It’s not your fault he had an affair. Stop blaming yourself.
Maggie knew this was true, but taking responsibility for everything had become a way of life for her, and it was difficult for her to stop.
As Maggie sat there, contemplating this, her cell phone vibrated. It was a text from Kaia asking how to make lasagna. Maggie smiled. At least being boring had a few perks. Her daughter could count on her to know things like how to boil noodles and fry hamburger. She answered her, feeling happy to be needed as the practical mom that she was.
Andrew picked Kaia up from school and they drove to the store to buy groceries. He hated missing so much work, but he had no choice. He’d spread the story around his office about Maggie having to go to Seattle to help out a relative, so a least no one questioned his leaving early each day. In fact, a couple of the office women had told him how sweet it was of him to take care of his daughter. Even though he resented having to do Maggie’s errands, he was pretty proud that he’d been able to make himself out to look like the good dad.
Kaia shook her head at him when they parked at the local grocery store. “What?” Andrew asked, perplexed.
“Mom always goes to Walmart first to buy most of the groceries, because it’s cheaper. She only comes here to buy the meat, dairy products, and baked goods, because she says they’re better here.”
Andrew sighed. “Your mom has all the time in the world to go from store to store, but if we do that, we’ll never get home in time to make lasagna. Besides, this store is one of our biggest sponsors for television advertising. We should support our local stores instead of the chain stores.”
“Okay, but that’s not how Mom does it,” Kaia said as she stepped out of the car and followed Andrew into the store.
Andrew didn’t care how Maggie bought groceries. He was in charge now, and they were doing it his way.
Kaia grabbed a cart and rolled it into the store, following her dad. She stopped at the apples and started carefully choosing ones to put in a plastic bag.
“Why are you scrutinizing every apple? Just grab a few and bag them.”
“Geez, Dad. You have to look for bruises, holes, and broken stems. I don’t want to eat a rotten apple.”
Andrew frowned but didn’t reply. He headed over to the lettuce and picked up a head. He didn’t know the first thing about buying produce. In truth, he didn’t know anything about grocery shopping. Maggie had always done the shopping and cooking, and he’d never paid any attention to it.
As he picked out a bunch of bananas, Kaia shook her head at him.
“Now what?” he asked.
“Look at all the black spots on those. You’re supposed to pick ones that are just a little green at the top, without all the spots. They’ll be perfect in a day or two and last longer.”
Andrew sighed but did as he was told. After placing the bananas into the cart, he asked, “How do you know so much about picking fruit?”
Kaia shot a condescending stare his way. “I go shopping with Mom all the time. I’m not stupid—I see what she does.”
“Why do you always go? Do you like shopping?” Andrew asked. It never occurred to him that Kaia went everywhere with Maggie.
“Not really. At least, not this type of shopping. But it’s an occupational hazard. I can’t drive yet, so I have to go everywhere Mom goes.”
Andrew laughed. “Occupational hazard? What in the world do you mean by that?”
“Well, duh, Dad. I have to do whatever the grown-ups are doing. It’s an occupational hazard of being a teen without a driver’s license.”
Andrew shook his head and smiled. “You know, you’re a funny kid.”
Kaia just rolled her eyes and walked past her dad with the cart.
After filling the cart, they got in line to pay. Most of the checkout clerks and baggers knew Kaia, either from her shopping with Maggie or because a few were friends with Kyle. Andrew was surprised, and a little proud, that his daughter knew so many people. He’d always prided himself on being popular in town, and he liked that his daughter seemed to be, too. He had a smug look as he watched the computer screen total up their groceries.
“Hi, Kaia. Where’s Maggie?” A young woman wearing a smock came up to the counter and opened a plastic bag for their groceries.
“Hi, Cindi. Mom’s gone away for a while, but she’ll be back soon,” Kaia said, then asked how Cindi was doing.
As Andrew listened to the exchange between his daughter and Cindi, he watched the girl bagging his groceries. Her hands were small and wide, which made it awkward for her to pick up larger items. She had a friendly, round face and almond-shaped eyes. Her hair was cut short, and she had bangs framing her eyes. There was no mistaking she had Down syndrome, and Andrew wondered how Kaia knew her.
Kaia noticed her dad watching her, so she turned to him. “This is Cindi, Dad. Mom drives her here to work and sometimes takes Cindi shopping, too.”
“Oh” was all Andrew managed to say. It dawned on him that Cindi was one of the residents of the group home where Maggie worked. Since he’d never really paid attention to what Maggie did or who she worked with, this surprised him.
“And bowling, too,” Cindi interjected with a wide smile, making Kaia laugh.
“Yes, and we sometimes go bowling together, too,” Kaia said.
“Bowling?” Andrew asked. But then the cashier told him the total of the bill, and his attention returned to the computer screen.
“How much did you say?” Andrew asked.
“Two hundred sixty-five dollars and ninety-eight cents,” the boy said. He began helping Cindi bag the groceries.
Andrew frowned. Were groceries really this expensive? He looked over at Kaia.
“Told you,” she said with a satisfied look.
Andrew shook his head and swiped his debit card to pay.
Cindi helped cart the groceries out to Andrew’s black convertible and loaded them into the trunk and the backseat.
“This is a lot smaller than Maggie’s van,” Cindi commented as she tried to make everything fit.
Andrew bit his lip and didn’t say anything.
“Bye, Kaia,” Cindi said, waving. “Tell Maggie I miss her.”
Kaia waved and slipped into the passenger seat as her dad got behind the wheel.
“Looks like Cindi and you know each other pretty well,” he said as he started the car.
“Well, yeah. I hang out with Mom when she works in the summer, and I go along when she takes residents shopping or out for activities. Cindi is sweet. And you should see how great she bowls. She always beats me.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that you went to work with your mom,” Andrew said.
“What did you think I did all these years? Sit at home alone while Mom worked? She never wanted me to be home alone, so she brought me along. Kyle used to come, too, but once he had a summer job, he stopped.”
When Andrew thought about it, he did remember Maggie saying that the kids went to work with her sometimes in the summer. He hadn’t really given it much thought. He’d always gone to work and didn’t worry about where the kids or Maggie were. The kids were Maggie’s job. Summers were always so busy when the kids were young, with Kyle in Little League and Kaia in tennis. He’d paid attention to their sports, because both baseball and tennis interested him, but the day-to-day stuff was lost on him. Now, he wondered why he hadn’t paid more attention.
After Andrew and Kaia unloaded the groceries and carried them in, Kaia took charge and began putting everything away. “I doubt if you know where everything goes, anyway,” she told her dad when he said he would help. Andrew frowned, but he had to admit she was right. “You can feed Bear and fill the cat-food bowls while I finish,” she said.
“Fine.” Andrew found the canned dog food and opened a can, then spilled the entire contents into Bear’s bowl.
Kaia ran over and grabbed the bowl. “Only half a can. He gets half in the morning and half at night. And he gets dry food, too, in the other bowl.” She started scraping food out of the bowl and back into the can, then found a plastic lid and capped it.
“What difference does it make?” Andrew asked, angry at being chastised by a teenager.
“Bear’s getting too fat. Mom’s limiting his canned food, and he eats diet dry food.”
“Oh.” Andrew walked over to the cat-food bowls with a container of dry food. “Can I feed the cats, or are they on a diet, too?”
Kaia only stared at her dad with raised eyebrows. She looked like Maggie when she looked at him that way. Andrew stopped being sarcastic and fed the cats.
“Maybe you should be in charge of feeding the animals so I don’t mess it up,” he suggested, and was rewarded with a sigh. Cripes, do all women sigh so much? Or do I bring it out in them?
“I’ll start making the lasagna,” Kaia said as she finished putting the groceries away. “Do you want to make the salad?”
“Do you think I can do it right?”
“Daaaad!”
“I’m just kidding. I’ll do it,” Andrew said, chuckling. And they both began working quietly, side by side, in the kitchen.
After Maggie and Bobbi had eaten their fill, they made the trek out to her van and got in for the drive back to Reno. But as they passed the car lot again, instead of driving right by it, Maggie found herself pulling in and stopping behind the red Mustang.
“Are you doing what I think you’re doing?” Bobbi asked, her eyes wide with surprise.
“I’m just taking another look,” Maggie said, but as the words left her mouth, she knew that wasn’t true. She really wanted to drive the Mustang again. And again, and again. Crap. I do want to buy it.
The two women stepped out of the van and stood in silence, staring at the car as the sun sunk lower on the horizon.
“I really loved driving that car,” Maggie said.
“It’s a great car,” Bobbi agreed.
“Is it crazy, wanting a sports car at my age?”
Bobbi looked over at Maggie. “At your age? I didn’t know you were an old lady. Maybe we should be looking at a motorized scooter chair instead.”
“Ha, ha.”
Maggie continued staring at the car. This is crazy. It’s absolutely ridiculous. Moms don’t drive convertibles. They drive vans. But Maggie had loved how it felt driving that car. She could see herself in it—top down, the breeze caressing her face—driving to Seattle. But what will Andrew say? She frowned. Who cares what Andrew says? He drives a convertible. Why shouldn’t I?
“Red or blue?” Maggie asked.
“Definitely red.”
Maggie turned to Bobbi, her expression doubtful. “But doesn’t red just shout out midlife crisis?”
Bobbi shrugged. “Well, isn’t that kind of what this is?”
“Oh hell,” Maggie said, and both women broke out in laughter. “Might as well just embrace it rather than fight it, huh?”
“Might as well,” Bobbi agreed.
The door to the office opened, and Jerry came out, smiling wide. Maggie followed him back into the office to make arrangements to trade in her old life for her new one.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Maggie sat cross-legged on the bed in her hotel room. She was looking at her computer screen to view the pictures she had taken that day when her phone buzzed. She glanced at her phone and saw the call was from home. She hesitated a moment. She’d had such a nice day, and she didn’t want to end it by battling wits with Andrew again. But then she noticed the time and realized it was after eleven o’clock at home. Afraid there might be something wrong, she decided to answer.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Maggie. I didn’t wake you, did I?” Andrew asked.
“No. You’re up late. Is something wrong?”
“No, everything is fine here. I’m just calling to check on you.”
Maggie’s eyebrows rose. Andrew actually sounded like he was in a good mood for a change. “That’s nice. How did the lasagna turn out? Was it edible?”
“How’d you know we ate lasagna?”
Maggie chuckled. “Kaia texted me a couple of times asking for directions.”
“Oh, so that’s how she knew how to make it. And here she had me thinking she was a super teenager, knowing how to cook so well.” Andrew laughed, a happy sound, and it made Maggie smile. She hadn’t heard him joke or laugh in a very long time.
“Well, she is pretty adept at doing things around the house and cooking a few dishes. So did it taste okay?”
“Yeah, it was just like your lasagna. She did a good job. She also made garlic toast, and she even allowed me to make the salad. We had a good dinner. It was actually fun.”
Wow, Maggie thought. Andrew actually helped with dinner. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d assisted her in making a meal, or even offered to help. “That’s great. Kaia’s a good kid. She can be a lot of fun when she isn’t brooding. How did grocery shopping go?”
“Oh, it went fine. Kaia knew exactly what to buy. Groceries sure are expensive, though. I guess I never realized how much it cost for a week’s worth of food.”
Maggie frowned. “Didn’t Kaia tell you where to buy groceries so you’d save money?”
“Oh, yeah, of course she did. Kaia knows everything. She’s a big help. How was your day? What did you do?”
Maggie told him about her drive to Lake Tahoe and the photos she’d taken. She didn’t mention the Mustang. She figured she’d spring that one on him later. She didn’t want to ruin his good mood. “It was so much fun,” Maggie said, her voice growing animated. “I’d forgotten how beautiful it is in Tahoe. Do you remember the beach we used to go to years ago?”
“Yes. I loved going there.”
“I took some gorgeous pictures of the crystal-clear water and the snowcapped mountains there. It was so inspiring and gorgeous, I wished . . .” Maggie faltered.
“What did you wish?” Andrew asked, caught up in Maggie’s excitement.
“I wished you and the kids were there with me to enjoy it.”
“That would be fun. I wish we had been there, too,” Andrew said softly.
Maggie paused at Andrew’s words. He sounded sincere, and it warmed her heart to think he actually meant it.
“I was just looking at the pictures on my computer,” she said. “I can’t wait for you and the kids to see them.”
“You always did take wonderful pictures,” Andrew said. “You’re very talented.”
Maggie smiled. It had been a long time since Andrew had complimented her. “I forgot how much I loved taking pictures. I’ve really missed it.”
“You should do more of it,” Andrew said. “The kids are older now. I don’t see why you couldn’t spend more time taking photos.”
“I’ve been thinking about that. Remember years ago, when we talked about me opening an art shop in town where I could sell my own photographs as well as other artists’ work? I’d really love to do that.”
“I don’t know, Maggie. That would be expensive, and opening a new business is always a big risk.”
Maggie sighed. Once again, Andrew’s conservative side had come out when she talked about fulfilling a dream. “It was only an idea. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”
“I didn’t mean to sound so discouraging,” Andrew said quickly. “Why don’t we talk about it when you get back?”
Maggie’s heart soared. She sat on the bed for a long time after they’d said good night, excited by their conversation. It had been a long time since they’d talked to each other without arguing, and it felt good. What had suddenly come over him? Had her leaving him made him wake up and realize how much he missed her? She hoped so. As she fell asleep that night, she had high hopes
that their life together might turn out fine after all.
After Andrew hung up the phone, he grimaced at the white lie he’d told Maggie about grocery shopping. Andrew didn’t want to admit he hadn’t listened to his fourteen-year-old daughter and therefore spent much more than he should have. After Kaia and he had eaten dinner, he’d compared what Maggie spent on groceries and found she actually saved about forty dollars a week by store hopping. He’d never given Maggie credit for being careful with the money, but now he understood that she was as careful as she could be—it was just that life was expensive. He should have told Maggie that, but his ego made him not want to admit it to her.
Staring at the family photos on the wall, he wondered why it was so hard for him to tell Maggie how he felt. And why had he been so quick to discourage Maggie about her idea for an art shop? They’d been having a good conversation, and Andrew had heard some of the old Maggie in her voice. The Maggie he’d known in college, who’d been full of ideas and dreams. He’d loved that about her. Why had he tried to quash her dream?
He was happy he’d stopped himself from being a total jerk, saying they could talk about her idea when she came home. The fact that she’d agreed made him think she was going to return soon. He knew they still had a long way to go to fix their marriage, but he was hopeful they were on the right track.
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