’t used to me being home. It made it even more of an event than it usually is. What about yours?”
“Pretty low key. I did my usual shuttling back and forth between mom and dad. Ended up with twice the food in my stomach, which is why the skate yesterday was all the more important. Had to gear up to handle all that eating. How long are you in town for?”
“Flights at noon on Sunday. Staying as long as I can, but making sure I’m not dragging Monday back at work.”
“Bummer, there’s a Red Wings game Sunday afternoon that I’ve got an extra ticket for.”
“Oh man, that would’ve been awesome. Rain check?” I downed the rest of my coffee.
“Consider it done. Let me get you a refill. I did say I’d buy the winner coffee after all. What’re you drinking?”
“It was just straight up strong coffee.”
“Let me get you the specialty of the house. It’s a chocolate, coffee, espresso combination that’s the best thing you’ll ever have.”
“All right.”
“Be right back.” He headed over to the barista and chatted with him while getting the drinks. The jeans showed off his ass, a tight, perfect bubble. I wanted some of that. He came back with a large cup that nearly overflowed with whipped cream.
“Ta-dah.”
“Impressive,” I said as he sat the steamy concoction in front of me. The strong chocolate smell was intoxicating. “This is going to be crazy good, isn’t it?”
“Yup. It’ll make you wish you lived here so you could have this all the time.”
“Speaking of, I assume you live near here. You seem to know a lot of people.”
He nodded. “Yeah, just a couple blocks away.”
“Just starting out and living around here? Well done.” I was impressed. This was not a cheap neighborhood even in Detroit’s depressed economy.
“I do okay. I room with two other guys. Pooling our resources got us a good space.”
“Ah yes, roomies. I have one of those, too. I long for a place of my own. Hopefully I’ll pull that off in a year or two.” I decided to dive in and get the info I really wanted. Hopefully I was going to phrase it right and not make it look too obvious. “So besides work and some hockey, what do you do for fun? Girlfriend in the picture?”
He worked to keep a straight face before a soft laugh took over. “Is your gaydar that weak?” I started to stammer out something stupid, but he answered before I got anything out of my mouth. “I’m gay, Mitchell. I haven’t been out as long as you have, but it’s true.”
I took a long drink of the chocolate goodness to process that information.
“I heard about you, of course, while you were playing for Michigan,” he started talking again so I didn’t have to. “It was pretty big news when the rumors kicked up. Then it was official and a ton of news coverage followed, including some that I wrote about—the Spartans reactions. It never became old news to me though. I thought about getting in touch a few times, but I never got up the courage. And then there you were at the rink yesterday and everything came flooding back. You’ve no idea how much I wanted to tackle you on the other side of the face off dot.”
“Actually, I think I do. Why did you have to get up the nerve to talk to me? It’s not like we were mortal enemies.”
“Stupid stuff in my head, you know. I wasn’t comfortable being out until last year. I finally told my parents and some close friends. But, I kept freaking myself out over it.” Alex looked into his coffee. I was surprised his confidence wavered. “One day I found an article from OutSports on you. It must have been one of the first when you came out.” He looked back at me. “You said ‘I don’t care what other people think. I’ll fight them off me on the ice if I have to, but I’m not going to hide. I’m not going to apologize. If that means the team doesn’t want me, I’d be sad about that, but I wouldn’t regret my choice to live honestly.’”
“Wow. I think you just quoted that verbatim.”
He smiled. “I kinda memorized it, especially that last part.” Now he looked embarrassed.
I reached across the table and brought one of his hands to my mouth and kissed it softly. “I don’t know what to say. I’m honored that after all this time you remember that.”
He tightened his grip on my hand. “My heart is pounding so fast right now, just having you hold my hand.”
I was thrilled. This boy—no, this man—I’d crushed on for years was holding my hand. My thumb caressed the fine hairs on his wrist as we stared at each other.
“So I’ve got to ask,” he said, “are you seeing someone? Am I going to get beat up by some other hockey player?”
I laughed. “No. I’ve hardly had time for dates since graduation with moving and the new job.”
“I can’t believe no one has grabbed you up”
“Mr. Right hasn’t stepped up yet. What about you?”
“I’ve dated some over the past year, mostly to see what the scene is like. I’ve made a couple of good friends that way, but no Mr. Right for me either.”
I downed the rest of my chocolate coffee. “In the mood for a walk? It’s such a nice night, seems a shame to stay cooped up in here.”
> “Sounds good to me.” Alex gave my hand a quick squeeze before he released it. He turned to the barista, “Marty, two regular coffees to go please?”
“You got it, Alex.”
“A little warmth to take with us,” Alex said.
“Nice.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I sighed. “One second. I gotta see if this is work.”
“No problem. I’ll get the coffee.”
I pulled out my phone and it was a text from Trevor. “Is it a date, or not?” it said. I smiled and decided he could wait.
“Not work, huh?” Alex handed me a cup.
“Nope, just a nosy brother.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah. Trevor was convinced that this was going to be a date.”
“He’s a smart one.”
“Yeah, he is.”
I took Alex’s hand as we left the café. The chilly snap in the air felt great against my face. Even better was the warmth of his hand, while the cooler air wrapped around us. It was very comfortable.
I’m not sure who lead the walk. We were in his neighborhood, but every now and then I’d lead us down a block just because it seemed nice. I heard more about his job, which sounded great. I had no idea he was a writer at heart. We window shopped a bit, and sometimes went into stores that were still open, trying to take advantage of the just-started Christmas shopping season. It became clear that he liked to look at clothes, whereas I gravitated towards housewares.
It was surprising how long we’d just walk—quiet and peaceful. We never broke our handhold, unless we were looking at something in a store. This was the best date I’d ever been on. It was like I’d known Alex forever, which I guess I kind of had, but it was new at the same time. We ended up in a park and sat down on the edge of a dry fountain.
“Is it too corny if I say that I don’t want this night to end?” Alex asked. “I didn’t know a date could be this great.”
“Me either.”
We sat across from each other, cross-legged on the fountain’s rim. Our knees touched. “What’re your friends going to think when I show up at the game tomorrow? A guy they don’t really know.”
I shrugged. “Well, it’s not like they don’t know about me. My guess is they won’t say anything. Why do you ask?”
“Little nervous I guess.”
I squeezed his hand, trying to be reassuring. “Don’t be. They’re good guys. I wouldn’t hang with them if they weren’t. Besides, they’re gonna like you. You play good hockey.” I kissed his hand. “Plus you’re with me and that’ll make it okay.” I placed another kiss where I’d put the first one. He shuddered. “You getting cold?”
“No. Not at all. That kiss did that.”
“Glad you liked it.” The little bit of light around the fountain glinted in his eyes perfectly. The green was amped up, like looking into shimmering stained glass. I knew I was looking too long, but it was impossible not to. “Here’s my corny comment. Your eyes are amazing. I’ve loved them from the first time I took a face off against you as a sophomore. The green is stunning. It was the first thing that attracted me to you. Those eyes starting out through your face mask.”
“For me, it was your hair, super dark, kinda curly.” He reached across and ran his hand through it. “Our second game against each other, you warmed up with your helmet off. I had a hard on the whole game. Do you know how hard it is to skate with that in your cup?”
“Oh yeah, I’ve been there. Always because of you.” I unfolded my legs, which were starting to stiffen up. I ended up grunting as I stretched out. “Sorry. That crash into you took more of a toll than I expected.”
“Are you letting yourself get out of shape?” Alex asked, a mischievous look on his face.
“Remember, it was me who beat you.”
“It was planned,” he said. “I couldn’t let you look bad in front of Trevor.”
I couldn’t decide if he was kidding or not.
I stood up to stretch so I could pop all the kinks I was feeling. “Let’s see how your off-ice conditioning is. See if you can catch me.” I took off running across the grass before he could get up.
I heard his footfalls behind me. I started zig-zagging, heading towards the trees. I ran all the time in the hills of San Francisco, so on this flat ground, even around trees, it was easy to maintain speed. I spun around and ran backwards so I could see where Alex was. I couldn’t find him. Going into the trees might have been a mistake, too many options. I turned around and charted a course to bring me back out into the open. I looked around, keeping an eye out for Alex. He was good at being stealthy. I heard nothing, except for the noise I was making.
“Gotcha!” I was just about to clear the tree line when Alex jumped in front of me. He kept moving, backing me into a tree.
“Shit, man, how’d you do that?”
“I played in this park as a kid. You can’t get away from me here. Once you went into the trees you were doomed.”
“If this is doomed, I’m good with it.” I pulled him towards me so his body was fully against mine. It was my turn to shudder. “And no, I’m not cold. You against me, it’s a dream come true.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist. It was crazy that every high school fantasy I’d ever had was happening right now. I took advantage of the situation and brought my lips to his, giving him the same light kiss I’d put on his hand earlier. He returned the kiss, equally soft. The goatee tickled against my skin. The kiss got more intense as our tongues came together, wrapping around each other.
He let his weight fall into me. Crashing into him on the ice gave me a small indication how solid he was. He was tight, compact, full of muscle, similar to my build. My hands went under his jacket and sweater and felt up his back, which was smooth and defined. My hands stayed in appropriate places, even though I wanted to go below his waistband. This did not need to be rushed.
I don’t know how long we kissed. We felt each other up under our clothes as much as we could. Alex got one hand under my sweater and lightly tweaked my nipples. I moaned, probably too loud for being outside, but he was very gently pushing all my buttons between the goatee against my neck, the caresses, the kisses, his body against mine.
He slowly broke the kiss. It felt like he’d taken away vital life support. “Is it too forward to ask you back to my place? I don’t want you to think I always take people home on the first date, but we could be a lot more comfortable there.”
“I’ll go anywhere you tell me too.”
Once again our hands locked together. It was a quick walk, probably less than five minutes. He lived on the fourth floor of a loft building. The living room and kitchen were open space with high ceilings. It was hard to believe three guys just out of college lived here; it was too clean. My place wasn’t this clean. There was a guy lying on the couch watching TV, hopefully this wasn’t going to stop us from continuing.
“Hey, Pete, this is Mitchell. Mitchell, Pete.”
“Hey, man,” I said.
The guy waived, but kept his spot.
Alex led me further back into the loft. I was glad to see, as he flipped on the light, that this room was clearly his alone, unless he had a roommate sleeping in the queen sized bed with him.
“We each have separate rooms, so it’s all good.” He locked the door, as if he’d heard the questions in my head. “I felt you tense up when you saw Pete.”
“Sorry. I just…well. I know you said you had roommates, but I didn’t expect you’d bring me back with them here.”
“I’m the only one without a boyfriend, but the other boys are over all the time. Pete’s is working tonight. He’ll be over later I’m sure. Martin is out of town with his guy.” Our hands were still locked and Alex used that to spin me in towards him, like a smooth dance move. “Let’s get this off of you.” He pushed the coat off my shoulders and down my arms. He caught it so it didn’t hit the floor and he tossed it onto a chair. “I think we need a little bit more atmosphere. One second.”
Alex quickly produced a few candles and placed them around the room, lighting them as he went. He also turned on a floor lamp and killed the big overhead light. A pretty stunning, intimate lighting scheme was created.
“This is a great place you’ve got.”
“Thanks.” He took his coat off and dropped it on the chair next to mine. “Not too over the top with the candles I hope.”
“Nope. I like it. I’ve never had anyone do a setup like this.” I caught a look at the clock next to the bed. “Do you know it’s after eleven?”
“Holy shit, really?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that okay?”
“Sure. It’s not like I’ve got a curfew,” I said, smiling. “Though if I did I’d be willing to blow it. I’m just surprised. We must have been parked against that tree a long time.”
“I think I’ve damaged you a bit, too.” He touched the area around my lips. “You’re very red. I think I scraped you a bit too much.”
“I don’t care. I loved that.” To prove the point I pulled him to me and aggressively went for his mouth. As deliberately as I could I made his whiskers scrape against my face.
“Beard fetish, eh?” He said, sort of giggling, in between kisses.
“I guess you could call it that. Is that okay?”
“Hell yeah. There was one guy I went out with for a while who complained about it all the time.” I continued nuzzling him as he spoke. “Probably bad form to talk about that, isn’t it?”
“His loss, my gain.” I nibbled on his chin some more.
“Can I please get this off of you?” he asked, tugging at my sweater. I stopped the nibbling and let him pull the sweater up and over my head. “Nice. Feeling it earlier didn’t prepare me for this.” He ran his hand over my pecs. “Dude, you’re built. Were you like this in high school?”
“I don’t know how to answer that without sounding conceited or like a gym rat.”
“Just say yes.”
“Okay, yes. I was in shape back then. You gotta be in shape to be a center after all. I’m sure you were working out just like I was.”